a very serious question for men here...

Just noticed this... Not to bring up an old issue here but let me explain what happened.

First of all let me state that spice and myself did work this out.

One night i was gaming online with some friends in EVE. I was the CEO of the ingame corporation Spice was a member of. There was an issue of a war goin on with some former clan mates who were also playing EVE and disrupting the corporation i founded. The deal was i wanted to go to war in the game and spice strongly opposed. I refused to consider her feelings on the matter and wanted to shoot at the guys in game and blow up their ships and assets. Not a problem to most people its just a game which in fact is designed to blow stuff up... thats why we play. She got angry i would not listen to her about it and got up and slammed her keyboard down. She walked out of the room crying about it and i made the sign at her for "crazy" and she lost it...

i was sitting in a corner at my desk facing the left. She threw back her arm and took one hell of a swing to my head and hit me in the eye and jaw. Without thinking and acting strictly on reaction on slapped her back and i did so hard. we both stopped at that point but i was pissed at her. It was a fight over a game... and to me the whole thing was ridiculous. When i calmed down ofcourse i apologized.

Now what she was trying to make me stop from doin WAS NOT to stop from hurting her like many of the posts refered to in this thread but to get me to stop from goin through with a war declaration in a video game.

Now ive seen some people here respond and say they would never hit a person or loved one back of the opposite sex. I was raised much the same way however when it happens to you ... you often do not have time to sit and rationally think about what just took place. it just happened. I do not make habit of abusing women and do not have a history of such. Although i personally have been in many relationship with some other crazy chicks who resort to hitting.

Do i think i was justified .. no. do i feel bad about it... yes.

Angel posted here tho and i think all people should apply this to their thinking. treat others as u would treat them. If u pop off and hit a guy u take the risk. there is a 50% chance he will hurt ya back. So just dont do it .. ever. If u have a disagreement take a time out. get some fresh air. If u cant leave ( like the door is blocked) just sit and do nuthing til the offender leaves u be long enuff u can.

Now with that said things happen and i read alot of overreacting comments about the topic and i just wanted to clear this up.
 
pek1 said:
I remember when I was about 18 years old and my girlfriend was sitting next to me in the car and her mother was next to the door (that was before seat belts were mandatory like they are now). Anyway, she and I were talking about something and disagreeing about it when she slapped me on the shoulder and said, "That's what I hate about you!" Shortly after that, we broke up because she was looking to meet a guy in a class she had at a different school than I attended. That was fine by me. However, when I found out that she never even introduced herself to him AND didn't even know his name, she wanted to get back together with me. I laughed at her, although we had remained friends up until 1984 when she moved with her family back to Oklahoma and my parents and I moved to Tacoma, Washington.

A few years ago, I had re-established contact with her parents and they were good friends of mine. Carla had a son years ago; the first marriage of hers, the guy used her as a battering ram, the second one was "you go to my church and only my church and your dad is wrong about the Bible..." (never mind the fact that her dad is one of the most godly men I knew). Her and husband #2, from the last I heard before her mom died, are divorced.

Now, the question: Would I date her now? Sure! Back then, after being hit, I don't think so.

Furthermore, a gentleman never hits a lady. A lady never hits a gentleman. If I was hit by my girlfriend, she would go to jail and I would press charges now. She is done and the buck stops here.


Pete
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I need to update this, as I had re-established contact with the girl, as of November 2006. We finally met together over supper in Oklahoma City where she now lives and it went fine. I had a lot of questions for her to answer, she had the same for me.

I won't go into detail, but, after a few days of getting to know each other again, I broke it off because she not only started being the same person I knew (a little manipulating), but also because someone I didn't know. She had, in effect, broken my heart. I broke it off with her for good and prohibited her AND her entire family from ever contacting me again.

Does a guy ever have to put up with mental abuse from a woman? No. Never.
 
If I was straight ...

