CrazymanWoot and Reba......Sigh. We understand that you see abortion as evil. Virtually NOBODY likes abortion....all we pro-choicers are saying is that it's a nessary evil! Yes, there are some idiots who abuse the system, but if you don't like abortion.....DON"T HAVE ONE!!!! Support insurance covering birth control and the over the counter sales of the morning after pill....support universal health care (many of the people who get pregnant are the people who do not have insurance coverage and so cannot afford really good birth control) Support good welfare programs....support higher wages for women so they don't have to make such a painful choice!
Can you bear the truth?
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Good post!
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First, I want to say that I am very sorry about your experience, and I thank you for sharing it with us at AD.DreamDeaf said:
From your posting, you didn't have an abortion that killed the baby because the baby was already dead. Nothing that you did harmed the baby while it was alive. You had a medically necessary procedure as a result of the baby's death, not the cause.
I don't support anyone physically attacking women at clinics. That was wrong.
I do care about the babies AND the moms. Abortion is a tragedy for all people involved. As you and Cheri, and many other women, have testified, it is a terrible experience. That is why I support limiting abortion to only those women who truly have a serious medical necessity.
Crazymanw00t
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Cheri said:
Can you bring all the question into one post. So I can answer it all in one straight post.
PrincessTabu
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One thing I never understood, is how the same people who can be so adamant against abortion; are the very same people who strongly support capital punishment, the murder of 100,000 Iraqi citizens, etc...
I have not personally had to face this choice, but I lost a baby full-term, and when I became pregnant again I knew I may have to. One of the women in a support group had already lost 2 babies, and her 3rd pregnancy she found out her baby wouldn't live. She scheduled an abortion, and the night before she had it she got constant harassment calls from pro-life people, accusing her of killing her baby, etc...
I'm amazed at how cruel and judgmental some people can be. Cheri, I hope you know that you are supported, despite some of the cruel things Crazyman has said to you in the name of "HIS" truth. He's misguided, and tho I'm sure you know that, it's still hard emotionally when someone is so insensitive.
I have not personally had to face this choice, but I lost a baby full-term, and when I became pregnant again I knew I may have to. One of the women in a support group had already lost 2 babies, and her 3rd pregnancy she found out her baby wouldn't live. She scheduled an abortion, and the night before she had it she got constant harassment calls from pro-life people, accusing her of killing her baby, etc...
I'm amazed at how cruel and judgmental some people can be. Cheri, I hope you know that you are supported, despite some of the cruel things Crazyman has said to you in the name of "HIS" truth. He's misguided, and tho I'm sure you know that, it's still hard emotionally when someone is so insensitive.
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Yes, babies are born with a sin nature that they inherit from their fathers.Crazymanw00t said:
No, babies do not go to hell. They have a sin nature, but they are too young to actually commit any sins. The blood of Jesus covers the guilt of their sin nature. Therefore they are justified in the eyes of God, and can enter Heaven.
Even King David understood this. David's sin with Bathsheba resulted in the birth of a baby. That baby died. David said, "But now he (the baby) is dead, should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me." (II Samuel 12:23)
David trusted the Lord for salvation, so David knew that he himself would go to Heaven when he died. David knew that his baby son also would be waiting for him there ("...I shall go to him..."). David did not mourn after his son's death because he knew the baby was at peace in Heaven.
Sighhhh, Reba, in my opinion and belief, when you start a debate with a false "conclusion" like that, you make dialogue impossible, because you leave no room whatsoever for people of different faiths to share in it. The only thing you do in that situation is offend them, which you seem to revel in.
What IS it with you????
What IS it with you????
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How does an abortion terminate a pregnancy? By killing the baby. You can't escape the fact that the baby dies.Beowulf said:
Just to set the record straight, that was not my post.
Just to keep the record straight, I have never "condemned" any woman for having an abortion. God can forgive and restore peace to those who seek it thru repentance and salvation thru Jesus. I pray for their restoration, not condemnation.
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Roe v. Wade was a Supreme Court decision, not a law. It cannot be repealed because it was never a law. Decisions can only be overturned by the Court.DreamDeaf said:
Medically necessary abortions were legally available prior to Roe v. Wade. The Roe v. Wade decision allowed abortions for non-medical reasons.
