Unsure how to help

Jiro said:
terp-in-training can learn effectively and quickly if there is a sizable deaf population otherwise.... how else can terp practice?

skill must be constantly practiced.
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Skype? :dunno:
 
I would say keep on what you are doing. Make a game (or two) with your children that involved ASL. Maybe he would join if it looks fun.

I wonder if he would get hearing aid that is in the ear as opposed to behind the ear. It would be so small and less obvious. He would have to hit the bottom before going for a hearing aid.
 
Audiofuzzy said:
No, it's not.

Sometimes people are being unreasonable out of ignorance and stubbornness,
and out of feeling embarrassed being seen with hearing aids on and thus being branded visibly as "disabled".
The point is to show there is nothing to it, nothing to be afraid off and even less to be embarrassed of.

People often refuse out of irrational reasons to do something for a long time, only to later say "I regret not doing it sooner!".

Even if the husband in question will have a hearings aids brought to him to try, he can still refuse to wear them.
Even if the ASL classes will be brought to him, he can refuse them.
But the point is, he may like them, too, however without them being delivered
directly to him
there sure isn't any chance for neither to happen.
Fuzzy
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Very good points Fuzzy!
 
He needs to come to terms with this on his own, when he's ready. He's an adult - and deserves to be treated like one.

The last thing you'd want to do is treat him as if because he's Hoh/deaf he's now not able to make his own life choices - booking doctors appointments and hauling him in like a delinquent 5year old isn't respectful, or the proper way for spouses/SOs to treat each other.

Since you are taking ASL classes, and are looking towards a Bachelors in ASL/English interpreting, I'd recommend that for your home YOU get:

1) Visual Signallers (Sonic Alert makes a FANTASTIC SYSTEM)
Visual signaller flash a light in a specific pattern to indicate that there is someone calling the landline, ringing the doorbell, etc.

2) Perhaps at some point look into getting a Uniphone (UltraTec)
A UniPhone is a 3-in-1 phone that is an amplified phone a 'regular phone' and a TTY (which does both VCO and HCO) all in one.

3) Load onto your computer/bookmark various Internet Relay Serives (IRS) and IM Prelay services (which use AIM/Yahoo or a proprietary IM by a relay company). These work much the way traditional landline relay services work, however use an internet connection instead of a phone line. It also means that you can place a relay call from the IM program on your cell phone, which is great. To learn more, just google "IM relay" and "IP relay" and (in the USA) you'll get all sorts of companies like Sprint, 711.com, Purple, etc who provide these services.

The advantage for you is that getting these assistive devices in place now allows you to become used to them and gain a greater understanding of technological aspects of being Hoh/d/Deaf first hand. It also allows your child(ren) to experience that being Hoh/Deaf isn't a "big deal" it just means that we do things a little different.
In time, your DH may find - on his own -that having the signallers etc in the house does make a big difference, and start becoming more open to other ideas.

Teaching the kids some ASL is another way that the family can start becoming more "hoh/deaf friendly" but in a non confrontational way. As the child(ren) learn a few signs, they naturally tend to show the other parent (your DH) what they are learning ... and because they are having fun with learning, in time your DH may become more interested in learning, initially not because of being Hoh/deaf, but because it's a "family thing".

The most important thing I can say - as someone who's Hoh/Deaf and lives in a hearing family...

Treat your DH with the respect, and understanding with which you'd want to be treated if it was you facing an unwanted, major, scary life change.
Just be there, when he's ready to move forward with things, he'll ask.
 
Thank you all so much. You have all have been very helpful.

In my area we do have a deaf/blind school but with limited access with a big lack of terps. I do volunteer as much as I can until I become more skilled. Unfortunately they do not have any deaf events. I am also on skype with anyone who is willing. I constantly practice in may car, in front of mirror, and on the net. I learned some sign as a child due to having a friend who was deaf and wanting to communicate with her. Since then I have always wanted to learn ASL but have not been able until the last few years.

Fuzzy you are right. Hubby is very embarassed about being seen wearing a hearing aid. He doesn't want to let anyone know he can't hear them. When he does bring up the subject with me he always says that he doesn't want anything anyone could see.

