Are Open Marriages More Successful Than Traditional Couplings?

Banjo said:
Easy, people talk. Are you familiar with the expression, "I heard it through the grapevine"? The children will end up being hurt. They don't want to believe the rumours only to find out they are true. Peers can be incredibly cruel. The parents really need to think of their children first, not their sexual needs.



Look up the word deception in the dictionary. I made it quite clear what I was talking about. Deception hurts more than just the couple.

It does more harm than good.

(shrugs)

That's just how life is. People can try to tell themselves they won't reap what they sow. But that's just self-denial.
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That's your opinion. Everyone has their own opinion. If one doesnt believe in it, then dont engage in it but there are going to be people who will do it and nobody will stop them.
 
Banjo said:
Easy, people talk. Are you familiar with the expression, "I heard it through the grapevine"? The children will end up being hurt. They don't want to believe the rumours only to find out they are true. Peers can be incredibly cruel. The parents really need to think of their children first, not their sexual needs.



Look up the word deception in the dictionary. I made it quite clear what I was talking about. Deception hurts more than just the couple.

It does more harm than good.

(shrugs)

That's just how life is. People can try to tell themselves they won't reap what they sow. But that's just self-denial.
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Okay, what about the case of a married couple with no kids? What's your opinion?
 
shel90 said:
That's your opinion. Everyone has their own opinion. If one doesnt believe in it, then dont engage in it but there are going to be people who will do it and nobody will stop them.
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And they shall reap what they sow. Sorry, but that's just how life is. I don't make the rules.

P.S., I know it's my opinion. I don't need to be reminded of that.
 
Daredevel7 said:
Okay, what about the case of a married couple with no kids? What's your opinion?
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Regardless of if they have kids or not, they are emotionally immature and incapable of understanding the concept of loyalty and the consequences of the choices they make.
 
Banjo said:
And they shall reap what they sow. Sorry, but that's just how life is. I don't make the rules.

P.S., I know it's my opinion. I don't need to be reminded of that.
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No problem at all.
 
Banjo said:
Regardless of if they have kids or not, they are emotionally immature and incapable of understanding the concept of loyalty and the consequences of the choices they make.
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To be mature in your eyes, they must suppress their sexual desires? No guest stars? Quite sad.

I wouldn't be surprised to know if there are married couples (with no kids) who are perfectly happy with living together and having the freedom to have sex with others. Too bad that they would be judged solely on the fact they don't live up to the vows based on other people's views, therefore they are being "deceptive".

(BTW.... think about a couple where the guy is paraplegic and cannot have sex and he feels horrible about not being able to satisfy his wife, so he wants her to get her satisfaction elsewhere... is that so wrong?)
 
Daredevel7 said:
To be mature in your eyes, they must suppress their sexual desires? No guest stars? Quite sad.

I wouldn't be surprised to know if there are married couples (with no kids) who are perfectly happy with living together and having the freedom to have sex with others. Too bad that they would be judged solely on the fact they don't live up to the vows based on other people's views, therefore they are being "deceptive".

(BTW.... think about a couple where the guy is paraplegic and cannot have sex and he feels horrible about not being able to satisfy his wife, so he wants her to get her satisfaction elsewhere... is that so wrong?)
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I agree with u on that.
 
Daredevel7 said:
(BTW.... think about a couple where the guy is paraplegic and cannot have sex and he feels horrible about not being able to satisfy his wife, so he wants her to get her satisfaction elsewhere... is that so wrong?)
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For rich or for poor, in sickness and in health.

Life's a bitch sometimes. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
 
Banjo said:
For rich or for poor, in sickness and in health.

Life's a bitch sometimes. You can't have your cake and eat it too.
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Not all couples follow the traditional vows and write their own vows which may not include this statement.
 
Daredevel7 said:
I wouldn't be surprised to know if there are married couples (with no kids) who are perfectly happy with living together and having the freedom to have sex with others. Too bad that they would be judged solely on the fact they don't live up to the vows based on other people's views, therefore they are being "deceptive".
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People who cannot abide to their vows are not people of their words.
 
shel90 said:
Not all couples follow the traditional vows and write their own vows which may not include this statement.
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A marriage is an union of two people who are committed to each other. Can't get any simpler than this.
 
Banjo said:
A marriage is an union of two people who are committed to each other. Can't get any simpler than this.
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I don't dispute that.

However I know many people who have different ideas of what it means to be committed to each other.
 
If people don't have enough self control and respect for their spouses to stay faithful, then how can they be trusted in any other area of life?

Can they be trusted in business, in government, in the military, etc.? Will they cut and run when the going gets tough? Will they cheat on business deals and taxes so they can maintain their lifestyles?

If Mom or Dad can't stay faithful to each other, will they be around when their kids need them?

If they have no children, will the elderly wife be dumped for a trophy wife? Will the healthy wife want to stay home and tend to the bed-ridden husband? Will their extra-marital sex partners be willing to also be caregivers for them?
 
Reba said:
If people don't have enough self control and respect for their spouses to stay faithful, then how can they be trusted in any other area of life?

Can they be trusted in business, in government, in the military, etc.? Will they cut and run when the going gets tough? Will they cheat on business deals and taxes so they can maintain their lifestyles?

If Mom or Dad can't stay faithful to each other, will they be around when their kids need them?

