a very serious question for men here...

*chiming in again*
I do believe about as strongly as AJ.... maybe it was too many Popeye cartoons when I was a kid, but you never under any circumstances hit a woman. When I was 16 almost 17 years old, I was pretty serious with a girl, and I came back from spring break visiting my grandparents to discover that she had cheated on me that week I was away (I've already told you the whole story, but I'll summarize here). When she admitted it, I didn't hit her, instead I re-aggravated the fracture in my fist by hitting the roof of my car (original injury was a result of a theft of my property which I ended up getting the kid sent to Juvenile detention for a couple years). The point is, I took my frustrations out on a hard inanimate object because of my strong belief against hitting a woman.

It just so happens that that ex-gf contacted me thru internet a few years later and says she still wishes to have me back even tho she has husband and 2 kids. Anyways........

I can understand Taylor's perspective as law enforcement, Im sure he comes across some domestic cases that the woman could be rather large, and my example of holding arms to keep from her hitting me, isn't enough. However Spice, as most everyone in this thread has stated, there is no excuse for a guy to hit a girl. First time it happens, your next words should be 'Goodbye'.
 
SimpleMan said:
Spice, as most everyone in this thread has stated, there is no excuse for a guy to hit a girl. First time it happens, your next words should be 'Goodbye'.
Click to expand...


Anyone shouldn't hit anyone, not just the guys. I don't think women should hit men either. It goes both ways. The law don't just only protected women, they protected both parties (Men and Women)
 
SpiceHD said:
if a girl hit you... not neccessary closed fist .. can be a slap on arm or on face... would u hit her back? if she hit u with closed fist... will u hit her back?
if yes.. why?
if no why not?
this question is very important to me so please... no flaming, no off topic, etc
Click to expand...
SimpleMan said:
I wonder why this is directed at me. Yes I know there are battered men out there, but that has no bearing on this topic, and I didn't bring it up. I still won't hit a woman, and I ask you to please stay on topic for my friend.
Click to expand...
Roadrunner said:
I don't think rockdrummer was intentionally directing this at you--.Although, I believe what rockdrummer's is bringing up calls for a thread of its own as that is really an entirely different topic matter. Wouldn't you think so rockdrummer? ;)
Click to expand...
With all due respect, I believe my comments were on topic. Remember SpiceHD asked "if yes..why?" I was responding to that question of why a man might hit a woman when I referred to battered men. I was trying to make a point that I believe addressed the question. A person (man or woman) can only take so much before they fight back. I didn't mean to direct it at anyone and was just playing devils advocate. At the risk of sounding off topic I will say that I would leave the situation permanently if it degraded to violence. I do agree that the subject of battered men is a whole different thread and was not trying to take this thread down that path. I am sorry for the misunderstanding.
 
rockdrummer,

You're right on topic, She asked a few different questions in this entire thread and you were being helpful, I believe. ;)


Yep, SpiceHD slap is wrong, It gives nobody a right to put a hand on anyone not even a slap in the face, or a punch in the face, or throwing objects at someone.
 
waht is a define of abuse?

is it something where a girl or a boy who get beat up all the time? or is it just one hit or two that can be abuse too??
 
SpiceHD said:
so the girl who slapped deserved to get hit?
Click to expand...


No, nobody deserved it, If one who strike first, should not get one back. The person who got slapped should have just phoned the police and press charge or walk away. ;)
 
rockdrummer said:
With all due respect, I believe my comments were on topic. Remember SpiceHD asked "if yes..why?" I was responding to that question of why a man might hit a woman when I referred to battered men. I was trying to make a point that I believe addressed the question. A person (man or woman) can only take so much before they fight back. I didn't mean to direct it at anyone and was just playing devils advocate. At the risk of sounding off topic I will say that I would leave the situation permanently if it degraded to violence. I do agree that the subject of battered men is a whole different thread and was not trying to take this thread down that path. I am sorry for the misunderstanding.
Click to expand...


No worries dude. It's just that I personally avoid violence in any case, although I know I can handle myself and although not a big person, if trouble starts at a party, I get in to help straighten things out. I'm confident in my abilities as the son of a US Marine who never lost a fight against even bigger guys when I was young. In fights in general I will stand my ground and always have had guys much bigger than me back down (I will not throw first punch). I have not thrown any punch at anyone at all since I was 18 (except for my brother once on our europe trip after he decked me), and I will never under any circumstances hit a woman.
 
SpiceHD said:
waht is a define of abuse?

is it something where a girl or a boy who get beat up all the time? or is it just one hit or two that can be abuse too??
Click to expand...


There is a lot of define for abuse, When it comes to putting a hand on one another, that is consider abuse, no matter how many times you've been hit or if you hit someone else, it still consider abuse. Abuse is another word of causing harm to the person resulting physical harm, mental and emotional abuse.
 
