Abstinence only: interesting findings

Lighthouse77 said:
I'm sorry but it is not unrealistic, people just want to think it is.

(btw, sex is beautiful when you share it with someone you love. It's only bad when you do with someone you don't care about or you regret it)

I think kids are going to hide it from their parents anyway.. it's a privacy thing. At least hide their first time from their parents.

I mean, would you like your mother come with you to your gyn doctor now that you are a grown woman? I don't teens would either. As sex will always be a private matter.

Sadly, people are able to pull this off with smoking and drugs, but can not tell kids to wait on sex.
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Given the fact that teen pregnancies are on the rise, and STDs are on the rise, it is definately unrealistic to believe that teens will refrain from having sex. Kids don't get pregnant or contract STDs if they aren't sexually active. Since they are getting pregnant and getting STDs, it is pretty obvious that they are having sex. And they always have.
 
Lighthouse77 said:
There's no such thing as safe smoking, that's why people attitude of "SAY NO TO SMOKING" is acceptable, but not asking kids to wait on sex.

i bet you that if condom did not protect people from diseases, people would support abstiences to this day. btw, why should I push "Condom til marriage" when not everyone will use a condom EVERY single time they have sex. Isn't that unrealistic as abstience? Everyone had unprotected sex in their lifetime. look at all those babies.
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Condoms have been around for years and years and years. So have STDs. Abstinence has never been realistic.
 
I am all for abstinence but I also do prompt to make it aware for our youths to take as many protections as possible if they were to become sexually active.

Abstinence on the other hand can be valuable but let's get real here - How many of us have actually practiced abstinence? Maybe few of us do but the majority will eventually not practice abstinence at a point, not just because the peer pressure says so but because of their free will. Temptation and curiosity always gets the best of everyone - So, there's no telling when they will do it at a point.

All we can do is guide them in the correct path and hope for the best. Exposure is another way to do this, not only because of the keen knowledge of what involves with the sexual health but because it is also a valuable tool to use.

Scaring them away probably won't help at all but if we are open and honest with our youth, that may also garner some responses from them to get to be able to open up a little bit more.
 
Lighthouse77 said:
There's no such thing as safe smoking, that's why people attitude of "SAY NO TO SMOKING" is acceptable, but not asking kids to wait on sex.

i bet you that if condom did not protect people from diseases, people would support abstiences to this day. btw, why should I push "Condom til marriage" when not everyone will use a condom EVERY single time they have sex. Isn't that unrealistic as abstience? Everyone had unprotected sex in their lifetime. look at all those babies.
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condom or any protections DO NOT PROTECT you from diseases!!!! It is CLEARLY stated on ALL advertisements and their packagings. It is meant to LOWER the risk of pregnancy. What's better and smart is giving kids the KNOWLEDGE of the risk of sex, STDs, and the protections. It's really entirely up to them on how they do it. Of course - no parents want their kids to have sex. but then of course - no parents want their kids to have a baby at such young age.

the attitude of "SAY NO TO DRUG!" is the same for abstinence program. This kind of repetitive attitude has always been proven ineffective. Simply educate them about it and guide them with open-mind if they made mistake despite of education. This is a lot better than instilling fear of repercussion which is why we keep hearing in news about teen mothers dumping their babies at some garbage dump and some horrible stuff.
 
Jiro said:
condom or any protections DO NOT PROTECT you from diseases!!!! It is CLEARLY stated on ALL advertisements and their packagings. It is meant to LOWER the risk of pregnancy. What's better and smart is giving kids the KNOWLEDGE of the risk of sex, STDs, and the protections. It's really entirely up to them on how they do it. Of course - no parents want their kids to have sex. but then of course - no parents want their kids to have a baby at such young age.

the attitude of "SAY NO TO DRUG!" is the same for abstinence program. This kind of repetitive attitude has always been proven ineffective. Simply educate them about it and guide them with open-mind if they made mistake despite of education. This is a lot better than instilling fear of repercussion which is why we keep hearing in news about teen mothers dumping their babies at some garbage dump and some horrible stuff.
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Just say no to anything doesn't work with a teenager. They are at a developmental stage when "no" is nothing more than a challenge to them to do it and assert their independence.
 
Jolie77 said:
I am all for abstinence but I also do prompt to make it aware for our youths to take as many protections as possible if they were to become sexually active.

Abstinence on the other hand can be valuable but let's get real here - How many of us have actually practiced abstinence? Maybe few of us do but the majority will eventually not practice abstinence at a point, not just because the peer pressure says so but because of their free will. Temptation and curiosity always gets the best of everyone - So, there's no telling when they will do it at a point.

All we can do is guide them in the correct path and hope for the best. Exposure is another way to do this, not only because of the keen knowledge of what involves with the sexual health but because it is also a valuable tool to use.

Scaring them away probably won't help at all but if we are open and honest with our youth, that may also garner some responses from them to get to be able to open up a little bit more.
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:gpost:

Talking hoestly with our kids about sex is never comfortable...for parent or child. But it beats the heck out of a 13 year old girl giving birth, or a 16 year old contracting HIV.
 
Jiro said:
condom or any protections DO NOT PROTECT you from diseases!!!! It is CLEARLY stated on ALL advertisements and their packagings. It is meant to LOWER the risk of pregnancy. What's better and smart is giving kids the KNOWLEDGE of the risk of sex, STDs, and the protections. It's really entirely up to them on how they do it. Of course - no parents want their kids to have sex. but then of course - no parents want their kids to have a baby at such young age.

the attitude of "SAY NO TO DRUG!" is the same for abstinence program. This kind of repetitive attitude has always been proven ineffective. Simply educate them about it and guide them with open-mind if they made mistake despite of education. This is a lot better than instilling fear of repercussion which is why we keep hearing in news about teen mothers dumping their babies at some garbage dump and some horrible stuff.
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lets also get real, How many of us pratice safe sex all the time? People just don't like condom so they are better off waiting til marriage.
 
