Why I Think Losing Hearing later in life is the worst

It's scary and interesting to hear the "same" sound the same way a hearing person can hear, but in our own language through CI/HA.

Hearing a dog bark might not sound the exact the same if you use CI/HA and have had any type of hearing loss as before. Talk about colorblind. We have a choice to label the sounds we hear in any equipment we want.
 
For me its been mixed I know that for sure, the only reason I ever considered CI was because I have Menieres and feel like beating my head against a wall on most days. I never thought of getting one to hear again, because I have some residual hearing I dont want to right now and I figure if I can deal with the issues of Menieres right now then I think I can from here on out. Accepting what was happening to me quickly was tough because in the hearing world I knew no one that was Deaf, except an uncle who doesnt know any other deaf people. Everyone around me didnt know how i was feeling or anything. That was the tough part. But making the transition is hard also. Still am making that almost 3 years later. I honestly have no idea where I would be without this website, thank you to everyone here SERIOUSLY! oxoxox
 
It's scary and interesting to hear the "same" sound the same way a hearing person can hear, but in our own language through CI/HA.

Hearing a dog bark might not sound the exact the same if you use CI/HA and have had any type of hearing loss as before. Talk about colorblind. We have a choice to label the sounds we hear in any equipment we want.

All folks are soundblind when speaking. If you play back a recording of a hearing person's voice, they always are shocked. Is that really me???? they ask. :giggle:
 
All folks are soundblind when speaking. If you play back a recording of a hearing person's voice, they always are shocked. Is that really me???? they ask. :giggle:

Soundblind? I remember being recorded and then when it plays, I would hear myself but with a noisy background. "... Is this recorder broken or what?" I get a little mad, but as long people understand me orally, its all good.

EDIT: seriously is all recorders like that? I don't remember hearing that kind of voice on tv or radio. Or at least being reminded of the recorder. Give a person with a very good and clear voice a recorder... Time to give myself a little education with Google.

EDIT 2: It depends on your tape recorder. Some are better than others, but none will record your voice 100% accurate. Good to know and bet its fun to play around with a cheap one. :)
 
We, who were born deaf, don't know what we are missing, therefore we are comfortable being Deaf.

I will say that I'm not comfortable being deaf, in spite of being deaf all my life. I'm one of those in between. I have one foot in the deaf world, the other in the hearing world. I see benefits in both (being able to sleep at night without noises yet enjoy music to the extent I can), but I also see hardships in both (there is an entire world I can experience that are closed to several manual deaf people, and yet I can't participate fully in the hearing world and need an interpreter in group situations).

I'm not accepted fully in either world. As a matter of fact, I'm not accepted anywhere except family, and I have no family here. I just straight up don't feel like I belong on this planet, but sorry for the thread hijack.

Robin, it IS a tragedy for a child sometimes. You have NO idea what I went through as a child. I was a hell-raiser because no one knew I was deaf until I was almost 7. I didn't communicate well enough until I was past 8. Until then, I had no way to get my needs met. I remember as a baby small enough that my head was under halfway up the height of the fridge door, and I remember Dad mouthing "What do you want" in a normal manner as he squatted down to me in the light of the fridge. I could barely see above the first shelf above the crisper. I had no way to communicate hunger. It was just there, and I had to lead Mom or Dad to the fridge. I was ANGRY when they couldn't understand. Or scared crapless when they didn't get what it was I was afraid of in the darkness of my bedroom.

However, here's another reason I was a hell raiser. I started uttering words before I was a year old, then at seven months (according to my baby book), I didn't pick up any more words until a few years later. I have memories of pointing out the ears in an anatomy book to Mom to get her to understand something was wrong with my hearing, and I must have been 3 or 4. However, what I don't remember is starting to cry and falling asleep on the anatomy book (Mom told me many years later in my 20s). THAT is a tragedy because I knew something was wrong. My adult sister pointed out that I might be deaf, and my parents got mad and wouldn't speak to her for a year, until she was proven right after my first audiogram was done, AFTER I had already gone through kindergarten AND failed the first grade in six weeks. I was passed around from caretaker to another and taken to a school for developmentally-delayed children until the audiogram. I don't even remember what happened there. I just remember something funny was going on there.

