Why would people want their children to be deaf?

shel90 said:
Let me know what is a better word or just dont say anything at all?

I hate hate that term hearing-impaired so I prefer to be called deaf.
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We just say he uses a wheelchair. *shrug* LOL, "bound" always makes me think the person is tied up... :naughty:

saywhatkid said:
People often want a child just like themselves. Why would it surprise you that deaf parents would want a deaf child? Any child is a blessing.
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:applause:
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I think it very selfish to want your child to be born deaf! I am was so happy my baby was born a hearing baby , You reasoning made no sense to me.
If you were born with no arms would you want you baby to be born like that too? I also hear people say that they glad that they are an Adult Child at meetings . I do not get this kind of thinking.
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You are grieving over your child who happen to became deaf when it is not your fault or anyone else's fault. It just happen that way. You can not change the clock back and say I want my baby to remain hearing. You have to accept your child the way he or she is no matter what happen if the child was born deaf or hard of hearing or late deafened. I was born deaf when my mother was very ill at four months pregnant. It was not her fault or the doctor's fault. It just happen for a reason. So accept it whether you like or not. :)
 
saywhatkid said:
People often want a child just like themselves. Why would it surprise you that deaf parents would want a deaf child? Any child is a blessing.
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I did not want my baby being born like me. I wanted my baby to be able hear
all the sounds I can't hear. If I was to following your reasoning , I would had to abused my child and hit her and call her horrible names everydays to have her be like me!
 
My question...to those people who definitely do not want their children like them..does that mean you view yourselves as failures and complete outcases in society?

If so...why? Why do you deserve to view yourselves that way?
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I think it very selfish to want your child to be born deaf! I am was so happy my baby was born a hearing baby , You reasoning made no sense to me.
If you were born with no arms would you want you baby to be born like that too? I also hear people say that they glad that they are an Adult Child at meetings . I do not get this kind of thinking.
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What a sad way to view yourself.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I did not want my baby being born like me. I wanted my baby to be able hear
all the sounds I can't hear. If I was to following your reasoning , I would had to abused my child and hit her and call her horrible names everydays to have her be like me!
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Well, not where I come from. If you were abused, I certainly would not want you to continue that with your own child. If I had a child, I would want him/her to contribute more to the world than I have.
 
saywhatkid said:
People often want a child just like themselves. Why would it surprise you that deaf parents would want a deaf child? Any child is a blessing.
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I agree.

I wouldnt want my child to be born with a terminal disease but if born with other issues, I will make the best of it and not pity my child and make him/her life a journey of suffereing. I will educate myself on blindness, paralysis and etch to ensure that their lives is great. That means I will have to contact people who have those conditions and really take their word instead of trying to make my child like me.
 
saywhatkid said:
People often want a child just like themselves. Why would it surprise you that deaf parents would want a deaf child? Any child is a blessing.
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While I respect that of the deaf, I wouldn't want a child to be born with spina bifida like I was. Life was just too hard. I admit it's different, though.

I made the decision never to have children because, I literally went from one life threatening situation to another as an infant. I had 11 brain surgeries by the time I was 3. I also had many surgeries since then. From a medical point of view, I was clinging to life from the moment I was born and wasn't considered "stable" until well into childhood. It was very, very difficult for me AND my parents to go through. That's not even factoring the social issues I faced growing up; which wasn't much different from what some deaf faced. A lot of ridicule and being shunned.

I don't expect others to share my view; nor do I expect them to choose the same thing, but for myself, there's no way in HELL I would want a child with spina bifida.
 
Oceanbreeze said:
While I respect that of the deaf, I wouldn't want a child to be born with spina bifida like I was. Life was just too hard. I admit it's different, though.

I made the decision never to have children because, I literally went from one life threatening situation to another as an infant. I had 11 brain surgeries by the time I was 3. I also had many surgeries since then. From a medical point of view, I was clinging to life from the moment I was born and wasn't considered "stable" until well into childhood. It was very, very difficult for me AND my parents to go through. That's not even factoring the social issues I faced growing up; which wasn't much different from what some deaf faced. A lot of ridicule and being shunned.

I don't expect others to share my view; nor do I expect them to choose the same thing, but for myself, there's no way in HELL I would want a child with spina bifida.
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If it was a life threatening condition, then I understand. However, deafness is not but some people treat it as if it was. *shrugs*
 
shel90 said:
What a sad way to view yourself.
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It may be sad, but, I can understand that view. I have it, too, but I also think my situation is very different than being born deaf. I had a lot of medical complications in the first decade or so of life. Spina bifida carried with it many hospitalizations for me; alot of surgeries, and, situations in which my life was repeatedly threatened. I wouldn't want that for a child of mine.
 
shel90 said:
My question...to those people who definitely do not want their children like them..does that mean you view yourselves as failures and complete outcases in society?