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Excuse me, I am :topic:Magatsu said:
Just to be clear:
No one in the Bible ever stated that the sun revolved around the earth.
No one in the Bible ever stated that the earth was flat.
An earth-centered model of the universe seems first to have been formalized by Ptolemy, the famous Greek astronomer who lived in Alexandria around A.D. 130.
Crazymanw00t
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Reba said:
Yeah I am looking over for that verse. I need to study on those verses. I believe if they were Christian and then the unborn will be in heaven. If they were not Christian then the unborn isnt at heaven. I don't know if I am right because of the verses from Gensis 2,3 and Psalm 51,58 and Romans 3,5 ("We all are sinners").
Crazymanw00t
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Cheri said:
Oh yea. with #50
Let me make the picture for you.
You are the mother.
You are Pregant.
You are sinners.
Your child receives the sin from you (mother). Even they haven't born.
Therefore the child is sinners because of mother that the mother carried out the sin to child at the womb.
That was my point.
Now with my new research about a family that is Christian and have abortion. I believe it going to be other hot debate.
with #51
I read and I couldn't find the quote that you stated. Can you photoshop and cricle it out for me. Or tell me on which paragraph.
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The both side story between East and West Germans. There're an abortion legal in East Germany only.
East Germany:
Fake interview with a woman living in the GDR during the 1970s
Tell me a little bit about yourself.
I’m 30 years-old, and I’ve lived in East Berlin my whole life. I’ve been married to my husband, Joseph, for a little over ten years. I have two children. My daughter Heidi is ten and my son Hans is seven. I work in a garment factory that makes dresses and uniforms, and my husband works in a factory that produces automobile parts.
Where were you born? Describe your life as a young girl.
I was born in 1947 in East Berlin. Both of my parents worked in factories, and we lived in the factory housing. My father worked in a factory that produced furniture, and my mother worked in the same factory I work in now. I have two siblings, a younger brother and an older sister. I never liked school that much, and my parents didn’t ever really stress the importance of getting good grades. I think it’s because in their minds, they knew I would not go on to receive a certificate to study in University. It was always just assumed that I would start working in the factory with my mother when I finished high school, which is exactly what happened. The one thing I did like about school was art classes. We used to draw and paint - nothing too serious. But, I always loved it! I used to wish I could go to University to study art and become a famous painter. When I started working at the factory, I really hated it. I thought the work was boring and tedious. I wanted to do something different, something more interesting and special. At least I really liked the other women who worked there. There were women of all different ages (a lot were around my age, but some were much older). I used to go out with some of the girls from work when we finished our shifts. I dated here and there, but nothing serious, at least not until I met Joseph.
How did you meet your Husband?
I met Joseph when I was 21. He was 23. He already had his job at the car parts factory. I met him through one of my girlfriends from work. He was a friend of her cousins. One night we all went out for drinks after work. We had an immediate connection and were very drawn to each other (both physically and emotionally). We started dating. It got serious really fast, and after about six months, I got pregnant. Although I was no longer a child, I was not prepared to be a mother. We should have been more careful, but at that time we still didn’t know very much about different birth control methods. Now we have access to more information. Plus, now we have abortion. After I found out I was pregnant, we decided to get married (which seemed appropriate since we were talking about marriage anyway). Getting married made sense, because we were both ready to move out of our parents’ houses where we were still living. We moved into one of the factory apartments. We were really happy together, and even though we were nervous, we were thrilled when our daughter Heidi was born.
What was it like after your daughter was born?
