Are Open Marriages More Successful Than Traditional Couplings?

shel90 said:
By disagreeing with the idea doesnt mean u are judging them. U are entitled to your opinion on it. I wouldnt do it either. :)
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Heh, its good to know. ;) I'm sorry if I made any sensitive post. ><;
 
I wouldn't do it myself. However I wouldn't judge others for doing it.
I'm all for diversity: Traditional marriage, open marriage, gay marriage, Polygamous marriage or Polyandry marriage. As long as the people love each other and practice responsibility in their sex lives I have nothing against any of these practices.

Although I have engaged in threesomes in the past. It didn't work. I haven't slept with anyone for the last 8 years. who knows how long that will last but I think if I did get married a 3 way marriage would work best. Sorry if this sounds really weird but I don't like the idea of being alone with just one person. I think if their were two of them they could entertain themselves and I wouldn't be stuck with talking to them all the time.
 
I think an open marriage would require huge amounts of communication and emotional maturity. I don't like the idea for myself, but friends of mine have an open marriage, and at times it does cause problems for them, they seem to work through it. At one point the woman started falling in love with her 'extra man' and had to end the relationship so it did not place her in emotional conflict in her marriage.

To each his own, as long as it is not hurting anyone, and rules of the game are agreed upon, then I have no right to judge.
 
~*Kaelei*~ said:
Extactly! So why bother having a divorce when you can have open marriage.... both of you can go with other people and still love each other? That may work and their love could intensify as they wouldn't be bored with each other.
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It also opens up the possibility of increased STDs when you have multiple sex partners. A committment to only person reduces STDs drastically (in terms of receiving STDs from other people). Swingers are at increased risk of contracting STDs from multiple sex partners. I see it more trouble than it's worth. It's simply a way to ultimately try and justify their own gratification needs and way to "save" their own "marriage" by being more "open."
 
interesting........ :hmm:

suffice to say - I am open to all (well almost all)
 
why get married if open commitment or such rather than say married. I will pass that sort of relationship.
 
I believe in traditional marriage also...but I can see that some couples who have been married a long time, get bored with each other. Some women/men let themselves "go", and the spouse still loves them but is no longer attracted sexually, OR one spouse has lost interest in sex, and won't or can't get help for the problem.....The couple wants to remain married, due to really loving each other, or children, or financial reasons, etc.....I do remember the "vows" that are taken....but does that mean if the woman or man lost all interest in sex, that the other one should suffer?

Or if one was in a coma, or had a disabling disease....many issues here, would that mean one of them had to forgo having sex for the rest of their life?

Marriage is hard work! Many things can happen during the marriage. And if the couple opts to have an "open" marriage, then that's their business, as long as they are discreet and honest about their needs.

It may sound as if it's "cheating" to some people...then again to those who are open to their marriages, it's not. Many wives turn a "blind eye" to their husband's discretions due to the fact they no longer want sex but the husband does.
 
Communication and compromise is far more important than living up to some man-made ideals.
 
rockin'robin said:
I believe in traditional marriage also...but I can see that some couples who have been married a long time, get bored with each other. Some women/men let themselves "go", and the spouse still loves them but is no longer attracted sexually, OR one spouse has lost interest in sex, and won't or can't get help for the problem.....The couple wants to remain married, due to really loving each other, or children, or financial reasons, etc.....I do remember the "vows" that are taken....but does that mean if the woman or man lost all interest in sex, that the other one should suffer?

Or if one was in a coma, or had a disabling disease....many issues here, would that mean one of them had to forgo having sex for the rest of their life?
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I can see what you are getting at. Also in the case of some mental health issues.

