Two worlds

Excellent project, Jake.
 
Jillio, your journey touched me in several ways. It’s beautiful and poetic, and if you don’t turn it into a book like Jake is undertaking, it’s a lamentable loss for both worlds.

I have often wished I were elder and been better able to help my big sister born deaf. Unfortunately, by the time I had part of the wisdom you possessed as a young mother, she was an adult and gone.

Even then, even now, I’m always the little brat brother. When my hearing dwindled to nothing, sis was there being the bossy leader.

“ASL you know, lucky you I tell you so, now go better learn.”

“Talk you know, so talk. Silent me good. Silent Chase bad.”

“Quit always big baby, and learn read of lip . . . now.”

Although some will not think so, your son is as fortunate as I am.
 
Chase said:
Jillio, your journey touched me in several ways. It’s beautiful and poetic, and if you don’t turn it into a book like Jake is undertaking, it’s a lamentable loss for both worlds.

I have often wished I were elder and been better able to help my big sister born deaf. Unfortunately, by the time I had part of the wisdom you possessed as a young mother, she was an adult and gone.

Even then, even now, I’m always the little brat brother. When my hearing dwindled to nothing, sis was there being the bossy leader.

“ASL you know, lucky you I tell you so, now go better learn.”

“Talk you know, so talk. Silent me good. Silent Chase bad.”

“Quit always big baby, and learn read of lip . . . now.”

Although some will not think so, your son is as fortunate as I am.
Click to expand...

Thank you, Chase. I have often considered compiling a book of my experiences....just never had the confidence to sit down and get started, I suppose.
 
Silentwolfdog said:
Deaf - did you have problems with hearing people during your high school years?

Nah, I think I was treated better by hearing people than with deaf people during high school years. I think it depends on situation and people you are meeting so.
Click to expand...

I second that,, I have no probelm with hearing schools through the years then deaf school. I was treated lot better in hearing school then a deaf school. I don't have much of a problem with hearing friends in school. But I have to agree with you that each situations is different for each deaf person experiences. :cool2:
 
Jillio -

Chase beat me to it when I read your touchy story that it made me cry .... beautifully written. You & Chase have a way with words which I love to read what you have to say in whatever topics you are in. I agree that you should write a book of your experiences .... I'm sure it will be well received. :)
 
Wow! deafbajagal, you were definitely a poster child for associations such as AGBAD!

But good on you for standing up and having the courage to pursue your destiny. And you came a long way, which is great. :)
 
Well, JClarke, I can't really answer your questions but this is what I want to say.

I know, for definitely, I wouldn't have fare well in mainstream setting with little or no accommodations. I went to deaf schools all my life, save for a couple of years attending hearing school next door with terps from my school. But I never felt I fitted in either schools, eh.

I wasn't a follower and I chose to do what I felt was right for myself, not just because it's a cool thing to do. Deaf students, particularly the older kids didn't treat me well. I can only guess they were intimidated by my sterling intelligence, lol.

However, when I became school captain and no one dared teased me. ;)

I find treatment, from my experience, from both hearing and deaf pretty much the same.

Like many, I gravitate toward the deaf world than the hearing.....
 
These stories in this thread has been really amazing in overall and it has made me think of my own experience to a degree.

I, too, like some of you have encountered the lonesomeness of mongering with hearing people in high school. You see, I went to a deaf school all through the elementary, middle and high school years except for those 2 months.

I was so accustomed to be around deaf people because that's the only thing I ever knew. I was able to communicate, laugh, cry or be part of the group. I was part of something. During my junior year of high school, my mother thought it'd be in the best of my interest to stay at home and enroll in a hearing school.

I remember arriving at the hearing school on the first day and met up with my interpreter. I was not sure what to do. I was in for an unknown journey. I made some few friends, I was invited to participate in the cheerleading squad. I also was invited to join in the FBLA (Future Business Leaders of America) organization. It was going good in the beginning. It was not until I realized about a week later that I was becoming miserable. I was not even laughing when other people were laughing. I started to miss being part of the group conversation. I missed my friends at the deaf school. I started to feel so out of the place not knowing what's going on around me. I was feeling frustrated. My grades were failing. I became distant from others and started to participate less and less in the group discussions and other organizations, so and on. It went on and on for the next 2 months and finally, one day I decided to confront my mom.

