When expecting a child, would you want it to be deaf?

deaf and hearing kids

I think it doesnt matter imporant thing is that the kids BOTH deaf and hearing kids know that BOTH deaf and hearing parents had their own ways of raising their kids and that they love their kids regardless deaf or hearing and there is no right or wrong and its impossible to be right because all kids are not same there are no single kid that are same as other just like finger print there s no same ones.... And we all parents work together share our thoughts and what worked best and feedback to eachother ..... I see many parents do their own ways I disagree but it works for their kids. SO there no right way of raising the kids... right ?
 
My opinion for what its worth; a deaf parent may be more effective raising a deaf child than a hearing parent would. Just as a hearing parent may be more effective raising a hearing child than a deaf parent would.
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I think Liebling what Cloggy really meant is that what you experience firsthand you understand best,
For example if I told you I broke my hand but you never did, you can IMAGINE that hurts bad but unless you experience it yourself you have no way of KNOWING what it is really like..

Therefore, deaf parent understand deaf child from his own experience the best. For example, you would know the difficuties the deaf child could have in life. Hearing parent - his hearing kid, likewise.

But that does not mean you or I as deaf parents are less effective or worse than if we would if were hearing.


But which brings us to an interesting point - since a hearing parent is an expert at hearing,
it is possible that his implanted child may have the best results from being implanted.


Fuzzy
 
This is one of the most offensive threads ever. This just reminded me what my mom said when I asked her if she knew that she would have another deaf child, would she have had my brother. U know what she told me? She said "No, I wouldnt have tried for more kids if I had known that your dad and I carried the deaf gene." That was 20 something years ago but it left a huge impact on me. Like u Cloggy, I dont think my mom meant it to be offensive but it shows proof of how discriminated we, deaf people, are by hearing people and that BS needs to stop. Starting this thread just brings up all the issues of discrimination against us.
 
When I was pregnant with my daughter 6 months ago, I refuse to accpet ammnio. Because I don't want to know if my child deaf or hearing. All I care about is my child is born healthy no matter what. I know doctors want to recommend and encourage older women over 35 and up to have ammnio but it is our right to say no. I don't think I want to have a big huge needle stick my tummy to hurt me or the baby. I would love my baby no matter what.
 
shel90 said:
This is one of the most offensive threads ever. This just reminded me what my mom said when I asked her if she knew that she would have another deaf child, would she have had my brother. U know what she told me? She said "No, I wouldnt have tried for more kids if I had known that your dad and I carried the deaf gene." That was 20 something years ago but it left a huge impact on me. Like u Cloggy, I dont think my mom meant it to be offensive but it shows proof of how discriminated we, deaf people, are by hearing people and that BS needs to stop. Starting this thread just brings up all the issues of discrimination against us.
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:gpost::gpost::gpost:
 
rockdrummer said:
My opinion for what its worth; a deaf parent may be more effective raising a deaf child than a hearing parent would. Just as a hearing parent may be more effective raising a hearing child than a deaf parent would.
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:jaw:


How is that hearing parents are more effictive raising a hearing child than a deaf parents would? I am beyond shocked!

That was the tactic my ex hubby tried to use against me when we went to court for child custody for my daughter...that he was the better parent for her cuz he is hearing. That hurted me deeply...None of u hearing people will never understand the kind of pain that stabs deaf people's hearts when hearing people say things like that.

Normally, I agree with u RD on several issues but this one, I disagree strongly.

There are some hearing parents who have done better jobs raising their deaf children than deaf parents have done raising their own deaf children. I have seen it by bieng involved in both worlds.
 
shel90 said:
:jaw:


How is that hearing parents are more effictive raising a hearing child than a deaf parents would? I am beyond shocked!

That was the tactic my ex hubby tried to use against me when we went to court for child custody for my daughter...that he was the better parent for her cuz he is hearing. That hurted me deeply...None of u hearing people will never understand the kind of pain that stabs deaf people's hearts when hearing people say things like that.

Normally, I agree with u RD on several issues but this one, I disagree strongly.

There are some hearing parents who have done better jobs raising their deaf children than deaf parents have done raising their own deaf children. I have seen it by bieng involved in both worlds.
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I hear ya girl! My folks do the same thing to me since I told them Deaf mothers are just as good as hearing mothers, and told my mom keep judge, crizited me and boss me around and tell me what to do gone too far. So she knows now I will fight back to her and threat to stop her visit to my daughter. Hearing mothers need to back off of deaf mothers. It really a shame that they can't realized they treat us like crap. That hurts.
 
GarnetTigerMom said:
I hear ya girl! My folks do the same thing to me since I told them Deaf mothers are just as good as hearing mothers, and told my mom keep judge, crizited me and boss me around and tell me what to do gone too far. So she knows now I will fight back to her and threat to stop her visit to my daughter. Hearing mothers need to back off of deaf mothers. It really a shame that they can't realized they treat us like crap. That hurts.
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+1! **nodding agreement**
 
I agree with Shel, Jillio, and TigerMom. +1 for all of them.

I am deaf and seems like I have done way more for my daughter than her hearing dad has - who isn't even present in her life at all. Im sure there are 100s more out there like me.

I can't believe anyone here would say that hearing raise the hearing more effectively and that the deaf raise the deaf more effectively.

Parenting has nothing do to with whether or not you can hear - it has WAY more to do with are you providing the physical, medical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs of your child?

If a deaf parent can provide all of these - then they have struggled just as much as a hearing parent has and vice versa.