I took my paid leave from the factory, so I could take care of the baby. I used to take her for walks and paint (I painted many pictures of her) and made nice dinners for Joseph and me. When it was time for me to go back to work, I took Heidi with me and she spent the day in the factory daycare. Returning to work was really hard. From the time I woke up in the morning to the time I went to bed at night, I was always on-the-go. By the time I got home from work, I felt ready to collapse, but instead, I had to take care of Heidi, do housework and fix dinner. When Joseph got home he usually liked to watch T.V. while I made us dinner. After I put Heidi to bed, Joseph and I would finally get some time alone. We’d usually read, or watch T.V., or drink some wine and talk. Nighttime was nice because it was our time together with no interruptions. Every now and then we’d get to go out, just the two of us, and we’d leave Heidi with a babysitter. On the weekends we’d try and do at least one afternoon of designated family time. We’d have some outing --like go to the park, the movies, museums, or concerts. Sometimes on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, Joseph would take care of Heidi so I could go have a drink or get coffee with a friend from the factory. He was great with her. He’d take her to the playground and play ball with her. I could already tell she was going to be a real athlete. We had this routine for about 2 years. Then I found out I was pregnant again.
How was it when you found out you were pregnant again?
Well, I wasn’t exactly happy. Sure, I thought maybe some day we’d have another baby, but not yet. When I was a girl I always envisioned myself having lots of children. But, things change when you’re older and you’re actually faced with the reality of having to put the food on the table. You’re trying to be the best mother to your child, earn an income, take care of the house, and keep up some semblance of romance in your life. It’s a lot. Anyway, at that time abortion still wasn’t legally an option, and, besides, Joseph really wanted to have the baby. Our son Hans was born. I was happy, of course, and I loved him more than anything. Now that I have him I can’t imagine my life without him. But, with that said, would my life be easier if I hadn’t gotten pregnant a second time? Probably. Do I wish for a second that I hadn’t had him? Not at all.
So, what’s your life like now? How do you spend most of your time?
When I’m not fixing dinner, or cleaning, or working, or taking care of the kids, I’m either trying to get in time with my husband, or I’m trying to catch a moment by myself. That’s one thing that I miss - time to myself – to do whatever, paint, read, whatever. I’ll still manage to sneak in little things here or there. Like while Joseph is playing with the kids, I’ll sit and draw in my notepad and listen to music. You have to make time to do things like that, because otherwise you’ll go crazy.
What about your marriage? What’s your relationship like with your husband? What’s your relationship like with your children?
By the time we get to be alone together, I’m so tired that all I have the energy to do is watch T.V. or go to bed. Sometimes I resent him, because he just has to work, but I have to do everything. I’ll make little comments to him here or there, and we’ll get into little arguments. But for the most part we get along. I don’t want to paint an entirely negative picture. It’s not as if my marriage is completely lacking of any affection or romance, or that my life is void of any happiness -- on the contrary. I love my husband and I adore my children and I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. I’m extremely proud of my kids. Both of them are really talented. They’re both artistic – just like I always was – and both of them are strong athletes. (They take after their dad in that respect) Joseph and I are always encouraging them to keep playing sports in school. They both have a lot of potential! We still try to do family time on the weekend. On special occasions, Joseph and I will get a babysitter and treat ourselves to a night out. He still does little things – like surprise me with flowers every now or then, or take me out to dinner.
Are you happy with how things are in your life? Do you ever imagine anything different for yourself?
When I was a little girl, I pictured myself meeting a man and we would fall madly in love. He’d have a good job (a doctor or businessman). We’d have three children and I could take care of them and have a job painting. Once I got a little older, I quickly realized that that was not going to be my life – I was on a different track. The part about falling in love with a handsome man and having children came true! Sometimes I fantasize about leaving and traveling the world and living in Paris and going to museums and painting. I dream of starting over and meeting a rich handsome man who will take me away and I will have a passionate love affair with him. No kids, no husband, no responsibilities. But that’s just a fantasy – something you’d see in a movie and think, ‘wouldn’t that be fun!’ I don’t really wish that. Even if my life isn’t how I’d imagined it would be, or wish it could be, I love my husband and my kids, which keeps me grounded in reality. Besides, we all have responsibilities.
Cont.....
East Germany:
Fake interview with a woman living in the GDR during the 1970s
Tell me a little bit about yourself.
I’m 30 years-old, and I’ve lived in East Berlin my whole life. I’ve been married to my husband, Joseph, for a little over ten years. I have two children. My daughter Heidi is ten and my son Hans is seven. I work in a garment factory that makes dresses and uniforms, and my husband works in a factory that produces automobile parts.
Where were you born? Describe your life as a young girl.