I remember sitting at my desk in school wondering why in hell I had to be there and what all these kids and the woman up front was doing. I wasn't wondering in words, just a feeling of exasperation, impatience, as I wanted to go outside to play. I remember students standing up in kindergarten for some reason and looking at this long thing at the top of the ceiling from one end to the other (the alphabet), every day. I had no idea what they were doing.

This is not a place or topic where I want to get politically correct. This is the truth. I AM deaf. I HAVE a disability. The senses are there to provide a defense. Sight lets you avoid dangerous animals and situations, smell alerts you to the same thing you may not be able to see or hear, hearing lets you know what animals you might be faced with and whether they are likely to attack, touch lets you know you might be where it's dangerous to you (fire, extreme heat, hypothermia-inducing cold, etc.), and taste lets the naturally-living humans know if they are eating the appropriate foods intended for their digestive classification AND gears the digestive system for appropriate gastric secretions based on what foods they are eating.

If one of these senses are missing, you do have a disability because your ability to survive in the natural world is reduced, meaning you could walk off a cliff or straight into a bear's den, not smell a killing area where there might be animals on the defensive as they eat, hear predators in time to avoid them and get away from them, burn yourself badly when you pick up a previously-used-but-still-hot cooking rock and hold it for more than a few seconds (in the natural world, you can die from an infection of a burned area), or eat tainted or unripe food. In the natural world, you can die. People still do in a civilized world.

The only way you could realistically say that deafness is not a disability is if there is another world out there where ears and the sensation of hearing sounds is not evident anywhere in the world, maybe because of something different about the physics of that world (something about the physical characteristic of living and nonliving matter that prevents sound generation). The fact IS, you were designed to have ALL five senses present and operating, but something went wrong, regardless of whether you miss or missed it, or plain didn't know you were supposed to be able to do this or that. I would guess to the person who's never heard before and doesn't know what she's missing, deafness is not a disability. But in the scheme of things, as I said before, you're supposed to have all senses operating, as that is part of the design of the modern human body, plain and simple.

I accept the fact that I have a disability in spite of the fact that I don't let me stop me from working on the sales floor in the camping department, I don't let it stop me from developing my speech skills in different languages to the extent I can, I don't let it stop me from playing music and enjoying my favorite live bands, and so on. I am aware that there are a few things I can't do. A lot, actually. I can't serve in the military at any level, I can't pilot a plane in most situations, I can't work as a paramedic, I can't work where communication via phone/radio is required. I know that I could do those things physically, but there are situations where it's dangerous or liability is involved. That is a LOT. I've accepted this and learned to live with my limitations.
 
EDIT 2: It depends on your tape recorder. Some are better than others, but none will record your voice 100% accurate. Good to know and bet its fun to play around with a cheap one. :)

It's not that. It's more to do with the fact that hearing yourself through your head and inches from your mouth is a different acoustic environment from hearing the same voice as if you were someone else completely detached from yourself. The way you hear yourself will be different from how a person a few feet away will hear you. Everyone experiences this when you do a recording of yourself. Ask singers who have recorded.
 
Never know what you are missing until you lose it.

I knew what I missed because I am HOH . If I had to be HOH I would had been born hearing then lose it when I got older and already gotten a good education. I hate it that I was send to a reject class in school all because no one knew I was HOH until I failed first grade 2 times. I was almost 7 and one half years old when people realize I was HOH. My older sister knew when people told her I was retarded that they where wrong but no would still to a children. I wish people would think before they made a statement that losing hearing it worst than being born deaf or HOH . How the hell do they know what it was like for someone born HOH when they born hearing!
 
I became deaf within hours. Totally deaf. But, coming to this site I have found so many different stories. I don't feel better or worse than other deaf people. I think we all deal with this in the same way. Of course I had not made plans for this, so I am not prepared. I'm learning though slowly but I'm learning.
 
I only know about my own experience.

I have Meniere's disease and have slowly been going deaf over the course of 30 years. First one side, then the other. I've done whatever I could to stall the progression, but I currently have very little hearing left.

I have never known any deaf person, never had the opportunity to learn sign, and did not expect to need to (I have other non-deaf family members with Meniere's disease). I live on a farm in a very remote place and can't drive because of my Meniere's disease (dizziness) so it is extremely hard for me to become a part of the deaf world. My family has not learned sign so I only know a little bit of ASL, that I've been able to teach myself from the internet.

