your childhood about deaf/hoh issues

simple question

  • No

    Votes: 16 55.2%

  • Yes

    Votes: 8 27.6%

  • Sometimes

    Votes: 4 13.8%

  • Others ~ explain

    Votes: 1 3.4%
  • Total voters
    29
DeafCaroline said:
Somebody once told me to stop wearing my hair in a ponytail because my hearing aids looked ugly and it makes me look more "deaf" like it was a bad thing.

This was a very close family member.

Now, I don't care if anyone thinks my hearing aids look ugly - screw'em.
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I used to have long hair which hid my hearing aids. Then I went bald...
 
Luckily, we are females and not going to bald if we so choose to hide our hearing aids. Mine is pink and matches my skin color on my ears perfectly. lol
 
InfamousMacBook said:
I am 25 (late deaf at 20) and my parents hate being in public with me because they think I can hear with hearing aids. I've totally given up on them getting the point.
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Do you still have face to face with them? My disablist dad I dont communicative with at all face to face.Because of his believes on disability.His loss not mine. I email photos and updates but dont get any reply. And send xmas presents to him and my half brothers

InfamousMacBook said:
My boyfriend is just about worse. If we go out shopping at store he doesn't mind my hearing aid showing if we go to BBQ with his friends I have to wear my hair down. When we lived on military base I had to wear it down there too. Just frustrating. I don't care if my ears are "broke" and I am happy with them being that way. I just wish people could be happy too.
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If it was me I would leave.My last boyfriend I left because he don't want to sign or have me use my cane in public. His loss not mine
 
ladysolitary85 said:
My stepdad made me wear the FM amplifier unit at school AND at home. He was never encouraging either or, just tried embarrassing me. My mom still looks to me as a helpless child (I'm 26) and tells me how limited I am in a career.... irritating.

I honestly believe that I'm the black sheep of the family.

I remember my cousin was saying once "well, look at how you turned out" *shrugs*

I mean what I say when I say my family are my friends. Family is family, but to me I feel my friends are more family.
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Prove her wrong! Almost nothing feels better than overcoming difficulty proving people wrong. You should see the look on my Dr's face when I destroy him on the golf course......he told me after an operation that I wouldn't have enough balance to play golf at a high level.

Good luck to you!
 
My mother just admitted to me that the doctor's told her and my dad that I would not amount to anything and be totally helpless and like a "retarded" person due to my hearing loss. Glad to know that before my father died, he knew I proved those doctor's wrong. Also have been continually proving to my mother that they are wrong. Even just 5 years ago, I had the doctor's tell me that my life was basically over since I went totally deaf. They basically told me that I was going to need to get someone in to care for my family and that I would need a caregiver. Don't know what their problem was. My ears don't work, but most of the rest of me does and there ain't a thing wrong with my brain.
 
KristinaB said:
My mother just admitted to me that the doctor's told her and my dad that I would not amount to anything and be totally helpless and like a "retarded" person due to my hearing loss. Glad to know that before my father died, he knew I proved those doctor's wrong. Also have been continually proving to my mother that they are wrong. Even just 5 years ago, I had the doctor's tell me that my life was basically over since I went totally deaf. They basically told me that I was going to need to get someone in to care for my family and that I would need a caregiver. Don't know what their problem was. My ears don't work, but most of the rest of me does and there ain't a thing wrong with my brain.
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Things like this really piss me off.

My doctor whom I see every month told me my father told her that I had a low IQ and this was to do with filling out forms for DRS (Department of Rehabative Services) to help me find a job. DRS wouldn't help me due to my heath issues. My dad is a retired M.D. btw. I'm certain that I don't have a low IQ.
 
That really annoys me too. How can they judge without really knowning you?

I have been told by my mother side of family that I got low IQ all my life. Even my mum told them to stop it and insists I do not have low IQ and they still believe that I do. It didn't help that my GCSEs (very important final exams at school of age 16 before you leave for college and work) results was low because it all very English based and I cannot understand questions to answer it.

Now my mum side of family stopped saying I got low IQ thanks to my uni brilliant results, in exams there I had BSL interpreter translate questions in BSL so I can answer them fully.
 
deafskeptic said:
Things like this really piss me off.

My doctor whom I see every month told me my father told her that I had a low IQ and this was to do with filling out forms for DRS (Department of Rehabative Services) to help me find a job. DRS wouldn't help me due to my heath issues. My dad is a retired M.D. btw. I'm certain that I don't have a low IQ.
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I'm certain that you don't either.
 
Speedy Hawk said:
That really annoys me too. How can they judge without really knowning you?

I have been told by my mother side of family that I got low IQ all my life. Even my mum told them to stop it and insists I do not have low IQ and they still believe that I do. It didn't help that my GCSEs (very important final exams at school of age 16 before you leave for college and work) results was low because it all very English based and I cannot understand questions to answer it.

Now my mum side of family stopped saying I got low IQ thanks to my uni brilliant results, in exams there I had BSL interpreter translate questions in BSL so I can answer them fully.
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Showed them, didn't you? :h5:
 
ladysolitary85 said:
My stepdad made me wear the FM amplifier unit at school AND at home. He was never encouraging either or, just tried embarrassing me. My mom still looks to me as a helpless child (I'm 26) and tells me how limited I am in a career.... irritating.

I honestly believe that I'm the black sheep of the family.

