Change the future for a deaf child

[naisho]

I think we just have differant interpretations of normality. I don't seeing being 'differant' or 'disabled' as something to be ashamed of. I know other disabled people want to think of themselves as normal but it doesn't bother me as I see 'normality' as a state that I have very little interest in.

I think people should have a right to be differant if they want to.

To me a desire to be normal is just conforming to societies norms. I don't wish to do that. Since I was born and grew up with several minor disabilities I've had normality rammed down my throat. So now I want to be differant.

Yep, I see what you mean.
The way I was describing "normality" was more of a textbook sociological context, in which it's documented and mass produced for everyone who studied it learned it.

For example, it's obvious to the people who get contacts or glasses, spectacles, monacles whatever else you want to name for an assisting visual device. By societal norms, they would still be considered "normal" due to it being widely accepted. Logically speaking, you get magnification because you can't see well due to a physical drawback.
-The same goes for any CI or HA user. You get an assisting hearing device because you cannot hear well due to a physical drawback.
-The same goes for any braille user. You use braille because you cannot see due to a physical drawback.
-The same goes for complete deaf and/or mute people. You use a communication form/ASL because you cannot speak or hear due to a physical drawback.

They're all exactly related, as in an impairment of a human sense so they find alternatives. Just society defines normality in the way people perceive it to be.

 

[jillio]

Yep, I see what you mean.
The way I was describing "normality" was more of a textbook sociological context, in which it's documented and mass produced for everyone who studied it learned it.

For example, it's obvious to the people who get contacts or glasses. By societal norms, they would still be considered "normal" due to it being widely accepted. Logically speaking, you get magnification because you can't see well due to a physical drawback.
-The same goes for any CI or HA user. You get an assisting hearing device because you cannot hear well due to a physical drawback.
-The same goes for any braille user. You use braille because you cannot see due to a physical drawback.
-The same goes for complete deaf and/or mute people. You use a communication form/ASL because you cannot speak or hear due to a physical drawback.

They're all exactly related, as in an impairment of a human sense so they find alternatives. Just society defines normality in the way people perceive it to be.

Unfortunately, we have fallen into the trap of defining "normal" based on the norms of the majority, rather than as the subjective definition that the situation requires.

 

[shel90]

Yep, I see what you mean.
The way I was describing "normality" was more of a textbook sociological context, in which it's documented and mass produced for everyone who studied it learned it.

For example, it's obvious to the people who get contacts or glasses, spectacles, monacles whatever else you want to name for an assisting visual device. By societal norms, they would still be considered "normal" due to it being widely accepted. Logically speaking, you get magnification because you can't see well due to a physical drawback.
-The same goes for any CI or HA user. You get an assisting hearing device because you cannot hear well due to a physical drawback.
-The same goes for any braille user. You use braille because you cannot see due to a physical drawback.
-The same goes for complete deaf and/or mute people. You use a communication form/ASL because you cannot speak or hear due to a physical drawback.

They're all exactly related, as in an impairment of a human sense so they find alternatives. Just society defines normality in the way people perceive it to be.

This article stated nothing about what's normal or not normal. It was about a deaf child's ability to be a fully functional adult and the underlying message was that deaf people who do not get implants won't become fully functional adults and that's a very very negative stereotype.

 

[naisho]

This article stated nothing about what's normal or not normal. It was about a deaf child's ability to be a fully functional adult and the underlying message was that deaf people who do not get implants won't become fully functional adults and that's a very very negative stereotype.

Oh yeah, I wasn't clear and I meant that my last two responses were directed towards dreama in discussing to her perceptions about norms and normal.

Sorry if anyone else caught wind of my "what the hell is naisho talking about" thing.

Continue.

 

[Berry]

Okay, I have thought about this before, but never saw an appropriate place to mention it, and I am not much on starting threads.


I don't watch TV often, have other things to do. But a while back an ad was running for a hearing aid center (Sorry, don't remember the name - but it was local) that sounded very much like the original article in this thread. The emotional impact of the message was pretty much...

"You need to have your child's hearing checked. (pic of happy kid in chair getting ears checked) Poor hearing results in poor grades, (pic of kid unhappy at a school desk) poor social life, (pic of kid sitting alone in a swing) and a limited future. But fortunately we at _______ Hearing aid center can save the day." (pic of happy young person going to college).

I do realize they are not "trying" to be insulting - They are just trying to get more business. And if the child has a mild hearing loss what they are saying might even be mostly true. Most hearing parents would see the ad as harmless.

But what is implied, whether they mean it or not, whether hearing parents realize it or not, from Deaf perspective it is at best callous.

So the question becomes:

What can be done about ads such as this?

Who is in the best position to do it?

If I were Deaf I would take a terp and go knock on doors, but I am not, and I do not see advocacy as enabling.

