Adjustment to late onset deafness

Hey sallylou, sorry for being so long, busy. Truce. You mentioned that you hear but without your ha's, you have difficulty. I am the same. I can hear, but I cannot understand. There is a difference. It is this difference that people cannot understand. I can hear most of the conversation, but I only understand about 40% of it.
 
Hi, hohpolice. My hearing loss is in the speech zone so I'm always filling in the blanks. It's like playing Wheel of Fortune every time you have a conversation. Pat, I'd like to buy a vowel! :laugh2:

For example, I hear "e--e--tor races." I guess "alligator races." Good try, but it was "elevator races." Slight difference. It makes for some comical conversations. :giggle:

I can listen best when it's one-on-one with no back ground noise. Listening is really exhausting for me. Many of us here talk about the fatigue that comes with hearing loss. By the end of the day, I'm grateful to take off my hearing aids and take a break from the noise. I like being able to turn off my ears.
 
new to the Deaf world

Ok, this is really the first post for me and I am sorry if this becomes a book, as I have just found the site and have been reading as many posts as I can all weekend. Originally, I started looking for info about the Deaf community to help my mother, but after reading some of the stories of Late Onset forum as well as many in the our life, our culture areas I am wondering about myself as well. You see, my mother has about 75% loss in one ear and about 50% in the other. Despite this, she refuses to get hearing aids. Her hearing has been going in chunks for years, and her brother and sisters all have some degree of hearing loss as well. Her mother is all but deaf, but HA’s give her nothing but basic recognition of sound, personally I think she lip reads since she will only understand you if you look right at her while she is looking right at you. My grandmother, and in most part my mother as well, look at the loss of hearing as the families hushed secret and it is not talked about. My aunts and my uncle all have hearing loss to some degree as well, but most refuse to bring it up or discuss it.
Back in high school, I met my first Deaf kid, and we became friends. He was HoH, but used sign for 90% of his conversations and I started to learn sign from him. Sadly, his parents moved him to a private school for the deaf and I lost contact.. When I tried to teach my mother at the time some of the signs I had learned from him, after all, at this point, she was about 30% loss in one and almost none in the other, she rejected it as silly non-sense and that her hearing was not that bad. Now, I am starting to notice that I am asking my friends to repeat what they say, and getting a random ringing tone in my ears (tell I read about this on this forums, I just thought it was part of my headaches or something) I am wondering if I am following the same path as my mother. I have not gone in to get checked out, half of lack of medical coverage since getting laid off from Sprint, and the other half is that if I am shown as having hearing loss, it could cost me my temp job, since I do over-the-phone tech support right now. I have started to learn sign again since I still think it is a beautiful language and I wish I had not stopped learning it when my friend moved away, but my main issue is how to convince my mother to start learning as well. I know that she is going to get worse based on her parents and older siblings, and she seems more open about her issues now that it has gotten to the point I have had to wire the stereo to the TV for her to hear it, and she is getting complaints about the noise.
Anyone that has gone though late onset deafness have any ideas on how I should help her get moved from hardly hearing to HoH..
 
Your mother is an adult and you can't make her decisions for her, assuming that she hasn't been declared legally incompetent. It's unfortunate that she won't deal with her hearing loss in a healthier way but you can't force her to adjust the way that you want. I know that's hard and I'm sorry. :(

I recommend putting your energy into your own adjustment to hearing loss. You've already starting by joining AD. Welcome! :welcome: You have the desire to learn ASL and that's a great idea. You can serve as a model of healthy adjustment to your mother. Maybe that will help and maybe it won't. In any case, you'll be taking care of yourself, which must be your first priority.

I understand what your family culture is like. I have dominate progressive hearing loss and I'm the first person in my family to actually deal with it. It's like I'm a great adventurer or a trail blazer. :giggle: I hope that you'll hang around AD and get some ideas for adjusting. You'll find that people here understand. :D
 
:wave:FXAvatar

:wave:sally, have ?, if I may....u go to geneticist or ENT to determine "dominant progressive loss"? Or did u already know from family history?
:ty:
 
It's in my family. My grandfather, then my mom and now me. If you have a dominant loss it will be in your family. 50/50 chance that offspring will be effected (my kids).