I was born in 1947 in East Berlin. Both of my parents worked in factories, and we lived in the factory housing. My father worked in a factory that produced furniture, and my mother worked in the same factory I work in now. I have two siblings, a younger brother and an older sister. I never liked school that much, and my parents didn’t ever really stress the importance of getting good grades. I think it’s because in their minds, they knew I would not go on to receive a certificate to study in University. It was always just assumed that I would start working in the factory with my mother when I finished high school, which is exactly what happened. The one thing I did like about school was art classes. We used to draw and paint - nothing too serious. But, I always loved it! I used to wish I could go to University to study art and become a famous painter. When I started working at the factory, I really hated it. I thought the work was boring and tedious. I wanted to do something different, something more interesting and special. At least I really liked the other women who worked there. There were women of all different ages (a lot were around my age, but some were much older). I used to go out with some of the girls from work when we finished our shifts. I dated here and there, but nothing serious, at least not until I met Joseph.
How did you meet your Husband?
I met Joseph when I was 21. He was 23. He already had his job at the car parts factory. I met him through one of my girlfriends from work. He was a friend of her cousins. One night we all went out for drinks after work. We had an immediate connection and were very drawn to each other (both physically and emotionally). We started dating. It got serious really fast, and after about six months, I got pregnant. Although I was no longer a child, I was not prepared to be a mother. We should have been more careful, but at that time we still didn’t know very much about different birth control methods. Now we have access to more information. Plus, now we have abortion. After I found out I was pregnant, we decided to get married (which seemed appropriate since we were talking about marriage anyway). Getting married made sense, because we were both ready to move out of our parents’ houses where we were still living. We moved into one of the factory apartments. We were really happy together, and even though we were nervous, we were thrilled when our daughter Heidi was born.
What was it like after your daughter was born?
I took my paid leave from the factory, so I could take care of the baby. I used to take her for walks and paint (I painted many pictures of her) and made nice dinners for Joseph and me. When it was time for me to go back to work, I took Heidi with me and she spent the day in the factory daycare. Returning to work was really hard. From the time I woke up in the morning to the time I went to bed at night, I was always on-the-go. By the time I got home from work, I felt ready to collapse, but instead, I had to take care of Heidi, do housework and fix dinner. When Joseph got home he usually liked to watch T.V. while I made us dinner. After I put Heidi to bed, Joseph and I would finally get some time alone. We’d usually read, or watch T.V., or drink some wine and talk. Nighttime was nice because it was our time together with no interruptions. Every now and then we’d get to go out, just the two of us, and we’d leave Heidi with a babysitter. On the weekends we’d try and do at least one afternoon of designated family time. We’d have some outing --like go to the park, the movies, museums, or concerts. Sometimes on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, Joseph would take care of Heidi so I could go have a drink or get coffee with a friend from the factory. He was great with her. He’d take her to the playground and play ball with her. I could already tell she was going to be a real athlete. We had this routine for about 2 years. Then I found out I was pregnant again.
How was it when you found out you were pregnant again?
Well, I wasn’t exactly happy. Sure, I thought maybe some day we’d have another baby, but not yet. When I was a girl I always envisioned myself having lots of children. But, things change when you’re older and you’re actually faced with the reality of having to put the food on the table. You’re trying to be the best mother to your child, earn an income, take care of the house, and keep up some semblance of romance in your life. It’s a lot. Anyway, at that time abortion still wasn’t legally an option, and, besides, Joseph really wanted to have the baby. Our son Hans was born. I was happy, of course, and I loved him more than anything. Now that I have him I can’t imagine my life without him. But, with that said, would my life be easier if I hadn’t gotten pregnant a second time? Probably. Do I wish for a second that I hadn’t had him? Not at all.
So, what’s your life like now? How do you spend most of your time?
When I’m not fixing dinner, or cleaning, or working, or taking care of the kids, I’m either trying to get in time with my husband, or I’m trying to catch a moment by myself. That’s one thing that I miss - time to myself – to do whatever, paint, read, whatever. I’ll still manage to sneak in little things here or there. Like while Joseph is playing with the kids, I’ll sit and draw in my notepad and listen to music. You have to make time to do things like that, because otherwise you’ll go crazy.
