Two worlds

I was HoH and sent to a mainstreamed school - overall I hated it and thought quite seriously of dropping out. I didnt have friends, didnt have the grades, no matter how I tried I simply wasnt good enough for anyone.

And just now my heart broke again. My daughter is mimicking the signs I have practiced with my mom, my mom's reply - "I dont do sign language." :(

No wonder I was never really given a chance - too many hearies including my own family are unwilling meet halfway. They want you to meet their needs even though its a struggle and they get upset when you dont do it just their way when you dont understand.

Its true that when a person gets alot of negative responses they eventually start believing it, despite their underlying dreams and abilities.
 
Dixie said:
I was HoH and sent to a mainstreamed school - overall I hated it and thought quite seriously of dropping out. I didnt have friends, didnt have the grades, no matter how I tried I simply wasnt good enough for anyone.

And just now my heart broke again. My daughter is mimicking the signs I have practiced with my mom, my mom's reply - "I dont do sign language." :(

No wonder I was never really given a chance - too many hearies including my own family are unwilling meet halfway. They want you to meet their needs even though its a struggle and they get upset when you dont do it just their way when you dont understand.

Its true that when a person gets alot of negative responses they eventually start believing it, despite their underlying dreams and abilities.
Click to expand...

It is very true, Dixie, and so heartbreaking when intelligent, capable people end up with a failure mentality through no fault of their own.
 
Dixie said:
I was HoH and sent to a mainstreamed school - overall I hated it and thought quite seriously of dropping out. I didnt have friends, didnt have the grades, no matter how I tried I simply wasnt good enough for anyone.

And just now my heart broke again. My daughter is mimicking the signs I have practiced with my mom, my mom's reply - "I dont do sign language." :(

No wonder I was never really given a chance - too many hearies including my own family are unwilling meet halfway. They want you to meet their needs even though its a struggle and they get upset when you dont do it just their way when you dont understand.

Its true that when a person gets alot of negative responses they eventually start believing it, despite their underlying dreams and abilities.
Click to expand...


Before we left for vacation, one of my deaf friends brought her hearing sister here. We were all chatting in ASL and my husband started chatting with the sister and he was still signing. The sister gave my husband an attitude saying that he doesnt need to sign to her cuz she is not deaf. My husband said "In my house, everyone signs no matter what out of respect for all the deaf people in the house. If u dont like it, u can leave." I was like Whoaaaa! My deaf friend said her sister refuses to learn sign and expects my friend to use her oral skills at all times.

next time a hearing person especially a family member says things like that to me, I would tell them that they are no longer considered a family member of mine. Respect is a two way street. It is time for us to stand up for our rights.
 
This is my take:

In high school, I struggled with my hearing peers cuz everyone would always hang out in large groups just chatting away. At first, I would ask some of my friends to fill me in but eventually, they started rolling their eyes at me or saying things like "never mind" or "I will tell u later" only not to tell me later. As time went by, it took a toll on me and my self-esteem so I started withdrawing and just sitting in the crowd smiling and laughing even though I had no idea what was being said most of the time.

During one-on-one situations, I am just fine but large groups, it is another story.

I had issues with my hearing teachers who yelled at me for daydreaming. Well, they walked around the room or turned their backs to me while talking so duh! Of course, I am gonna daydream! How stupid they were! Where was the common sense?

This is how I feel about my upbringing...it was a WASTE to make me like a "hearing" person.

I wish I was like Jolie77 and Deafbajagal and told everyone that this was wrong and I shouldnt be put in such a restrictive environment that restricted my abilities so severely and walked out to protest for my rights to full access to education and social situations.

I applaud them for standing up for what they believed in. My self esteem was so damaged making me terrified of standing up for myself. Pretty sad, huh?

Thanks to ASL and the Deaf community, I got some of it back. If I had never discovered ASL and the Deaf community, my soul would probably be completely writhered away and I would be just be an empty shell of myself.
 
shel90 said:
Before we left for vacation, one of my deaf friends brought her hearing sister here. We were all chatting in ASL and my husband started chatting with the sister and he was still signing. The sister gave my husband an attitude saying that he doesnt need to sign to her cuz she is not deaf. My husband said "In my house, everyone signs no matter what out of respect for all the deaf people in the house. If u dont like it, u can leave." I was like Whoaaaa! My deaf friend said her sister refuses to learn sign and expects my friend to use her oral skills at all times.

next time a hearing person especially a family member says things like that to me, I would tell them that they are no longer considered a family member of mine. Respect is a two way street. It is time for us to stand up for our rights.
Click to expand...

:applause: to hubby!
 
Jillo your story made me cry. what a heartwarming story of you embracing the deaf culture with understanding and still to this day. Your son is so lucky to have you.

