Dad sells son's 90-dollar video game online for more than 9000

Reba said:
I was only making a specific comparison between his reaction and the "rehab" reaction. I wasn't comparing his reaction in general to other forms of discipline. Compared to a father/son chat or some kind of restriction, it would be over reacting. Compared to sending the son to rehab, it was not over reacting. That's the difference.
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Ok, understood, :ty:
 
Liebling:-))) said:
...All what I made my post is suspect and suggestion since the article written "My innoncent son......" sound a first time to me because I often read article about teenagers in several threads how and what the parents humilated them etc. Most of articles written "My rebellious son or daughter....." but I saw those word "My innoncent son....." for a first time is here.
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The sentence seemed to be the father making a sarcastic statement.
 
Reba said:
Do you mean that you believe the teenage son didn't know it was "not right" to smoke pot? Puh-lease!

Like you said, teens are not children. I can't believe he didn't know smoking pot was "not right". :roll:
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Like what I said before to use your logic, please... :)

Reasons Why Teens Turn to Drugs

That´s why I don´t agree to punish/humiliate my boy to the public or ebay but help him. You can call me Dr. Liebling again whatever you like to that´s because you disagree with my view. :)
 
Dad should have put 9100 dollars in his son s saving acct in the bank for his future .. maybe college costs.... that little boy should not have of smoking pot....
 
Reba said:
The sentence seemed to be the father making a sarcastic statement.
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Either that, or he was one of those delusional parents who actually believe themselves when they say, "My child would never....." and then are shocked when their children actually do.:giggle: These are the parents that overreact to these incidents because they have deluded themselves all along, and therefore, have given no thought on how to deal with the inevitable.
 
Angel said:
Ok, understood, :ty:
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OK. :)

Personally, I wouldn't have handled the situation the same way as that dad but it's not my son.

If dad's method doesn't work, maybe he can use the $9,000 for counseling sessions.

j/k ;)
 
SxyPorkie said:
Dad should have put 9100 dollars in his son s saving acct in the bank for his future .. maybe college costs.... that little boy should not have of smoking pot....
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Good point. The child does not receive the benefit until a much later date. Still doesn't get his game, so he suffers immediate consequences. But also learns that there is a consequence to good behavior.
 
Reba said:
OK. :)

Personally, I wouldn't have handled the situation the same way as that dad but it's not my son.

If dad's method doesn't work, maybe he can use the $9,000 for counseling sessions.j/k ;)
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LOL.
 
Liebling:-))) said:
Is it your suggestion/suspect or make an assumption over that article written?
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I said "seemed"; that's not a suggestion nor a suspicion nor an assumption about the article. That's an assessment of a grammatical statement. I certainly wouldn't come to any conclusions about the family dynamics based on that one sentence.
 
jillio said:
Perhaps Dad needs to spend a bit more time teaching his son to make better judgements regarding people and situations, instead of looking for quick fixes such as behavioral control methods that are effective with animals, but do little to achieve results with humans.
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Exactly
 
Reba said:
Personally, I wouldn't have handled the situation the same way as that dad but it's not my son.
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:confused: *scratch my head* I thought you agree for humliation as form of punishment.
 
I believe people should have free choice in their beliefs and actions as much as is possible without causing harm to others. I believe people should have free choice in what beliefs they raise their children.

We don't really know what the father believes, or if what he is doing is consistent with that belief, but we can make a pretty good guess. Without knowing what he is trying to teach it makes it hard to discuss whether what he did is right or wrong.

There are five basic approaches to life and what we teach our children (There are more, but lets try to keep some boundries, and keep the post reasonable length :fingersx:): Moral, ethical, legal, utilitarian, and hedonistic.

Morals tells us what is right in God's eyes. Each church is a bit different so consult your Bible and minister about what is right here. Some things are pretty much absolute: For instence "Thou shalt not commit adultry."

Ethics attempts to solve for what is fair dealing with yourself and other people. Ethical people live up to their word and keep contracts made with others, while trying not to take advantage of others or be taken advantage of themselves. A couple who are swingers may not be moral but be extremely ethical.

Legal believes in following the law, regardless of what morals or ethics tells us is the right thing to do. In this case a) it is illegal to smoke marijauna and b) (almost) all property in the possession of the child is owned by the parent or guardian to dispose of as they choose. Sounds to me as though the father in this case is trying to teach his son to obey the law rather than teaching moral or ethical behavior.

Utilitarianism believes in doing the greatest good for the largest number of people regardless of who is hurt -- Even if it is yourself or the one you love the most.

Hedonism teaches the opposite of utilitarianism: Do that which you enjoy first and to hell with anyone else. (Okay, maybe a mild exageration here).

I personally practice tribal ethics, which is close to what Deaf Culture is today, or Deaf World was as it was called when I was a child. but it is not a philosophy understood or accepted by most people.

Anyway what you are trying to teach your child depends on what you believe, and if what you believe is confused then what you teach your child will also be confused.

