Why I Think Losing Hearing later in life is the worst

I don't think that she's trying to speak for the deaf. She's been here a long time and seen how other people have adjusted. I think that she means that she would do what other LD people here have done. I'm going to let her speak for herself though.
 
whatdidyousay! said:
You are way out of line saying " being deaf is NOT the worst thing that can happen to someone" There is no way you can speak for all the people that are deaf. I had a very dear friend that was piano concert player. She became very sick and got tinnitus and lost some hearing and was no longer able to play the piano or give lessons. She never adjusted to losing her hearing. You have no idea how other people feel .
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I think Oceanbreeze is saying that there is a way to keep on communicate after one lose hearing. There are some things that is worse than being deaf. One that happened to me personally is vertigo. No way I can control vertigo and it makes me stay in the bed. Being deaf is not like that. I still can go out and communicate via ASL. There is a way around the problem of being deaf but there is no way around when you are having a vertigo attack. The vertigo is mostly gone now. Nowadays I get it for just a second or so. This is alot better than my worse time ever which is 5 days.

Yes, I get that your friend lost her ability to hear music which obviously is her passion. That she lost her 'being'. I get that. However there are some things that are much worse than being deaf.
 
sallylou said:
I don't think that she's trying to speak for the deaf. She's been here a long time and seen how other people have adjusted. I think that she means that she would do what other LD people here have done. I'm going to let her speak for herself though.
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I'm certainly not trying to speak for the deaf, but, I also think there IS a difference between someone who is born deaf and someone who's had hearing most of their lives, and then, suddenly they lose their hearing.

In the latter case, there is that adjustment period I was talking about earlier. You're right in that people will react differently. I completely agree with that. No two people are the same, so therefore, the reaction will be different from person to person. HOWEVER, there is still an adjustment period involved; regardless of how big or how small. IT IS still there.

As for what would do, I've contemplated this.

For those that don't know, I'm high risk for aquiring a hearing loss due to exposure to ototoxic drugs. Therefore, it's prompted me to think about "What if?" Taking what I've learned from this forum, I'd hone my ASL skills. I'd get more involved in the Deaf community, and, I'd look into HAs. As for the CI, I'd consider it, but given my risk of infection and other factos, I wouldn't just jump at it like the "Golden carrot".

I'm NOT the type of person think that deafness would be the WORST thing to have happened to me. Someone else may think that way, but I wouldn't. That is not to say that I also wouldn't struggle to adjust, but I also, would find the resources I needed to help me cope with the situation I've been dealt.
 
Oceanbreeze said:
I'm NOT the type of person think that deafness would be the WORST thing to have happened to me. Someone else may think that way, but I wouldn't. That is not to say that I also wouldn't struggle to adjust, but I also, would find the resources I needed to help me cope with the situation I've been dealt.
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It's interesting that many people who have suffered a physical loss of some type will, at some point, come around to saying, "Well, this isn't the WORST that could have happened to me. After all, I still have...(my sight, my mental faculties, my family, something...)"

I posted recently about the nephew of a friend of mine who had his legs blown off in Afghanistan. He is living in a hospital now, getting therapy, gradually getting stronger. Apparently he has a wonderful attitude and is working hard at whatever therapy he is given.

According to my friend, this young man is saying, literally "Well, it's not the worst that could have happened. I'm still alive, still have all my senses, still have my fiancee." (I didn't know about the fiancee earlier; turns out she has moved to be with him now and is with him step-by-step as he goes through this.)

Me, if I lost my legs - I cannot imagine how devastated I would feel.

So I can understand that those who have hearing might think they would be devastated if they lost it. And I totally agree that there is always an adjustment process. But maybe, all said and done, if and when it does happen, a person might still say "Well, ok, I've lost my hearing, but I still have such-and-such, so it's not the worst thing that could have happened."

For those of us who are late-deafened, I'm sure we've all gone through periods of thinking "why me?" or "what caused this?" And maybe there are answeres, maybe there aren't. But eventually we come to acceptance, each in our one ways, and soldier on regardless. We will all come up with our own solutions to the challenges in our own life.
 
Oceanbreeze said:
For those that don't know, I'm high risk for aquiring a hearing loss due to exposure to ototoxic drugs. Therefore, it's prompted me to think about "What if?" Taking what I've learned from this forum, I'd hone my ASL skills. I'd get more involved in the Deaf community, and, I'd look into HAs. As for the CI, I'd consider it, but given my risk of infection and other factos, I wouldn't just jump at it like the "Golden carrot".
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Ah, now I know why you are on the AD forum.
 