As for my story... I should be lucky too as my mom tried her best to put me in deaf school. Originally they (the school district in my hometown wanted to put me in hearing school with no interpreters) my mom said No that wont do anything for me. She wanted to see the best for me. She kept calling ASD every week to see if they could get me in for Kindergarten that fall. ( read the IEP folders with all of the informations that my mom called numerous times)

Ironicially when i was in 6th grade i wanted to quit and go to hearing school.. I was depressed and unhappy.. The only reason i wanted to do this is so i could go home everyday? I was homesick for my dog and my bedroom. I was jealous of my sisters being able to go home when I couldnt and having to stay at the dorms.

so i didnt went for couple of weeks. teachers were concerned and called my mom asking where is Ginger and why isnt she in school? etc. My mom told them she is not sure cuz i refused to talk all i did was ran away to my favorite place and hide for days..

my speech teacher made the trip to my home and visit me.. we had a long and teary talk about why and what I am doing? Finally I realized what I was doing was stupid thing so I went back to school with the speech teacher. To this day I thank my speech teacher. When my dog died.. she got me new puppy but it was not the same..

Eventually I stayed at ASD and graduated with Honors diploma. I was the second one from the family to graduate which is a big deal around here. I have 2 brothers and 3 sisters. all but two graduated... My mom didnt graduated from high school nor get a GED. My dad did graduated from high school.

I got accepted to NTID.. but I got homesick after only staying there for 3 months and came back home to Arkansas. Same old story... I wish i am tuff enough to STAY and finish school? I probably would be in a better place today.. :(

But funny thing there are more to this story. Since my mom put me in therapy and tried to see that i get better treatment for my deafness and learning sign languages etc.

My son was born in 1999. It bite back at me.. being in my mother's footprints.. seeing something is wrong with my son and taking him to doctor and voice my concerns to the doctor due to TJ not meeting any milestones?. The doctor evaluated TJ and found that he was austitic and development delay. within few weeks TJ was put in therapy. With weeks going by TJ improved by and by..

then in 2001 We moved back to my mothers home. within 6 months TJ up and improved and changed sooo Much... he was able to talk and learning to hug.. he was able to eat by himself and doesnt need the bottle any longer. He was finally toilet trained at the age of 3 years old. Why? There are no more lead in his system. Doctor declared he is not austitic anymore but there are still side effect to TJ.. Again TJ was sent for evaluation and found that TJ have SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder). So Tj continue therapy till age 5 and doesnt need speech therapy anymore, too which is a BIG milestone! I was so proud of TJ. Knowing that he had come a long way like me.. shy and unceratain girl scared not knowing what to meet every day..

Now I see what my mother was going thru back then trying her best to get me better education for me. My mother did put me in speech therapy at Deaf school and wanted me to learn to talk. I practiced so hard learning listening and practicing my speech skills. I am not ashamed of it why? My best friend is happy so she depend on me to interpret for her to order foods for her and etc. That is one good thing. Ironically I copied my other friends wanting to quit speech class when i was a sophmores. LOL. My mother was shocked and got upset about it eventually she let it go. Whew.

I always think of myself hearing impaired growing up.. but now i considered myself deaf/ hoh because I do have speech skills which I am not ashamed of. I do understand ASL but sometimes not always as I am not around deaf people much due to friends being out of town and etc.

TJ and I are lot alike. We both have been in same places going to doctor, specialists and therapies, etc. He was in special education class short time but now he doesnt have to as he is in a regular class and is on honor roll. He is a smart boy and I can see him doing better than me which I hope for.

Now? I am trying my best to make sure TJ is not falling behind and always support him and help him with whatever he needs. Teaching him sign languages and make sure he have his own place in this world like my mother tried to for me. :)
 
Freaky Cat said:
Jillo your story made me cry. what a heartwarming story of you embracing the deaf culture with understanding and still to this day. Your son is so lucky to have you.

As for my story... I should be lucky too as my mom tried her best to put me in deaf school. Originally they (the school district in my hometown wanted to put me in hearing school with no interpreters) my mom said No that wont do anything for me. She wanted to see the best for me. She kept calling ASD every week to see if they could get me in for Kindergarten that fall. ( read the IEP folders with all of the informations that my mom called numerous times)

Ironicially when i was in 6th grade i wanted to quit and go to hearing school.. I was depressed and unhappy.. The only reason i wanted to do this is so i could go home everyday? I was homesick for my dog and my bedroom. I was jealous of my sisters being able to go home when I couldnt and having to stay at the dorms.

so i didnt went for couple of weeks. teachers were concerned and called my mom asking where is Ginger and why isnt she in school? etc. My mom told them she is not sure cuz i refused to talk all i did was ran away to my favorite place and hide for days..

my speech teacher made the trip to my home and visit me.. we had a long and teary talk about why and what I am doing? Finally I realized what I was doing was stupid thing so I went back to school with the speech teacher. To this day I thank my speech teacher. When my dog died.. she got me new puppy but it was not the same..

