Change the future for a deaf child

[shel90]

I have an issue with that statement. I was mainstreamed, and didn't learn sign language till I was 18. I was shocked at the rejection I received from some deaf people, who actually refused to speak to me and called me "hearie" with a look of disgust on their faces. These are the people who are the freaks, not people like me.

Hence Flip's point...not that I agree with the treatment that mainstreamed deaf get from Deaf people but that's the point flip was making. I went thru the same thing u did.

 

[Nika]

you're right. it could be anything from depression to ptsd and one cannot know that unless they are properly evaluated by a professional.

That's what I kept telling her. Seek professional help, get properly diagnosed.

 

[flip]

I have an issue with that statement. I was mainstreamed, and didn't learn sign language till I was 18. I was shocked at the rejection I received from some deaf people, who actually refused to speak to me and called me "hearie" with a look of disgust on their faces. These are the people who are the freaks, not people like me.

This is what I am talking about. I am sorry you was rejected, and hope you have sorted this out or will. This is a cultural crash, where those who don't understand or are able to build bridges, label the others as freaks. Most people don't expect deaf people to have their own culture, so no wonder many people don't understand why they are rejected or why deaf people behave so "weird".

 

[flip]

Hence Flip's point...not that I agree with the treatment that mainstreamed deaf get from Deaf people but that's the point flip was making. I went thru the same thing u did.

I don't threat people like freaks, I love freaks. But newcomers to the deaf world can be tiresome, and they perhaps feels like they are rejected. I don't work as social worker, but I make it clear that they are welcome and try to include whenever I can. I am happy you managed to get thru it, and enjoy the fruit of ASL today

I hope mainstreamed children today will survive the rejection of some deaf people, all societies have this kind of people, and build a self esteem that works in the deaf community. What's not true is that deaf people are hurt by successful mainstream children. Most deaf people I met are concerned by the massive numbers of "failures" that we have to cope with today and in the future. That's what I am trying to say!

 

[flip]

"mentally retarded" is an old, outdated term that was replaced a long time ago by the word "cognitively impaired."

Ok, will try to remember that It makes more sense, too.

 

[Hear Again]

Ok, will try to remember that It makes more sense, too.

thank you.

 

[Hear Again]

That's what I kept telling her. Seek professional help, get properly diagnosed.

that's frustrating when that happens. i know someone in my neighborhood who thinks he has bipolar. he's always asking me whether he does or not and i keep telling him that i can only speculate. every time i ask him to go see a psychiatrist, he says he will, but never does. oh well.

 

[faire_jour]

Ok, typed a bit fast.

Let me explain:

Alcholic parents get a mentally retarded deaf child.

They want to do their best, and gives the child bilateral CI, like most other up and going parents do. Why deny the child anything that can help?

The child don't develop well. The support from the kind AVT therapist continues, and they do what seems logical and best. They put the child in a mainstream program. The child grunts and shit in the pants all the day.

Teachers give up, and tell parents to put the child in a state deaf school or institution for multi handicapped people. The child are taken out of mainstream and gets some sign language, stop grunting and start to go to bathroom, develops at a incredible pace, but will have to live with consquences of language deprivation for the rest of the life.

It's lots of similar stories out there, ranging from extreme to less extreme, and they prove that it's doesn't make sense to claim that "parents allways do what's best for their child".

Freaks: Mainstreamed deaf people who have a hard time to fit into the deaf community.

I have a lot of problems with this post.
1.I doubt many alcoholic parents have the follow through to get their child bilateral implants
2. AVT therapists wouldn't recommend a mainstream placement for a child with no language (at least none of the ones I've ever spoken to)
3. Why would this child not be able to be potty trained? For dramatic affect?
4. The vast majority of Deaf community members were mainstreamed. (I think the rate is about 80+%), so how are they freaks? It's most of the community.

 

[Hear Again]

my apologies for the off-topic post.

