What Ticks You Off (Most) About Hearies?

People I play softball with knew I was losing hearing. Some that didn't know me well didn't. When I started wearing a hearing aid people posted on a message board that I was so pretentious and full of myself that they saw me on the field playing with a bluetooth in my ear.......
 
alldeaf has been helpful

Since coming here I am starting to learn more about dealing with hearing people. Just taking the step and differentiating is a useful tool. This is how isolated I have been with all of this.
Most people really just don't know and need a little patient education. Some of course more than others. It is frustrating for people to change how they do things. Often in my world I am dealing with some amazingly stubborn personalities. I have had to work to a higher standard for so long that there is often a competitive aspect to things that I am not aware of unless I kind of do a refocus on what is going on.
Being different creates a higher profile whether one wants it or not. Still they learn- often I will take the time to make sure they understand that I really cannot hear them and how to talk to me so I know what they are saying. Sometimes I purposely talk about being hoh and what it is like. Or just casually pull out the hearing aid and change the battery. Believe me at first they are all eyes when I do that. While I am hard of hearing in many en vironments I am deaf. It has been great learning here.
I pretend empathy sometimes for the suffering they must go through dealing with me. Sometimes if there is blatant disrespect they encounter someone that has suddenly turned into a smiley guy into a raging redfaced big guy that can cause them serious damage. This is something I have to resort to several times a year. It is a happy moment for me when they transition into the respect mode. Basically that is what it all about. Do they respect me as a fellow human being? Once that is established it is all easy.
 
The one that gets me the most just happend for the first time. I was in the night club with my aids off because I couldn't hear anything but noise. I didn't hear the person behind me talking to me (I can't hear behind me at all anyways) and they reached up and turned my aids on. They said "That's better you can hear me now!" I slapped them (they were a stranger) and said "No I can't! Don't ever touch me without my permission again and especially don't touch my ears!" A friend of mine happend to see what happend and explained to them that I can't hear at all in the club and its very rude to touch people like that and security kicked them out!
 
mizerey said:
The one that gets me the most just happend for the first time. I was in the night club with my aids off because I couldn't hear anything but noise. I didn't hear the person behind me talking to me (I can't hear behind me at all anyways) and they reached up and turned my aids on. They said "That's better you can hear me now!" I slapped them (they were a stranger) and said "No I can't! Don't ever touch me without my permission again and especially don't touch my ears!" A friend of mine happend to see what happend and explained to them that I can't hear at all in the club and its very rude to touch people like that and security kicked them out!
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How do they know your HA is off? and how do they even know how to turn it on?
 
they probably have family who have lost their hearing due to age. But yeah, if your hearing aid is off, and they are right next to you, calling for you....They know it is off when they see you not responding.
 
Lighthouse77 said:
they probably have family who have lost their hearing due to age. But yeah, if your hearing aid is off, and they are right next to you, calling for you....They know it is off when they see you not responding.
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But in a club with all that noise, you might not hear them even with the hearing aids on because it's just a cloud of noise.

Not to mention, it's totally inappropriate for a stranger to turn your HA on like that.
 
The reason they knew it was off was that to turn mine off you have to partially open the battery door. I have phonak extra 211 ha. I'm sure they thought they were being helpful but even with them on I don't hear anything. Its just too loud in the club. All my friends and the bar staff know that I can't hear in there so they get my attention so I can read their lips.
 
that is weird. how can they be helpful? I mean, I can see people being helpful when someone dropped something and they didn't noticed, but being helpful because they think you didn't noticed it was off? or did you mean, being helpful so you can communicate with them better. I think they should know very well that you know what work and what doesn't.
 
They probably thought that I was going to lose the batteries. I will never know their true thoughts because security threw them out.
 