Eventually I stayed at ASD and graduated with Honors diploma. I was the second one from the family to graduate which is a big deal around here. I have 2 brothers and 3 sisters. all but two graduated... My mom didnt graduated from high school nor get a GED. My dad did graduated from high school.

I got accepted to NTID.. but I got homesick after only staying there for 3 months and came back home to Arkansas. Same old story... I wish i am tuff enough to STAY and finish school? I probably would be in a better place today.. :(

But funny thing there are more to this story. Since my mom put me in therapy and tried to see that i get better treatment for my deafness and learning sign languages etc.

My son was born in 1999. It bite back at me.. being in my mother's footprints.. seeing something is wrong with my son and taking him to doctor and voice my concerns to the doctor due to TJ not meeting any milestones?. The doctor evaluated TJ and found that he was austitic and development delay. within few weeks TJ was put in therapy. With weeks going by TJ improved by and by..

then in 2001 We moved back to my mothers home. within 6 months TJ up and improved and changed sooo Much... he was able to talk and learning to hug.. he was able to eat by himself and doesnt need the bottle any longer. He was finally toilet trained at the age of 3 years old. Why? There are no more lead in his system. Doctor declared he is not austitic anymore but there are still side effect to TJ.. Again TJ was sent for evaluation and found that TJ have SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder). So Tj continue therapy till age 5 and doesnt need speech therapy anymore, too which is a BIG milestone! I was so proud of TJ. Knowing that he had come a long way like me.. shy and unceratain girl scared not knowing what to meet every day..

Now I see what my mother was going thru back then trying her best to get me better education for me. My mother did put me in speech therapy at Deaf school and wanted me to learn to talk. I practiced so hard learning listening and practicing my speech skills. I am not ashamed of it why? My best friend is happy so she depend on me to interpret for her to order foods for her and etc. That is one good thing. Ironically I copied my other friends wanting to quit speech class when i was a sophmores. LOL. My mother was shocked and got upset about it eventually she let it go. Whew.

I always think of myself hearing impaired growing up.. but now i considered myself deaf/ hoh because I do have speech skills which I am not ashamed of. I do understand ASL but sometimes not always as I am not around deaf people much due to friends being out of town and etc.

TJ and I are lot alike. We both have been in same places going to doctor, specialists and therapies, etc. He was in special education class short time but now he doesnt have to as he is in a regular class and is on honor roll. He is a smart boy and I can see him doing better than me which I hope for.

Now? I am trying my best to make sure TJ is not falling behind and always support him and help him with whatever he needs. Teaching him sign languages and make sure he have his own place in this world like my mother tried to for me. :)
Click to expand...

Your story touched my heart, too, Freaky Cat. And TJ is so lucky tohave you as a mother. Because of everything you went through, you are able to understand better what he is going through. Also, I'm sure that you and your mother have a closer relationship, because having to go through some of the same things that she went through gives you more respect and understanding.

They say everything happens for a reason. Everything that you have experienced prepared you to be a mother to a child that has some special needs, too.:hug:
 
Everyone has a place in this world - but some of use just take longer to find that place. But we'll know when we've finally made it there. You become content and satisfied, and you no longer think of the what ifs and no longer obsessed with time travel. I know Ive not found my place yet, I just know its not here in D-ville. There's bigger plans and dreams to be conquered.
 
My History...the Two Worlds



I was born Profoundly Deaf and my parents didn't find out until I was 16 months old. The deafness was caused by CMV virus and they were disvasted. They felt like part of their daughter has died. So they have searched schools all over Oregon to see what school would be the best and they have already decided that they don't want me to be signing. So they found this Oral School called Tucker Maxon Oral school and they have enrolled me there at 18 months. I was wearing hearing aids and was learning how to speak but the truth is I haven't spoken my first word until age of 2.

Then My parents started hearing about Cochlear Implant that was planted on adults and they were intruded by the discovering....they wanted to know if it can happen to the young children. They went to the place where they can talk to people who's deaf and parents of the deaf kids. The deaf people were angry at my parents for wanting to plant CI onto me, saying to my parents that they must be ashamed of me so they "must" correct the hearing. My parents were offended and they want to give me all opunities that hearing people can get. So I was one of the youngest children in United States to get Cochlear Implant, I was only age of Four. It was truly a miracle that I can hear through CI and over the years, I spoke better and learn to hear better through CI.