Lighthouse77 said:
lets also get real, How many of us pratice safe sex all the time? People just don't like condom so they are better off waiting til marriage.
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I hate to break the bad news to you, but marraige does not mean you are not at risk for STDs.
 
Lighthouse77 said:
lets also get real, How many of us pratice safe sex all the time? People just don't like condom so they are better off waiting til marriage.
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well - how many of us practice safe driving all the time? Point is - it's better to do sex while being well-informed about it than none. It's called "educated risk."
 
jillio said:
:gpost:

Talking hoestly with our kids about sex is never comfortable...for parent or child. But it beats the heck out of a 13 year old girl giving birth, or a 16 year old contracting HIV.
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Indeed - I mean, We all know that it is a 'sticky' conversation to bring on the table especially with the teens. I know I wasn't even comfortable talking about it with my mother, much less with my father too.

Getting past the 'awkwardness' could definitely pave way for both sides to become a bit more comfortable to talk about it but of course, it doesn't work for every one.

Lighthouse77 said:
lets also get real, How many of us pratice safe sex all the time? People just don't like condom so they are better off waiting til marriage.
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You're correct, Not everyone practices safe sex and some don't even like wearing condom because of the way it feels but however - What's the harm of them not knowing about it? I think when they know about it, it is also effective rather than being virtually clueless of it, ya know?
 
Jolie77 said:
I am all for abstinence but I also do prompt to make it aware for our youths to take as many protections as possible if they were to become sexually active.

Abstinence on the other hand can be valuable but let's get real here - How many of us have actually practiced abstinence? Maybe few of us do but the majority will eventually not practice abstinence at a point, not just because the peer pressure says so but because of their free will. Temptation and curiosity always gets the best of everyone - So, there's no telling when they will do it at a point.

All we can do is guide them in the correct path and hope for the best. Exposure is another way to do this, not only because of the keen knowledge of what involves with the sexual health but because it is also a valuable tool to use.

Scaring them away probably won't help at all but if we are open and honest with our youth, that may also garner some responses from them to get to be able to open up a little bit more.
Click to expand...


I have a problem with this underline word. I don't think I would be honest with myself or my child if I feel marriage is important. Like I said, I do think teaching about birth control is important (I mean, I would teach my child how to do laundry, how to cook, I don't see the reason to hold her back from birth control and marriage if I feel she need to know about it before she start a life on her own) . So yes, I will be honest with myself, but not like everyone want me to be. Maybe just say, Just lie to our youth how we really feel and teach them birth control.
 
Lighthouse77 said:
I have a problem with this underline word. I don't think I am honest with myself or my child if I feel marriage is important. Like I said, I do think teaching about birth control is important (I mean, I would teach my child how to do laundry, how to cook, I don't see the reason to hold her back from birth control and marriage if I feel she need to know about it before she start a life on her own) . I would be lying. So yes, I will be honest with myself, but not like everyone want me to be. Maybe just say, Just lie to our youth how we really feel and teach them birth control.
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I understand what you're getting at. As for having a family values with sex and marriage - that both goes hand in hand. I would be lying if I said it didn't but it does.

Just because not everyone else wants you to not to be honest doesn't mean that you shouldn't. All you can do is just do what you think is right and what is the best for yourself.

I'm just saying that if we are able to be more open with our children and to inter react with them about the sexual health issues and the moral values that comes along with it - You'd be surprised to see how open they will get to be with you. It may not be something that you don't like to do but if that does not happen - Who would be there to pick up the blame? You or the child?
 
jillio said:
I hate to break the bad news to you, but marraige does not mean you are not at risk for STDs.
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but it is a "educated risk"

btw, that's why I said teach condom to married people because I know there are still risk, and I know that spouse do cheat. In Africa, married women end up with AIDs from their husband. To make it worst, they end up with a child and they really don't want to go through abortion.
 
Lighthouse77 said:
but it is a "educated risk"

btw, that's why I said teach condom to married people because I know there are still risk, and I know that spouse do cheat.
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And unmarried people should not have the opportunity to make an educated decision just because they are not married. By teaching condoms to married people only, you put the majority of the population at risk.
 
as my other post, I'm concern for the children. more and more children are living in a single parent homes. Unmarried people can decide for themselves. but they should not keep the teaching the importance having both parents at home away from people just because they don't want to get marry.
 
Lighthouse77 said:
as my other post, I'm concern for the children. more and more children are living in a single parent homes. Unmarried people can decide for themselves. but they should not keep the teaching the importance having both parents at home away from people just because they don't want to get marry.
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I just want to be sure and to clear this one out --

Are you saying that unmarried people should not teach the importance of safe sex to the youth just because they are not married?

OR

Are you saying that just because they are not married doesn't mean that it paves way for teaching about the safe sex?
 
Single parent homes are another topic all together. It really has nothing to do with the teaching of comprehensive sex ed.
 
Jolie77 said:
I just want to be sure and to clear this one out --

Are you saying that unmarried people should not teach the importance of safe sex to the youth just because they are not married?

OR

Are you saying that just because they are not married doesn't mean that it paves way for teaching about the safe sex?
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I'm saying that they should brush off family value just because they don't want to get marry. or tell the school "Stop teaching about the important of marriage because I don't want to get marry" But we all know that most people will have children someday..

They can practice safe sex, that's their choice, but because so many people don't care about marriage anymore, more children are living in a single parent homes. And I just don't think it is a good idea to brush off marriage.
 
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