If they have no children, will the elderly wife be dumped for a trophy wife? Will the healthy wife want to stay home and tend to the bed-ridden husband? Will their extra-marital sex partners be willing to also be caregivers for them?
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I think what people do in their private lives doesn't reflect their characters and their work ethics. There is a line bwtween personal and business lives, IMO.

If people can't distinguish between that line, that's their own personal problem but those who can, they should be respected for their skills, work ethics and etc on the job not by how they live their personal lives.

There r so many people who r hard workers, good parents and etc despite how they live their relationships.

Can't judge people like that. That's unfair...

Besides I'll bet there are so many good workers, good parents and etc who have open marriages but don't tell anyone. Who really knows what goes on behind closed doors.
Ever hear of "skeletons in the closet"?
 
What about people who dont have sex with other people but still cheat others out of money, neglect and abuse their children, and etc?

What about them?

It is like saying all people who follow the traditional marriage are child abusers, pedophiles, liars, theives and etc when we know that isnt true.

The same should apply to those people who live alternative lifestyles.

I see no correlation between how one lives their personal lives and how they act in society.
 
shel90 said:
Not all couples follow the traditional vows and write their own vows which may not include this statement.
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Ditto

There are couples out there that aren't traditional..... there are couples out there that had made their own vows and you know what, that suits me just fine because it's their business, it's not my business as it doesn't affect my life.
 
Way back a couple of years ago...I met this co-worker who was honorably discharged from the Army. On her dog tags..she had her general information. On the 2nd tag..it asked for Religion. It said "Religion - Any". I kindly asked her what her idea of this was and she made a VERY valid point. I think this point translates to this thread.

She said..."when we all die and go up to meet our maker..will there be separate rooms for the Catholics...the High Rollers (Pentecostals)..the Baptists...the Lutherans...Jehovah's witnesses...the Methodists???"

I kindly told her that I didn't think there would be such a plan because we are all human being. We're all from the same cloth.

Case in point: Every body has their own religious views of who their God is. I don't speak for everyone, but I have noticed that pretty much every one I come across does not like to be lectured on WHO their God should be and WHY. If you disagree...OK fine..you're entitled to your opinion and then SHUT UP!! You can not and will not force your opinions on any one in the Land of the Free.

If people choose to have Open marriages..be heterosexual..be bi..have multiple partners or whatever...you certainly are entitled to your views..you may give it..but that doesn't mean the other person will HAVE to accept it. You don't like it..tough..move on.

That's how I am..what I do..and how I do it and why I do it is my business. If you cant accept it, then I suggest you move on to some body else, because I wouldn't take it. If guys and gals want to go into strip bars and have the BEST fun there..more power to them!! If guys and gals are content with staying home and reading a book/knitting...more power to them!! In this land of Free...we're free to do what we wish. Some actions may have consequences..some actions may not. You always have a choice...choices equals consequences.

If people want to make choices that they believe will benefit them better...I'm all for it!!

My 2 cents
 
Dodge Trucker said:
Way back a couple of years ago...I met this co-worker who was honorably discharged from the Army. On her dog tags..she had her general information. On the 2nd tag..it asked for Religion. It said "Religion - Any". I kindly asked her what her idea of this was and she made a VERY valid point. I think this point translates to this thread.

She said..."when we all die and go up to meet our maker..will there be separate rooms for the Catholics...the High Rollers (Pentecostals)..the Baptists...the Lutherans...Jehovah's witnesses...the Methodists???"

I kindly told her that I didn't think there would be such a plan because we are all human being. We're all from the same cloth.

Case in point: Every body has their own religious views of who their God is. I don't speak for everyone, but I have noticed that pretty much every one I come across does not like to be lectured on WHO their God should be and WHY. If you disagree...OK fine..you're entitled to your opinion and then SHUT UP!! You can not and will not force your opinions on any one in the Land of the Free.

If people choose to have Open marriages..be heterosexual..be bi..have multiple partners or whatever...you certainly are entitled to your views..you may give it..but that doesn't mean the other person will HAVE to accept it. You don't like it..tough..move on.

That's how I am..what I do..and how I do it and why I do it is my business. If you cant accept it, then I suggest you move on to some body else, because I wouldn't take it. If guys and gals want to go into strip bars and have the BEST fun there..more power to them!! If guys and gals are content with staying home and reading a book/knitting...more power to them!! In this land of Free...we're free to do what we wish. Some actions may have consequences..some actions may not. You always have a choice...choices equals consequences.

If people want to make choices that they believe will benefit them better...I'm all for it!!

My 2 cents
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:gpost:

Especially about the part bolded in red.
 
Dodge Trucker said:
If you disagree...OK fine..you're entitled to your opinion and then SHUT UP!! You can not and will not force your opinions on any one in the Land of the Free.
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Maybe you should follow your own advice. :roll:

People are entitled to their opinions, no matter how wrong they are. People need to stop whining about how opinions are being forced upon them because it isn't. People are saying their pieces and they just don't like to hear it, so they try to accuse them of forcing it upon them.

If they don't want to be disagreed with, they shouldn't had said something in the first place.

Where's the wahmbulance when you need one?
 
Banjo said:
Maybe you should follow your own advice. :roll:

People are entitled to their opinions, no matter how wrong they are. People need to stop whining about how opinions are being forced upon them because it isn't. People are saying their pieces and they just don't like to hear it, so they try to accuse them of forcing it upon them.

If they don't want to be disagreed with, they shouldn't had said something in the first place.

Where's the wahmbulance when you need one?
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I think he is talking about those who try to force their opinions on him not expressing their opinions.
 
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