I was one the youngest child in TMS (Tucker Maxon Oral School) to mainstream and I mainstreamed to Holy Family Catholic School. There were few kids from TMS attending Holy Family but all of them were older than me. I was only Deaf in my class and I would have lip reader interrupter. It didn't bother me at all as I had lots of friends and I felt like I fit in. It wasn't until I mainstreamed to different school, Burton in Vancouver, Wa. In 3rd grade, I started to noticed that I was different from other kids, I was only one that has laptop on my desk, due to Closed Captioner and I didn't have a lot of friends. I felt like I didn't really truely fit in, no matter how well I speak and how much I'm like them. I felt like something part of me is truely missing. I kept telling my parents and they told me just to ingnore it, just be happy what I've got as there isn't many kids out there that are lucky.

Then when I entered Cascade Middle School for 6th grade, I met first deaf girl that does not have cochlear implant, but wears hearing aid. She was in same class as I am, but while I have Closed Captioner, she had ASL interrupter. I was attracted to the movement of hands. I asked her what is that and she told me that it's her language, Deaf language. I was confused, I told her that I'm deaf and yet I speak oral, not through movement of hands. She told me that not all deaf people are like me who can hear and speak. Of course she can speak but she prefers ASL. Then I met group of deaf people at Cascade that happens to be her friends: Zack, Rachel, Amanda, Jon, and Ricky. I was truly amazed at their commutation while Christina talks to them through movement of her hands. They all but one (Rachel) likes me and they were happy when I told them that I wanted to learn their language. Rachel resents me, and I think the reason is because I have CI and is speaking Oral. Jon told me that their language is my language because I'm also deaf.

So the course of three years at Cascade, I learned ASL and I felt like part of me has complete. I found out that this is what I was missing, my culture which is deaf culture. I felt like I fit better with them than Hearing people. When I told my parents that I was learning ASL, they were out raged, they forbid me to speak through my hands as it was "unacceptable". I of course was mad at them but I haven't spoken to them about ASL for a bit while. Mom passed away from cancer when I was in 7th grade and I became closer to my deaf friends then ever. Then my Dad got remarried when I was in 8th grade and I totally resent my step mom...hating her with all my might because she was treating me differently than her daughters. Even my dad was treating me differently than his stepdaughters whom are only a year younger than I am.

Then in Evergreen High School, I met more deaf people and I signed more than ever. I even took ASL class and my dad wasn't happy at all. One day, I told my dad and step mom in the kitchen that ASL is MY language and I will USE it whenever I feel like it. Heck, even my speech teacher didn't understand what's up with her students that came from Tucker wanting to use ASL, that we should feel proud to speak Oral. Yes I am proud to speak Oral but I'm also proud to speak in ASL, because it's my culture. It was even more hard to fit in High school with hearing students because they know that I'm deaf and that I hang out with deaf group most of the time. But I did have couple of hearing friends and hearing boyfriend. My boyfriend (Now ex) wanted to learn ASL and I taught him some. My deaf friends liked him and respected him because he wanted to learn Deaf culture and our language.

Every time I bring my deaf friends over, my parents didn't like how I'm always signing with them and how they can't over hear the conversation. Heck, they didn't even like how my friends from Tucker would sign with me in my own home. They tried to get my deaf friends to get CI...pressured them and everything. I told them NO, and to leave my friends alone!!! It was in High school that I found out who I'm truly am...and the person that I am is I belong in deaf world and hearing world, and I'm proud to be who I am.

Yes, I prefer to be with deaf people because they understand me better and I feel like I fit better, and I'm more comfortable. But I do not have a problem with hearing world nor hearing people. My husband is hearing and we communicate just fine. I don't regret that I have CI...I just wish my parents would understand my culture or even accept it. My speech teacher has finally understand when I was in senior, from the convince of Heather, Jenny, Cheekie, and myself. We're all from Tucker and we all like to talk in ASL...and she finally understands why we want to speak that way...it's because its our culture, our nature.


Sorry if it's long...I just wanted to share my experience.


 
Kaelei -

Is it called "Tucker Maxon Oral School for the Deaf?" I attended Clarke School for the Deaf in Northampton, Massachusetts. I am being to wonder of how many oral schools for the deaf in the United States.

It is always nice to have a deaf company at my house or theirs. It's wonderful for you being oral and ASL. It's better for us to be in both worlds and cultures.

One problem is that some deaf people don't introduce their name and their general background school. They really do not have to introduce themselves yet, but after a few talks, they should talk who they are. A few deaf men introduced their name to my female friend right away which was very rude because I was right there with her in the front of them. (They didn't ask my name. Roll my eyes! She has blonde hair and blue eyes. She didn't like that, too.) These men are absolutely jerks, and they have poor manner. (I wish that their grandma slam their face real hard that they should be shamed in the public.)
 
