About this Deaf Culture thing...

[jillio]

I know that my acceptance of being Bilaterally deaf since December 20, 2006 is manifested in actuality by getting a Cochlear Implant. I will always be Bilaterally deaf till death.

Implanted-Sunnybrook Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07

No, your resistance to deafness is manifested in your actually getting a cochlear implant. It has virtually nothing to do with your acceptance, but rather, your lack of acceptance.

 

[jillio]

Bottesini: I am only describing a "condition"-not voluntarily embraced.

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07

Self pity.

 

[jillio]

I never was a part of a Deaf community , there was none in my town growing up and when I tried to be part of it in college I was rejected because I never learned ASL! When a person is rejected by their own family for being HOH is hard to feel that they will be welcome by strangers. I think a person should be given a chance to learn about the Deaf Culture and not be judge so quickly if they do not know a lot about the Deaf Culture.

I think that perhaps what you are seeing as judgement is not so much judging you for not knowing ASL, but rather, an indication of how much the language is tied to the culture. It is simply expected that, if you wish to join into Deaf Culture, you will learn ASL in order to communicate with the other members of that culture. They want to form friendships with you,not be your ASL tutor.

It is true that when one has been rejected by their family, it is difficult to understand that there is another group that will accept you as you are. Rejection makes us leary of even trying to form close relationships with others. But, neither is it fair to yourself or others to let what happened with your birth family get in the way of developing close bonds with others.

I cannot recall a single time that I have felt rejected by Deaf Culture. In fact, I will say now, and have always said, that I (and my child) were welcomed with open arms. I went there to learn, and learn I did. In the process of learning a language, and learning what experiences my son would go through as he grew up, I also developed many close friendships that are a valuable part of the person I am today. The only instances in which I have seen Deaf Culture be rejecting is when the other person has an objectionable attititude, and tries to inflict their hearing way of life into Deaf Culture.

 

[jillio]

I admit I'm tired of deaf culture. Sometimes I need a break to get away from deaf ppl becuz I never understand communicating with deaf ppl and even, with 'terp. I'm still learning how to read and write a good english more than sign language. I didn't see my old friends for approx. 30y.

But your need to get away is something coming from you, and not from the culture. Right now, your values appear to be totally opposite of Deaf Cultural values.

 

[Beach girl]

Why the constant bullying of drphil? I don't get it. Are you saying he is self-pitying and lacking in acceptance of being deaf because he got a CI? Do you think that is true for all CI users? I don't understand the hostility toward his choices.

 

[jillio]

Why the constant bullying of drphil? I don't get it. Are you saying he is self-pitying and lacking in acceptance of being deaf because he got a CI? Do you think that is true for all CI users? I don't understand the hostility toward his choices.

You perceive it as bullying. Your perceptions are mistaken. Confrontation of false beliefs is therapeutic, not to mention educational.

I say exactly what I mean. I detected self pity in his post, and I stated, "Self pity."

There is no hostility toward his choices. The hostility felt by many members of this board is the direct result of his attitude. I started this thread because every other culture thread had deteriorated into name calling and ad hominem attacks. Drphil's insulting manner of communication has had a large bit of responsibility for that. If you will check my OP, I requested that if you had no interest in Deaf Culture, there was no need to post in this thread.

Now, back to the topic. Deaf Culture.

 

[drphil]

As pointed many times- some of the reactions surely show exactly with the "deaf community" really think.Real friendly!!! Thanks to the many comments here-still glad NOT to be involved with such "?????????????????' individuals.

Gee; does a self reflection from multiple comments say anything? Why react if not true re: comments? Sorry not a psychologist.

I know this is only a computer screen- from past experience in VampireFreaks.Com

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07

 

[jillio]

As pointed many times- some of the reactions surely show exactly with the "deaf community" really think.Real friendly!!! Thanks to the many comments here-still glad NOT to be involved with such "?????????????????' individuals.

Gee; does a self reflection from multiple comments say anything? Why react if not true re: comments? Sorry not a psychologist.

I know this is only a computer screen- from past experience in VampireFreaks.Com

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07

The reactions are an indication of how specific attitudes toward Deaf Culture receive negative responses. If you are looking at the reason for rejection, you would do well to look at what you did to create such a response in others. Particularly in this area. The old adage,"You get back what you put out" is very true in this case.

VampireFreaks has nothing to do with the reactions you get from the culturally Deaf. Please stay on topic.

 

[whatdidyousay!]