I understand that most genetic hearing loss is recessive (instead of dominant). With recessive loss, the parents don't know of hearing loss in their families.

You'd think that being in a deaf family would be helpful. My family, like FxAvatar's family, lived in denial and with shame. It's sad to see people suffer so needlessly. I'm grateful that I have more resources--like the internet to find my comrades. :cool2:
 
ahh, okay :ty: again sally
yes, the Internet can bring folks closer together to share in something in a way that one's own family may not be able to
:D
 
sallylou said:
Hi, hohpolice. My hearing loss is in the speech zone so I'm always filling in the blanks. It's like playing Wheel of Fortune every time you have a conversation. Pat, I'd like to buy a vowel! :laugh2:

For example, I hear "e--e--tor races." I guess "alligator races." Good try, but it was "elevator races." Slight difference. It makes for some comical conversations. :giggle:

I can listen best when it's one-on-one with no back ground noise. Listening is really exhausting for me. Many of us here talk about the fatigue that comes with hearing loss. By the end of the day, I'm grateful to take off my hearing aids and take a break from the noise. I like being able to turn off my ears.
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:laugh2: Such a good way of explaining it. :yesway:

Same here. One-on-one in a quiet room is okay but it still takes a lot of energy to understand. That's why signing is nice even when I can make do with just speech. Takes much less effort.
 
I'm not late-deafened but I love the wheel of fortune analogy- I'm usually fine one-on-one in a quiet room but crowds result in exactly what you said, sallylou! I go to a weekly class to build self-confidence for people who've been out of work for a while, and I'm actually too scared to tell the speaker/tutor I wear hearing aids..she's very clear and loud, it's the rest of the class that isn't!
 
sallylou said:
Your mother is an adult and you can't make her decisions for her, assuming that she hasn't been declared legally incompetent. It's unfortunate that she won't deal with her hearing loss in a healthier way but you can't force her to adjust the way that you want. I know that's hard and I'm sorry.
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I understand this, I really do. I would like to help her but I think she is a lot like I was in thinking that it is just how our family is, and you just have to deal with it. I had the luck of thinking back to my friend in high school that changed from hearing to HoH, but he was much younger. My random fascination with ASL and my dizzy spell with hearing loss really got me thinking of a "backup" to hearing in case I got as bad as the rest of my family, but I was not sure if anyone else had any luck of bringing options to a family member that was losing their hearing.

sallylou said:
I recommend putting your energy into your own adjustment to hearing loss. You've already starting by joining AD. Welcome! :welcome: You have the desire to learn ASL and that's a great idea. You can serve as a model of healthy adjustment to your mother. Maybe that will help and maybe it won't. In any case, you'll be taking care of yourself, which must be your first priority.
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This was what my main plan was to start with, I thought that if I can learn it, then try to swing her to using some basic signs.. it is a long goal to reach, but thought it would be worth reaching for. I really didn't think my loss was going to be a issue for years to come, but as I said, reading here, and thinking of the warning signs as what they really are.. I am going to focus on my own issues of loss. To tell you the truth, before this weekend.. despite my loss while getting the heavy dizzy spell, I really thought it was the other way around.. that I was sick with a bug that made me dizzy, and since my balance is in the ear's, it was just blocking my hearing.. Now I think it could be the other way around after reading what others have have experienced.

sallylou said:
You'd think that being in a deaf family would be helpful. My family, like FxAvatar's family, lived in denial and with shame. It's sad to see people suffer so needlessly. I'm grateful that I have more resources--like the internet to find my comrades.
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Oo I am so right next to you. I wonder if your family gatherings are like mine, where everyone seems to be yelling to each other.. yet, nobody has a issue?.. I think they all have the same mind set that my grandmother has, that going deaf is a weakness.. and should be resisted or covered up.
 
