What are you thinking about? Part III

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Shel, I'm sorry to hear how events have turned out for you. I personally think he's fed the court a line of BS and purposely made it look like he's poor on paper so that he wouldn't have to pay for air fare to fly your daughter back to you. He probably didn't expect $700 in child support and is running with it for now. Sadly it is usually the non-custodial parent that is ordered to pay.

If you knew it were honestly going to be used for your daughter then you wouldn't care how much, but with a girlfriend and 3 other children in the house and he's suddenly in the poor house makes me wary. At $700/month that kid ought to be wearing Nikes and not walmart brand!

Have you made it clear to the judge that you are currently working two jobs just to cover the bills you currently have and that $700/month is not currently feasible given the circumstances. If possible try to compromise with $350, if you're willing to pay at least half the judge might let you off with $500 if your sincere about it. Just make sure the judge fully understands your financial situation and explain to him the bills you have versus the income you have.

This is one of those times I'm glad my exhusband disappeared into oblivion, at least I know I don't have to put up with his BS, however the trade-off by not looking for him is that I don't receive child support at all. However he can't keep a job for more than just a month or two at a time so I know there wouldn't be child support even if I tried. Not only that he's constantly in and out of jail and served his first prison stint not long after our divorce. I'm glad my DD will never have to know her dad spent time in prison and honestly she doesn't know about him other than he's just not around and never talked about. I have a feeling that one day she will ask me about her dad.

Would child support help me financially as a struggling single parent to provide for my child? Yes.

In light of the situation is it worth the piddly court ordered $25/wk child support payments? No.

It just sucks and it's gonna suck until I complete my degree and get a good job and prove that I can do it.
 
Jiro - around here $700/month is A LOT. Of course we also have a lower cost of living here as well as lower median incomes.

Yes I can understand $700 should go towards clothes, school and extracurricular activities, food/housing and medical expenses.

But here's the thing if they are in the poorhouse as her ex claims - the child should be covered by state-sponsored health insurance similar to ARKids1st here in Arkansas. This generally covers an annual physical exam, eye exam and dental exam as well as prescription medications with a very small copay. The last time I had to use this for my DD when she was ill I had a $4 co-pay for her medicine.

School expenses if it is a public school should be minimal - again if they are as poor as the ex claims, the child should be receiving free or reduced price meals at school as per USDA child nutrition guidelines. Due to my living arrangements our total income exceeds the income limit on this program so Maddie receives full price meals.

Housing and food should be an expense already being covered by the custodial parent currently. The only thing that should go up is the grocery bill and the utilities will increase slightly.

Transportation, the child is currently not old enough to drive, and if the ex is as poor as he claims, there will be no vehicle for the 16th birthday. Also if there is public transportation available, students should be able to use it free of charge or the child can catch the school bus to school.

As for sports activities, these should be completely up to the child to participate or not, not the parents. However in Shel's case I don't think the child is involved in sports/extracurricular activities, but I also realize this can change as the child's interests change as she will grow. Basketball shoes don't cost $700 (typically $65-120 depending on brand and style, Jordans cost $120 or more, other Nike basketball shoes can go for $65-80) Yes clothes can be expensive but the girl doesn't have to wear Dolce and Gabbana or Gaultier or Abercrombie and Fitch.

Not saying your wrong, just stating how it could be divided up amongst expenses. I say whatever is left at the end of the month should be put back for a college fund specifically for that child to where only that child can access it on their graduation day.

But then again, I'm not used to $700 flying around, even when I was working for Tyson, that was a chunk of change.
 
Dixie said:
Jiro - around here $700/month is A LOT. Of course we also have a lower cost of living here as well as lower median incomes.

Yes I can understand $700 should go towards clothes, school and extracurricular activities, food/housing and medical expenses.

But here's the thing if they are in the poorhouse as her ex claims - the child should be covered by state-sponsored health insurance similar to ARKids1st here in Arkansas. This generally covers an annual physical exam, eye exam and dental exam as well as prescription medications with a very small copay. The last time I had to use this for my DD when she was ill I had a $4 co-pay for her medicine.

School expenses if it is a public school should be minimal - again if they are as poor as the ex claims, the child should be receiving free or reduced price meals at school as per USDA child nutrition guidelines. Due to my living arrangements our total income exceeds the income limit on this program so Maddie receives full price meals.

