Why would people want their children to be deaf?

whatdidyousay! said:
I think being HOH SUCK! And yes I did fail in school because I was HOH and I was an outcast in my neighborhood as a child. Parents thought I would hurt
their kids as they thought I was retarded. My dad rejected me for being HOH!
Nothing good came out me being HOH! There is no way in HELL you can change my mind how I feel not wanting my baby to born HOH or deaf.
When my daughter was pregnant my hearing audiologish told me to made sure my grandchild hearing was tested right away, and I agreed with him!
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whatdidyousay! said:
When you have your father put you in a roasting pan as a toddler and put matches around the pan and try to put you in the stove being HOH is a danger to your life! If my mother did not stop my dad , I would not had been here! Being HOH really SUCK!!
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This is some seriously bad stuff. I agree with the others; it has nothing to do with you, it has to do with an abusive father. Do not let this type of anger fester. Talk to someone. Geez, what a creep your father was.
 
rockin'robin said:
I believe the majority of us hope for a healthy & a happy baby. But when something goes wrong with the baby, or it's born with a defect, that's when you have to come to terms with it in your own way.

No matter what my baby was born with, I would love it regardless. But do I "wish" or would I wish for a deaf baby? No....but if it was born that way, then that's the way it is and was meant to be. It would be loved regardless.
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You will accept anything but a Liberal. :giggle:
 
shel90 said:
I am living life as a Deaf person, no visits to the hospitals except for my heart problem. No surgeries involved and my life is not threatened except for when my heart acts up.

Being deaf doesnt have to make one's life miserable. When one feels that way, it was because of society in that person's life that made that person feel that way and that is sad because it didnt have to be that way.
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That is true. It's different.

Deafness isn't the problem. Society's viewpoint is the problem. I get it. :)

Deaf culture is beautiful. The sense of belonging is something I wish I had growing up. People tried to get me involved in support groups and other things to make me feel more "normal". What they didn't realize is that I already FELT normal. I didn't know anything different, so to me, I WAS normal. Being different doesn't equate to abnormality. I had a problem; not with being different, but with everyone trying to force their ideal on me.

My life WAS miserable growing up. Not because of the repeated hospitalizations, but because of the treatment I got from the kids I went to school with or people pitying me. Life was rough. But, it could have been so much EASIER if people just accepted me for who I was and stopped trying to change me.
 
Wow...Been reading this thread and this seems to be a tetchy subject. RabidLamn asked a legit question, and I am seeing lots of people saying it's a personal choice of the parents...but not seeing anyone thinking about the child's personal choice. While I don't think being deaf is really all that debilitating, I would never want to deny anyone a chance at having hearing. I would never wish deafness on anyone anymore than I would wish blindness or loss of limb.

I am losing my hearing at an exponential rate and while I am adjusting fairly well, my life has changed hugely. Like it or not...there are things I can no longer enjoy like I did when I had my hearing. Going to a movie theater is no longer something I do. I can no longer use a phone or even have a normal conversation with my husband, family or friends who are all hearing people. For most of my life I have been a housewife and mother...now my kids are grown and have lives of their own,l so I decided to go out and get a job. What a rude awakening that has been. Not only do I have no real job skills, other than entry level shit jobs, but I am finding people treat me way differently than they did when I was a hearing person. Many of them seem to think deaf/HOH also means hard-of-thinking or stupid. Oh yeah, and that pity thing? I agree 100% OceanBreeze...I hate that shit. That pisses me off more than anything. I wanna go back to school, but have been told I am ineligible for financial aid. I have had so many people telling me to file for disability that I have and have been turned down 3 times now. Excuses being because I wasn't blind or crippled. WTF?
 
Miz I totally know what you mean. I have been deaf since I was 3 and cannot remember a thing about hearing. However... I see many many people do this or that and then think about how I could have done those things if I wasn't deaf.

One of the event that have biggest impact on my life was, when I was in high school, I was in army JROTC all way through high school. I really wanted to go into army and get into special force. However I cannot get in the military, let lone special force. So now pretty much almost all of my high school friends are in the military and it really hurt to know I'm not over there in Afghan or Iraq helping them out.

However that doesn't mean I am miserable, have a bad life or anything. I did many wonderful things that I am really proud of in my life and am really happy with my life.

So now when I think about kids, I would want them to have every opportunity to do whatever they want to. So no way I am going to want them to be deaf if I can choose. However, I will still love them just as much if they were born deaf, blind, or whatever. It is just I don't want to take any opportunity away from them.
 
Wirelessly posted

Whatdidyousay, seek treatments now. I went out with someone whose father is similar to yours. She is hearing and healthy, but she still manages to find fault. Being deaf or hard-of-hearing has nothing to do with your abuser. People who are abusers will carry out their misintentions on others whether they like it or not.

Case in point? I would hate to shun my grandmother at this point, but she used to treat all seven of her children like scums out of relitation since she was expecting my grandfather to die in the War. She continued this cycle of abuse with all of her grandchildren. It didn't matter if they were white or native, boy or girl, sighted or seeing or anything of the sort. She was notorious for using what she saw as flaws against her own children. Thank God, I have no recollections of her.

I doubt getting a divorce or the death of her husband would had helped any of my grandmother's children. She wasn't right in the head.
 