I avoid gatherings as much as I can. I find it unbearably painful. I can't function in a noisy environment at all. Its like I'm getting kicked in the head constantly. I do, however, have a really neat gadget with my new ha's. A remote control with an off button! I wear Siemens Life 500's with the epen remote. Awsome feature, volume control, different programs for different things such as lecture, music, private conversation, etc.
Without them, I'm the same as sallylou, can't really carry on a conversation unless its one on one, facing each other, quiet room.
FxAvatar, look into your own hearing. I can't believe the difference. I'm hearing sounds I've never heard before. For example, certain birds.....its amazing!
 
I have checked into getting some medical coverage, since I lost mine when I got laid off and I just got pasted the waiting time at my new job, I have asked them to get me the details. Since this is my first time looking into hearing testing (I know, in a family with a history of hearing loss.. dumb to have not tested my hearing since 6th grade).. I have read a few things from the earlier posts and many of the acronyms throw me, should I start at my general practice doctor or what? Also, has anyone ran into issues with getting coverage with medical inc with HoH?
 
sallylou said:
Your mother is an adult and you can't make her decisions for her, assuming that she hasn't been declared legally incompetent. It's unfortunate that she won't deal with her hearing loss in a healthier way but you can't force her to adjust the way that you want. I know that's hard and I'm sorry. :(

I recommend putting your energy into your own adjustment to hearing loss. You've already starting by joining AD. Welcome! :welcome: You have the desire to learn ASL and that's a great idea. You can serve as a model of healthy adjustment to your mother. Maybe that will help and maybe it won't. In any case, you'll be taking care of yourself, which must be your first priority.
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I agree, you should worry about yourself. Sometimes people just need time to see the way things really are. In high school, when I got my hearing test results and got my first hearing aids, I went through a phase were I started to deny a problem. Change is scary and some people try to avoid it. At some point, she will realize that she is hurting herself by ignoring her problem. Seeing you succeed is much more likely to affect her than you telling her what to do :)
 
FxAvatar said:
I have checked into getting some medical coverage, since I lost mine when I got laid off and I just got pasted the waiting time at my new job, I have asked them to get me the details. Since this is my first time looking into hearing testing (I know, in a family with a history of hearing loss.. dumb to have not tested my hearing since 6th grade).. I have read a few things from the earlier posts and many of the acronyms throw me, should I start at my general practice doctor or what? Also, has anyone ran into issues with getting coverage with medical inc with HoH?
Click to expand...

I would go straight to the audiologist if you do not have medical coverage. If you are going to apply for insurance, def do that BEFORE you have your hearing tested. I was denied coverage 3 times before I got some. Now I have coverage, but it isn't any good to me because I have a pre-existing condition. Anyway, if you can get some through a job, I don't believe that they can deny you :D I have actually considered just skipping a few nights of sleep per week to get a job with benefits :hmm:
 
ya, see, I am debating on trying for solo insurance, since this job is a temp job right now. My luck, I would get accepted, then dropped, then the next would say.. sorry, pre-existing. It happened to a friend of mine with diabetes. Before he was cut, they covered everything, now, he is lucky to get some of the meds covered. It was a major rant I will not go into..
 
I second quirkylibra's recommendation. I started with the audiologist even though I have insurance. I didn't see the point of wasting time and $ with an ENT. I knew that my hearing loss was hereditary. I picked a highly qualified audiologist instead of going through the ENT.
 
intrepidmind, do you have hearing aids? My hearing aids mask the tinnitus. Of course, each person is different. There are some threads on AD specifically about tinnitus and you might want to check them out.

Welcome to AD, intrepidmind. :welcome:
 
Got my audiogram today, Light to Moderate with very little loss in speech recognition is the results. He deferred me to a ENT to look into why I am having random dropouts in sound, and a check back in a year or if things get worse. I am below the normal hearing levels, but not to the severe, so he felt a HA would not be useful to me yet. Not sure where that lands me between hoh or hearie, but it looks like I get to make a appointment with a ENT
 
I'd say it makes you HOH, but that's just my opinion- go with whatever you're comfortable with. Glad you're able to see the ENT to look further into things.
 
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