Housing and food should be an expense already being covered by the custodial parent currently. The only thing that should go up is the grocery bill and the utilities will increase slightly.

Transportation, the child is currently not old enough to drive, and if the ex is as poor as he claims, there will be no vehicle for the 16th birthday. Also if there is public transportation available, students should be able to use it free of charge or the child can catch the school bus to school.

As for sports activities, these should be completely up to the child to participate or not, not the parents. However in Shel's case I don't think the child is involved in sports/extracurricular activities, but I also realize this can change as the child's interests change as she will grow. Basketball shoes don't cost $700 (typically $65-120 depending on brand and style, Jordans cost $120 or more, other Nike basketball shoes can go for $65-80) Yes clothes can be expensive but the girl doesn't have to wear Dolce and Gabbana or Gaultier or Abercrombie and Fitch.

Not saying your wrong, just stating how it could be divided up amongst expenses. I say whatever is left at the end of the month should be put back for a college fund specifically for that child to where only that child can access it on their graduation day.

But then again, I'm not used to $700 flying around, even when I was working for Tyson, that was a chunk of change.
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perfectly understandable. I'm pretty sure they live in "ritzy" suburb in Arizona so $700/month is kinda bare minimum especially for a suburb child.

to clarify something for you - transportation. I'm referring to a cost of driving a child to wherever.
 
Dixie said:
Jiro - around here $700/month is A LOT. Of course we also have a lower cost of living here as well as lower median incomes.

Yes I can understand $700 should go towards clothes, school and extracurricular activities, food/housing and medical expenses.

But here's the thing if they are in the poorhouse as her ex claims - the child should be covered by state-sponsored health insurance similar to ARKids1st here in Arkansas. This generally covers an annual physical exam, eye exam and dental exam as well as prescription medications with a very small copay. The last time I had to use this for my DD when she was ill I had a $4 co-pay for her medicine.

School expenses if it is a public school should be minimal - again if they are as poor as the ex claims, the child should be receiving free or reduced price meals at school as per USDA child nutrition guidelines. Due to my living arrangements our total income exceeds the income limit on this program so Maddie receives full price meals.

Housing and food should be an expense already being covered by the custodial parent currently. The only thing that should go up is the grocery bill and the utilities will increase slightly.

Transportation, the child is currently not old enough to drive, and if the ex is as poor as he claims, there will be no vehicle for the 16th birthday. Also if there is public transportation available, students should be able to use it free of charge or the child can catch the school bus to school.

As for sports activities, these should be completely up to the child to participate or not, not the parents. However in Shel's case I don't think the child is involved in sports/extracurricular activities, but I also realize this can change as the child's interests change as she will grow. Basketball shoes don't cost $700 (typically $65-120 depending on brand and style, Jordans cost $120 or more, other Nike basketball shoes can go for $65-80) Yes clothes can be expensive but the girl doesn't have to wear Dolce and Gabbana or Gaultier or Abercrombie and Fitch.

Not saying your wrong, just stating how it could be divided up amongst expenses. I say whatever is left at the end of the month should be put back for a college fund specifically for that child to where only that child can access it on their graduation day.

But then again, I'm not used to $700 flying around, even when I was working for Tyson, that was a chunk of change.
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Really has nothing to do with his income.....In most states it is a % of the person payings income......In TX 20% for one child is the guideline regardless of how much the other person makes.
 
My ex makes $42K at his current job and owns a house in AZ. I don't think $42K is below the poverty line.

I just don't have an extra $700. That would mean I would be in the minus every month meaning absulotely no money for me to pay for gas to get to work, food, or other basic needs for myself. Oh well.

I just don't trust my ex to use the money for my daughter. He will use it on his girlfriend and her 3 kids. My daughter was left to go without prescription glasses for a whole year until I found out about it over the recent Christmas break and immediately I got her new glasses. If he is making $42K a year, my daughter's needs should take priority over his girlfriend and her 3 kids. It is ridiculous that because of supporting them, he couldn't even afford measly glasses for her on that kind of salary.

What makes me so sick is that he made $82K at his job here in MD and he quit that to move to AZ. He could have waited until my daughter turned 18 to move.

That is why I am furious and have absulotely no sympathy for him. No health insurance for my daughter, can't afford to pay for dance school, and new clothes. It is bullshit because $42K is a decent salary by AZ standards.
 
