a very serious question for men here...

SpiceHD said:
was the girl wrong for slap him?
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Yes, it's wrong. How she feel if she receive like this back from her partner? It's hurt!
 
Well, it's hard for me to answer to this because it was happened to me at long time ago before I married.

My ex-boyfriend & I live together for over 1 year after know each other for 6 months. I wasn't realized that he's violence and bad temper. Yes he hurt me and affect my good esteem... until one terrible day... He beat me up on the floor and I rolled and ran to kitchen to get kitchen knife to threat him. He said I can't do that. I said to him that I mean it serious but he said, "come on...." I went to him and cut his chest with kitchen knife few times (not stabbed but just cut him). I leave him stare with shock and ran real fast as I can to neighbor (we grow up together)... I was nervousbreakdown... She called the police and tell them what happened. Police saw blood on his chest and got him out of my apartment and advised him to go doctor. Other police calm me down and told me what I doing right to defend myself and advised me to change lock, phone numbers, etc and go to Court to get RO.

It's self-defensive what you did if someone hurt you back... ?
 
SpiceHD said:
so a slap is wrong?
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If the slap is just to abuse a person then it is wrong.

SpiceHD, if you wer being abused and you slapped back to defend yourself, that I do understand, but that would make things much worse. You could end up getting beaten up badly or getting killed. Best thing for you to do is to get out right away and seek some help. It has happened to me before when this guy, who I used to live with, slapped on the back of my head and I slapped back on his back. He went into a rage and gave me a hard push. It was so hard that I flew over the back of a sofa. That didn't stop him right there. He just kept coming onto me and hitting on me more. After that I learnt not to hit back. I learnt to get out.

:hug:
 
I know that domestic violence is against the law, so if there was something going on in the householder and whoever started it is more likely will be charge for domestic violence....
 
so the girl was the abuser not the guy? even though the guy hurt the girl pretty hard? (he did not start it)
 
SpiceHD said:
so the girl was the abuser not the guy? even though the guy hurt the girl pretty hard? (he did not start it)
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From the look of it, yes


Take a look at this

Physical Abuse - Deliberate use of excess physical force upon a resident. May include hitting, pinching, slapping, shoving or kicking. Also includes unwarranted use of restraints and the controlling of a resident through physical attacks.
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Does that answer your question there? :)
 
SpiceHD said:
so the girl was the abuser not the guy? even though the guy hurt the girl pretty hard? (he did not start it)
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Yes and from what you say here I would say both are abusers.
I don't believe a person should return a hit back to another person. Just don't hit back and walk out. Hitting back only makes things worse.
 
SpiceHD said:
so the girl was the abuser not the guy? even though the guy hurt the girl pretty hard? (he did not start it)
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Oh plez.......you need to go to college.

The guy verbally abuses the lady as much as it hurts her profoundly that means he has not hit her yet.

The guy physically abuses the lady. Yes, he hits her.

The gal verbally abuses the guy daily, and he could not hit her back but verbally abuses back to her directly.

Understand the different between verbally abuse and physically abuse?
 
ButterflyGirl said:
Hey Mookie, go easy on SpiceHD, okay?

We are here to help her not to criticize.
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SpiceHD, I am begining to get concerned based on you line of questioning that you are perhaps a victim of abuse. I am not saying this is the case but if it is, I would strongly encourage you to seek help. I put a link in an earlier post to this thread that might be helpful. I hope that this is not happening to you and that you are allright. All the best!
 
thanks everyone for helping me out guess the girl IS the abuser even though i never would consider her to be.... :-(


i appeciate it.
 
Mookie said:
Oh plez.......you need to go to college.

The guy verbally abuses the lady as much as it hurts her profoundly that means he has not hit her yet.

The guy physically abuses the lady. Yes, he hits her.

The gal verbally abuses the guy daily, and he could not hit her back but verbally abuses back to her directly.

Understand the different between verbally abuse and physically abuse?
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i am in college.

i have been through all type of abuses. my father was very harsh on me verbally, i have been in a controlled relationship, i got raped, and i even got abused relationship with a guy. i also know all types of abuses cuz i studied abt them... what i was asking which angel answered was HOW much is it to be an abuse. i was confused because i was not sure if a slap or one hit is an abuse... but as angel mentioned... i was comparing with past relationship and current event which is why i was confused. its not same and yet it is same.

thank you for your critize and i would appeciate it if u wouldnt go off judging people so quick okay?

and now i have much better understanding abt this thanks to everyone. now i gotta talk to the girl abt this.
 
rockdrummer said:
SpiceHD, I am begining to get concerned based on you line of questioning that you are perhaps a victim of abuse. I am not saying this is the case but if it is, I would strongly encourage you to seek help. I put a link in an earlier post to this thread that might be helpful. I hope that this is not happening to you and that you are allright. All the best!
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We wouldn't know if it has to do with her alone, Since she kept bringing up different amount of questions. It's really confusing if you ask me. :giggle:
 
SpiceHD said:
i am in college.

i have been through all type of abuses. my father was very harsh on me verbally, i have been in a controlled relationship, i got raped, and i even got abused relationship with a guy. i also know all types of abuses cuz i studied abt them... what i was asking which angel answered was HOW much is it to be an abuse. i was confused because i was not sure if a slap or one hit is an abuse... but as angel mentioned... i was comparing with past relationship and current event which is why i was confused. its not same and yet it is same.

thank you for your critize and i would appeciate it if u wouldnt go off judging people so quick okay?

and now i have much better understanding abt this thanks to everyone. now i gotta talk to the girl abt this.
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Sorry to hear about your terrible life.

Since you are in college, it is not too late to inquire at the school of pyschology department. Do you know that there is no extra charge fee for you since you are in the university....

There are no perfect answers in this forum execpt the answers from the professional psychologist/brilliant internists.

Please do not inquire us too much....
 
maybe it is for both genders... i just wanted to know from male view and i dont want people to think im asking for how to get help... i m trying to make sense of the situation that the girl is in. but then... girls does have a view too so maybe it does apply for both genders
 
Mookie said:
Sorry to hear about your terrible life.

Since you are in college, it is not too late to inquire at the school of pyschology department. Do you know that there is no extra charge fee for you since you are in the university....

There are no perfect answers in this forum execpt the answers from the professional psychologist/brilliant internists.

Please do not inquire us too much....
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thanks for the suggestion but i perfer to listen to normal people's opinions over the professionals... :) dont ask me why though its a long story heh.
 
It's NOT ok for women to HIT men.

Its NOT ok for men to HIT women.

Its NOT ok for men to HIT men.

Its NOT ok for women to hit women.

So, Its NOT ok for women or men to hit each other, period.

Slapping, Hitting, Pinching, Pushing, and Kicking is NOT ok. Belittle (put-downs), name-callings, long silent treatment (ignoring you), embarass you in front of people in public, etc is NOT ok. Here's link to read more about ABUSIVE to help you to understand.

Link:

1) http://www.womanabuseprevention.com/html/abuse_signs.html

2) http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

3) http://www.drirene.com/verbal1.htm

4) http://www.lifeskillsintl.org/page4.html

To get more information, just go here: http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=abuse+signs
 
Good question. Depend what we get in the sitaution as what kind of lady crackhead or violence temper or drunk.
I would be more likely is walk away from her for some time until she get cool her jets down.
 
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