~*Kaelei*~ said:


I was born Profoundly Deaf and my parents didn't find out until I was 16 months old. The deafness was caused by CMV virus and they were disvasted. They felt like part of their daughter has died. So they have searched schools all over Oregon to see what school would be the best and they have already decided that they don't want me to be signing. So they found this Oral School called Tucker Maxon Oral school and they have enrolled me there at 18 months. I was wearing hearing aids and was learning how to speak but the truth is I haven't spoken my first word until age of 2.

Then My parents started hearing about Cochlear Implant that was planted on adults and they were intruded by the discovering....they wanted to know if it can happen to the young children. They went to the place where they can talk to people who's deaf and parents of the deaf kids. The deaf people were angry at my parents for wanting to plant CI onto me, saying to my parents that they must be ashamed of me so they "must" correct the hearing. My parents were offended and they want to give me all opunities that hearing people can get. So I was one of the youngest children in United States to get Cochlear Implant, I was only age of Four. It was truly a miracle that I can hear through CI and over the years, I spoke better and learn to hear better through CI.

I was one the youngest child in TMS (Tucker Maxon Oral School) to mainstream and I mainstreamed to Holy Family Catholic School. There were few kids from TMS attending Holy Family but all of them were older than me. I was only Deaf in my class and I would have lip reader interrupter. It didn't bother me at all as I had lots of friends and I felt like I fit in. It wasn't until I mainstreamed to different school, Burton in Vancouver, Wa. In 3rd grade, I started to noticed that I was different from other kids, I was only one that has laptop on my desk, due to Closed Captioner and I didn't have a lot of friends. I felt like I didn't really truely fit in, no matter how well I speak and how much I'm like them. I felt like something part of me is truely missing. I kept telling my parents and they told me just to ingnore it, just be happy what I've got as there isn't many kids out there that are lucky.

Then when I entered Cascade Middle School for 6th grade, I met first deaf girl that does not have cochlear implant, but wears hearing aid. She was in same class as I am, but while I have Closed Captioner, she had ASL interrupter. I was attracted to the movement of hands. I asked her what is that and she told me that it's her language, Deaf language. I was confused, I told her that I'm deaf and yet I speak oral, not through movement of hands. She told me that not all deaf people are like me who can hear and speak. Of course she can speak but she prefers ASL. Then I met group of deaf people at Cascade that happens to be her friends: Zack, Rachel, Amanda, Jon, and Ricky. I was truly amazed at their commutation while Christina talks to them through movement of her hands. They all but one (Rachel) likes me and they were happy when I told them that I wanted to learn their language. Rachel resents me, and I think the reason is because I have CI and is speaking Oral. Jon told me that their language is my language because I'm also deaf.

So the course of three years at Cascade, I learned ASL and I felt like part of me has complete. I found out that this is what I was missing, my culture which is deaf culture. I felt like I fit better with them than Hearing people. When I told my parents that I was learning ASL, they were out raged, they forbid me to speak through my hands as it was "unacceptable". I of course was mad at them but I haven't spoken to them about ASL for a bit while. Mom passed away from cancer when I was in 7th grade and I became closer to my deaf friends then ever. Then my Dad got remarried when I was in 8th grade and I totally resent my step mom...hating her with all my might because she was treating me differently than her daughters. Even my dad was treating me differently than his stepdaughters whom are only a year younger than I am.

Then in Evergreen High School, I met more deaf people and I signed more than ever. I even took ASL class and my dad wasn't happy at all. One day, I told my dad and step mom in the kitchen that ASL is MY language and I will USE it whenever I feel like it. Heck, even my speech teacher didn't understand what's up with her students that came from Tucker wanting to use ASL, that we should feel proud to speak Oral. Yes I am proud to speak Oral but I'm also proud to speak in ASL, because it's my culture. It was even more hard to fit in High school with hearing students because they know that I'm deaf and that I hang out with deaf group most of the time. But I did have couple of hearing friends and hearing boyfriend. My boyfriend (Now ex) wanted to learn ASL and I taught him some. My deaf friends liked him and respected him because he wanted to learn Deaf culture and our language.

Every time I bring my deaf friends over, my parents didn't like how I'm always signing with them and how they can't over hear the conversation. Heck, they didn't even like how my friends from Tucker would sign with me in my own home. They tried to get my deaf friends to get CI...pressured them and everything. I told them NO, and to leave my friends alone!!! It was in High school that I found out who I'm truly am...and the person that I am is I belong in deaf world and hearing world, and I'm proud to be who I am.