If some bitch hits me, I'd say "You have hit me. I hope you realize it" then grab a couple of clothes, walk out of the place without coming back for a couple of days, and stay at a friend's.
 
For me, it is not very kind to hit a woman... I stay away from my own lengths between a arguements with a woman... I don't want to be invovled in any violence..... Violence is not good.

But recently, I got punched into the face by a 32 year old woman (I was 19 at the time), at a party, she was very angry with me, and grabbed me to the wall and tried to choke me, you know I know that I can not hit her back, so I tried to push her away to avoid it getting worse, but unfortauntely, I recived a punch on my left cheek and left me a minor bruise... and I told her to stop hitting me after she punched me, Lucky I didnt do anything as I know the rules between these female people.

if you do, you will be in trouble for sure.. I wouldn't do that.
 
I don't think it's right for men to hit women at all, one time my girlfriend & I got in a HUGE fight & she started slapping me. After the 100th slap I finally threw her over my shoulder, took her outside, & sat her on my porch to let her calm down. I'm not sure if I did the right thing, but I had some nasty bruises afterwards.
 
Well like i said normally i wouldnt do such a thing either. I mean from my point of view... i was playing a game with some friends online joking around and gettting ready to open up a can of whup ass on another corp. And i saw her get mad and leave the room and i felt she was acting pretty silly about the whole deal since it is just a game. Now i shouldnt have made the sign for "crazy" at her i knew that makes her upset and i rolled my eyes at her when she asked pleaded with me not to declare war on the guys.

But shortly after that I saw the bright flash and the sting of pain in my face and ears. I simply reacted. i got up and smacked back. I held back enuff as to not bruise her or hurt her but just let her know. and truth is we did both stop fighting. She went off outside and sat down on the porch stunned that did it back and i turned off the game and waited for her to calm down. But i was right pissed for like 35 min. I was in disbelief she struck me and more so because i struck her back.

Im 35 now and ive been in alot of relationships. Ive dated alot of girls and ive stood there and let em wail on me and heres the thing the last 3 that i did let hit me and i just stood there like an honorable guy and take the abuse... lost complete respect for me. They saw me as weak.

This one time i decided to do something different in a split second. And as far as i know spice and myself have managed to work things out. we have had our ups and downs but things always workout. I know she respects me more so than the others i dated who resorted to that abuse. She thinks more now when we get into fights i can see it in her eyes how she weighs things out before confronting me and that is a definite change right there. before she would let loose no matter how small the issue was.

Anyway im not condoning what i did but i am not sure if i would change what happened.

but to everyone else... i mean if ur around a guy or woman who goes out of his/her way to beat u down both mentally and physically u need to re-evaluate what your doing with him or her. One incident maybe two is not really enuff reason to just ditch someone u love.

People anymore look for just about any reason to get out of a relationship... he doesnt dress the way i like or she cut her hair the wrong way. Like divorce... its too easy these days to divorce. I think if u really fell in love with someone if u remember what it is u fell in love with to begin with and focus on that more so than the little things that annoy u... u would be much happier. I see that with alot of people.
 
Liebling:-))) said:
Well, it's hard for me to answer to this because it was happened to me at long time ago before I married.

My ex-boyfriend & I live together for over 1 year after know each other for 6 months. I wasn't realized that he's violence and bad temper. Yes he hurt me and affect my good esteem... until one terrible day... He beat me up on the floor and I rolled and ran to kitchen to get kitchen knife to threat him. He said I can't do that. I said to him that I mean it serious but he said, "come on...." I went to him and cut his chest with kitchen knife few times (not stabbed but just cut him). I leave him stare with shock and ran real fast as I can to neighbor (we grow up together)... I was nervousbreakdown... She called the police and tell them what happened. Police saw blood on his chest and got him out of my apartment and advised him to go doctor. Other police calm me down and told me what I doing right to defend myself and advised me to change lock, phone numbers, etc and go to Court to get RO.