We had a BIG argument about it. I wanted to go back to the deaf school and stay there until I graduate. She wanted me to stay at the hearing school. I explained to her how it was like at the hearing school. She at first didn't really understand what I was trying to tell her. I said "Mom, do you ever see me having any friends coming over here to visit me or stay over night? Do you ever see me going out of the house to visit my hearing friends? Have you noticed that it's all my deaf friends coming here to visit?" so and on, that kind of talk. She realized that I was miserable and let me re-enroll at the deaf school.

When I returned to the deaf school, I felt much relieved and knew it was a place where I belonged to. It was like a home away from home. In a sense you could say that it was an experience for me to have. I felt like having an "awful" feeling being in that place facing the unknown and not being aware of what's going on around me, feeling out of place and all that. So, It has taught me not to take the deaf community for granted. From that day forward, I have found where I really belong to. I found my voice and identity. I guess you could say that I already had my deaf identity all along but it was not until after I went to the hearing school in order to open my eyes to see what it is really like out there to realize it.

Sorry for the long post. I just wanted to share this with you guys. :)
 
Ozzie said:
Jillio -

Chase beat me to it when I read your touchy story that it made me cry .... beautifully written. You & Chase have a way with words which I love to read what you have to say in whatever topics you are in. I agree that you should write a book of your experiences .... I'm sure it will be well received. :)
Click to expand...

:ty: Thank you, Ozzie. I consider my experiences with my son and the deaf community to be very special blessings in my life. It makes me feel good that I am able to communicate to others how special I feel it is.
 
Jolie_77 said:
These stories in this thread has been really amazing in overall and it has made me think of my own experience to a degree.

I, too, like some of you have encountered the lonesomeness of mongering with hearing people in high school. You see, I went to a deaf school all through the elementary, middle and high school years except for those 2 months.

I was so accustomed to be around deaf people because that's the only thing I ever knew. I was able to communicate, laugh, cry or be part of the group. I was part of something. During my junior year of high school, my mother thought it'd be in the best of my interest to stay at home and enroll in a hearing school.

I remember arriving at the hearing school on the first day and met up with my interpreter. I was not sure what to do. I was in for an unknown journey. I made some few friends, I was invited to participate in the cheerleading squad. I also was invited to join in the FBLA (Future Business Leaders of America) organization. It was going good in the beginning. It was not until I realized about a week later that I was becoming miserable. I was not even laughing when other people were laughing. I started to miss being part of the group conversation. I missed my friends at the deaf school. I started to feel so out of the place not knowing what's going on around me. I was feeling frustrated. My grades were failing. I became distant from others and started to participate less and less in the group discussions and other organizations, so and on. It went on and on for the next 2 months and finally, one day I decided to confront my mom.

We had a BIG argument about it. I wanted to go back to the deaf school and stay there until I graduate. She wanted me to stay at the hearing school. I explained to her how it was like at the hearing school. She at first didn't really understand what I was trying to tell her. I said "Mom, do you ever see me having any friends coming over here to visit me or stay over night? Do you ever see me going out of the house to visit my hearing friends? Have you noticed that it's all my deaf friends coming here to visit?" so and on, that kind of talk. She realized that I was miserable and let me re-enroll at the deaf school.

When I returned to the deaf school, I felt much relieved and knew it was a place where I belonged to. It was like a home away from home. In a sense you could say that it was an experience for me to have. I felt like having an "awful" feeling being in that place facing the unknown and not being aware of what's going on around me, feeling out of place and all that. So, It has taught me not to take the deaf community for granted. From that day forward, I have found where I really belong to. I found my voice and identity. I guess you could say that I already had my deaf identity all along but it was not until after I went to the hearing school in order to open my eyes to see what it is really like out there to realize it.