It is every person's duty to themselves and their children to understand their own beliefs and what choices they should make according to those beliefs: Unfortunately few people ever even think about this.
 
jillio said:
That is just it. A gift, by definition, is not a reward. And one can usually achieve temporary compliance through these techniques in behaviorism, but the effects are rarely long lasting. It just makes the kids sneakier, and results in no lasting attitude changes. Attitude changes are necessary for long term behavioral changes. And that is accomplished through cognitive means. Not to mention the actions of the father convey the message to the child that it is completely acceptable to profit by taking that which was intended for another and converting it for one's own use. So, now, when the kid steals one of Dad's DVDs and sells it to get the money he needs to smoke his pot in a more secure location, it is the lesson the parent has taught him.
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Well said!!!!

It teachs the children to take their parent´s things to sell for money. The lesson, the children learn from their parents like that.
 
Q. Why do young people turn to drugs?

Drug Abuse: Help for the user

That´s why I am for to help the children is focus their problem and feeling before too late, not punish them.

Help the children is not an overreation.
 
Angel said:
That's the father' s fault for not stopping his son from hanging with the wrong crowd.
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Do you really think the father has control over who the son hangs out with at school? I bet he won’t be allowing those kids over to his house after this incident.

Angel said:
How did you know he already did?, my parents did not teach me anything about sex, drugs, smoking etc.
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And I am sure you will not make the same mistake with your own children. You seem to be a diligent person and I expect you will do your best to raise your children and teach them the things you were not taught. I am sure this father feels he is teaching his son a lesson about consequences involved with drugs. After all, if he grows up continuing to do drugs he may go to jail, or keep from getting a decent job (drug testing), etc. Maybe the father wants to influence his future decisions by taking the action he did.

Angel said:
Did I say anything about taken him to a doctor and rehab? no I didn't.
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No, Liebling did.

jillio said:
That is just it. A gift, by definition, is not a reward.
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It’s not a “gift” until it’s given.

Intention. And I'm quite sure that he told his son that the game had been purchased for him as a gift, and was now being denied. Otherwise, where is the logic behind selling it?
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The father’s intention changed due to the poor behavior of his son.

"Not right" is a subjective assessment.
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Okay, what the son did was WRONG. I see absolutely nothing subjective in that.

jillio said:
Perhaps Dad needs to spend a bit more time teaching his son to make better judgements regarding people and situations, instead of looking for quick fixes such as behavioral control methods that are effective with animals, but do little to achieve results with humans.
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I hope that this “behavioral control method” was sufficient to end the bad behavior, but if not, I am sure the father will try other methods as well, including and probably not limited to, “teaching his son to make better judgments regarding people and situations”.

All we know is a small portion of the overall story. Without more information on which to base our judgments, we are at best just guessing what the father has already done and what he may or may not do in the future.

Liebling said:
All what I made my post is suspect and suggestion since the article written "My innoncent son......" sound a first time to me because I often read article about teenagers in several threads how and what the parents humilated them etc. Most of articles written "My rebellious son or daughter....." but I saw those word "My innoncent son....." for a first time is here.
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And once again, I saw those words as SARCASM.

Liebling said:
To me, humliate a child for sell his/her material things to the public or ebay is the worst - it affect child´s self esteem. I rather help my child than punish/humilate him or her.
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The identity of the boy and his father were never revealed, so I don’t see how that would affect the son’s self esteem.

jillio said:
Ah, yes.....but experimentation implies more than once.
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Where do you get that??? I don’t see that implied at all.

SxyPorkie said:
Dad should have put 9100 dollars in his son s saving acct in the bank for his future .. maybe college costs.... that little boy should not have of smoking pot....
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For all we know, the dad may intend to use the $9100 for future rehab services for his son. *shrug*

Liebling said:
Is it your suggestion/suspect or make an assumption over that article written?
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Isn’t that exactly what you are doing when you assume that this is the only course of action this father is taking with regard to the situation?

Liebling said:
*scratch my head* I thought you agree for humliation as form of punishment.
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I don’t think it really matters what any of us think, since we are not the ones in the situation and the son was not physically injured through this means of discipline. We all have different parenting styles and techniques and it is okay to differ from one another.

Good post, Berry!

jillio said:
Not to mention the actions of the father convey the message to the child that it is completely acceptable to profit by taking that which was intended for another and converting it for one's own use. So, now, when the kid steals one of Dad's DVDs and sells it to get the money he needs to smoke his pot in a more secure location, it is the lesson the parent has taught him.
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Actually, there is a BIG difference here. The father did not steal anything, as it never belonged to the son. And, I doubt the father will use the proceeds for illegal purposes.

Again, we do not know what further actions this father is taking, so let’s not make unsubstantiated assumptions.
 
Liebling:-))) said:
:confused: *scratch my head* I thought you agree for humliation as form of punishment.
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1. Where in the story did it say the boy was humiliated?

2. Where have I said that I use humiliation as a form of punishment?

3. If a guilty child feels embarrassed for doing something wrong what's wrong with that?

4. Just because I wouldn't handle the situation the same way as the ebay dad did, it doesn't mean that he shouldn't use it.

Still confused?
 
Liebling:-))) said:
It teachs the children to take their parent´s things to sell for money. The lesson, the children learn from their parents like that.
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Really? Is that another family magazine "fact"?

How about it teaches kids that misbehavior has negative repercussions? How about a kid thinking, whoa, I don't ever want to do that again--it's just not worth it.
 
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