Buffalo said:
Ah, now I know why you are on the AD forum.
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Actually, no. That is just an assumption on your part.

I joined AD back in 2004 when a friend of mine also joined. She was a recent implantee and had issues with infection and needed to be explanted; then reimplanted. She eventually left AD, but, I stayed.

My original intent was to support her. Since she has moved on, but, I made friends and continue to do so. Therefore, I stay.

I also have a long history of associating with the deaf dating back to HS.
 
Oceanbreeze said:
Actually, no. That is just an assumption on your part.

I joined AD back in 2004 when a friend of mine also joined. She was a recent implantee and had issues with infection and needed to be explanted; then reimplanted. She eventually left AD, but, I stayed.

My original intent was to support her. Since she has moved on, but, I made friends and continue to do so. Therefore, I stay.

I also have a long history of associating with the deaf dating back to HS.
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Oh, ok.
 
I'm going to take exception to the title stating that late deafened is the "worst". It is very dangerous to start comparing with the mind set that some are worse off than others. How about if we agree that late deafened have different issues to deal with than do congenitally or prelingually deafened? But just because the issues are different doesn't mean one is "worse" or "better" than the other. There are still many similarities, if one will allow themselves to see them. Different does not have to be quantified.
 
I've thought about this, and as someone who has been intensely studying ASL and Deaf culture for the past few years, I think I'd be perfectly fine if I woke up tomorrow profoundly deaf. Not that there wouldn't be a period of adjustment (I'd really miss listening to music), but I couldn't see myself being devastated and becoming depressed. It helps that my family knows ASL, so we would still be able to communicate, which I think is extremely significant. I can see how people who have nothing to fall back on and suddenly find themselves isolated would have a more difficult time.
 
Mountain Man said:
I've thought about this, and as someone who has been intensely studying ASL and Deaf culture for the past few years, I think I'd be perfectly fine if I woke up tomorrow profoundly deaf. Not that there wouldn't be a period of adjustment (I'd really miss listening to music), but I couldn't see myself being devastated and becoming depressed. It helps that my family knows ASL, so we would still be able to communicate, which I think is extremely significant. I can see how people who have nothing to fall back on and suddenly find themselves isolated would have a more difficult time.
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I have often said the same thing.:wave:
 
Ocean- I think you have a very healthy attitude about things.

I think I'd tend to agree that losing your hearing after you've had it would be a more difficult transition.

An example: My Grandmother; may she rest in peace, began to lose her hearing in her 70's. When she found out my son had a hearing loss, she went upstairs and cried. I was not there at the time.

What I tried to explain to her later was that this was all he ever knew, and would ever know. It was okay, because we had a way to communicate and that he would feel good in his own skin. That I made a commitment to him, to always be one step ahead doing my best to ensure he was accessing his environment.

While experiences are individual and can vary greatly, having a hearing loss is not the worst thing that could happen. I would have loved my child regardless of anything, but I was cognizant of the fact that there are children in this world with severe intellectual disabilities who couldn't even communicate their wants and needs. It puts things in perspective. We had the ability to communicate, which to me was first and foremost.
 
CSign said:
Ocean- I think you have a very healthy attitude about things.

I think I'd tend to agree that losing your hearing after you've had it would be a more difficult transition.

An example: My Grandmother; may she rest in peace, began to lose her hearing in her 70's. When she found out my son had a hearing loss, she went upstairs and cried. I was not there at the time.

What I tried to explain to her later was that this was all he ever knew, and would ever know. It was okay, because we had a way to communicate and that he would feel good in his own skin. That I made a commitment to him, to always be one step ahead doing my best to ensure he was accessing his environment.

While experiences are individual and can vary greatly, having a hearing loss is not the worst thing that could happen. I would have loved my child regardless of anything, but I was cognizant of the fact that there are children in this world with severe intellectual disabilities who couldn't even communicate their wants and needs. It puts things in perspective. We had the ability to communicate, which to me was first and foremost.
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Thank you. :)

Another interesting thing to note:

My Dad IS losing his hearing and has been for the last 10 yrs or so. He's in his mid 60s. He hasn't accepted that he may be losing his hearing. He's gone to the Dr who says it's wax or it's allergies, but we no longer think it is. I've tried pushing him to see an ENT for a referral to an audi, but, he's stubborn and won't go. The thought of wearing HAs, to him is just... Well, let's not go there! :lol:

Its frustrating, though, because the rest of us KNOW something is going on. He has to have the TV up loud (won't use the caption feature, though *sigh*), and has to ask for repeats. I don't mind repeating what I've said to him, but I also WISH he'd investigate things further. I really do believe that he has a moderate loss and HAs would do him a world of good. But, such is life with a stubborn man...
 
