Advice please: son doesn't want to wear HAs

rick48 said:
Lissa, FJ, Grendel, Daredeveil, and Cloggy,

All very good posts and show that not only with our children/selves but based on the observations of others there is a range at which people with cis function.

For others, it is time to stop projecting your experiences onto our kids. You may not want to hear this but as so many of you are apt to claim we parents are in denial so too are you if you are seeking to project your experiences 20-40 years ago without cis onto the ci kids of today.

My daughter can talk on the phone and it does not have to be in "perfect" situations, she can carry on conversations with others from different rooms and on different floors of our house.

What bothers me is that she and so many others when we relate these stories are dismissed as "superstars" or that they are only a small minority. That is nothing more than an attempt to marginalize our/their experiences in order to avoid the reality that they are more the norm then many of you are afraid to admit. Was my daughter one of the earliest kids implanted, yes, is she a "superstar" by no means no. I have observed, witnessed, personally known 100's of kids over the past 20 years and not all of course (but that is another discussion) but the overwhelming majority of these kids are doing very well. I am totally blown away by some of the bi-lat kids.

No the ci is not a miracle, it is not a cure for deafness, it does not make a deaf child hearing (but they can hear) but it is, for those who do not get benefits from HAs, still the best choice that currently exists to give deaf children and adults access to sound. We parents are always being told how we do not "listen" well some of you should not only "listen" to the ci kids but to those ci adults who have consistently told you how it has made thier lives easier and how they wish they had had it at a younger age.

Finally, to those who keep claiming that cochlear implant decision is done for the convenience of hearing parents, if you truly believe that, then you do not know very many parents of children with cochlear implants. If, as I suspect, it is your argument de jour, then it is a very weak one and time for you to come up with a new cliche.
Rick
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Very, very well put... Hope it will not just be red, but also digested.
Thanks Rick..:cool2:
 
Beowulf said:
A classic audist response. :cool2:
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Wow, really? There's not a shred of audism in that response. Don't you worry that you'll undermine a legitimate concern about audism in our world by making such baseless accusations? That's crying wolf at its best. No one will pay a bit of attention when we call out audism if you throw it around in this way.
 
GrendelQ said:
Wow, really? There's not a shred of audism in that response.
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Really? Not a shred? He seemingly places value on his daughter through how much she can hear from different floors. Not a shred? Really? :roll:
 
Beowulf said:
Really? Not a shred? He seemingly places value on his daughter through how much she can hear from different floors. Not a shred? Really? :roll:
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No, how on earth is that audism? Audism is not valuing the ability to hear. It's considering someone superior to another based solely on the hearing ability. I highly value the ability to speak Mandarin, but I don't consider those who speak Mandarin superior to those who speak German.
 
Beowulf said:
Really? Not a shred? He seemingly places value on his daughter through how much she can hear from different floors. Not a shred? Really? :roll:
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No, how on earth is that audism? Audism does not equal valuing the ability to hear. It's considering someone superior to another based solely on the hearing ability. I highly value the ability to speak Mandarin, but I don't consider those who speak Mandarin superior to those who speak German.
 
GrendelQ said:
No, how on earth is that audism? Audism does not equal valuing the ability to hear. It's considering someone superior to another based solely on the hearing ability. I highly value the ability to speak Mandarin, but I don't consider those who speak Mandarin superior to those who speak German.
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Now the fight starts. Sighhh....
 
GrendelQ said:
Wow, really? There's not a shred of audism in that response. Don't you worry that you'll undermine a legitimate concern about audism in our world by making such baseless accusations? That's crying wolf at its best. No one will pay a bit of attention when we call out audism if you throw it around in this way.
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"Audism" is just a word that is thrown in now and then.... Alway unjustified and inappropriate.... basically.... without meaning... or just to start TROLLING
 
GrendelQ said:
No, how on earth is that audism? Audism does not equal valuing the ability to hear. It's considering someone superior to another based solely on the hearing ability. I highly value the ability to speak Mandarin, but I don't consider those who speak Mandarin superior to those who speak German.
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While I agree with you Grendel, my feeling is not to go there as this what he/she usually does, divert attention from what was posted into a discussion about the poster himself. It now becomes "Lets all call Rick is an audist."

Meanwhile, just look at his/her silly response he/she takes an example of how well my daughter can hear, an example that others have used, and attempts, woefully inadequately, to equate it with how I value my daughter as a person. Very low level reasoning.

Arguing with this person is just not worth it, for it is he/she who values my daughter and others like her by how she hears and not by who she is.

Rick
 
It doesn't change the fact that there are still many deaf children out there who have suffered from the oral only philosophy..even children with CIs. What about them? Again, it seems like they are not worthy enough to get the help they need. That's why the Deaf community wants ASL for all so no deaf child suffer but it is still happening. Guess it is not a big concern for some.
 
shel90 said:
It doesn't change the fact that there are still many deaf children out there who have suffered from the oral only philosophy..even children with CIs. What about them? Again, it seems like they are not worthy enough to get the help they need. That's why the Deaf community wants ASL for all so no deaf child suffer but it is still happening. Guess it is not a big concern for some.
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In the perfect world, there'll be ASL for every deaf child and made easily accsssible, but while it is not accessible today, we just have to educate those and get people to use sign a lot more. There is talks of making BSL a GCSE over here but if that ever happens, I don't know.

