Adjustment to late onset deafness

jillio said:
I'm afraid that isn't quite true, JennyB. At least not in America.
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I have seen many sociological studies on this. Many. At least for here, in Canada, if there is a wage discrepancy there is a reason other than gender. Many of the reasons are related to gender, but once again it isn't the inherent gender.
 
That stat is adjusted for those factors, Jenny.

HOHpolice, I don't need to manage a MickeyD's. I'm an attorney. I will take you up on the truce. It's not a fair fight anyway.
 
JennyB said:
I have seen many sociological studies on this. Many. At least for here, in Canada, if there is a wage discrepancy there is a reason other than gender. Many of the reasons are related to gender, but once again it isn't the inherent gender.
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Well, I do have a reply to this, and would like to discuss the issue in depth, but we will need to do it in a different thread.:ty:
 
jillio said:
Well, I do have a reply to this, and would like to discuss the issue in depth, but we will need to do it in a different thread.:ty:
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Sounds good! Back to the initial reason why I posted...Deaf rights in Canada?
 
I read many many of the threads/postings although may not always type lot- but I have been educated by many here and enjoy being able to see the contributions. One of the things I am reminded of whenever I am on here is how much we are connected at a very basic level even if we don't realize....


and I am for d/Deaf rights everywhere!

:wave:
 
How about a new thread for deaf rights in Canada?

Thanks dogmom for starting some new threads.
 
danman09 said:
I'm a DAV and in my late 50's. I have the resources, but the challenges of the public are overwhelming. Having to deal with the loss of ones hearing is devestating depending on your way of life, and the emotional attachment you have to it. I was terminated from my job, for reasons as general as " he didn't do the work as we wanted it done". They have kept my hearing aides, out of malice or at the least with disregard to me at all. Without these prosthesis, I cannot function in society as well without, as I can with them, interviews, the public, even watch the television for the news......I filed a complaint with EEOC, and here I am a year and a half later, and still, I am nowhere.... The public should consider that we don't need but, a fare shake at trying to do for ourselves.
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Good grief, your old employer took your hearing aids out of malice? Am I understanding that correctly? How did that happen? Would you not to the police about that?

Sounds like a discrimination act and you have the ability to sue but sounds like a lawyer would do a better job. NOt that I'm really conversant with all that.

I had an employer who told me once that the writers (highly educated people) I worked with had problems communicating with me because of my hearing and because of that they didn't like talking to me. That was when I only owned one in the canal hearing aid that obviously wasn't working well enough for me. That was also after I explained to each one of the people I worked with how they needed to get my attention before speaking. It was an extremely quiet environment and I became very anxious about my hearing there. After my employer told me this I lost alot more confidence and this is what spurred me to get my new fully digital hearing aids for both ears. Life has be much better since then.

I also took it upon myself to go to the head of our department to tell him what my boss had said to me. According to company policy she should have been fired. However, true to American form (I'm from New Zealand) they removed her from managing people in the department for a year instead. During that time they worked on undermining me in every way possible. My punishment for fighting back in a workplace and state that has no protections really for the workers.

I hope you get justice on this. I certainly didn't pursue mine. I just don't like to work anymore in this country!
 
Back to the topic of adjustments--let's talk about ISOLATION.

I've noticed that I've become more isolated. I've always been an introverted person. I prefer reading, working out and hanging out with my family. Recently, I had a chance to go to a dinner/dance. I thought about how difficult it would be to communication in that environment and I decided not to go. It's not so much this particular event because I didn't really want to go. It's a trend of isolation that I noticed.

Anyone notice that you have become more isolated? How do you cope with isolation? How can we prevent becoming isolated? TIA for any ideas you share.
 
sallylou said:
Back to the topic of adjustments--let's talk about ISOLATION.

I've noticed that I've become more isolated. I've always been an introverted person. I prefer reading, working out and hanging out with my family. Recently, I had a chance to go to a dinner/dance. I thought about how difficult it would be to communication in that environment and I decided not to go. It's not so much this particular event because I didn't really want to go. It's a trend of isolation that I noticed.

Anyone notice that you have become more isolated? How do you cope with isolation? How can we prevent becoming isolated? TIA for any ideas you share.
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I deal with these things by making sure I am in a position that I can lipread my friends. Whether that means putting myself in the middle or sittling opposite them, whatever it takes and they also help me out. One of my hearing friends who had great difficulty in hearing in loud environments always said she envied my ability to lipread as I did better than her when in noisy environments.

Anyhow if it's dancing I'm more liable to be dancing than talking. Also I had a group of very loud friends! I don't know, I just deal with things as they come along and if I begin to avoid situations because of my hearing then so what?
 
Gee, thanks for making my concerns seem insignificant and pathological. I'm 45 YO, so my dance club days are over. I hang out with a more sedate crowd.
 
sallylou said:
Gee, thanks for making my concerns seem insignificant and pathological. I'm 45 YO, so my dance club days are over. I hang out with a more sedate crowd.
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And I am 50, so what's age got to do with it?

My contention is that when we decide to make adjustments because of our disablities then that's ok! It's ok, you are you and that's ok!
 