Yes, I prefer to be with deaf people because they understand me better and I feel like I fit better, and I'm more comfortable. But I do not have a problem with hearing world nor hearing people. My husband is hearing and we communicate just fine. I don't regret that I have CI...I just wish my parents would understand my culture or even accept it. My speech teacher has finally understand when I was in senior, from the convince of Heather, Jenny, Cheekie, and myself. We're all from Tucker and we all like to talk in ASL...and she finally understands why we want to speak that way...it's because its our culture, our nature.


Sorry if it's long...I just wanted to share my experience.


Click to expand...

Wow!! I was told by the oralists that the students from Tucker-Maxon are the best and dont need ASL. You story just proved them wrong!

Thanks for sharing it.
 
Shel,
I bet more than half of those former oral students are currently communicating in ASL nowadays!


Webexplorer,
I'm guessing there's maybe 20 schools for the deaf or so that specialized in Oral philosophy in the United States.
 
shel90 said:
This is my take:

In high school, I struggled with my hearing peers cuz everyone would always hang out in large groups just chatting away. At first, I would ask some of my friends to fill me in but eventually, they started rolling their eyes at me or saying things like "never mind" or "I will tell u later" only not to tell me later. As time went by, it took a toll on me and my self-esteem so I started withdrawing and just sitting in the crowd smiling and laughing even though I had no idea what was being said most of the time.

During one-on-one situations, I am just fine but large groups, it is another story.

I had issues with my hearing teachers who yelled at me for daydreaming. Well, they walked around the room or turned their backs to me while talking so duh! Of course, I am gonna daydream! How stupid they were! Where was the common sense?

This is how I feel about my upbringing...it was a WASTE to make me like a "hearing" person.

I wish I was like Jolie77 and Deafbajagal and told everyone that this was wrong and I shouldnt be put in such a restrictive environment that restricted my abilities so severely and walked out to protest for my rights to full access to education and social situations.

I applaud them for standing up for what they believed in. My self esteem was so damaged making me terrified of standing up for myself. Pretty sad, huh?

Thanks to ASL and the Deaf community, I got some of it back. If I had never discovered ASL and the Deaf community, my soul would probably be completely writhered away and I would be just be an empty shell of myself.
Click to expand...

The important thing is NOW you've found your place. Hugs, my friend. ;)
 
~*Kaelei*~ said:


I was born Profoundly Deaf and my parents didn't find out until I was 16 months old. The deafness was caused by CMV virus and they were disvasted. They felt like part of their daughter has died. So they have searched schools all over Oregon to see what school would be the best and they have already decided that they don't want me to be signing. So they found this Oral School called Tucker Maxon Oral school and they have enrolled me there at 18 months. I was wearing hearing aids and was learning how to speak but the truth is I haven't spoken my first word until age of 2.

Then My parents started hearing about Cochlear Implant that was planted on adults and they were intruded by the discovering....they wanted to know if it can happen to the young children. They went to the place where they can talk to people who's deaf and parents of the deaf kids. The deaf people were angry at my parents for wanting to plant CI onto me, saying to my parents that they must be ashamed of me so they "must" correct the hearing. My parents were offended and they want to give me all opunities that hearing people can get. So I was one of the youngest children in United States to get Cochlear Implant, I was only age of Four. It was truly a miracle that I can hear through CI and over the years, I spoke better and learn to hear better through CI.

I was one the youngest child in TMS (Tucker Maxon Oral School) to mainstream and I mainstreamed to Holy Family Catholic School. There were few kids from TMS attending Holy Family but all of them were older than me. I was only Deaf in my class and I would have lip reader interrupter. It didn't bother me at all as I had lots of friends and I felt like I fit in. It wasn't until I mainstreamed to different school, Burton in Vancouver, Wa. In 3rd grade, I started to noticed that I was different from other kids, I was only one that has laptop on my desk, due to Closed Captioner and I didn't have a lot of friends. I felt like I didn't really truely fit in, no matter how well I speak and how much I'm like them. I felt like something part of me is truely missing. I kept telling my parents and they told me just to ingnore it, just be happy what I've got as there isn't many kids out there that are lucky.

Then when I entered Cascade Middle School for 6th grade, I met first deaf girl that does not have cochlear implant, but wears hearing aid. She was in same class as I am, but while I have Closed Captioner, she had ASL interrupter. I was attracted to the movement of hands. I asked her what is that and she told me that it's her language, Deaf language. I was confused, I told her that I'm deaf and yet I speak oral, not through movement of hands. She told me that not all deaf people are like me who can hear and speak. Of course she can speak but she prefers ASL. Then I met group of deaf people at Cascade that happens to be her friends: Zack, Rachel, Amanda, Jon, and Ricky. I was truly amazed at their commutation while Christina talks to them through movement of her hands. They all but one (Rachel) likes me and they were happy when I told them that I wanted to learn their language. Rachel resents me, and I think the reason is because I have CI and is speaking Oral. Jon told me that their language is my language because I'm also deaf.