This disease has pretty much ruined my life. I was surprised to see how many born-deaf people do not even consider themselves disabled, I feel very happy for them that they feel this way.

But I have not been the person that I am currently, my disease turned me into someone different, someone more shy, more anxious, less confident, less outgoing, and well, a lot less happy. I used to be involved with many things at once, in the "thick" of multiple projects as a career mom who also volunteered. Now I'm reduced to an invalid needing assistance from my family for even simple things like a visit to the doctor. This is so much less than I used to be. My family members are getting to know a new person, me.

I used to have a few favorite things, I was a huge music fan. That part of my life is over. I loved horses and had a life long dream to own one. I can no longer ride due to my balance issues. My favorite form of exercise was riding my bicycle and I don't have good enough balance for that either. I was extremely talkative and LOVED to be on the telephone, now I cannot use a regular phone at all. I could go on and on, but essentially my disease has ruined just about everything for me. I can still EXIST but the quality of life is low.

It is hard for me to imagine anything worse than how this has effected my life. What is worse than having it ruined? I think when you have a pattern set for life and a group of people you already know and love and interact with, it can be extremely difficult to go through the "change". For me, it has been happening slowly so I fluctuate between pretty much hearing conversations to pretty much not, and have to constantly remind people whether I'm "hearing" today or not. I get almost used to being deaf, and then I get a little hearing back, just enough to remind me how much I've been missing, before that little bit leaves again.

I certainly hope that people who are born deaf do not feel as unhappy as I do about this coming and going. But I don't mean to compare .....I don't think anyone can do that. We all have a unique experience. I certainly can say I experienced a full "regular" life before going deaf so perhaps I should be thankful to have experienced that instead of having this profound sadness about my loss. But when I see other people enjoying music or having easy conversations with each other at gatherings, I get horribly sad and feel left out of life. I wonder if I might have been happier had I always known this is what my life would be like and set myself up for it, by finding some career in the deaf world and deaf friends and companions. If I could go back and speak to myself as a young child and give myself advice, it would be to prepare for deafness.

But life doesn't work that way and happiness is not guaranteed. And I don't think anyone can compare their life to anothers. It just is.
 
Perhaps sometimes 'different' doesn't mean 'worse'. I think we can only see from our own perspective- I will never know what its like to be Deaf or HOH from birth, and I never will be able to fully see that side of the story. My childhood memories are, for the most part until high school, entirely hearing. That being said, somebody who has been Deaf or HOH all their lives is not going to fully understand how it felt for me to suddenly get it handed to me one day. They may understand to an extent, but will never have taken that walk in my shoes of such a lifestyle switch.
I will never understand what its like to be HOH fully, though, unless its in the cards for me to loose more hearing as life goes on, which is possible. I have a unilateral loss and can only speak from that.
Just chiming in, though... I'm new around here. Trying not to offend anyone on my second day on the forum.
 
...it IS a tragedy for a child sometimes. You have NO idea what I went through as a child. I was a hell-raiser because no one knew I was deaf until I was almost 7. I didn't communicate well enough until I was past 8. Until then, I had no way to get my needs met. I remember as a baby small enough that my head was under halfway up the height of the fridge door, and I remember Dad mouthing "What do you want" in a normal manner as he squatted down to me in the light of the fridge. I could barely see above the first shelf above the crisper. I had no way to communicate hunger. It was just there, and I had to lead Mom or Dad to the fridge. I was ANGRY when they couldn't understand. Or scared crapless when they didn't get what it was I was afraid of in the darkness of my bedroom.

However, here's another reason I was a hell raiser. I started uttering words before I was a year old, then at seven months (according to my baby book), I didn't pick up any more words until a few years later. I have memories of pointing out the ears in an anatomy book to Mom to get her to understand something was wrong with my hearing, and I must have been 3 or 4. However, what I don't remember is starting to cry and falling asleep on the anatomy book (Mom told me many years later in my 20s). THAT is a tragedy because I knew something was wrong. My adult sister pointed out that I might be deaf, and my parents got mad and wouldn't speak to her for a year, until she was proven right after my first audiogram was done, AFTER I had already gone through kindergarten AND failed the first grade in six weeks. I was passed around from caretaker to another and taken to a school for developmentally-delayed children until the audiogram. I don't even remember what happened there. I just remember something funny was going on there.