Yes, Cheri is right.... Abuse can be something other than physical. Emotional/Mental abuse isn't any different.
 
i know a lot abt Abuse... been through all type of it ... but what throw me off is.. . is ONE hit an abuse? i mean i have been in an abusive relationship where i could have died but didnt... im positive i have bruises in every part of my body from that relationship alone... however.. one hit or maybe 2 hits then stop never again for rest of night. Is that really an abuse? and also dont forget the fact that it was a reaction to a slap from a girl. so im a bit confused there. Cuz girl started violence and it was only to meant to make a guy stop.
 
Even if you got hit once or twice in one night, that doesn't mean it would end there. You comparing abuse that takes place every day or too often in your previous relationship compares to now, Your relationship in the past could had gone worst than what you are having right now, But abuse is when a person hit another person, doesn't matter how many times a day or a week or a month or a year, it's still consider abuse. Nobody should hit anyone, I've said it once and I'll say it again. There is no what if.....;)

Down the road from now, If you think the hitting is nothing compares to what most people are going through, and stay in the same relationship where there are violence abuse it's not good for the child, it's not good for you, or him. It would cause a lot of mental and emotional problems. Do you want to live like that? Do you rather to live with someone who shows you respect? treat you like a human being?
 
SpiceHD said:
i know a lot abt Abuse... been through all type of it ... but what throw me off is.. . is ONE hit an abuse? i mean i have been in an abusive relationship where i could have died but didnt... im positive i have bruises in every part of my body from that relationship alone... however.. one hit or maybe 2 hits then stop never again for rest of night. Is that really an abuse? and also dont forget the fact that it was a reaction to a slap from a girl. so im a bit confused there. Cuz girl started violence and it was only to meant to make a guy stop.
Click to expand...


'for rest of night....'? I'm sorry, but that there is a sign. They ever hit you or act forcefully on another night? It's definately physical abuse, and will only get worse. If girl started it? While I know that some women are as crazy or more than guys, even if girl slaps a guy for what he says, there is no excuse for him to hit her. He should know enough to back off. If she goes psycho on him when he didn't deserve it, he should still be Man enough to back off. I can't emphasize more than there is no reason for a guy to hit a girl.

IMHO
 
SpiceHD said:
i know a lot abt Abuse... been through all type of it ... but what throw me off is.. . is ONE hit an abuse? i mean i have been in an abusive relationship where i could have died but didnt... im positive i have bruises in every part of my body from that relationship alone... however.. one hit or maybe 2 hits then stop never again for rest of night. Is that really an abuse? and also dont forget the fact that it was a reaction to a slap from a girl. so im a bit confused there. Cuz girl started violence and it was only to meant to make a guy stop.
Click to expand...


How would you like it if a guy slap you once or twice just to make you stop, will you think of it as an abuse?....


I've always believe that two wrong don't make it right
 
Cheri said:
Even if you got hit once or twice in one night, that doesn't mean it would end there. You comparing abuse that takes place every day or too often in your previous relationship compares to now, Your relationship in the past could had gone worst than what you are having right now, But abuse is when a person hit another person, doesn't matter how many times a day or a week or a month or a year, it's still consider abuse. Nobody should hit anyone, I've said it once and I'll say it again. There is no what if.....;)

Down the road from now, If you think the hitting is nothing compares to what most people are going through, and stay in the same relationship where there are violence abuse it's not good for the child, it's not good for you, or him. It would cause a lot of mental and emotional problems. Do you want to live like that? Do you rather to live with someone who shows you respect? treat you like a human being?
Click to expand...


Exactly, I would have end up getting killed if I just slap him once to make him stop beating the chit out of me, that just would tick him off even more...

Instead of trying to fight back, sometimes it best to walk away, once a person cools off, it wouldn't have gone too far to the point where someone going to end up getting killed
 
^Angel^ said:
Exactly, I would have end up getting killed if I just slap him once to make him stop beating the chit out of me, that just would tick him off even more...

Instead of trying to fight back, sometimes it best to walk away, once a person cools off, it wouldn't have gone too far to the point where someone going to end up getting killed
Click to expand...


Yes Angel, you're right, and I guess you reinforce the link that rockdrummer posted. Hitting them back will surely not make them stop. You somehow must just walk away, or it will only get worse. It's easy to say 'leave and call to cops', but I know that it's easier to say than to do. As Cheri has stated, nobody should be hitting anyone else, male or female. I agree completely. I also am a realist and know that some screwed up person will attack another person. If I see someone hit another person, I will intervene. If it happens to be a man hitting a woman, even if she is messed up in the head, I will teach the man that you do not hit a woman. I'm sorry, but I feel that strongly about it, any time I see a guy hit a woman, I will jump in and restrain or hit the guy if necessary.
Now if it was my gf hitting me.... like I stated before, I would block what I can, and walk away from the rest. If she comes after me to hit me more, it's only more excuse to get away.
 
Spice,
I'm not sure if you you've slapped him and are looking for justification in doing so or if you want to know him striking you once is 'abuse'. Either way, no matter who struck who, it is not right.

And something to keep in mind is that abuse doesn't have to be just hitting. There is also verbal and psychological abuse (although those two are not against the law)...it just doesn't have to be a slap or a punch.
 
Back
Top