If so...why? Why do you deserve to view yourselves that way?
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I think being HOH SUCK! And yes I did fail in school because I was HOH and I was an outcast in my neighborhood as a child. Parents thought I would hurt
their kids as they thought I was retarded. My dad rejected me for being HOH!
Nothing good came out me being HOH! There is no way in HELL you can change my mind how I feel not wanting my baby to born HOH or deaf.
When my daughter was pregnant my hearing audiologish told me to made sure my grandchild hearing was tested right away, and I agreed with him!
 
Oceanbreeze said:
It may be sad, but, I can understand that view. I have it, too, but I also think my situation is very different than being born deaf. I had a lot of medical complications in the first decade or so of life. Spina bifida carried with it many hospitalizations for me; alot of surgeries, and, situations in which my life was repeatedly threatened. I wouldn't want that for a child of mine.
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I am living life as a Deaf person, no visits to the hospitals except for my heart problem. No surgeries involved and my life is not threatened except for when my heart acts up.

Being deaf doesnt have to make one's life miserable. When one feels that way, it was because of society in that person's life that made that person feel that way and that is sad because it didnt have to be that way.
 
saywhatkid said:
People often want a child just like themselves. Why would it surprise you that deaf parents would want a deaf child? Any child is a blessing.
Click to expand...

Oceanbreeze said:
While I respect that of the deaf, I wouldn't want a child to be born with spina bifida like I was. Life was just too hard. I admit it's different, though.

I made the decision never to have children because, I literally went from one life threatening situation to another as an infant. I had 11 brain surgeries by the time I was 3. I also had many surgeries since then. From a medical point of view, I was clinging to life from the moment I was born and wasn't considered "stable" until well into childhood. It was very, very difficult for me AND my parents to go through. That's not even factoring the social issues I faced growing up; which wasn't much different from what some deaf faced. A lot of ridicule and being shunned.

I don't expect others to share my view; nor do I expect them to choose the same thing, but for myself, there's no way in HELL I would want a child with spina bifida.
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Well, I did say "often" not "always" want. I can see your point, and there are many other situations that might deter someone from parenthood. I was trying to point out the deaf angle.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
I think being HOH SUCK! And yes I did fail in school because I was HOH and I was an outcast in my neighborhood as a child. Parents thought I would hurt
their kids as they thought I was retarded. My dad rejected me for being HOH!
Nothing good came out me being HOH! There is no way in HELL you can change my mind how I feel not wanting my baby to born HOH or deaf.
When my daughter was pregnant my hearing audiologish told me to made sure my grandchild hearing was tested right away, and I agreed with him!
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It was the way you were treated. The way my life is going, my deafness is not an issue. I have a great life right now. I see many deaf children living great lives now...it all depends on how people treat you. It is the people that are the issue, not your deafness or HOH.
 
Oceanbreeze said:
That's true, Shel, and that does make it different.
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When you have your father put you in a roasting pan as a toddler and put matches around the pan and try to put you in the stove being HOH is a danger to your life! If my mother did not stop my dad , I would not had been here! Being HOH really SUCK!!
 
I am in a town, and previously lived in another town as well, where kids are accepted with all kinds of "differences"...acceptance has not been much of an issue for my son, and the kids who are jerks have been "equal opportunity jerks"... being mean and nasty to anyone who was handy. My son is just another kid... one who just happens to use a wheelchair and wear AFO's.

Reading some of these posts really makes me realize just how fortunate we have been.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
When you have your father put you in a roasting pan as a toddler and put matches around the pan and try to put you in the stove being HOH is a danger to your life! If my mother did not stop my dad , I would not had been here! Being HOH really SUCK!!
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I'm sorry you went through that...but it sounds like your dad is a sick, twisted SOB and would have abused you regardless of whether you could hear or not.
 
chipmunkis said:
I'm sorry you went through that...but it sounds like your dad is a sick, twisted SOB and would have abused you regardless of whether you could hear or not.
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I have to agree with you. Because whatdidyousay was abused by his sick father when he should know better that the baby is a human being and have a right to be here on Earth. You are right that his father does not have anything to do with his hearing or hard of hearing. I think he did not want to have children, period. :hmm:
 
I believe the majority of us hope for a healthy & a happy baby. But when something goes wrong with the baby, or it's born with a defect, that's when you have to come to terms with it in your own way.

No matter what my baby was born with, I would love it regardless. But do I "wish" or would I wish for a deaf baby? No....but if it was born that way, then that's the way it is and was meant to be. It would be loved regardless.
 
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