Sorry for the long post. I just wanted to share this with you guys. :)
Click to expand...


No, You don't need to feel sorry for the long post. :gpost: I am glad that you have faced your mother to make a stand on how you feel about being in the hearing mainstream school. I wish I have your stamina and the gut to let my parents especially my mother to go into a Deaf school so that I could be better at what is going on in school and to approve my grades, even if the courses are easy. Yes, we should have a right to feel belong to the Deaf school or Deaf community so that we don't feel lonely and not be left out where the hearing people have no ideas what we have been struggling for their needs. Being in the mainstream school is noooo picnic. I really like what you are saying. :cool:
 
Guys, there's a lot of pretty good posts and unfortunately, I am on my SK3, it is giving me hard time to read it all, but I will post again when I am at my parents place tonight for dinner, I will stop by and post in relation of this thread. Sorry about that. Expect my post in a bit :)

Also, thank you for your time to contribute this thread. Look forward to read all of the thread tonight.
 
Bebonang said:
No, You don't need to feel sorry for the long post. :gpost: I am glad that you have faced your mother to make a stand on how you feel about being in the hearing mainstream school. I wish I have your stamina and the gut to let my parents especially my mother to go into a Deaf school so that I could be better at what is going on in school and to approve my grades, even if the courses are easy. Yes, we should have a right to feel belong to the Deaf school or Deaf community so that we don't feel lonely and not be left out where the hearing people have no ideas what we have been struggling for their needs. Being in the mainstream school is noooo picnic. I really like what you are saying. :cool:
Click to expand...

Thanks.

Precisely. It is no picnic at all. What I am saying is, It really did open my eyes. So in a way, I'm thankful for that experience because when I was growing up in the deaf school, I was already around that kind of environment to be able to access to many different aspects. It was like everything was thrown out in a reverse. Even though it was only for 2 months but that was just more than enough for me to get plenty of exposure to be able to have a challenge with alot of barriers, so and on.

Sure, some of the courses at the deaf school were easy but I think in overall, You learn more OUT of the classroom instead of inside the classroom. After returning to the deaf school, they were able to meet my needs because I took some courses at the hearing school (ie; English, literature; college prep writing) and was able to take science and mathematics at the deaf school. So, after that happened, it became much better since I was living in the dorm and I was able to develop a better social life by having that experience. Everything improved for the better afterwards.
 
Jolie77,
You're right about learning more out of classroom at times.

Here's my example: SEE was used in classrooms, but we learned Auslan on the playground due to several kids from culturally deaf families.

I can remember us signing in Auslan during class times and leaving the teacher like this: :confused: *grin*
 
jillio said:
Okay, here goes. Reflections on a hearing person's journey into Deaf Culture.

I began my journey nearly 22 years ago. Intially, it could be compared to Alice Through the Looking Glass. One day, I walked into The League for the Deaf and HOH, where there was a large gathering of deaf people hanging out, and my whole world was reversed.

My entry into this community was not eased by having a deaf friend to guide me or introduce me to others. I did not have benefit of having a few ASL classes under my belt. I knew absolutely nothing of the language or the people. All I knew was, I had a deaf son, and these people were the only ones that could explain to me what that meant. I walked in, completely exposed and vunerable, unsure of how I would make myself understood, walked up to a couple of deaf chatting on the other side of the room, and said, "Excuse me. I need help." Luckily, both had some oral skills, and they asked me what they could do for me. I explained that I had a young son that, at that moment, was at the preschool behind the league. I explained that I had no experience with deafness, and what I was being told by the professionals regarding his needs simply did not make sense to me. I told them that I wanted to know what it was to be a deaf child, and that they were the only people who could tell me about that, and that I was asking them to help me understand my child and what his world was like.

I remember being anxious and somewhat frightened because I had no idea what to expect, or how my request would be received. I only knew in my heart that this was someting I had to do for my child. It was what I had to do so that I would be able to be the mother my child needed me to be.