A deaf child will see their childhood as typical for them, they won't see it as some big shock that they were born deaf - its just who they are and how they grew up, much the same way a hearing child will see their childhood as typical.

Its when the child grows up and goes out into the world on their own (off to college and all that) do people start making a big fuss of being deaf will they start to think that oh- they are different.

As long as the parents of the deaf child don't make a deal of it, then the child will understand that there is nothing to hide or be ashamed of - nor does it make them 'special' - its just part of who they are.
 
Dixie said:
I agree with Shel, Jillio, and TigerMom. +1 for all of them.

I am deaf and seems like I have done way more for my daughter than her hearing dad has - who isn't even present in her life at all. Im sure there are 100s more out there like me.

I can't believe anyone here would say that hearing raise the hearing more effectively and that the deaf raise the deaf more effectively.

Parenting has nothing do to with whether or not you can hear - it has WAY more to do with are you providing the physical, medical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs of your child?

If a deaf parent can provide all of these - then they have struggled just as much as a hearing parent has and vice versa.

A deaf child will see their childhood as typical for them, they won't see it as some big shock that they were born deaf - its just who they are and how they grew up, much the same way a hearing child will see their childhood as typical.

Its when the child grows up and goes out into the world on their own (off to college and all that) do people start making a big fuss of being deaf will they start to think that oh- they are different.

As long as the parents of the deaf child don't make a deal of it, then the child will understand that there is nothing to hide or be ashamed of - nor does it make them 'special' - its just part of who they are.
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I feel that I, as a hearing parent, managed to raise a deaf child quite well, and there is no reason why a deaf parent cannot raise a hearing child just as well. My hearing status does not give me superior parenting skills. And to think that it would is absurd!
 
Dixie said:
I agree with Shel, Jillio, and TigerMom. +1 for all of them.

I am deaf and seems like I have done way more for my daughter than her hearing dad has - who isn't even present in her life at all. Im sure there are 100s more out there like me.

I can't believe anyone here would say that hearing raise the hearing more effectively and that the deaf raise the deaf more effectively.

Parenting has nothing do to with whether or not you can hear - it has WAY more to do with are you providing the physical, medical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs of your child?

If a deaf parent can provide all of these - then they have struggled just as much as a hearing parent has and vice versa.

A deaf child will see their childhood as typical for them, they won't see it as some big shock that they were born deaf - its just who they are and how they grew up, much the same way a hearing child will see their childhood as typical.

Its when the child grows up and goes out into the world on their own (off to college and all that) do people start making a big fuss of being deaf will they start to think that oh- they are different.

As long as the parents of the deaf child don't make a deal of it, then the child will understand that there is nothing to hide or be ashamed of - nor does it make them 'special' - its just part of who they are.
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U got that right, Dixie!!!
 
I know this post quickly turned into an argument/debate, and I don't have time to go back through all, but I wanted to say that since I can't have kids, if I ever adopted it'd be a DHH kid. Most don't get adopted because adoptive parents don't want to deal with the "extra stress" of having a "handicapped" child and I already sign and am HoH myself-- I think it'd be good to adopt a child I can most help and who is like me in some ways.
 
carrigantm9636 said:
I know this post quickly turned into an argument/debate, and I don't have time to go back through all, but I wanted to say that since I can't have kids, if I ever adopted it'd be a DHH kid. Most don't get adopted because adoptive parents don't want to deal with the "extra stress" of having a "handicapped" child and I already sign and am HoH myself-- I think it'd be good to adopt a child I can most help and who is like me in some ways.
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If I ever do adopt, it would be a DHH child because of the likely situation that nobody would really adopt them due to the ignorance about deafness. However, when it comes to carrying my own child, it doesnt matter if my child is born deaf or hearing. I would never wish one or the other..just that the child is born without any life-threatening illnesses.
 
shel90 said:
However, when it comes to carrying my own child, it doesnt matter if my child is born deaf or hearing. I would never wish one or the other..just that the child is born without any life-threatening illnesses.
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I'm the same as you, I care less if my child was born either hearing or deaf, as long there's no life-threatening disease. I don't think I could handle a life-threatening disease not with a kind of heart I have, I would just lose it because I would just hate it more to see my child suffering.
 
I don't remember if I've answered this thread before or not, but I would not care if my own baby was born deaf or hearing. If I adopted a baby, I would want to adopt a deaf baby. My spouse and I are both hearing and she does not sign, but we have talked about it and she says she would not mind having a deaf baby, she would learn everything she needs to. So we are not planning to adopt but if we did, it would be a deaf baby. :)
 
This thread really got a lot of people talking. Interesting. I can tell you that as a hearing child of Deaf parents (well really my mom cuz my Deaf father is a piece of s***) my mom did a great job raising me. Were there things I took advantage of because of her deafness? Sure. When I was a teenager I could sneak out of the house without her hearing it and I would use relay to pretend like I was my mom to the school so I could take advantage. Could I have done that if I had a hearing mom? No. However, the effectiveness of parenting is not measured by hearing or deaf. Rather what makes someone effective as a parent is that they love and care for their child and do everything in their power to ensure that the child receives a great life. Deaf and hearing parents love their children the same no matter what.

My mom did a great job with me and I can't imagine having a hearing mother. It made me special growing up because I was unique and so was my mom. JMO.
 
I rather to have child born with mutant power that can have heal-factor, power-flight and super-strenght. Oh my, kids can protect for us. I would hit the jackpot!
 
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