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Whatdidyousay, wow...all I can say is your so-called father is/was a real prick. I really hope your mom left his sorry ass. I agree with Saywhatkid and the others...you are not at fault here, and getting some help with the emotional scarring this has caused is a really good idea, because this is still affecting your life apparently, which is still giving this S.O.B some control over you.
 
RabidLamn said:
One thing I have been noticing a lot in deaf community lately is, how many deaf couple want a deaf child.

While I don't ever want any child (If you want to discuss this, start a new thread or send me PM) however if I do end up have a child, I would never want them to be deaf.

While I love my life and am really happy with everything and have a good life, I cannot say it is easy at all. There has been some of biggest dream that has been shattered because of my deafness. I've lose some opportunity because of my deafness. Social circle is rather odd. There's just so many things that I would never want my child to struggles with.
So that's why I am asking others.
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I believe your sole purpose here is to cause trouble. :wave:
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I think being HOH SUCK! And yes I did fail in school because I was HOH and I was an outcast in my neighborhood as a child. Parents thought I would hurt
their kids as they thought I was retarded. My dad rejected me for being HOH!
Nothing good came out me being HOH! There is no way in HELL you can change my mind how I feel not wanting my baby to born HOH or deaf.
When my daughter was pregnant my hearing audiologish told me to made sure my grandchild hearing was tested right away, and I agreed with him!
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1. it's the law for hospitals to check newborns' hearing.
2. seek counselor
3. see #2
 
OK. I highly doubt Deaf parents did make their hearing children being Deaf. Really, I don't remember or think anyone actually did it...

Personally, I don't mind hearing or deaf children of my own, so I would like them to have both languages, ASL and English.
 
Jiro said:
I believe your sole purpose here is to cause trouble. :wave:
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I was trolled by the OP in another thread that was removed. I saw the bait, so tender, bouncing in front of me. My mouth watered.

And I walked away...
 
Some deaf people are jealous of other deaf parents of deaf child because they do not have deaf child instead they have hearing child. I know I have few friends are like that. I still don't get it and why they feel it this way.
 
jazzy said:
Some deaf people are jealous of other deaf parents of deaf child because they do not have deaf child instead they have hearing child. I know I have few friends are like that. I still don't get it and why they feel it this way.
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bcuz their kids has deaf loss.
 
jazzy said:
Some deaf people are jealous of other deaf parents of deaf child because they do not have deaf child instead they have hearing child. I know I have few friends are like that. I still don't get it and why they feel it this way.
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well I do not know if I am considered to be jealous of other deaf parents who have deaf kids. First of all, I am happy that my two hearing kids are healthy! In fact, i admit that i sometimes wonder what to raise deaf kid look like, for example, going to school and talk to teachers without using the interpreter, going to the shows, using without interpreter and go on. Also, the parents have meeting that i have to go to and needed the interpreter. Just because of the different culture that i have to adjust to match with hearing people every time I go.
If i have a deaf kid, then i would feel same where I grew up in my deaf school. Know what I am saying. Like it is just a SIGNISM & feeling thingy. So, if in your views thinking i am jealous of them. then help yourself. I dont care.. i am blessed to have beautiful healthy children.
posts from hell said:
bcuz their kids has deaf loss.
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Ha ha.. good words.
 
Hmm, I think in most cases this is quite similar to people wanting a boy over a girl, or a girl over a boy. Some people have a preference, and that's okay because they'll love the child just the same even if it's not the gender they preferred. Sure, there are some sick deaf parents who would love their child less if it were hearing, but there are also parents who would do the same thing just because they got a daughter instead of a son, or vice versa. Those people are unfit to be parents. Being deaf has nothing to do with it.


When I have kids, the question of whether I prefer deaf or not won't even cross my mind. I will be happy with either. But I would prefer to have a son. Hee hee :)
 
souggy said:
Wirelessly posted

Whatdidyousay, seek treatments now. I went out with someone whose father is similar to yours. She is hearing and healthy, but she still manages to find fault. Being deaf or hard-of-hearing has nothing to do with your abuser. People who are abusers will carry out their misintentions on others whether they like it or not.

Case in point? I would hate to shun my grandmother at this point, but she used to treat all seven of her children like scums out of relitation since she was expecting my grandfather to die in the War. She continued this cycle of abuse with all of her grandchildren. It didn't matter if they were white or native, boy or girl, sighted or seeing or anything of the sort. She was notorious for using what she saw as flaws against her own children. Thank God, I have no recollections of her.

I doubt getting a divorce or the death of her husband would had helped any of my grandmother's children. She wasn't right in the head.
Click to expand...

I do not need to get treatments, I was trying to made a point that I think that being HOH is nothing to be happy about! And no one can make me feel any other way. I am NOT ashamed of being HOH , I just wish I was NOT HOH!!
I could done a lot more with my life if I could hear, I would had gotten a better education when I was younger and may had been a lawyer.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I do not need to get treatments, I was trying to made a point that I think that being HOH is nothing to be happy about! And no one can make me feel any other way. I am NOT ashamed of being HOH , I just wish I was NOT HOH!!
I could done a lot more with my life if I could hear, I would had gotten a better education when I was younger and may had been a lawyer.
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Really? I know several d/Deaf/hoh lawyers out there. We even have one here on the board here.
 
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