What about your marriage? What’s your relationship like with your husband? What’s your relationship like with your children?
By the time we get to be alone together, I’m so tired that all I have the energy to do is watch T.V. or go to bed. Sometimes I resent him, because he just has to work, but I have to do everything. I’ll make little comments to him here or there, and we’ll get into little arguments. But for the most part we get along. I don’t want to paint an entirely negative picture. It’s not as if my marriage is completely lacking of any affection or romance, or that my life is void of any happiness -- on the contrary. I love my husband and I adore my children and I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world. I’m extremely proud of my kids. Both of them are really talented. They’re both artistic – just like I always was – and both of them are strong athletes. (They take after their dad in that respect) Joseph and I are always encouraging them to keep playing sports in school. They both have a lot of potential! We still try to do family time on the weekend. On special occasions, Joseph and I will get a babysitter and treat ourselves to a night out. He still does little things – like surprise me with flowers every now or then, or take me out to dinner.
Are you happy with how things are in your life? Do you ever imagine anything different for yourself?
When I was a little girl, I pictured myself meeting a man and we would fall madly in love. He’d have a good job (a doctor or businessman). We’d have three children and I could take care of them and have a job painting. Once I got a little older, I quickly realized that that was not going to be my life – I was on a different track. The part about falling in love with a handsome man and having children came true! Sometimes I fantasize about leaving and traveling the world and living in Paris and going to museums and painting. I dream of starting over and meeting a rich handsome man who will take me away and I will have a passionate love affair with him. No kids, no husband, no responsibilities. But that’s just a fantasy – something you’d see in a movie and think, ‘wouldn’t that be fun!’ I don’t really wish that. Even if my life isn’t how I’d imagined it would be, or wish it could be, I love my husband and my kids, which keeps me grounded in reality. Besides, we all have responsibilities.
Cont.....
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Cont....2
West Germany:
Fake Column in a Feminist Magazine
Mein Bauch Gehort Mir = (my tummy belongs to me)
I never used to think of myself as a feminist. I didn’t give much thought to social and political issues because they didn’t seem to affect my life. But two years ago, I had an experience that not only drastically changed my life, it dramatically altered my outlook on our society and the world at large.
Two years ago I had an abortion. I was thirty at the time, and I was on the brink of a divorce from my then husband Federick. When we married, I had a job working in a bank. But after I got pregnant with our daughter, Juliet, I gave up my job so that I could stay home and raise the baby. I was sad to leave up my job, but staying at work was never even a consideration. It was draining, taking care of the baby and doing all of the work at home. What made it even worse was that I felt that Federick didn’t appreciate anything I did. He ridiculed me for everything. We started arguing a lot. I would try to make things better by doing everything I could think of to please him. I prepared elaborate meals every night, I made sure the house was spotless; I was always attentive to his needs. But he never seemed to be attentive to my needs. I resented him for this. When he started “working late” every night, the fighting began to escalate. Finally, after about five months of constant fighting and arguing we agreed that it was best if we separated. Five days later, I found out I was pregnant. When I told Federick, rather than comforting me, he blamed me. He said things like, “why didn’t you use the pill, you should have taken birth control!” I didn’t know enough about the pill – in my mind it was only for younger women, single women, women who were promiscuous, not women who were married with a family. Now I know better. We both agreed that the best solution was for me to get an abortion. I was completely unprepared and ill-equipped to take on the financial and emotional responsibilities of having another baby. I already had my hands full with my first child, and I no longer had the support of my husband.
When I went to the doctor, he refused to grant me the right to an abortion. According to him, my situation did not comply with the “social grounds” amendment because I was not yet divorced. In his “professional opinion” it was in “my best interests as well as my children’s best interests to work things out with my husband.” I was so angry! How dare this man tell me what was in my best interests when he didn’t know the first thing about my life? And why was this only my responsibility – where was my husband in all of this? Federick moved out and I was left to handle the situation on my own. Completely alone, I turned to my close friend Margaret, a woman I knew from my old job at the bank. I had kept her up to date about my marital problems and confided in her that I was pregnant. She helped me find a man who performed abortions (someone who had given her cousin an abortion). I had heard stories of botched abortions and women bleeding to death. I was terrified something would go wrong. Frederick agreed to pay for it and look after Juliet while I had the procedure. The man who performed it was very matter-of-fact, and the procedure was not terribly painful. The physical aftermath wasn’t too bad, just some intense cramping and slight bleeding.