 

[Daredevel7]

Most people don't have contact with the Deaf community. Their ideas about deafness are based on articles like this.

Most people don't have contact with the Deaf community, you're right. HOWEVER, I would say a lot, if not most, people have had contact with at least ONE deaf person or know of one deaf person in their life. That very person they have met will set their image of deaf people. Here is the problem, most people are "impressed" by me as a deaf person, so ya know what? Just by being me, I inadvertandly put a lot of pressure on other deaf people to be able to lipread and speak well enough to communicate with most people. Same thing with a deafblind being able to do a lot of things, does this mean MOST deaf-blind people also do this? Also, who is more likely to meet more hearing people, a person like me who has very little d/Deaf friends or someone who is very involved in the Deaf community?

My point is it's impossible to educate the hearing people because if I say "Oh, you didn't think deaf people could speak? Of course they can!", then I just put down those who do not have good oral skills. Or if a deafblind says "Oh you didn't think we can ___, of course we can!", what if there ARE other deafblind people who can't do____?

 

[Nika]

I call that Spokesperson Syndrome. Where people will take the characteristics of one person in a minority and apply it to the whole minority. Oh, this one Deaf person can speak, so all Deaf people must be able to speak. Oh, this one black person was offended by said joke. So all black people will find it offensive. Etc.

 

[shel90]

I call that Spokesperson Syndrome. Where people will take the characteristics of one person in a minority and apply it to the whole minority. Oh, this one Deaf person can speak, so all Deaf people must be able to speak. Oh, this one black person was offended by said joke. So all black people will find it offensive. Etc.

I agree...many people compared my brother to me...they always criticized him for not being able to "speak" like I could. I am sure that made him feel like crap but now he doesnt give a damn and tells people to f*** off when they say that.

 

[deafskeptic]

We know what you're thinking. "How do I join?", right?
Maybe, "I'm not sure that I'll qualify." or "I never made good grades in school."
The truth of the matter is that, in the U.S. alone, more than six million people qualify for membership — that's really one person in every 50. Most don't realize that they qualify and haven't considered membership. You've at least considered membership, or you wouldn't be reading this now.

So how do you join? It's easy. You can become a member of American Mensa in one of two ways:

If you're age 14 or older, you can take a supervised, standardized test in your area with one of our certified member volunteers.

And anyone can submit evidence of prior testing in the form of scores from a supervised, standardized test like the Stanford Binet, the Miller Analogies Test or the GMAT.

No doubt, several people on this board qualify.

I don't think I qualify though it'd be cool to be a Mensa member.

 

[Daredevel7]

Exactly, so what exactly is this "educating" people? Are we educating them that just because we are deaf/disabled/whatever doesn't mean we can't do many things (high pressure)? Or what? Hear Again is probably stating high standards of the deafblind by saying that she can do many things. Shel and I am doing the same thing to the deaf by simply speaking. Shel has mentioned in another post that she didn't want to speak because of the "Hey if she can speak, why can't s/he"? Are we supposed to say "Oh sorry, Im actually a freak/just lucky?"

I'd like to add that I dont mean that only deaf people who speak well have high standards. That's just what is perceived to be. It's just a characteristic of the deaf that not everyone can achieve.

 

[deafskeptic]

no offense, but how someone who claims to be a mensa member deliberately chooses to accept negative stereotypes about their deaf child in order to receive a second ci (or anything else) is beyond me. i don't see that as a sign of intelligence. i see it as a sign of ignorance.

Many people who pride themselves on being "educated" but are unwilling to learn new stuff that counter what they've learned will become ignorant in time. To me, intelligence is not worth much unless you're willing to open your mind to new ideas even from people who are not as intelligent.

 

[deafskeptic]

Another thing they failed to recognize is that the two brain hemispheres are connected. Their claim that she can only process auditory information with one side of her brain, would be applicable if she had the two hemispheres separated. But she doesn't. So claiming she can only process sound with one side of her brain makes no sense at all, and just sounds like an excuse to help poor Hannah to socialize.