I do stand back and let him bring the subject up. I just needed to know the best route to take to be supportive. I don't want him feeling embarassed, ashamed, or pushed into anything he's not ready for. I understand it is a big adjustment. It means some things will have to be done differently that's all. It doesn't change who he is. I hope that doesn't come off as sounding harsh. I don't mean it that way. I understand changes are going to have to be made and he has to accept it before anything can be done. I have had to go through something similar myself but physically so I do understand in a way.

When he's ready I will direct him to AD and all of you wonderful people here. Thank you all so very much. Hope you all have a wonderful day.
 
hamrickwm said:
No hearing aids. He is considered legally deaf in one ear but is progressively worsening.
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Please can someone tell me what the term 'legally deaf' means. We don't use this terminology in the UK, so can someone explain what it means in terms of decibels hearing loss.
 
radioman said:
I disagree here jillio. You might encounter a low deaf/HoH population area but still have a local need for interpreters. If she is in such an area, then that means there could be a high demand for her services due to lack of bodies to provide such service. You of all people should know that deaf/hoh moves all the time.

To hamrickwm- I'd say as your skills grow, and the needs grow for your services, you will FIND the hidden deaf corners in your part of the world. When you husband sees you in that environment and is always welcomed when he is ready, he could very well come on his own.

On the other hand he may not be ready for a long time, who knows. Its a marriage thing, not deaf thing. It takes time and understanding to get through this between the two of you.

A side note- if you feel he needs hearing aids, you should be forewarned that since he is an adult, it will take a very long time to get used to wearing Hearing aids. Your audiologist most likely will tell you the same thing.

Good luck
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If there were a high demand for interpreting services, it would stand to reason that there is some sort of a deaf community with which to become acquainted. That was my point.
 
hamrickwm said:
Thank you all so much. You have all have been very helpful.

In my area we do have a deaf/blind school but with limited access with a big lack of terps. I do volunteer as much as I can until I become more skilled. Unfortunately they do not have any deaf events. I am also on skype with anyone who is willing. I constantly practice in may car, in front of mirror, and on the net. I learned some sign as a child due to having a friend who was deaf and wanting to communicate with her. Since then I have always wanted to learn ASL but have not been able until the last few years.

Fuzzy you are right. Hubby is very embarassed about being seen wearing a hearing aid. He doesn't want to let anyone know he can't hear them. When he does bring up the subject with me he always says that he doesn't want anything anyone could see.

I do stand back and let him bring the subject up. I just needed to know the best route to take to be supportive. I don't want him feeling embarassed, ashamed, or pushed into anything he's not ready for. I understand it is a big adjustment. It means some things will have to be done differently that's all. It doesn't change who he is. I hope that doesn't come off as sounding harsh. I don't mean it that way. I understand changes are going to have to be made and he has to accept it before anything can be done. I have had to go through something similar myself but physically so I do understand in a way.

When he's ready I will direct him to AD and all of you wonderful people here. Thank you all so very much. Hope you all have a wonderful day.
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The best route to support him is to accept however he chooses to deal with his deafness and respect the fact that it is his to decide how to deal with.
 
Fuzzy you are right. Hubby is very embarassed about being seen wearing a hearing aid. He doesn't want to let anyone know he can't hear them. When he does bring up the subject with me he always says that he doesn't want anything anyone could see.
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takes one to know one :)
I used be very embarrassed about my hearing loss once, too
and I tried very hard
to cover my two hearing aids.
Not anymore :)

I have a hunch introducing your husband to a salesman who would show him
how far the modern hearing aids come today, how "ultra technology"
space almost they look now - it makes you WANT TO wear them!:

phonak-audeo-smart-colours.jpg


phonak-bionic-ear.jpg


or indeed how someone mentioned before of possibility of in the ear canal instead of behind the ear, if his hearing loss allows that
Phonak-Cassia-CIC1.jpeg



and as a last resort,
surgically implanted hearing aid, not the cochlear implant, though
BAHA hearing aids
abutmentinsitu.jpg


even if your husband will have to wear more regular BTE - behind the ear
type of hearing aid, he can let his hair grow longer and cover them.
But I am pretty sure once he see WHO wears them, his anxiety will lessen:

die_Foster_glasses_hearing_aid-vi.jpg


bill-clinton-picture.jpg


Whoppi.jpg


Celebrities | Hearing Aid Prices Miami


Hope that helps.

Fuzzy
 
Hubby is very embarassed about being seen wearing a hearing aid. He doesn't want to let anyone know he can't hear them.
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btw- it's oxymoron.