 

[Hear Again]

berry,

unfortunately, there's nothing we can do about it. we can't stop freedom of speech.

 

[dreama]

Naisho: I know what you are saying and I would actually agree. Things like glasses, hearing aids, assistive tecnology etc... doesn't make a person differant.

In a world where nearly everyone was blind a blind person would be normal but a sighted person might be seen as a freak.
In a world where everyone was Deaf and used sign language as a means of communication, Deafness would be normal and hearing people who reacted to the noises around them would be considered abnormal.
In a world where most people could fly, someone who could only walk would feel inferior and abnormal wheras of course in this world nobody can fly.

I see Normality as just a desired state of being based on what the majority are. I'm not just talking about disability here. I am also bisexual in a world where most people are straight. So being bisexual makes me differant.

Some disabled want to be normal so they dream of cures that probably won't happen in their lifetime.

Other disabled say they are Normal as they are. They define their ability to fully function in today's society as a proof of normality which is great for them but some people are too severely disabled to really lead any sort of normal lifestyle but their life has MEANING for them. Even though they may never get work, marry, run their own home etc... but that doesn't mean they cannot live a fullfilling life that is differant from other people's. I used to work with people like that at a day centre once when I had a voluntary job as a masseur. I knew people with really profound learning difficulties who would Never lead anything resembling normal lives but some of them were happy sweet natured people who seemed to enjoy life since they were at the stage where even simple things would make them happy.

As a disabled and bisexual person I see NOTHING wrong with being differant, I'm just not interested in a normal hearing sighted neurotypical hetrosexual lifestyle. I'm happy to be differant. I'm happy to be me.

 

[Berry]

I'm happy to be differant. I'm happy to be me.

.

You have the best that life has to offer.

 

[flip]

What?? Who is mentally retarded? Who is an alcoholic? Who is a freak? And what are you talking about?

Ok, typed a bit fast.

Let me explain:

Alcholic parents get a mentally retarded deaf child.

They want to do their best, and gives the child bilateral CI, like most other up and going parents do. Why deny the child anything that can help?

The child don't develop well. The support from the kind AVT therapist continues, and they do what seems logical and best. They put the child in a mainstream program. The child grunts and shit in the pants all the day.

Teachers give up, and tell parents to put the child in a state deaf school or institution for multi handicapped people. The child are taken out of mainstream and gets some sign language, stop grunting and start to go to bathroom, develops at a incredible pace, but will have to live with consquences of language deprivation for the rest of the life.

It's lots of similar stories out there, ranging from extreme to less extreme, and they prove that it's doesn't make sense to claim that "parents allways do what's best for their child".

Freaks: Mainstreamed deaf people who have a hard time to fit into the deaf community.

 

[flyingace]

Ok, typed a bit fast.

Freaks: Mainstreamed deaf people who have a hard time to fit into the deaf community.

I have an issue with that statement. I was mainstreamed, and didn't learn sign language till I was 18. I was shocked at the rejection I received from some deaf people, who actually refused to speak to me and called me "hearie" with a look of disgust on their faces. These are the people who are the freaks, not people like me.

 

[Nika]

to be honest, sometimes i get tired of educating people and sometimes it isn't worth the effort to educate only one person -- especially since the majority will still believe what they want to believe.

don't get me wrong. i believe in educating the public (i educate them every day about my deafblindness and bipolar), but sometimes it does get emotionally exhausting.

I couldn't agree more! It gets really old really fast constantly having to educate people and bring awareness. Sometimes I just want to go about my day and be left alone. And I agree with you that most people will believe what they want to believe. A friend of mine says, "People believe what they want to believe, so it's your word against their thoughts."

 

[Nika]

Trying to educate the public... IMPOSSIBLE.

Bob has assumptions that most deaf people could only sign.
Bob meets deaf person #1, learns that he can speak well.
Bob meets deaf person #2, learns that not every deaf person can speak.
Bob meets deaf person #3, learns that Deaf culture can be narrow minded.
Bob meets deaf person #4, learns that Deaf culture can be a stereotype.
Bob meets deaf person #5, learns that CI can help deaf people.
Bob meets deaf person #6, learns that not everyone can hear perfectly well with CI.

Bob's conclusions: He has no conclusion about deaf people, because they ALL ARE DIFFERENT!!!!!

Most people don't have contact with the Deaf community. Their ideas about deafness are based on articles like this.

 

[Nika]

i still believe in trying to educate the public.

for instance, there have been people i've met who have had severe misconceptions about what it means to have bipolar and believe it or not, whenever i've shared my experiences and told them how different it is from their stereotypical views, many of them walk away with a better misunderstanding of what the illness really is.