Her young brain already does that.

Exactly. I'm a prime example - I have not worn a hearing aid or a cochlear speech processor over my right ear since I was 14 and that was 28 years ago. Even before I stopped wearing my right ear HA, it never helped me as much.

You'd think that I'd never have good English skills since only my left ear got benefit from my hearing aids. I'm one of those rare people who can do just as well with Art or English.

 

[Hear Again]

Many people who pride themselves on being "educated" but are unwilling to learn new stuff that counter what they've learned will become ignorant in time. To me, intelligence is not worth much unless you're willing to open your mind to new ideas even from people who are not as intelligent.

exactly -- which is part of the reason why i refuse to join mensa.

 

[Hear Again]

Exactly, so what exactly is this "educating" people? Are we educating them that just because we are deaf/disabled/whatever doesn't mean we can't do many things (high pressure)? Or what? Hear Again is probably stating high standards of the deafblind by saying that she can do many things. Shel and I am doing the same thing to the deaf by simply speaking. Shel has mentioned in another post that she didn't want to speak because of the "Hey if she can speak, why can't s/he"? Are we supposed to say "Oh sorry, Im actually a freak/just lucky?"

I'd like to add that I dont mean that only deaf people who speak well have high standards. That's just what is perceived to be. It's just a characteristic of the deaf that not everyone can achieve.

being able to practice good hygeine, dress myself, cook, clean and go to school are not what i would consider high standards for a deafblind person. those are things any deafblind person should be able to do provided that they do not have a serious mental illness (like schizophrenia) or cognitive disability.

because of my severe bipolar and rapid cycling, i'm finding it increasingly difficult to attend university.

fortunately, i only have 3 more courses to take before graduation, but i can tell you this: if i had experienced severe bipolar to the extent that i do now when i was a freshman, completing my studies would have been impossible and i in *no* way would have expected any other deafblind person with similar challenges to do the same.

 

[Daredevel7]

being able to practice good hygeine, dress myself, cook, clean and go to school are not what i would consider high standards for a deafblind person. those are things any deafblind person should be able to do provided that they do not have a serious mental illness (like schizophrenia) or cognitive disability.

Are you so sure that any deafbind (without any other problem) would be able to "practice good hygeine, dress myself, cook, clean and go to school"? I'm not saying that they can't but obviously you think there is some sort of invisible average standard that the deafblind can live up to. The problem is, that "average standard" is different from others. For me, I expect any deaf adult to be able to communicate with most people in his/her every life (not necessarily spoken) and to be able to live on his/her own. However, perhaps this is placing high standard to others?

I'm just saying that it seems that no matter what I do on "educating others" it seems more of a lose-lose situation. If I say that any deaf person can be me, that's putting pressure on others. If I say that I am special and am not a typical deaf person, that's like bragging which I HATE to do and enforcing others to have lower expectations of deaf people?

 

[flip]

I have a lot of problems with this post.
1.I doubt many alcoholic parents have the follow through to get their child bilateral implants
2. AVT therapists wouldn't recommend a mainstream placement for a child with no language (at least none of the ones I've ever spoken to)
3. Why would this child not be able to be potty trained? For dramatic affect?
4. The vast majority of Deaf community members were mainstreamed. (I think the rate is about 80+%), so how are they freaks? It's most of the community.

1. I have seen this. Are you trying to say I make this up? It takes no effort to get two implants in most rich countries. It's perhaps a little harder in the US with the healt care over there, but easy many places in europe.

2. I know enough AVT therapists to know they are different, and have different views, but do you?

3. The child started to go to bathroom, and behave less as an animal after introduced to sign language(full human communication). It's interesting to see how lack of real communication affects the physics of children.

4. If all those 80 percent mainstreamed deaf people are to be considered members of the deaf community, I can tell you that many of them sure are living on the edge of the community, never really making it into the centre. I wish this not was the case, but it's.