Do you really think the father has control over who the son hangs out with at school? I bet he won’t be allowing those kids over to his house after this incident.
Which is all the more indication that the situation needs to be addressed from a different perspective, such as teaching a child to make better judgement of people and situations in the first place. And the other children are an excuse. The problem lies with the son's choice to associate with those people who reinforce his desire to smoke pot. The friends are the result of his behavior, not the cause of his behavior. Not allowing them at his house may give the parent a false sense of control, but it it very much false.
And I am sure you will not make the same mistake with your own children. You seem to be a diligent person and I expect you will do your best to raise your children and teach them the things you were not taught. I am sure this father feels he is teaching his son a lesson about consequences involved with drugs. After all, if he grows up continuing to do drugs he may go to jail, or keep from getting a decent job (drug testing), etc. Maybe the father wants to influence his future decisions by taking the action he did.
No, Liebling did.
It’s not a “gift” until it’s given.
The father’s intention changed due to the poor behavior of his son.
And the only way that revoking the gift serves as apunishement is to first make clear that the intent is there and then revoke it. And, like I said before, if provided as the result of compliant behavior, and revoked for non-compliant behaviour, it is not a gift....it is a reward and a behavioral control technique. Which kind of skews the intention behind the gift, now doesn't it? The parent is offering the gift in the first place not out of love and willingness to give to the child, but out of an attempt gain something for himself....compliance from the child. That is called manipulation.
Okay, what the son did was WRONG. I see absolutely nothing
subjective in that.
Incorrect. "Wrong" is as much a subjective assessment as is "not right" as they both represent the same concept. And both are subjective and based on any number of variables. I hope that this “behavioral control method” was sufficient to end the bad behavior, but if not, I am sure the father will try other methods as well, including and probably not limited to, “teaching his son to make better judgments regarding people and situations”.
Incorrect. "Wrong" is as much a subjective assessment as is "not right" as they both represent the same concept. And both are subjective and based on any number of variables.And had the teaching come first, as it should have, the behavioral control techniques would not be necessary. It is much more successful to dothat which will prevent the behavior than to try to remediate it once it has already occurred.
All we know is a small portion of the overall story. Without more information on which to base our judgments, we are at best just guessing what the father has already done and what he may or may not do in the future.
And once again, I saw those words as SARCASM.
The identity of the boy and his father were never revealed, so I don’t see how that would affect the son’s self esteem.
Where do you get that??? I don’t see that implied at all.
For all we know, the dad may intend to use the $9100 for future rehab services for his son. *shrug*
Isn’t that exactly what you are doing when you assume that this is the only course of action this father is taking with regard to the situation?
I don’t think it really matters what any of us think, since we are not the ones in the situation and the son was not physically injured through this means of discipline. We all have different parenting styles and techniques and it is okay to differ from one another.
Good post, Berry!
Actually, there is a BIG difference here. The father did not steal anything, as it never belonged to the son. And, I doubt the father will use the proceeds for illegal purposes.
How can you be so certain?
Not a big differnce at all. The message is still conveyed that it is acceptable to convert what is intended for another for one's own profit and use.
Again, we do not know what further actions this father is taking, so let’s not make unsubstantiated assumptions.
) she was addict to drugs and she did not seek for help on her own, even pushed her own family away from her. Tell me why? Because she's already addicted to the drugs, drugs control the body and mind of the individual. This is why she was anger at the world, anger at loved ones, anger at oneself, anger at being an addict and having to get clean. So why wait? It won't help either the individual or the family. He'll get worse before he will get better, think about it, more social withdrawal, anixiety and depression, attention problems, and thoughts of suicide. I rest my case. 
