your childhood about deaf/hoh issues

simple question

  • No

    Votes: 16 55.2%

  • Yes

    Votes: 8 27.6%

  • Sometimes

    Votes: 4 13.8%

  • Others ~ explain

    Votes: 1 3.4%
  • Total voters
    29
inmate23 said:
I ended up in care because of emotional abuse(thanks dad) the only reason I ended up at dads was foster care fucked up the invention(they dont do they just rang dad the social worker who made that call was disciplined over that phone call) at mums
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I am sorry. I know a few friends of mine who are in the same boat as you were. Hope you are doing okay now.
 
Frisky Feline said:
I am sorry. I know a few friends of mine who are in the same boat as you were. Hope you are doing okay now.
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Foster care wasn't easy re: disabity issues ether read some of posts when first joined but now I have nice group of friends some are Deaf,some deaf,hearing

Lifes good
 
Frisky Feline said:
*bump* for hearing parents to be aware about how deaf kids feel. :bump:
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Good timing on this bump, FF.:D

Parents need to be aware that not just the messages they give directly, but indirectly, affect the way a child feels about themselves.
 
I am 25 (late deaf at 20) and my parents hate being in public with me because they think I can hear with hearing aids. I've totally given up on them getting the point. My boyfriend is just about worse. If we go out shopping at store he doesn't mind my hearing aid showing if we go to BBQ with his friends I have to wear my hair down. When we lived on military base I had to wear it down there too. Just frustrating. I don't care if my ears are "broke" and I am happy with them being that way. I just wish people could be happy too.
 
Yes.

So those kids won't suffer in the consequence when parents hope kids to hear something through the tool equipments.
 
InfamousMacBook said:
I am 25 (late deaf at 20) and my parents hate being in public with me because they think I can hear with hearing aids. I've totally given up on them getting the point. My boyfriend is just about worse. If we go out shopping at store he doesn't mind my hearing aid showing if we go to BBQ with his friends I have to wear my hair down. When we lived on military base I had to wear it down there too. Just frustrating. I don't care if my ears are "broke" and I am happy with them being that way. I just wish people could be happy too.
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Im sorry. I m glad that you stand by your belief and be happy.
 
InfamousMacBook said:
I am 25 (late deaf at 20) and my parents hate being in public with me because they think I can hear with hearing aids. I've totally given up on them getting the point. My boyfriend is just about worse. If we go out shopping at store he doesn't mind my hearing aid showing if we go to BBQ with his friends I have to wear my hair down. When we lived on military base I had to wear it down there too. Just frustrating. I don't care if my ears are "broke" and I am happy with them being that way. I just wish people could be happy too.
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why?
 
InfamousMacBook said:
I am 25 (late deaf at 20) and my parents hate being in public with me because they think I can hear with hearing aids. I've totally given up on them getting the point. My boyfriend is just about worse. If we go out shopping at store he doesn't mind my hearing aid showing if we go to BBQ with his friends I have to wear my hair down. When we lived on military base I had to wear it down there too. Just frustrating. I don't care if my ears are "broke" and I am happy with them being that way. I just wish people could be happy too.
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Do the reactions of the people close to you like that make you feel that you are not "as good" as they are? Or as if they see you that way?
 
@Jillo- They just don't understand that even with amplification I cannot hear some noises. Some stuff I make out perfectly fine (birds tweeting) and other (my dad) I have no clue what he's saying half the time just that he's talking.

@Jillo- My bf doesn't like them showing cause even if I am not embarrassed he doesn't like people looking at my ears and frowning. He also said that one of his friends (who I've only met once) said something rude about him dating a deaf girl. I don't think he is friends with him anymore but, I know I never see him around.
 
Somebody once told me to stop wearing my hair in a ponytail because my hearing aids looked ugly and it makes me look more "deaf" like it was a bad thing.

This was a very close family member.