The hearing loss is never more pronounced but if the person
CAN'T HEAR.

His hearing loss will be actually LESS pronounced once he wears HAs and starts
hearing better and making sense in conversation.
When he responds at all at being called, for starters.

It's time for him to face that.

Fuzzy
 
Audiofuzzy said:
btw- it's oxymoron.

The hearing loss is never more pronounced but if the person
CAN'T HEAR.

His hearing loss will be actually LESS pronounced once he wears HAs and starts
hearing better and making sense in conversation.
When he responds at all at being called, for starters.

It's time for him to face that.

Fuzzy
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It's also going to be noticeable if he's unable to make out words even with HAs.
 
deafskeptic said:
It's also going to be noticeable if he's unable to make out words even with HAs.
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Still puzzles me that anyone's first thought regarding deafness is to make it as hidden as possible. Actually pretty disturbing.
 
jillio said:
Still puzzles me that anyone's first thought regarding deafness is to make it as hidden as possible. Actually pretty disturbing.
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Yeah. When a person notice my hearing aids, they would be more understanding - sometimes not.... like "nevermind".
 
Buffalo said:
Yeah. When a person notice my hearing aids, they would be more understanding - sometimes not.... like "nevermind".
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Oh, yeah...the famous "nevermind". At least that lets you weed the ones that aren't worth your time pretty quickly.:giggle:
 
Still puzzles me that anyone's first thought regarding deafness is to make it as hidden as possible. Actually pretty disturbing.
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Not everyone is ready to accept their hearing loss, particularly if that person
if from hearing environment.

It is natural for such person to feel embarrassed about their hearing loss and want to hide it - at least at first.

The lady said it clearly - her husband IS embarrassed about his hearing loss,
and even more to wear the - gasp! hearing aids.
Because of that, he can not communicate with his family.
There is stress for everyone. Not only the husband loses but his entire family loses if they can not communicate.

That's why for now it would be better to find ways for him to see if hearing aids would help even if it means he would prefer to hide it for now.

He will grow comfortable with the hearing loss - with time.
And then, when ready, he might stop hiding it.

Right now, the priority is to get him comfortable with his hearing loss,
get him to wear hearing aids if these will be of help and hopefully encourage to learn sign language as well.

Fuzzy
 
OK, here is my take on legally deaf, it's not so much a set rule as it is a customary practice. Once you lose so much of your hearing and hearing aid technology is failing, a doctor will refer you for a Cochlear Implant. And, you'll be eligible for disability in all forums from the government. Now, I'm eligible for both, but have not taken either because I don't feel I need it. However, back to the question at hand, I believe that if your doctor has determined you are at that point it is legally binding and, therefor, real.
 
Audiofuzzy said:
Not everyone is ready to accept their hearing loss, particularly if that person
if from hearing environment.

It is natural for such person to feel embarrassed about their hearing loss and want to hide it - at least at first.

The lady said it clearly - her husband IS embarrassed about his hearing loss,
and even more to wear the - gasp! hearing aids.
Because of that, he can not communicate with his family.
There is stress for everyone. Not only the husband loses but his entire family loses if they can not communicate.

That's why for now it would be better to find ways for him to see if hearing aids would help even if it means he would prefer to hide it for now.

He will grow comfortable with the hearing loss - with time.
And then, when ready, he might stop hiding it.

Right now, the priority is to get him comfortable with his hearing loss,
get him to wear hearing aids if these will be of help and hopefully encourage to learn sign language as well.

Fuzzy
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My point completely went over your head. I was commenting in reference to a society that is so audist in nature that it gives the message that hearing loss is something to be ashamed of.:cool2:
 
VacationGuy234 said:
OK, here is my take on legally deaf, it's not so much a set rule as it is a customary practice. Once you lose so much of your hearing and hearing aid technology is failing, a doctor will refer you for a Cochlear Implant. And, you'll be eligible for disability in all forums from the government. Now, I'm eligible for both, but have not taken either because I don't feel I need it. However, back to the question at hand, I believe that if your doctor has determined you are at that point it is legally binding and, therefor, real.
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What are you talking about? A doctor's diagnosis as legally binding for what purpose? It can't be based on function, because there are those with profound losses that exhibit greater function than some of those with a moderate loss.
 
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