I forgot to mention that I spend most of my time on kid activities. I'm a den leader for cub scouts. I volunteer at my kid's school. I like to spend time with my teenager. I'm in a "mom phase" right now. Sorry that I didn't make that clear.
 
sallylou said:
I forgot to mention that I spend most of my time on kid activities. I'm a den leader for cub scouts. I volunteer at my kid's school. I like to spend time with my teenager. I'm in a "mom phase" right now. Sorry that I didn't make that clear.
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Even though you are involved with Mom activities right now, isolation can still be a problem. It is possible to feel isolated in a big group of people, if you feel you are unable to make a fundamental connection with them. And if you find yourself intentionally isolating, it can be a real problem.

Before I make suggestions, though, I'd like to give the hoh members a chance to share their solutions. If those aren't forthcoming, or aren't helpful, I'll jump in.
 
Thanks, Jillio, for validating my feelings. One of the things that makes AD so helpful is to connect with others who understand. :ty:

I'm most comfortable at camp outs and activities in which there is a common goal. I'm comfortable with my family because they know my needs and are patient with me. :D

I know that you're deferring to the HOH out of respect, but I'd like to hear your suggestions, too.
 
sallylou said:
Thanks, Jillio, for validating my feelings. One of the things that makes AD so helpful is to connect with others who understand. :ty:

I'm most comfortable at camp outs and activities in which there is a common goal. I'm comfortable with my family because they know my needs and are patient with me. :D

I know that you're deferring to the HOH out of respect, but I'd like to hear your suggestions, too.
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You are very welcome. I will give it a couple of hours, and if we haven't had a reply, I'll make a suggestion or two.:)
 
:wave: all :) <long, please take what you will, just sharing my experience>
I will be happy to read Jillio's - and everyones - thoughts too - I was debating about coming in cuz I have not been hoh for long time - but, I have often been in situations where I am the "only", and/or others "get" something and it can be easy to feel confused and alone. It is very much possible to feel disconnected even in group. Perhaps this is not helpful, I don't know, but some things I have learned from having LD and other types of situations is - no matter how I seem to think I "only" feel a certain way, someone else may be struggling right alongside me, silently or un-obviously. For me, taking away all the artificial boundaries we create means to really look inside and see person's true spirit or energy, and see how we are connected in the place without words, without fear. If I am not afraid, I do not feel alone. Connection can happen in a wide variety of ways. One of the things that has helped me on a more concrete level is that I have done a lot of volunteering. You seem to do quite a lot of that, too Sally.
Another thought I had is that I have been with Deaf folks in a group or at festival and maybe I don't understand a lot of the sign and so maybe I end up not really being actively involved - but for me, that's okay. I go with the idea of being in that moment and enjoying what I do and not trying to grasp at all the nuances or taking part in a certain way.
Another thought is to have writing materials with you. When I am with Deaf that's what I do. Especially cuz I have great problem w/ASL numbers due to LD.

When I started taking Tai Chi, I would go and fumble along with a different class other than the basic one I officially was in, and do the all the movements as best I could, although I was not at the "technical" level of most of the people in that particular class- but I just jumped in and imitated and wasn't trying for a certain result, I was just enjoying the attempt. I have problems with spatial orientation and auditory processing also and so learning steps and sequences is challenging. It has taken me several years to get to the point where I am with it today.
:grouphug:
 
WEll I think you are trying to say that when in a situation that you feel unsure of, you can ensure that you are surrounded by people you trust that will help you through it?

At this stage, after 10 years being an immigrant, I think it's easier being HOH than an antsy immigrant that doesn't think like the majority!

It always concerns me when I'm told of other hoh people who have isolated themselves. It's a lonely way to go. I've had to work on my mother and her perceptions of herself as an HOH with zero hearing without aids. It took alot of pushing and information gathering to get her to buy the best hearing aids she could and to buy a telephone for the deaf and to buy a loop system to try out here in the USA before sending her home with it absolutely enthralled.

I have always had the nerve to put myself out there and ask for what I need. There have been times I've been kicked for it, but I've picked myself up and got through it. It takes alot of guts and strength to push through all your fears and insecurities to put yourself out there at other's mercy it seems.

Of course I can still hear enough with hearing aids to get by quite well. I just hope that as I deterioriate that I will manage and stay resourceful and confident.
 
Yes, I have anxiety about being accepted and being able to function. I have good HAs and I manage pretty well. In a loud and overwhelming situation, it's too hard. A party is boring if you can't communicate. I'm happy enough to be ignored my family members at mandated family functions, though. :giggle:

I'm working on learning ASL so I can get involved in the deaf community. I think this will help. :cool2:

Thanks, dogmom, for the reminder that we are all connected. The Dali Lama wrote about this in The Art of Happiness and it's an important concept. It's easy to forget that we're all connected when we live in a society that prizes individualism. :ty:
 
May I ask you, sallylou, how bothersome this problem is for you? Do you find it regularly interferring with doing things that you would like to do, but find yourself not doing because you tend to avoid certain situations? Or is it more of a situation of "Well, I might like to do that, but would just as soon stay home with my family because that is where I prefer to be."?
 
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