Exactly. I spent the day with a friend yesterday who on about six occasions declared someone bipolar. "I think he's bipolar. I think she's bipolar." I asked her if she even knew what bipolar disorder was. I myself didn't know much about it (and still don't) but I have learned about it from you Hear Again, enough to know that she shouldn't be going around declaring all her friends bipolar, and that from her descriptions of her friends' behavior, it definitely seemed like something other than bipolar disorder.

 

[Hear Again]

Exactly. I spent the day with a friend yesterday who on about six occasions declared someone bipolar. "I think he's bipolar. I think she's bipolar." I asked her if she even knew what bipolar disorder was. I myself didn't know much about it (and still don't) but I have learned about it from you Hear Again, enough to know that she shouldn't be going around declaring all her friends bipolar, and that from her descriptions of her friends' behavior, it definitely seemed like something other than bipolar disorder.

that's exactly one of the problems i run into with the general public and why i share my experiences. too many people call someone bipolar just because they become angry easily, but what they oftentimes forget is that a person must also experience mania (i.e. extreme happiness, high energy levels, restlessness, depression, etc.) as well.

the same is true when it comes to deafness or blindness. just the other day i was talking to a nurse at my physical therapy session who thought that one had to be completely deaf to receive a ci. i told her that wasn't true and explained my situation.

 

[Hear Again]

I couldn't agree more! It gets really old really fast constantly having to educate people and bring awareness. Sometimes I just want to go about my day and be left alone. And I agree with you that most people will believe what they want to believe. A friend of mine says, "People believe what they want to believe, so it's your word against their thoughts."

exactly.

 

[Hear Again]

Ok, typed a bit fast.

Let me explain:

Alcholic parents get a mentally retarded deaf child.

They want to do their best, and gives the child bilateral CI, like most other up and going parents do. Why deny the child anything that can help?

The child don't develop well. The support from the kind AVT therapist continues, and they do what seems logical and best. They put the child in a mainstream program. The child grunts and shit in the pants all the day.

Teachers give up, and tell parents to put the child in a state deaf school or institution for multi handicapped people. The child are taken out of mainstream and gets some sign language, stop grunting and start to go to bathroom, develops at a incredible pace, but will have to live with consquences of language deprivation for the rest of the life.

It's lots of similar stories out there, ranging from extreme to less extreme, and they prove that it's doesn't make sense to claim that "parents allways do what's best for their child".

Freaks: Mainstreamed deaf people who have a hard time to fit into the deaf community.

"mentally retarded" is an old, outdated term that was replaced a long time ago by the word "cognitively impaired."

 

[Hear Again]

I have an issue with that statement. I was mainstreamed, and didn't learn sign language till I was 18. I was shocked at the rejection I received from some deaf people, who actually refused to speak to me and called me "hearie" with a look of disgust on their faces. These are the people who are the freaks, not people like me.

exactly.

i've also seen instances where a few Deaf people signed "hearing-think" to someone just because they did not know asl or didn't attend a residential school for the deaf.

we're not "hearies" nor are we "freaks."

 

[Nika]

that's exactly one of the problems i run into with the general public and why i share my experiences. too many people call someone bipolar just because they become angry easily, but what they oftentimes forget is that a person must also experience mania (i.e. extreme happiness, high energy levels, restlessness, depression, etc.) as well.

That's exactly what I asked her. "Does that person have any symptoms of mania?" She was caught off-guard. Plus a lot of people have a mood disorder but it doesn't necessarily mean they're bipolar.

 

[Hear Again]

That's exactly what I asked her. "Does that person have any symptoms of mania?" She was caught off-guard. Plus a lot of people have a mood disorder but it doesn't necessarily mean they're bipolar.

you're right. it could be anything from depression to ptsd and one cannot know that unless they are properly evaluated by a professional.

 

[jillio]

Okay, I have thought about this before, but never saw an appropriate place to mention it, and I am not much on starting threads.


I don't watch TV often, have other things to do. But a while back an ad was running for a hearing aid center (Sorry, don't remember the name - but it was local) that sounded very much like the original article in this thread. The emotional impact of the message was pretty much...

"You need to have your child's hearing checked. (pic of happy kid in chair getting ears checked) Poor hearing results in poor grades, (pic of kid unhappy at a school desk) poor social life, (pic of kid sitting alone in a swing) and a limited future. But fortunately we at _______ Hearing aid center can save the day." (pic of happy young person going to college).

I do realize they are not "trying" to be insulting - They are just trying to get more business. And if the child has a mild hearing loss what they are saying might even be mostly true. Most hearing parents would see the ad as harmless.

But what is implied, whether they mean it or not, whether hearing parents realize it or not, from Deaf perspective it is at best callous.

So the question becomes:

What can be done about ads such as this?

Who is in the best position to do it?

If I were Deaf I would take a terp and go knock on doors, but I am not, and I do not see advocacy as enabling.

Why is it that you do not see advocacy as enabling?