For me it really wouldn't work with just one person because There are times when I really am not much fun to be with. I don't want to communicate with anyone at all and it would iliviate a lot of pressure off me if my partner had someone else they could turn to when that happened.
 
a crock of beans

Only read couple of replies....and came upon one stating the woman was falling in love with the 'extra' man. A real marraige implies that the married couple will not take chances of falling in love. It is a real disrespect toward the partner. It says there is no real marraige.
To me it is ridiculous....and yes I do judge people who try to make it appear all smarmy. No character......full oflies...lies to yourself to start with. Putting oneself into a position where possibly could fall in love with other...disrespects the partner and marraige.
If one is going to disrespect it to that degree then what is the point of the marraige? There is no marrraige. Thesepeople don't know what marraige is.
Talking silly garbage.....there is no point.
yes...I judge swingers....and no afraid to say so.
garbage
 
rockin'robin said:
I believe in traditional marriage also...but I can see that some couples who have been married a long time, get bored with each other. Some women/men let themselves "go", and the spouse still loves them but is no longer attracted sexually, OR one spouse has lost interest in sex, and won't or can't get help for the problem.....The couple wants to remain married, due to really loving each other, or children, or financial reasons, etc.....I do remember the "vows" that are taken....but does that mean if the woman or man lost all interest in sex, that the other one should suffer?

Or if one was in a coma, or had a disabling disease....many issues here, would that mean one of them had to forgo having sex for the rest of their life?

Marriage is hard work! Many things can happen during the marriage. And if the couple opts to have an "open" marriage, then that's their business, as long as they are discreet and honest about their needs.

It may sound as if it's "cheating" to some people...then again to those who are open to their marriages, it's not. Many wives turn a "blind eye" to their husband's discretions due to the fact they no longer want sex but the husband does.
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What happened to the vow to stay faithful to one another for better or worse, in sickness and in health?

What about considering the feelings of the spouse? It's very selfish to just think of one's own needs.

If two people are so self-centered and focused on their own desires, maybe they shouldn't get married.
 
shel90 said:
Those same problems/issues do happen in traditional marriages when a spouse cheats on the other one.

Traditional or not...any marriage has risks of people getting hurt.

I had a traditional marriage with my ex hubby..until he cheated on me. Changed my views on what a traditional marriage meant.

Hope u and Reba will never have to feel that pain.
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How would an "open" marriage prevent feeling the pain of a cheating spouse?
 
shel90 said:
I think cheating behind a spouse's back is even more sinful. At least these people are being honest about it and it is their business not anyone else to judge them on.
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They are still breaking their marriage vows. It's still adultery. Calling it an open marriage, and saying that all parties agree to it doesn't make the situation any less sinful and wrong. It's not any more honest because all parties involved are still lying to themselves if they think their behavior isn't harmful to themselves and others.
 
The problem with an open marriage is that it directly contradicts the vows. So, what's the point of getting married if they want multiple partners?

Really. Think about it.
 
Reba said:
How would an "open" marriage prevent feeling the pain of a cheating spouse?
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At least they are honest to each other about what they do instead of lying. For me, it was the lying that hurted the most than the affair itself.
 
Well....

If a couple wants to do an open marriage relationship, that's fine - more power to them for doing that.

Although, Personally, I would prefer to have an monogamous relationship. It is just how I am. I can't really picture myself sharing with other person that is outside of the marriage/relationship. I don't know if it is just how the moral aspect applies to this.

Perhaps, for those who does the open relationship sees it differently and felt that they can share themselves with others as long as they keep the communication line open but however, when they chose that - evidently they should be aware of other possible risks that are involved.
 
Banjo said:
The problem with an open marriage is that it directly contradicts the vows. So, what's the point of getting married if they want multiple partners?

Really. Think about it.
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Simple. It pleases other people (business wise and family wise), is easier to have kids when you're married, and (I am not too sure about this part since I'm not married) is cheaper due to taxes and whatnot.
 
Daredevel7 said:
Communication and compromise is far more important than living up to some man-made ideals.
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Marital fidelity is not a man-made ideal but a commandment from God.

Marital fidelity does not exclude communication and compromise between husband and wife. Good communication and loving self-sacrifice strengthen fidelity.
 
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