Jiro said:
How do they know your HA is off? and how do they even know how to turn it on?
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The offender probably touched in the general area (HA is so small) and that would be enough to ascertain their motive for doing this. :D
 
Hello! I'd just like to say that it has been very interesting and insightful to read your posts. Thank you so much for sharing your frustrations. :ty:

I hope to never be guilty of repeating any of them. :laugh2:
 
TXgolfer said:
People I play softball with knew I was losing hearing. Some that didn't know me well didn't. When I started wearing a hearing aid people posted on a message board that I was so pretentious and full of myself that they saw me on the field playing with a bluetooth in my ear.......
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That is hilarious and tells a lot about human nature. They immediately assume the worse about something.

I dont mind when someone tries to talk louder and over enunciate when they find out I am hoh. Theyre just trying to help. I just explain to them I read lips and all they need to do is face me and speak clearly.
 
I don't know if this was posted but it makes me feel silly when people wave a hand or something in front of me(I can still see!) and say stuff like "HELLLLLLLLLO. CAAAAAAN YOUUUU HEEEEAR MEEEE?". All I can hear is a sort of noise anyway, but it doesn't help when people exaggerate the pronunciation. I know some people are honestly trying to help but it makes me feel kind of like I'm being toyed with. And I get the feeling people who don't know me want to dummy things down around me. I don't like to reamin bitter, but it's a thing that I still see.
TXgolfer said:
People I play softball with knew I was losing hearing. Some that didn't know me well didn't. When I started wearing a hearing aid people posted on a message board that I was so pretentious and full of myself that they saw me on the field playing with a bluetooth in my ear.......
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That made me chuckle. I kind of thought the opposite when I saw those things. I was thinking that perhaps there were more deaf people than I had thought. I admit I don't wear an HA everywhere but thinking it was a bluetooth is...wow.
 
i was a Deaf Studies major in college. i can't tell you HOW many times when asked what i majored in during college and i say "deaf studies", people always say......"what?" A) like it's SO funny and B) like they're the first person to ever attempt that lame joke!
 
I hate it when people say "Oh, I'm so soooooooorry" when they find out I'm deaf. Jeez - I don't need your apologies. Just be yourself.
 
I actually had several people in high school I've never met come up to me and tell me, "You're the best-looking person with hearing aids I've ever met! I didn't know there were any attractive people who wore hearing aids!".

No lie. I didn't even bother to thank them for their so-called "compliment"! It really had me burning up!! :mad:
 
HoH_Jordan said:
I actually had several people in high school I've never met come up to me and tell me, "You're the best-looking person with hearing aids I've ever met! I didn't know there were any attractive people who wore hearing aids!".

No lie. I didn't even bother to thank them for their so-called "compliment"! It really had me burning up!! :mad:
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Oh goodness, I would be feel so frustrated and disgusted if I heard that. It's like putting us in a whole other category for judging looks. It's already enough that the way we hear and communicate are usually looked down upon, but to have a lower category and expectation for appearance is just mean. And "I didn't know there were any attractive people who wore hearing aids"??? I would feel a bit conceited for being mad at that, but if someone said that to me in high school I'd probably get embarrassed and never wear an ha to school ever again(or at least until someone tried to make me).
 
Tujae said:
I experienced some things that bothered me as a CODA:

1) People trash-talking me to my face because they see I'm using sign language and they think I'm too "deaf and dumb" to say anything back.

2) People talking very loudly and slowly to me. Seriously, what is that supposed to do?

3) "Can you lipread"? I just think it's a strange question for a hearing person to ask a hearing person.
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a) strangggeee. Never had something like that happen. Did you slap him/her or something? Usually people respond to anger/physical touch. Or less physical: the flying bird. I think that one is universally understood by the hearies.:shock::fu2:

b) I'd ask the person if he/she was from Ken-tuck-eeeeee. :crazy:

c) yeah, totally. I can lipread but I don't use it when I'm not in a conversation because it's rude. Hearing people will ask me to do it. I can tell if they're testing me (quickly) and if they're not I tell them it's grossly impolite.
 
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