When it was over I felt relieved. But my feelings of anger lingered and transformed into feelings of depression and shame. I felt powerless, hopeless, and alone. Margaret insisted that I go with her to the women’s group whose meetings she regularly attended. Finally I succumbed to her relentless persistence. At the meetings I found women who shared stories and experiences similar to mine and to each others’. We talked, listened, laughed and cried. Through our conversations, we realized that we were not alone. After I started attending the meetings, my anger was no longer debilitating, it was empowering. We had all been victims of the patriarchal society in which we live. But through the support and the awareness that I gained from the women I have met, I vowed that I would no longer be a victim. That’s why I have committed my energy into fighting for my rights, my daughters’ rights, and the rights of every woman.
I urge all of you to do the same, and I encourage each of you to ask yourself if you or any woman that you know has ever felt belittled or mistreated by a man. How many women do you know who have been patronized by her physician or told by her doctor that something she was feeling was “just in her head?” How many women do you know who have had to sacrifice having a career because they don’t receive adequate childcare or paid leave, or because they have to fulfill their “domestic duties”? How many women do you know who have jobs but earn lower wages than their male counterparts? How many women do you know who have been sexually exploited or objectified? How many women do you know who have been a victim of violence or rape? How many women do you know who have been denied access to contraception or information about their bodies? How many women do you know who have needed an abortion but could not get one because abortions are not legal? How many women do you know who have opted to get an abortion illegally and, perhaps, unsafely? I know countless women, including myself, who have experienced many of these things.
Not until we have equal wages as men, full access to information about sex and birth control, the right to safe and legal abortion, and, above all, complete control over our bodies, will we be free! Why is it that women in the East, who live in a society that our government calls “threatening,” “degenerate” and “abhorrent,” have complete access to contraception and legal abortion? Why is it that their government, not only allows them to join the labor force, but encourages them to do so? It is not the East that is backwards, it is the West. We live in a male dominated society. Men control our government, our legal system, our medical system, our jobs, and our families. They make the laws that dictate our lives, limit our freedoms, and control our bodies. Not only do they dominate the public sphere of society, but they also rule the private sphere. It is not just our governors, our judges, our lawyers, and our doctors that govern our lives; it is our fathers, our uncles, our brothers and our husbands. Therefore, we must no longer distance ourselves from politics and public discourse, but rather we must recognize that as long as we are oppressed in one aspect of our lives, we are oppressed in every aspect. The personal is political. I have come to understand that all women are in the same fight, regardless of age and social background. Nothing divides us in our struggle for freedom. It is time that we join together to crush patriarchy and rid ourselves of its rule! We are all the same because we are all women!
http://www.people.umass.edu/germ377h/katyonabortion.htm
West Germany:
Fake Column in a Feminist Magazine
Mein Bauch Gehort Mir = (my tummy belongs to me)
I never used to think of myself as a feminist. I didn’t give much thought to social and political issues because they didn’t seem to affect my life. But two years ago, I had an experience that not only drastically changed my life, it dramatically altered my outlook on our society and the world at large.
Two years ago I had an abortion. I was thirty at the time, and I was on the brink of a divorce from my then husband Federick. When we married, I had a job working in a bank. But after I got pregnant with our daughter, Juliet, I gave up my job so that I could stay home and raise the baby. I was sad to leave up my job, but staying at work was never even a consideration. It was draining, taking care of the baby and doing all of the work at home. What made it even worse was that I felt that Federick didn’t appreciate anything I did. He ridiculed me for everything. We started arguing a lot. I would try to make things better by doing everything I could think of to please him. I prepared elaborate meals every night, I made sure the house was spotless; I was always attentive to his needs. But he never seemed to be attentive to my needs. I resented him for this. When he started “working late” every night, the fighting began to escalate. Finally, after about five months of constant fighting and arguing we agreed that it was best if we separated. Five days later, I found out I was pregnant. When I told Federick, rather than comforting me, he blamed me. He said things like, “why didn’t you use the pill, you should have taken birth control!” I didn’t know enough about the pill – in my mind it was only for younger women, single women, women who were promiscuous, not women who were married with a family. Now I know better. We both agreed that the best solution was for me to get an abortion. I was completely unprepared and ill-equipped to take on the financial and emotional responsibilities of having another baby. I already had my hands full with my first child, and I no longer had the support of my husband.