I think that perhaps what you are seeing as judgement is not so much judging you for not knowing ASL, but rather, an indication of how much the language is tied to the culture. It is simply expected that, if you wish to join into Deaf Culture, you will learn ASL in order to communicate with the other members of that culture. They want to form friendships with you,not be your ASL tutor.

It is true that when one has been rejected by their family, it is difficult to understand that there is another group that will accept you as you are. Rejection makes us leary of even trying to form close relationships with others. But, neither is it fair to yourself or others to let what happened with your birth family get in the way of developing close bonds with others.

I cannot recall a single time that I have felt rejected by Deaf Culture. In fact, I will say now, and have always said, that I (and my child) were welcomed with open arms. I went there to learn, and learn I did. In the process of learning a language, and learning what experiences my son would go through as he grew up, I also developed many close friendships that are a valuable part of the person I am today. The only instances in which I have seen Deaf Culture be rejecting is when the other person has an objectionable attititude, and tries to inflict their hearing way of life into Deaf Culture.

I had no needed to learn ASL when I was growing up as there was no around to use it with. I only knew of one other girl that was HOH and we did not get along. I was going to try and learn some ASL in college but I got ill and have drop out. The deaf students in the office knew I was a new student and they should tried to to made me feel welcome instead of rejecting me for not knowing ASL! If the deaf students knew so much about the Deaf Culture, they should at least realize that someone from my generation was not always taught ASL! I was not trying to change a person way of life! There was no way I knew if the person use ASL and I not like someone thinking that I know ASL because I wear HA! I am Jewish but it does not mean I know how to speak Hebrew! I think it is shame there is so much prejudice
in the Deaf Culture! I committed no crime trying to ask a question as new HOH student in the office for the Deaf and HOH in college!

 

[jillio]

I had no needed to learn ASL when I was growing up as there was no around to use it with. I only knew of one other girl that was HOH and we did not get along. I was going to try and learn some ASL in college but I got ill and have drop out. The deaf students in the office knew I was a new student and they should tried to to made me feel welcome instead of rejecting me for not knowing ASL! If the deaf students knew so much about the Deaf Culture, they should at least realize that someone from my generation was not always taught ASL! I was not trying to change a person way of life! There was no way I knew if the person use ASL and I not like someone thinking that I know ASL because I wear HA! I am Jewisih but it does not mean I know how to speak Hebrew! I think it is shame there is so much prejudice
in the Deaf Culture! I committed no crime trying to ask a question as new HOH student in the office for the Deaf and HOH in college!

Again, you see rejection there. I don't. Nor do I see where anyone assumed that just because you wear an HA, you know sign.

Did they answer the question you asked when you were in the office? That is what they are for, not socializing.

You cannot make a judgement about a whole culture based on one bad experience that had nothing to do with culture.

The question here is not whether you like Deaf Culture. The question is why do those that don't want to participate feel the need to run the entire culture down?

 

[shel90]

As pointed many times- some of the reactions surely show exactly with the "deaf community" really think.Real friendly!!! Thanks to the many comments here-still glad NOT to be involved with such "?????????????????' individuals.

Gee; does a self reflection from multiple comments say anything? Why react if not true re: comments? Sorry not a psychologist.

I know this is only a computer screen- from past experience in VampireFreaks.Com

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07

Again, you have been told a million times, if you are not interested in being a part of Deaf culture, fine but why make comments like these?

Do you want to be a part of Deaf culture or not?

If so, then what will you be willing to do to accept and respect the values of Deaf culture.

If not, then stop questioning everything about ASL and Deaf culture values.

Cant have your cake and eat it too.

 

[shel90]

I had no needed to learn ASL when I was growing up as there was no around to use it with. I only knew of one other girl that was HOH and we did not get along. I was going to try and learn some ASL in college but I got ill and have drop out. The deaf students in the office knew I was a new student and they should tried to to made me feel welcome instead of rejecting me for not knowing ASL! If the deaf students knew so much about the Deaf Culture, they should at least realize that someone from my generation was not always taught ASL! I was not trying to change a person way of life! There was no way I knew if the person use ASL and I not like someone thinking that I know ASL because I wear HA! I am Jewish but it does not mean I know how to speak Hebrew! I think it is shame there is so much prejudice
in the Deaf Culture! I committed no crime trying to ask a question as new HOH student in the office for the Deaf and HOH in college!

they should have known? What if they didnt? Maybe instead of assuming that, ask them if they are aware that there are many deaf people like you who weren't exposed to ASL growing up. By making assumptions and getting upset about them doesnt help. Always ask.