Now, I don't care if anyone thinks my hearing aids look ugly - screw'em.
 
p.s. i find it makes my life easier to make it obvious I'm deaf such as clearly displaying my hearing aids. If salespeople didn't see them, they would think I was a bitch for ignoring them ("if I had a dollar bill for every look I got, there'd be a mountain of money piled up to my chin...") whereas if they could see, then they know enough to make sure I could see them talking to me. It definitely makes my life much much easier to be very upfront about the fact I'm deaf.
 
InfamousMacBook said:
@Jillo- They just don't understand that even with amplification I cannot hear some noises. Some stuff I make out perfectly fine (birds tweeting) and other (my dad) I have no clue what he's saying half the time just that he's talking.

@Jillo- My bf doesn't like them showing cause even if I am not embarrassed he doesn't like people looking at my ears and frowning. He also said that one of his friends (who I've only met once) said something rude about him dating a deaf girl. I don't think he is friends with him anymore but, I know I never see him around.
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I understand what you are saying. The way they are reacting kind of gives the unspoken message that you are not worth them taking the time or having the consideration to adjust to your needs, and instead, expect you to adjust to their needs. If you can't do that, then it isn't worth their time and effort.

Your bf is giving the same message; that his needs should take priority over yours. His need not to be "embarrassed by dating a deaf girl" is more important than your need to be who you are.

These are the kind of unspoken messages I am referring to. For an adult, who can somewhat reason through them, it is not as damaging. But when these same messages are communicated to a small child, they are very damaging.
 
Daredevel7 said:
No way!! Complete opposite! My mom would either make me tell people (especially my teachers) that I am deaf and I need to look at their lips or she would tell them herself! I was so embarrassed but she was right. It made things easier in the long run.
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Definitely. Although I was never embarrassed about it. I was proactive about it telling my teachers and people about my hearing loss well before I was a teenager.
 
I really don't give a hoot about what he thinks. When we go out I usually wear my hair down but, bring a pony tail with me. We live in Texas and yesterday were outside all day in 108 degree weather and my hair is just past my shoulders. It's like wearing one of those thermal jackets on my head!

As far as them not trying to meet my needs I think I will ignore them tell they are willing to speak to me directly. That is usually what I do with my parents. My dad is pretty good at walking up to me and talking but, sometimes he just starts going on so I tell him I can hear you so he moves where I either see him and he comes closer or just so I see him. Its a work in progress. I did go to one meet up group in SA for deaf people and found that some of them shy away from. I don't think its on purpose but, because we don't understand each other. Oh well.
 
InfamousMacBook said:
I really don't give a hoot about what he thinks. When we go out I usually wear my hair down but, bring a pony tail with me. We live in Texas and yesterday were outside all day in 108 degree weather and my hair is just past my shoulders. It's like wearing one of those thermal jackets on my head!

As far as them not trying to meet my needs I think I will ignore them tell they are willing to speak to me directly. That is usually what I do with my parents. My dad is pretty good at walking up to me and talking but, sometimes he just starts going on so I tell him I can hear you so he moves where I either see him and he comes closer or just so I see him. Its a work in progress. I did go to one meet up group in SA for deaf people and found that some of them shy away from. I don't think its on purpose but, because we don't understand each other. Oh well.
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You go, girl!
 
Aww thank you. I am willing to tolerate a lot before I end up going insane. Anyways, thanks for all you lovely input. I am going to grab a snack and do my grocery shoppping now.

:waves: :wiggle:
 
My stepdad made me wear the FM amplifier unit at school AND at home. He was never encouraging either or, just tried embarrassing me. My mom still looks to me as a helpless child (I'm 26) and tells me how limited I am in a career.... irritating.

I honestly believe that I'm the black sheep of the family.

I remember my cousin was saying once "well, look at how you turned out" *shrugs*

I mean what I say when I say my family are my friends. Family is family, but to me I feel my friends are more family.
 
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