When I went to the doctor, he refused to grant me the right to an abortion. According to him, my situation did not comply with the “social grounds” amendment because I was not yet divorced. In his “professional opinion” it was in “my best interests as well as my children’s best interests to work things out with my husband.” I was so angry! How dare this man tell me what was in my best interests when he didn’t know the first thing about my life? And why was this only my responsibility – where was my husband in all of this? Federick moved out and I was left to handle the situation on my own. Completely alone, I turned to my close friend Margaret, a woman I knew from my old job at the bank. I had kept her up to date about my marital problems and confided in her that I was pregnant. She helped me find a man who performed abortions (someone who had given her cousin an abortion). I had heard stories of botched abortions and women bleeding to death. I was terrified something would go wrong. Frederick agreed to pay for it and look after Juliet while I had the procedure. The man who performed it was very matter-of-fact, and the procedure was not terribly painful. The physical aftermath wasn’t too bad, just some intense cramping and slight bleeding.
When it was over I felt relieved. But my feelings of anger lingered and transformed into feelings of depression and shame. I felt powerless, hopeless, and alone. Margaret insisted that I go with her to the women’s group whose meetings she regularly attended. Finally I succumbed to her relentless persistence. At the meetings I found women who shared stories and experiences similar to mine and to each others’. We talked, listened, laughed and cried. Through our conversations, we realized that we were not alone. After I started attending the meetings, my anger was no longer debilitating, it was empowering. We had all been victims of the patriarchal society in which we live. But through the support and the awareness that I gained from the women I have met, I vowed that I would no longer be a victim. That’s why I have committed my energy into fighting for my rights, my daughters’ rights, and the rights of every woman.
I urge all of you to do the same, and I encourage each of you to ask yourself if you or any woman that you know has ever felt belittled or mistreated by a man. How many women do you know who have been patronized by her physician or told by her doctor that something she was feeling was “just in her head?” How many women do you know who have had to sacrifice having a career because they don’t receive adequate childcare or paid leave, or because they have to fulfill their “domestic duties”? How many women do you know who have jobs but earn lower wages than their male counterparts? How many women do you know who have been sexually exploited or objectified? How many women do you know who have been a victim of violence or rape? How many women do you know who have been denied access to contraception or information about their bodies? How many women do you know who have needed an abortion but could not get one because abortions are not legal? How many women do you know who have opted to get an abortion illegally and, perhaps, unsafely? I know countless women, including myself, who have experienced many of these things.
Not until we have equal wages as men, full access to information about sex and birth control, the right to safe and legal abortion, and, above all, complete control over our bodies, will we be free! Why is it that women in the East, who live in a society that our government calls “threatening,” “degenerate” and “abhorrent,” have complete access to contraception and legal abortion? Why is it that their government, not only allows them to join the labor force, but encourages them to do so? It is not the East that is backwards, it is the West. We live in a male dominated society. Men control our government, our legal system, our medical system, our jobs, and our families. They make the laws that dictate our lives, limit our freedoms, and control our bodies. Not only do they dominate the public sphere of society, but they also rule the private sphere. It is not just our governors, our judges, our lawyers, and our doctors that govern our lives; it is our fathers, our uncles, our brothers and our husbands. Therefore, we must no longer distance ourselves from politics and public discourse, but rather we must recognize that as long as we are oppressed in one aspect of our lives, we are oppressed in every aspect. The personal is political. I have come to understand that all women are in the same fight, regardless of age and social background. Nothing divides us in our struggle for freedom. It is time that we join together to crush patriarchy and rid ourselves of its rule! We are all the same because we are all women!
http://www.people.umass.edu/germ377h/katyonabortion.htm
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