I m thinking to get new glasses this weekend.
 
It's gonna be another cold and wet day here...I've no reason to complain tho'. ...with all the snow the other states have gotten...it's just blah weather and it affects my moods.
Am thinking about my 16 yr. old being diagnosed with high blood pressure, and being denied playing sports until it gets under control...he's in a depression over it. Talked to the Coach and he's told Matt that he could be the "Waterboy" until hopefully he gets better and has everything under control. And will be able to join the team soon as the doctor gives him a clean bill of health. Thanking my lucky stars we caught it before he possibly had a stroke playing tennis or football....He's very young to have this condition! And we've yet to find the reason for it, but he will be seeing the doctor next week, already has done lab work, so we hope to pinpoint the reason and work on the cure.
 
shel90 said:
My ex makes $42K at his current job and owns a house in AZ. I don't think $42K is below the poverty line.

I just don't have an extra $700. That would mean I would be in the minus every month meaning absulotely no money for me to pay for gas to get to work, food, or other basic needs for myself. Oh well.

I just don't trust my ex to use the money for my daughter. He will use it on his girlfriend and her 3 kids. My daughter was left to go without prescription glasses for a whole year until I found out about it over the recent Christmas break and immediately I got her new glasses. If he is making $42K a year, my daughter's needs should take priority over his girlfriend and her 3 kids. It is ridiculous that because of supporting them, he couldn't even afford measly glasses for her on that kind of salary.

What makes me so sick is that he made $82K at his job here in MD and he quit that to move to AZ. He could have waited until my daughter turned 18 to move.

That is why I am furious and have absulotely no sympathy for him. No health insurance for my daughter, can't afford to pay for dance school, and new clothes. It is bullshit because $42K is a decent salary by AZ standards.
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aaaah... I didn't know that he move to AZ. I recalled that in some law that if the one of the ex move away to another state, the child support tend to go up higher than if both ex'es stay in same state.

I did move to MD from Rochester, NY..it just because I'm not happy with this "gray city". I just keep getting depressing there. So, I made a very tough decision to move to MD. I know that my kids will be very upset but I told them that I promise I will come visit them every month even with special events. there are few times where I visit them 3 times in one month...(one for my daughter soccer games and one for my son band performance and one for just 3 of us for the weekend). So, I have not broken any promise for the next 9 years. Now this is only 350 miles which doesn't bothered me much..but if my ex ever move farther away, like to CA.. I will be very very upset.

I know it's a big adjustment for the CS expenses and I can feel for you. You know, it's the law that create this rules... same thing with if you getting a speed ticket that costing you $500, it's not the police idea to put that amount, it's the law that made this amount.
 
shel90 said:
My ex makes $42K at his current job and owns a house in AZ. I don't think $42K is below the poverty line.

I just don't have an extra $700. That would mean I would be in the minus every month meaning absulotely no money for me to pay for gas to get to work, food, or other basic needs for myself. Oh well.

I just don't trust my ex to use the money for my daughter. He will use it on his girlfriend and her 3 kids. My daughter was left to go without prescription glasses for a whole year until I found out about it over the recent Christmas break and immediately I got her new glasses. If he is making $42K a year, my daughter's needs should take priority over his girlfriend and her 3 kids. It is ridiculous that because of supporting them, he couldn't even afford measly glasses for her on that kind of salary.

What makes me so sick is that he made $82K at his job here in MD and he quit that to move to AZ. He could have waited until my daughter turned 18 to move.

That is why I am furious and have absulotely no sympathy for him. No health insurance for my daughter, can't afford to pay for dance school, and new clothes. It is bullshit because $42K is a decent salary by AZ standards.
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How in the heck was he able to obtain "custody" when he's not carrying health insurance for her?...Obviously, the court isn't looking at the big picture here!...I would point this out to the judge, even the new glasses issue that he did not acquire for her....Her 'best interests' are not taken into consideration here, I believe....

I would fight this tooth and nail, Shel! And if you do lose, I would make him accountable for every penny of the $700.00 that he is required to use for her benefit!...$700.00 a month is not peanuts! It's excessive in my opinion!

Keep up the fight, but in the meantime, take care of ur health! Have ur blood pressure checked often! Divorce is an ugly word/issue when you have children!

He needs to get off his ass and work 3 jobs like you do! Seems to be a lazy bum to me!
 
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