It's self-defensive what you did if someone hurt you back... ?
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I never thought about my post until I saw those post... It's one year old post....

I am surprised that nobody answer my question...
 
Yes Liebling what u did was self defense. u were scared for your life. in a case like that where it escalates such as it read. You were justified in your actions. First off he beat ya up... second he folllowed after u into the kitchen and called u out... daring you to do something. which from what im am picturing you were backed into a corner someplace in the kitchen and had to get past him if u wanted to leave. Now the thing here is u ran for the kitchen in the first place.... perhaps it was closer than to try and make it to the front door or another exit. But from the way ur story reads is he asked for it. So yes it was self defence.

As for mine and spice's situation im not exactly sure if what i did was self defence ... i was backed into a corner yes and i was sitting down when the first hit took place. Second is shes not very big to begin with. Back then she was 98lbs soaking wet. when she hit me in the same fluid motion i threw the chair out of my way that i was sitting in and swung at her open handed. I did not flat out deck. it was enuff to shake her a little bit, thats all. Also this was not the first time she had hit me. Usually it would be a simple smack or two or three on the arm or something like that but it was ineffective and i showed no reaction. which may have been why she went up to the next level and hit me in the face from a blind spot. lol God love her she's learning tactics :)

Then i think she posted this post after i went to bed. I've known about the thread for sometime but didnt feel it would help matters at the time by sharing my side of the story without it turning into a flame session. But later i suffered from it. because a guy who has been after her for our entire relationship among others advised her to leave me in this thread while posing as her "friend". what im saying here is because i did not contribute to the post u can see if u read back thru it... that people misread or mistook what happened and advised her to get out of our relationship. some did so because they had biased cause to get her to leave me. They know who they are. Point is they failed. We have managed to get thru things together and i think were both looking forward to spending a long loving relationship together.
 
Cheri said:
I don't think anyone should hit anyone, If you cannot control your temper, It's better go somewhere to cool it down alone.

It doesn't make it right for a woman to hit a guy, and for a guy to hit a woman, or a woman hit a woman, or a man hit a man. If someone doesn't know how to discuss any situation in a civil matter, then maybe it's best to walk away. ;)
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Exactly. The best way to prevent being hit is to not be the one to hit first. However, in the case of domestic violence, the one that does the abuse is usually counting on the other person not hitting back. People who engage in domestic violence--either men or women--are very cowardly. They continue because they think they can get away with it with no consequences.
 
Liebling:-))) said:
I never thought about my post until I saw those post... It's one year old post....

I am surprised that nobody answer my question...
Click to expand...

I don't recall seeing it, but after reading it here, I believe you were in the right. However, if I had been you, after getting the knife in my hand, I would have ordered him (not requested), actually demanded that he leave. I would have notified the police at once and obtained a restraining order on him.
 
PlazmaKS said:
Well like i said normally i wouldnt do such a thing either. I mean from my point of view... i was playing a game with some friends online joking around and gettting ready to open up a can of whup ass on another corp. And i saw her get mad and leave the room and i felt she was acting pretty silly about the whole deal since it is just a game. Now i shouldnt have made the sign for "crazy" at her i knew that makes her upset and i rolled my eyes at her when she asked pleaded with me not to declare war on the guys.

But shortly after that I saw the bright flash and the sting of pain in my face and ears. I simply reacted. i got up and smacked back. I held back enuff as to not bruise her or hurt her but just let her know. and truth is we did both stop fighting. She went off outside and sat down on the porch stunned that did it back and i turned off the game and waited for her to calm down. But i was right pissed for like 35 min. I was in disbelief she struck me and more so because i struck her back.

Im 35 now and ive been in alot of relationships. Ive dated alot of girls and ive stood there and let em wail on me and heres the thing the last 3 that i did let hit me and i just stood there like an honorable guy and take the abuse... lost complete respect for me. They saw me as weak.