I remember sitting at my desk in school wondering why in hell I had to be there and what all these kids and the woman up front was doing. I wasn't wondering in words, just a feeling of exasperation, impatience, as I wanted to go outside to play. I remember students standing up in kindergarten for some reason and looking at this long thing at the top of the ceiling from one end to the other (the alphabet), every day. I had no idea what they were doing.
Would your life be the same if the society had accepted ASL in the first place instead of oral philosophy routine?? I don't think your life would be the same. I am all for early dectection of deafness to make sure the children have language skills but not for early CI implantation purpose.
This is not a place or topic where I want to get politically correct. This is the truth. I AM deaf. I HAVE a disability. The senses are there to provide a defense. Sight lets you avoid dangerous animals and situations, smell alerts you to the same thing you may not be able to see or hear, hearing lets you know what animals you might be faced with and whether they are likely to attack, touch lets you know you might be where it's dangerous to you (fire, extreme heat, hypothermia-inducing cold, etc.), and taste lets the naturally-living humans know if they are eating the appropriate foods intended for their digestive classification AND gears the digestive system for appropriate gastric secretions based on what foods they are eating.

If one of these senses are missing, you do have a disability because your ability to survive in the natural world is reduced, meaning you could walk off a cliff or straight into a bear's den, not smell a killing area where there might be animals on the defensive as they eat, hear predators in time to avoid them and get away from them, burn yourself badly when you pick up a previously-used-but-still-hot cooking rock and hold it for more than a few seconds (in the natural world, you can die from an infection of a burned area), or eat tainted or unripe food. In the natural world, you can die. People still do in a civilized world.

Hearing people do die. You are implying that having all 5 senses would keep one from dangers EVER. We know that it is not true. When we lose one sense, the other four senses take over. Sure, we work harder but it is doable.

The only way you could realistically say that deafness is not a disability is if there is another world out there where ears and the sensation of hearing sounds is not evident anywhere in the world, maybe because of something different about the physics of that world (something about the physical characteristic of living and nonliving matter that prevents sound generation). The fact IS, you were designed to have ALL five senses present and operating, but something went wrong, regardless of whether you miss or missed it, or plain didn't know you were supposed to be able to do this or that. I would guess to the person who's never heard before and doesn't know what she's missing, deafness is not a disability. But in the scheme of things, as I said before, you're supposed to have all senses operating, as that is part of the design of the modern human body, plain and simple.

I accept the fact that I have a disability in spite of the fact that I don't let me stop me from working on the sales floor in the camping department, I don't let it stop me from developing my speech skills in different languages to the extent I can, I don't let it stop me from playing music and enjoying my favorite live bands, and so on. I am aware that there are a few things I can't do. A lot, actually. I can't serve in the military at any level, I can't pilot a plane in most situations, I can't work as a paramedic, I can't work where communication via phone/radio is required. I know that I could do those things physically, but there are situations where it's dangerous or liability is involved. That is a LOT. I've accepted this and learned to live with my limitations.

Good for you. I do the same.... I don't let my deafness stop me. However the problem I have is that we have to accomodate the hearing people by learning to speak in spite of our hearing loss so the hearing people don't have to learn ASL. I don't like it when hearing employers think we can't do this or that thus prevent us from being the best we can be.

I don't like it when the hearing people dictate us in education and life. I don't like it when they screw up our career because of their limited idea on what a deaf person can do. I see it differently than you do. I see that the problem mostly lie with the hearing people and their refusal to learn ASL.
 
I think it's great to read other people's story and see how many of us have overcome our challenges. I respect that some feel their deafness is a disability while I don't. It is possible to have a positive outlook while considering your deafness a disability. I think that the healthiest view is to get to the point where you no longer feel it's a disability but look at it as just another way of being.

It is possible to also lean so far to the extreme that you consider your deafness as "somebody else" problem and make no attempt to compromise when communicating with hearing people.

So recognizing your limitations and dealing accordingly with the outside world is healthy no matter what labels you apply to it.
 
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