So the course of three years at Cascade, I learned ASL and I felt like part of me has complete. I found out that this is what I was missing, my culture which is deaf culture. I felt like I fit better with them than Hearing people. When I told my parents that I was learning ASL, they were out raged, they forbid me to speak through my hands as it was "unacceptable". I of course was mad at them but I haven't spoken to them about ASL for a bit while. Mom passed away from cancer when I was in 7th grade and I became closer to my deaf friends then ever. Then my Dad got remarried when I was in 8th grade and I totally resent my step mom...hating her with all my might because she was treating me differently than her daughters. Even my dad was treating me differently than his stepdaughters whom are only a year younger than I am.

Then in Evergreen High School, I met more deaf people and I signed more than ever. I even took ASL class and my dad wasn't happy at all. One day, I told my dad and step mom in the kitchen that ASL is MY language and I will USE it whenever I feel like it. Heck, even my speech teacher didn't understand what's up with her students that came from Tucker wanting to use ASL, that we should feel proud to speak Oral. Yes I am proud to speak Oral but I'm also proud to speak in ASL, because it's my culture. It was even more hard to fit in High school with hearing students because they know that I'm deaf and that I hang out with deaf group most of the time. But I did have couple of hearing friends and hearing boyfriend. My boyfriend (Now ex) wanted to learn ASL and I taught him some. My deaf friends liked him and respected him because he wanted to learn Deaf culture and our language.

Every time I bring my deaf friends over, my parents didn't like how I'm always signing with them and how they can't over hear the conversation. Heck, they didn't even like how my friends from Tucker would sign with me in my own home. They tried to get my deaf friends to get CI...pressured them and everything. I told them NO, and to leave my friends alone!!! It was in High school that I found out who I'm truly am...and the person that I am is I belong in deaf world and hearing world, and I'm proud to be who I am.

Yes, I prefer to be with deaf people because they understand me better and I feel like I fit better, and I'm more comfortable. But I do not have a problem with hearing world nor hearing people. My husband is hearing and we communicate just fine. I don't regret that I have CI...I just wish my parents would understand my culture or even accept it. My speech teacher has finally understand when I was in senior, from the convince of Heather, Jenny, Cheekie, and myself. We're all from Tucker and we all like to talk in ASL...and she finally understands why we want to speak that way...it's because its our culture, our nature.


Sorry if it's long...I just wanted to share my experience.


Click to expand...

Wow! I'm so glad you shared with us. I didn't know you had learned ASL.
 
Freaky Cat said:
Jillo your story made me cry. what a heartwarming story of you embracing the deaf culture with understanding and still to this day. Your son is so lucky to have you.

As for my story... I should be lucky too as my mom tried her best to put me in deaf school. Originally they (the school district in my hometown wanted to put me in hearing school with no interpreters) my mom said No that wont do anything for me. She wanted to see the best for me. She kept calling ASD every week to see if they could get me in for Kindergarten that fall. ( read the IEP folders with all of the informations that my mom called numerous times)

Ironicially when i was in 6th grade i wanted to quit and go to hearing school.. I was depressed and unhappy.. The only reason i wanted to do this is so i could go home everyday? I was homesick for my dog and my bedroom. I was jealous of my sisters being able to go home when I couldnt and having to stay at the dorms.

so i didnt went for couple of weeks. teachers were concerned and called my mom asking where is Ginger and why isnt she in school? etc. My mom told them she is not sure cuz i refused to talk all i did was ran away to my favorite place and hide for days..

my speech teacher made the trip to my home and visit me.. we had a long and teary talk about why and what I am doing? Finally I realized what I was doing was stupid thing so I went back to school with the speech teacher. To this day I thank my speech teacher. When my dog died.. she got me new puppy but it was not the same..

Eventually I stayed at ASD and graduated with Honors diploma. I was the second one from the family to graduate which is a big deal around here. I have 2 brothers and 3 sisters. all but two graduated... My mom didnt graduated from high school nor get a GED. My dad did graduated from high school.

I got accepted to NTID.. but I got homesick after only staying there for 3 months and came back home to Arkansas. Same old story... I wish i am tuff enough to STAY and finish school? I probably would be in a better place today.. :(

But funny thing there are more to this story. Since my mom put me in therapy and tried to see that i get better treatment for my deafness and learning sign languages etc.

