The fact that they hardly ever see hearing aids is one of the things that creates audism in the majority. And the fact that they feel it is acceptable to stare is evidence of the paternalistic behavior that comes with audism.
You are only partially right. It was so in the older generation, to whom any kind of disability was a cause of shame and concern of being branded as
"lesser" member of society. Deafness wasn't just one of the disabilities.
Nowadays, the change for the better is visible for starters in how the hearing aids itself evolved into the miniature marvels of technological art.
Out are clunky, unsightly pieces with complicated wires, ugly nude-colored BTE's, in shiny "NASA" looking modern ones.
People are thinking of those more as wearable functional art, not as mere medicinal prosthesis anymore.
As for staring, it has nothing to do whether it is hearing aids or boobs or green hair - people will stare at
anything. It is call rudeness.
and curiousness.
I didn't say anything about an "audist nature". I am referring to a sociological phenomena known as audism.
That's more or less what I meant.
The fact that you feel the husband needs help in dealing with his hearing problems is another way that audism is shown to penetrate even a few in the deaf community. That is a very paternalistic attitude.The husband is perfectly capable of deciding how he wants to handle his hearing problems. The wife needs help in allowing him to do so.
Because he does need at this point to be shown a few more things that could be done for him.
And you are forgetting a small but important thing- he is NOT in the deaf community which makes a HUGE difference.
He is not deaf yet, and he obviously is lost and suffering in his world in between deafness and hearing.
At this point in his life he can't neither hear nor sign, and it's obvious he doesn't know which way to turn yet.
And I don't see how enabling him to hear better with discreet hearing aids
is to be considered audism.
Does not many deaf wear the hearing aids with long hair?
And excuse me, while you might be the mother of a deaf born son who you are raising Deaf,
you STILL know NOTHING what it is like to be hard of hearing and living among hearing society,
so my suggestion is take a step back and listen, and listen good -
you may know a lot about deaf and deafness but you don't know EVERYTHING.
I, unlike you, grew up HoH in hearing world and I know what's like.
You do not throw a person who is
hoh and getting progressively worse
at the mercy of "let it be".
You do not do that, because I KNOW what is like to keep losing the hearing you have and be embarrassed about it, and panicking and not knowing which way to turn. YOU NEED HELP, even if you refuse to accept help.
So don't tell me about "husband being capable of how to handle his problem" because that's a crock.
Just the fact alone that he gets frustrated when he can not understand his wife and daughters tells me he is already high strung, and that's not good.
Everyone here forgets one basic thing- you all are very comfortable in your hoh or deaf ways because you already have good back -up and fall back
in this here deaf community. The husband obviously doesn't, and judging by his wife's words - he is getting himself isolated from his family out of frustration:
Unfortunately the pitch of my voice and our daughters voice is often out of his range of hearing so we have to repeat or he becomes frustrated and just ignores us.
Depending on the pitch of the sound, background noise, and which side the sound is coming from he doesn't hear it. He can read lips (sometimes). A lot of times he just nods or gets frustrated if he has to ask for something to be repeated and if he still can't hear he gets mad and seems to just tune everyone out.
He does suffer from depression.
Even go as far as assuming someone made fun of him because they were laughing and he just didn't hear what was said. This makes him angry because he misunderstood and friendships are lost (men and quick tempers). He has even become anti-social as a form of coping so he doesn't have to "bother" with misunderstandings or not hearing everything. He misses a lot of our daughters school activities because of the big crowds and background noises. I
I can tell he feels guilty.
Why do you think he is depressed? From being "capable"???? Does that sound "capable" to you??
May I point out he is this "capable" for at least 3 years??
He's been telling me for 3 years now that he will get a hearing aid
Geee....:roll:
Like I've said - takes one to know one.
We have here a man who can not accept losing his hearing because in his mind it's the older people who get deaf and wear aids:
He seems to link hearing aids with getting older (he's only 43) which he is having a hard time dealing with in itself.
so how do you think he even feels about "hop up and learn ASL" himself ???
No, this man needs a lot of delicate and diplomatic persuasion to get over his fear of admitting that the hearing loss and HA's
is not only for "old people"
before he is ready to show his new haring aids to the whole world,
let alone being "perfectly capable to deal wit it on his own".
Only then he will be ready to accept the idea of Deaf culture and what it may offer him.
Fuzzy