This one time i decided to do something different in a split second. And as far as i know spice and myself have managed to work things out. we have had our ups and downs but things always workout. I know she respects me more so than the others i dated who resorted to that abuse. She thinks more now when we get into fights i can see it in her eyes how she weighs things out before confronting me and that is a definite change right there. before she would let loose no matter how small the issue was.

Anyway im not condoning what i did but i am not sure if i would change what happened.

but to everyone else... i mean if ur around a guy or woman who goes out of his/her way to beat u down both mentally and physically u need to re-evaluate what your doing with him or her. One incident maybe two is not really enuff reason to just ditch someone u love.

People anymore look for just about any reason to get out of a relationship... he doesnt dress the way i like or she cut her hair the wrong way. Like divorce... its too easy these days to divorce. I think if u really fell in love with someone if u remember what it is u fell in love with to begin with and focus on that more so than the little things that annoy u... u would be much happier. I see that with alot of people.
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PlazmaKS,

Regardless if it was a game or real life, you were assaulted and should have pressed charges. Spice sounds as if she is unstable and, let me ask you, what does the Bible say about an unstable woman? Get away from her.
 
Pek1 or Pete, thank you for your concern but i think im gonna stick this one out. Spice and myself have been thru alot yes but there is alot more to our story than just that one incident. One thing that that i really think was eating at her during that time was she moved away from her home town 9 hrs away to be with me. She didnt go out and find friends and when she did they either tried to take advantage of her for being deaf or whatever or just thought they might have a shot to get in her pants etc. Anyway it was a rough 3 yrs for her here. I am hearing and its been a challenge for us both in the area of communication but not one im willing to back down from.

We both have grown and she is now back in her home state. She seems to be in alot better spirits there. So hopefully whatever demons she might have had have eased up on her. shes around other deaf friends shes known and has her family just a few short hrs away. I myself will be joining her there in the near future. I understand what your saying and all about being unstable.. but truthfully ive never met an emotionally stable woman or girl. I'm not convinced it would be any easier to just up and give up on her. i mean too this was over a year ago. and the matter is done with. I was raised in ahosuefull of women 4 sisters and my mom. And being the only guy there I never had any rest. I figured it out that they have about 1 week of sanity for each of them and have found that applys to most women. Not to over generalize but the females have Pre menstral, Post menstral, then the actual Menstral and one week of peace every month. I know that sounds bad but there is some truth to it lol. I have first hand experience.

Besides i think id be bored to death if my mate wasnt at least a little feisty.

yea im pretty happy withher atm but thanks.

As far as what the bible says... well it says alot. Not all of us agree with what the bible says. If i did then i would believe in talking lions and various other sorts of things. All roads lead to the center anyway like a web and religion shouldnt be a factor. I find it difficult and i know this might be blasphemous to some and i dont mean to offend but this is my own personal take on things)... from what i understand the bible was spoken by God and written down by man. If God did talk to man... im almost positive that whoever was taking noted and writing this down got it wrong. We all know how much one little word can change the meaning of things. I mean have u ever tried to explain yourself to an Ant? I find it hard to believe in stories written by men who were probably wearing very hot clothing and lounging around in the sun dehydrated and starving. No doubt they had "visions and heard voices" and it probably didnt help none that he most likely ate some sort of plant that might of compounded it all.

This doesnt mean i dont believe in GOD i do believe in something up there or around us. But im not sure any book has all the answers. And if they do have such a book regarding what to do about about our opposite genders that actually works... The entire order of the universe would fold up and implode.

But seriously thank you for the advice. :)
 
The way I see, neither should hit, regardless if a man or a woman. Nowhere I see by permitting a woman to hit a man, but a man cannot hit a woman. Should be, do not harm one another, no matter if you are a woman or a man. I don't agree by saying, never lay a hand on a woman. What I agree, do not lay hand on anybody no matter who, which or what. Man have their right to defend as much as a woman can.
 
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