 

[Glenn]

I had no needed to learn ASL when I was growing up as there was no around to use it with. I only knew of one other girl that was HOH and we did not get along. I was going to try and learn some ASL in college but I got ill and have drop out. The deaf students in the office knew I was a new student and they should tried to to made me feel welcome instead of rejecting me for not knowing ASL! If the deaf students knew so much about the Deaf Culture, they should at least realize that someone from my generation was not always taught ASL! I was not trying to change a person way of life! There was no way I knew if the person use ASL and I not like someone thinking that I know ASL because I wear HA! I am Jewish but it does not mean I know how to speak Hebrew! I think it is shame there is so much prejudice
in the Deaf Culture! I committed no crime trying to ask a question as new HOH student in the office for the Deaf and HOH in college!

You sound like you are trying to cast blame or assign responsibility to an outcome that you didn't like or want.

I have learned in life that problems between individuals or groups are hardly ever the entire fault of one of the individuals or groups. In other words, some of the responsibility for every problem situation a person encounters lies with both parties. What did you do to resolve this situation?

 

[whatdidyousay!]

Again, you see rejection there. I don't. Nor do I see where anyone assumed that just because you wear an HA, you know sign.

Did they answer the question you asked when you were in the office? That is what they are for, not socializing.

You cannot make a judgement about a whole culture based on one bad experience that had nothing to do with culture.

The question here is not whether you like Deaf Culture. The question is why do those that don't want to participate feel the need to run the entire culture down?

Where did I say I wanted to socialize at the office!! I when there to get a note taker! And NO they did not help! I said they rejected me and said nothing! I only got looks that could kill! I said I was never part of the Deaf Culture growing up , I am not trying to run the whole Deaf Culture down and you assumed I when to the office to socialize which is not true! And that is putting a judgement on me!

 

[jillio]

Where did I say I wanted to socialize at the office!! I when there to get a note taker! And NO they did not help! I said they rejected me and said nothing! I only got looks that could kill! I said I was never part of the Deaf Culture growing up , I am not trying to run the whole Deaf Culture down and you assumed I when to the office to socialize which is not true! And that is putting a judgement on me!

They refused to provide you a note taker or to let you meet with a student services counselor because you could not sign? What college was this? How, exactly, did you approach the workers in the student services office?

I'm not judging you at all. Simply pointing out that your opinion appears to be very biased through emotion and that leads to false perceptions.

 

[drphil]

Ostensible this forum is for persons who are deaf/hearing Impaired and others with interest. Their ongoing experiences-- supposedly.

I know I am bilaterally deaf since December 20, 2006 and do have an Cochlear Implant.

Implanted Sunnybrook-Advanced Bionics- Harmony activated Aug/07

 

[jillio]

Ostensible this forum is for persons who are deaf/hearing Impaired and others with interest. Their ongoing experiences-- supposedly.

I know I am bilaterally deaf since December 20, 2006 and do have an Cochlear Implant.

Implanted Sunnybrook-Advanced Bionics- Harmony activated Aug/07

**jillio shaking head sadly** Bott, where are you?

This thread is about DEAF CULTURE. It has nothing to do with the date you think you became deaf or your CI. If you can't address the topic, please don't bother posting in this thread.

 

[Glenn]

Try this one:

A friend of mine texted me the other day and said she read online somewhere that the deaf community disapprove of ASL being used where there are no deaf. She wondered if that were true or not.

She wants to sign a song in ASL at her church. She thinks ASL is a beautiful and visual language and the only one that can be seen.

I gave her my thoughts on that. What do you ADers think?

 

[flip]

Try this one:

A friend of mine texted me the other day and said she read online somewhere that the deaf community disapprove of ASL being used where there are no deaf. She wondered if that were true or not.

She wants to sign a song in ASL at her church. She thinks ASL is a beautiful and visual language and the only one that can be seen.

I gave her my thoughts on that. What do you ADers think?

I think it depends on how one use it. If it's to collect money for the "needed", or to exploit deafness, I would find it extremely insulting. But if it's for the love of ASL, and what it can express that spoken languages can't, then why not.

To me it depends, one have to use common sense.

 

[drphil]

I guess if one want to use ASL at a church service perhaps suggests how many people-there-would understand what was communicated by ASL? Worth while?

Implanted A B Harmony activated Aug/07