I remember my cousin was saying once "well, look at how you turned out" *shrugs*

I mean what I say when I say my family are my friends. Family is family, but to me I feel my friends are more family.
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I couldn't agree more with your words. I, too, feel like I am the black sheep of the family. The screw up because I arrived already broken, irreparable, and helpless. It's sad when your friends become your family and your family becomes your (distant) friends. Seems like no one really understands, and probably never will. :( :hug:
 
I've never tried to hide my deafness. On the other hand, I do not always tell people I'm deaf right off the bat. I tell then when it's necessary that I have trouble hearing. I do not like it when my Dad jumps in and tells the person I'm talking to I'm deaf because it means the conservation has ended for me.
 
yeah, I always resented it when my friends and family would tell me to tell others that I'm deaf right off the bat or when they introduce me as "This is Caroline, she's deaf so she needs to read your lips." Like deafskeptic says, it's a conversation stopper.
 
DeafCaroline;1844361 "This is Caroline[COLOR="Red" said:
(i only say that to drunk people)[/COLOR], she's deaf so she needs to read your lips." Like deafskeptic says, it's a conversation stopper.
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yeah its a conversation stopper can avoid wearing drinks/glasses or getting fist makeup
 
DeafCaroline said:
yeah, I always resented it when my friends and family would tell me to tell others that I'm deaf right off the bat or when they introduce me as "This is Caroline, she's deaf so she needs to read your lips." Like deafskeptic says, it's a conversation stopper.
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Most of the time it broke the ice with me. I guess each person experience is different.

It was a conversation starter.. They would ask questions and I would answer. It is a good way to get people to learn and understand about you.

Yes I have had some people that would start mocking.. those are the ones I chose not to continue to converse with. Like with anything else got to weed out the idiots.

Overall I had no problem with people letting others know in an introduction that I am deaf or hoh. I am not ashame nor do I have to hide it.
 
Like you say, every person's experience is different. In my case, people are so afraid of not being "politically correct" that they're afraid to say anything in case they're being offensive so they take the easier tactic of apologizing then walking away.

Whereas if I casually mention my deafness sometime after the introduction, they had already gotten to know me well enough to know that it's not such an issue to communicate with a deaf person.

Someone raised a question about this one: should we introduce ourselves as "my name is .... and I'm deaf" or should we just be ourselves and normalize it so it's normal for the other person as well?

For instance, scenario 1: i walk into a bakery and say "I'm deaf" before making my order. They kinda freeze. "Oh, we have a DEAF person here. What should we do? Am I going to get in trouble with my boss if I don't act properly? how is one supposed to talk to a deaf person? how do I deal with their "special needs"?" You can see the look of uncertainty and slight panic in their eyes.

Scenario 2: i walk into a bakery and start signing right away for what i want. I point at the food and make the universal gesture for how much? right away, I'm just being myself and normalizing my deafness and they respond, usually, in kind. you can almost see the relief in their eyes like "oh, ok, this person's deaf but no big deal, we can still communicate. Nothing to worry about."
 
DeafCaroline said:
Like you say, every person's experience is different. In my case, people are so afraid of not being "politically correct" that they're afraid to say anything in case they're being offensive so they take the easier tactic of apologizing then walking away.

Whereas if I casually mention my deafness sometime after the introduction, they had already gotten to know me well enough to know that it's not such an issue to communicate with a deaf person.

Someone raised a question about this one: should we introduce ourselves as "my name is .... and I'm deaf" or should we just be ourselves and normalize it so it's normal for the other person as well?

For instance, scenario 1: i walk into a bakery and say "I'm deaf" before making my order. They kinda freeze. "Oh, we have a DEAF person here. What should we do? Am I going to get in trouble with my boss if I don't act properly? how is one supposed to talk to a deaf person? how do I deal with their "special needs"?" You can see the look of uncertainty and slight panic in their eyes.

Scenario 2: i walk into a bakery and start signing right away for what i want. I point at the food and make the universal gesture for how much? right away, I'm just being myself and normalizing my deafness and they respond, usually, in kind. you can almost see the relief in their eyes like "oh, ok, this person's deaf but no big deal, we can still communicate. Nothing to worry about."
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I understand what you are saying. I would not tell everyone "Hi, My name is _________ and I am deaf. I would carry on and make my order. Sometimes I will ask a person to speak up or to repeat themself because I can not hear them.


In a social setting I would want people to be aware because I do not want them thinking I am ignoring them or being a snob since I do not always respond to them.
 
Babyblue said:
I understand what you are saying. I would not tell everyone "Hi, My name is _________ and I am deaf. I would carry on and make my order. Sometimes I will ask a person to speak up or to repeat themself because I can not hear them.


In a social setting I would want people to be aware because I do not want them thinking I am ignoring them or being a snob since I do not always respond to them.
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You have a point there. I was called a bitch at a party a week ago. Some guy apparently was trying to hit on me when I didn't see him standing next to me and he went up to the host of the party (who is a very good friend of mine) and said "what's up with her? Why is she being such a snobby bitch?"

When he told him why, then he was like "oh!" but you know what, i'm glad that happened because people need to stop assuming the entire planet can hear and that there's a good reason why some people don't respond so maybe the next time he'll think twice.

Another woman yelled at me for not hearing her ring her bicycle bell as she was coming up behind me on the sidewalk. She crashed into me and of course it was all my fault.

I told her that she shouldn't assume everyone can hear. Maybe she learned her lesson.
 
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