My fear did not last long. I was greeted with wide smiles, and a hug from one of the women I had approached. They took me to a table and we sat down to talk. Two hours later, I retrieved my son from preschool, and we returned. They invited me to come back as often as I wanted, and began, that very day, teaching myself and my son the language. I still remember the look on my son's face when he walked into the room, and everyone was signing. His exposure to sign prior to that had been the few signs I had taught myself from a dictionary, and then in turn, taught him. To see the amazement on his face when he realized that there was a place where everyone talked about all kinds of things in a language that was natural for him told me that I had made the right decision.

For a long time afterward, I felt like a child when I went to the league, and the deaf community there were my very patient teachers. I was full of questions. They taught me not just a new language, but about the hearts and the minds of the deaf, and explained to me the experiences that had shaped those hearts and minds. They taught me to see things from a new persepctive.

I have never experienced the rejection from the deaf community that so many hearing parents say they have experienced. I was welcomed with open arms, and was shown patience and understanding for my own lack of understanding. I was the one in the minority in their world. Perhaps it is because I sought to enter their world that I was received so well. I was not asking them to come into my world, but asking that I be allowed into their world. I didn't arrive with answers, I arrived with questions. I didn't seek to justify my own perspective, but to understand from their persepctive. Rather than telling them that they needed my help to get by in this world, as a hearing person, I admitted that I needed their help to get by in a world that I was just discovering through my child.

I have made mistakes on my journey. I have not always been able to place my hearing status aside and not allow it to bias me. But I have been blessed with some patient and understanding deaf friends who have corrected me when I was wrong. In the end, we have ended up meeting each other half way.

After 22 years, I no longer feel like Alice walking through the looking glass. I am quite comfortable within the deaf community. I am still, by all rights, a visitor there, as I am still hearing. I am not deaf, and I will not pretend to know what it is to be deaf. I have only learned to let go of what I know to be true in order to better understand the truth of another. That has been a valuable lesson that carries over into all aspects of my life, and it is a lesson taught me by the deaf community. While I am not deaf, deafness is, in a very real way, a part of my daily existence through my contact with, and friendships with others. And it is a part of my life that I treasure, because it enriches my life in a way that is difficult to describe. I have been blessed with the opportunity to widen my world, to experience things from a perspective that allows me to see more than just what is on the surface. And the deaf community is responsible for helping me to learn that.
Click to expand...

Jillio, that's an amazing story! I am lost for words, when I read your story. It made me think few things, but I will mention in my experience, which is currently being written in mircosoft word... but it will be pretty long but will post up bits and bits as we go.

I have few questions, but I need to think it over what to make it clear for you but expect my questions real soon :)

Chase said:
Excellent project, Jake.
Click to expand...

Thank you Chase, the real reason is that I had a thought few days ago, that I should write my experience in the past, you all might have noticed my other thread all about the court case which occured in australia, I would be mentioning that in the story also.

But as we go in this thread, I thought I'd like to see everyone's experiences, and since the thread was created yesterday, this thread was filled with excellent posts/stories ---- Some of the experiences are similar to mine, but the other is different, I might assure you so.


Chase said:
Jillio, your journey touched me in several ways. It’s beautiful and poetic, and if you don’t turn it into a book like Jake is undertaking, it’s a lamentable loss for both worlds.
Click to expand...

Jillio's story is fit enough to reveal in a book all about everyone's experience in the deaf community, that can help with the new people who have children with deafness. For example Deaf like Me By Tom Spradley.

Miss-Delectable said:
Well, JClarke, I can't really answer your questions but this is what I want to say.

I know, for definitely, I wouldn't have fare well in mainstream setting with little or no accommodations. I went to deaf schools all my life, save for a couple of years attending hearing school next door with terps from my school. But I never felt I fitted in either schools, eh.

I wasn't a follower and I chose to do what I felt was right for myself, not just because it's a cool thing to do. Deaf students, particularly the older kids didn't treat me well. I can only guess they were intimidated by my sterling intelligence, lol.