I think deaf kids, either implanted, hearing aided or have none, need both to flourish, and access language easier. I know I could have done with language earlier on, I didn't have much of a language until I was 4-5 years old. But if my parents got to know their options beforehand I think they would have learnt sign a lot earlier than 5yrs( there were no sign language classes anywhere around here back then)
 
rick48 said:
While I agree with you Grendel, my feeling is not to go there as this what he/she usually does, divert attention from what was posted into a discussion about the poster himself. It now becomes "Lets all call Rick is an audist."

Meanwhile, just look at his/her silly response he/she takes an example of how well my daughter can hear, an example that others have used, and attempts, woefully inadequately, to equate it with how I value my daughter as a person. Very low level reasoning.

Arguing with this person is just not worth it, for it is he/she who values my daughter and others like her by how she hears and not by who she is.

Rick
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You know, it was a short while ago that you said not to project my lack of a relationship with my parents upon you. Not to project my insecurities and inadequacies upon you. Not to get all emotionally and mentally unglued all because I simply suggested that perhaps instead of asking your child in front of others how she feels about someone touching her CI, that you talk with her privately so you would know what to do next time someone asked.

By the way, what inadequacies exactly do you think I have? Do you know me?

And yet you accuse us of being ignorant and biased?

For the record, my parents were outstanding people and I loved them both very very much. They were loving caring people who wanted the best for me and suffered when I suffered and who did their best to give me the happiest life possible even if their choice for an oral upbringing was not the best choice. You leaped to all sorts of conclusions and deliberately went out of your way to hurt me as much as possible on a personal level by calling me insecure, inadequate, emotionally and mentally unglued and lacking love and bonds with my parents.

I feel sorry for you that you feel in order to win an argument, you have to hurt people personally and find ways to make them feel as shitty as possible instead of sticking to the topic. That's pathetic.
 
DeafCaroline said:
You know, it was a short while ago that you said not to project my lack of a relationship with my parents upon you. Not to project my insecurities and inadequacies upon you. Not to get all emotionally and mentally unglued all because I simply suggested that perhaps instead of asking your child in front of others how she feels about someone touching her CI, that you talk with her privately so you would know what to do next time someone asked.

By the way, what inadequacies exactly do you think I have? Do you know me?

And yet you accuse us of being ignorant and biased?

For the record, my parents were outstanding people and I loved them both very very much. They were loving caring people who wanted the best for me and suffered when I suffered and who did their best to give me the happiest life possible even if their choice for an oral upbringing was not the best choice. You leaped to all sorts of conclusions and deliberately went out of your way to hurt me as much as possible on a personal level by calling me insecure, inadequate, emotionally and mentally unglued and lacking love and bonds with my parents.

I feel sorry for you that you feel in order to win an argument, you have to hurt people personally and find ways to make them feel as shitty as possible instead of sticking to the topic. That's pathetic.
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I will deal with my inadequacies. :giggle:
 
Lissa said:
In the perfect world, there'll be ASL for every deaf child and made easily accsssible, but while it is not accessible today, we just have to educate those and get people to use sign a lot more. There is talks of making BSL a GCSE over here but if that ever happens, I don't know.

I think deaf kids, either implanted, hearing aided or have none, need both to flourish, and access language easier. I know I could have done with language earlier on, I didn't have much of a language until I was 4-5 years old. But if my parents got to know their options beforehand I think they would have learnt sign a lot earlier than 5yrs( there were no sign language classes anywhere around here back then)
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I agree with you that deaf children need both to flourish. As fpr not having access to sign language, the children I see with the language delays had access to ASL programs but their parents chose not to use them. Then later on the kids ended up needing ASL and the damage has been done. It just feels like they are forgotten because they are not CI superstars.
 
DeafCaroline said:
You know, it was a short while ago that you said not to project my lack of a relationship with my parents upon you. Not to project my insecurities and inadequacies upon you. Not to get all emotionally and mentally unglued all because I simply suggested that perhaps instead of asking your child in front of others how she feels about someone touching her CI, that you talk with her privately so you would know what to do next time someone asked.

By the way, what inadequacies exactly do you think I have? Do you know me?

And yet you accuse us of being ignorant and biased?

For the record, my parents were outstanding people and I loved them both very very much. They were loving caring people who wanted the best for me and suffered when I suffered and who did their best to give me the happiest

life possible even if their choice for an oral upbringing was not the best choice.

You leaped to all sorts of conclusions and deliberately went out of your way
to hurt me as much as possible on a personal level by calling me insecure,
inadequate, emotionally and mentally unglued and lacking love and bonds with
my parents.






I feel sorry for you that you feel in order to win an argument, you have to hurt people personally and find ways to make them feel as shitty as possible instead of sticking to the topic. That's pathetic.
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He has done that to others as well for years. Not worth even tryimg to get him tounderstand how you were hurt. I was there before. Nothimg has changed so just a FYI. :hug:
 
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