If the doctor said it's wax or allergies, why didn't he treat your dad for that, or at least give him a referral to someone who could?

I remember my mom thinking HER mom had lost her hearing, because Grandma was always turning the TV up so loud. Grandma was about 80 years old at the time.

Finally she went to the doctor, who removed a TON of wax from her ears, and voila - TV volume was then returned to normal. She never had another hearing problem for the rest of her life (died when she was in her late 80's).
 
Mountain Man said:
I've thought about this, and as someone who has been intensely studying ASL and Deaf culture for the past few years, I think I'd be perfectly fine if I woke up tomorrow profoundly deaf. Not that there wouldn't be a period of adjustment (I'd really miss listening to music), but I couldn't see myself being devastated and becoming depressed. It helps that my family knows ASL, so we would still be able to communicate, which I think is extremely significant. I can see how people who have nothing to fall back on and suddenly find themselves isolated would have a more difficult time.
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Mountain Man; I have been saying something similiar for long time. ASL is a safety net just in case a person become deaf. That is why I thought if everybody (like Martha's Vineyard in 18th century) knows ASL, things would be alot better than if everybody just speak. If a senior citizen find him/herself losing hearing but can't afford a hearing aid, he/she can always be part of the conversation if everybody knows ASL.
 
Beach girl said:
If the doctor said it's wax or allergies, why didn't he treat your dad for that, or at least give him a referral to someone who could?

I remember my mom thinking HER mom had lost her hearing, because Grandma was always turning the TV up so loud. Grandma was about 80 years old at the time.

Finally she went to the doctor, who removed a TON of wax from her ears, and voila - TV volume was then returned to normal. She never had another hearing problem for the rest of her life (died when she was in her late 80's).
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Oh, he did. He cleaned out the wax and also gave him medication for allergies, which Dad took. It did no good. It would appear that Dad IS losing his hearing and has been for quite some time. Like I said, we've noticed changes about 5-10 yrs ago. This is NOT a new problem by any means. He's just simply stubborn and won't go to an ENT to investigate it further. I think he's afraid that it is, in fact, a hearing loss. :aw:
 
whatdidyousay! said:
My dad and mother did not push me too hard , dad thought I was a jackass.
He use to say to people "a guy had a jackass and he send it all over the word
and it still came home a jackass, that is my daughter ____..meaning me!
And to think I was the one that got my dad a marker for being a WW1 vet.
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I am sorry.
 
Grummer said:
i dunno if id agree....social death in later life is worse than social death right from the start, on top of that you're not allow to learn sign and be expected to make any choices of how you want to make a living... whereas in 'later stage of life' you have HAD oppurtunity to CHOOSE because discrimination never existed before..
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It's very hard to hear when your dead!! LOL



{"social death} in later life is worse than social death right from the start, on top of that "
 
whatdidyousay! said:
It's very hard to hear when your dead!! LOL



{"social death} in later life is worse than social death right from the start, on top of that "
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Grum is referring to the exclusion that the deaf experience at the hands of the hearing.
 
Oceanbreeze said:
But, that is what has to happen when one loses a sense they have. You've always been deaf, but someone who is late deafened has had hearing up to a point in their life. At the point they've lost their hearing, they have to figure out how to live life as a late deafened individual. How they do that is up to them, but it HAS to happen. There IS an adjustment period. It's the same for someone who has walked their entire life, and then for some reason, they lose that ability. There is an adjustment period.

I think a person would be deluded in thinking that a transition would not occur.
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And what made you think a child being born deaf does not have go thought a
adjustment period! I had to learn how to read people body language ! I did not know over night to look at people faces , I had to learn how to adjust to the hearing world as it sure was no going adjust to my world!
 
Being born deaf means not having a single sound in their book. On the other hand, losing hearing as your life goes on means having many sounds in their book, but losing them as the person's hearing situation gets worse. The person with hearing loss knows the sounds deep inside and can identify it. However if such a situation happens and you can never hear that same sound you heard before (using CI/HA), but a substitute of it, then I can somewhat agree with you on that. For my situation, hearing something is better than nothing. Hearing the sound the same or near to a hearing person is a bonus--a really great feeling, for me at least. :)
 
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