However, when I became school captain and no one dared teased me. ;)

I find treatment, from my experience, from both hearing and deaf pretty much the same.

Like many, I gravitate toward the deaf world than the hearing.....
Click to expand...

Miss Delectable, that's is completely fine with me when you can not express more of the experience, it doesn't matter if it is short or long. Did you attend VCD, yes?


Jolie_77 said:
These stories in this thread has been really amazing in overall and it has made me think of my own experience to a degree.

I, too, like some of you have encountered the lonesomeness of mongering with hearing people in high school. You see, I went to a deaf school all through the elementary, middle and high school years except for those 2 months.

I was so accustomed to be around deaf people because that's the only thing I ever knew. I was able to communicate, laugh, cry or be part of the group. I was part of something. During my junior year of high school, my mother thought it'd be in the best of my interest to stay at home and enroll in a hearing school.

I remember arriving at the hearing school on the first day and met up with my interpreter. I was not sure what to do. I was in for an unknown journey. I made some few friends, I was invited to participate in the cheerleading squad. I also was invited to join in the FBLA (Future Business Leaders of America) organization. It was going good in the beginning. It was not until I realized about a week later that I was becoming miserable. I was not even laughing when other people were laughing. I started to miss being part of the group conversation. I missed my friends at the deaf school. I started to feel so out of the place not knowing what's going on around me. I was feeling frustrated. My grades were failing. I became distant from others and started to participate less and less in the group discussions and other organizations, so and on. It went on and on for the next 2 months and finally, one day I decided to confront my mom.

We had a BIG argument about it. I wanted to go back to the deaf school and stay there until I graduate. She wanted me to stay at the hearing school. I explained to her how it was like at the hearing school. She at first didn't really understand what I was trying to tell her. I said "Mom, do you ever see me having any friends coming over here to visit me or stay over night? Do you ever see me going out of the house to visit my hearing friends? Have you noticed that it's all my deaf friends coming here to visit?" so and on, that kind of talk. She realized that I was miserable and let me re-enroll at the deaf school.

When I returned to the deaf school, I felt much relieved and knew it was a place where I belonged to. It was like a home away from home. In a sense you could say that it was an experience for me to have. I felt like having an "awful" feeling being in that place facing the unknown and not being aware of what's going on around me, feeling out of place and all that. So, It has taught me not to take the deaf community for granted. From that day forward, I have found where I really belong to. I found my voice and identity. I guess you could say that I already had my deaf identity all along but it was not until after I went to the hearing school in order to open my eyes to see what it is really like out there to realize it.

Sorry for the long post. I just wanted to share this with you guys. :)
Click to expand...

Whoo, another excellent story, Jolie_77! That's some amazing story, I have no wonder everyone has different experiences! :eek3:

Keep it comin', AD'ers. Would love to hear yours!

I know you all would like to hear mine, but patience is vitural
 
wow interesting thread. I have no chance to read all the posts in the whole thead. I will be back and spent my time to read the whole thread and post later.
 
Miss-Delectable said:
Jolie77,
You're right about learning more out of classroom at times.

Here's my example: SEE was used in classrooms, but we learned Auslan on the playground due to several kids from culturally deaf families.

I can remember us signing in Auslan during class times and leaving the teacher like this: :confused: *grin*
Click to expand...

:lol:

I can imagine how that threw the teacher out of the loop!

Nevertheless, It is always good to learn a thing or two out of the classrooms. ;)
 
i will post mine but my son keeps jumping on me and screwing up the keyboard so if I type long , he will screw it up. When my hubby is home tmw and I am doing nothing, i will type mine. Need a clear mind for this.
 
shel90 said:
i will post mine but my son keeps jumping on me and screwing up the keyboard so if I type long , he will screw it up. When my hubby is home tmw and I am doing nothing, i will type mine. Need a clear mind for this.
Click to expand...

No rush, Shel! :)
 
Back
Top