My son was born in 1999. It bite back at me.. being in my mother's footprints.. seeing something is wrong with my son and taking him to doctor and voice my concerns to the doctor due to TJ not meeting any milestones?. The doctor evaluated TJ and found that he was austitic and development delay. within few weeks TJ was put in therapy. With weeks going by TJ improved by and by..

then in 2001 We moved back to my mothers home. within 6 months TJ up and improved and changed sooo Much... he was able to talk and learning to hug.. he was able to eat by himself and doesnt need the bottle any longer. He was finally toilet trained at the age of 3 years old. Why? There are no more lead in his system. Doctor declared he is not austitic anymore but there are still side effect to TJ.. Again TJ was sent for evaluation and found that TJ have SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder). So Tj continue therapy till age 5 and doesnt need speech therapy anymore, too which is a BIG milestone! I was so proud of TJ. Knowing that he had come a long way like me.. shy and unceratain girl scared not knowing what to meet every day..

Now I see what my mother was going thru back then trying her best to get me better education for me. My mother did put me in speech therapy at Deaf school and wanted me to learn to talk. I practiced so hard learning listening and practicing my speech skills. I am not ashamed of it why? My best friend is happy so she depend on me to interpret for her to order foods for her and etc. That is one good thing. Ironically I copied my other friends wanting to quit speech class when i was a sophmores. LOL. My mother was shocked and got upset about it eventually she let it go. Whew.

I always think of myself hearing impaired growing up.. but now i considered myself deaf/ hoh because I do have speech skills which I am not ashamed of. I do understand ASL but sometimes not always as I am not around deaf people much due to friends being out of town and etc.

TJ and I are lot alike. We both have been in same places going to doctor, specialists and therapies, etc. He was in special education class short time but now he doesnt have to as he is in a regular class and is on honor roll. He is a smart boy and I can see him doing better than me which I hope for.

Now? I am trying my best to make sure TJ is not falling behind and always support him and help him with whatever he needs. Teaching him sign languages and make sure he have his own place in this world like my mother tried to for me. :)
Click to expand...

I agree with Jillo - TJ is indeed very lucky to have you as his mother. Full circle of life, huh?
 
Dixie said:
I was HoH and sent to a mainstreamed school - overall I hated it and thought quite seriously of dropping out. I didnt have friends, didnt have the grades, no matter how I tried I simply wasnt good enough for anyone.

And just now my heart broke again. My daughter is mimicking the signs I have practiced with my mom, my mom's reply - "I dont do sign language." :(

No wonder I was never really given a chance - too many hearies including my own family are unwilling meet halfway. They want you to meet their needs even though its a struggle and they get upset when you dont do it just their way when you dont understand.

Its true that when a person gets alot of negative responses they eventually start believing it, despite their underlying dreams and abilities.
Click to expand...

My parents and family are the same way, so I know how you feel. I like how you take it all in stride and just go on with life instead of letting it bring you down.
 
webexplorer said:
Kaelei -

Is it called "Tucker Maxon Oral School for the Deaf?" I attended Clarke School for the Deaf in Northampton, Massachusetts. I am being to wonder of how many oral schools for the deaf in the United States.

It is always nice to have a deaf company at my house or theirs. It's wonderful for you being oral and ASL. It's better for us to be in both worlds and cultures.

One problem is that some deaf people don't introduce their name and their general background school. They really do not have to introduce themselves yet, but after a few talks, they should talk who they are. A few deaf men introduced their name to my female friend right away which was very rude because I was right there with her in the front of them. (They didn't ask my name. Roll my eyes! She has blonde hair and blue eyes. She didn't like that, too.) These men are absolutely jerks, and they have poor manner. (I wish that their grandma slam their face real hard that they should be shamed in the public.)
Click to expand...

Yes, it's called Tucker Maxon Oral school for the Deaf....but it's not called that anymore. They now have been letting Hearing kids attend the school, so it's not for the deaf anymore. It's for Hearing and the Deaf...and that makes me so upset. This school is supposed to be for the deaf but really, they want to make more money so they let the hearing kids in.

UGH....They should really focus on the deaf kids....but no....they're greedy!

And, are you saying that I'm being rude because I introduce myself and let them know my background? I've been taught to always introduce myself to the person before we actually have a conversation. But once I get to know the person better after talking for a while, I would let the person know my background. I don't have a problem sharing my background or my name. :)
 
shel90 said:
Wow!! I was told by the oralists that the students from Tucker-Maxon are the best and dont need ASL. You story just proved them wrong!

Thanks for sharing it.
Click to expand...

Shel -

I bet you that now most of those Oralists are using ASL also. Who oralists do you know from Tucker....as I may know some of them. Most of the oralists that I know from Tucker are now using ASL....
 
Last edited:
Kal, thanks for sharing your experience, that's another different story and glad that you learned ASL, some people need to accept who they are. Oh well.
 
Back
Top