The Talking Deafie

matajan said:
If you went to local high school, you know you will have bunch of friends

But you went to private school, it seems limit and only you can make new friends from your rival or league schools same as I did. You know how I feel?

I do not understand why many deafies did not realize they do not have social with local friends when go school for the deaf, yeah it is cool cuz for education. Later, they never see each other after hs, go back to hometown same as phillip exeter academy or princeton day school or rugters preparatory school it called independent is different from local.

See why george bush is really lonely and alone but decide to preside his position for years ever he went to exeter to find those life is not same from local.
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matajan said:
I am sure that hearing friends have no idea of public or local schools like same as I did, already conservation with them before. If we went to same school, we could know each other but outside is not easy like you want to meet rugters prep girl instead of ur high school.
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why do you keep talking about it with us? Why not talk about this with a psychologist? They have Ivy League degree and they know how to explain to you.
 
No...jiro, you do not understand what does independent students like you and me?
 
matajan said:
No...jiro, you do not understand what does independent students like you and me?
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let's get this one thing correct.

You are not an independent student like me. You are nothing like me because I am an independent person. You are a dependent person. You depend on others to fix your problems.

I've never been to private school nor preparatory school. I've never had a problem socializing with hearing or deaf people from any schools. I've never had a problem dating a hearing or deaf girl. and I've never really studied well in my life. I was a B-average student and I do everything myself.

Now do you understand that you should see a psychologist to ask a lot of questions?
 
Jiro said:
let's get this one thing correct.

You are not an independent student like me. You are nothing like me because I am an independent person. You are a dependent person. You depend on others to fix your problems.

I've never been to private school nor preparatory school. I've never had a problem socializing with hearing or deaf people from any schools. I've never had a problem dating a hearing or deaf girl. and I've never really studied well in my life. I was a B-average student and I do everything myself.

Now do you understand that you should see a psychologist to ask a lot of questions?
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Now, I do understand. I will see a psychologist when I go back to school next month.

I was not surprised you are B- average but get into state college. But I thought it is hard to get into.
 
matajan said:
Now, I do understand. I will see a psychologist when I go back to school next month.
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don't lie. promise that you will see a psychologist when you go back to school. You can ask any questions to psychologist such as girls, socializing, etc. He/she can help you the best he/she can. Don't be embarrassed. The conversation with psychologist is confidential. Nobody will know.

matajan said:
I was not surprised you are B- average but get into state college. But I thought it is hard to get into.
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Yes it is hard to get into but I got in. You know how? I worked hard in daytime to earn money and then I went to evening classes for transition program. It's for professional adults with no college degree trying to get back to school because I stopped going to college for about 2-3 years to work full-time to earn money to pay for college tuition. I worked hard by myself and I got a very strong recommendation from a mentor with strong influence at Rutgers University to accept me as a Rutgers student. I graduated with B-average overall but I am actually A-average in my major degree.
 
deafbajagal said:
It wasn't easy for me to be accepted in the deaf community either. Many deaf people were really harsh to me because they knew I could, and did, speak.

Many people think I'm hard of hearing and choose to refuse to believe I'm profoundly deaf.

When I tried to get transferred to the deaf school when I was in high school, the audiologist heard me speak to my parents...she concluded I had too much hearing to qualify. WITHOUT looking at my audiogram or assessments. My mother told her I was deaf in both ears. She finally agreed to doing an audiogram...and she was shocked. Then she made me to two more just to make sure I wasn't "faking" it. Then she saw my other assessments from other aud's and saw their assessments were the same results as hers. She finally looked at my mother and said, "She's deaf. She really is."

I regret learning how to speak because it makes it harder on me. People assume I can hear good enough, so they won't provide the appropriate modifications. I can talk to them, so they often won't write back what they are saying or take the time to make sure I can understand them. Some of them will make the assumption that all deaf people can speak like me, which makes me a bad role model. I feel a lot of deaf people resent me for being able to speak, and I hide the fact I can whenever possible. Speaking is hard work. And when I do use speech I can't help but feel dirty about it. I feel like I'm betraying my true self or something.

By speaking, I'm putting myself in the middle - with no place to belong.
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Just out of curiosity, what does your audiogram look like?
 
The last one showed over 100 dB loss in both ears...with my aid in my right ear, it does improve to 95 dB.

I need to get another one done to get my aid tweaked a bit...when I do, I'll scan and post it on here. l
 
matajan said:
I did not tell hearing friends I am deaf until last...but i was not surprise my parents or friends tell others i cannot hear without my permission but is it properly? because some i know they did not tell until last...

is it happened experience in mainstream before?
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How is it you had/have hearing friends before they knew/found out that you're deaf?
 
deafbajagal said:
Exactly.

It's funny how after so many years of meeting deaf people, either in life or on a forum such as this one, I still get amazed that I'm not alone in my experiences. For so long, I thought I was the only one. That's the price of isolation...that haunting feeling of loneliness where no one can relate. And there are so many of us out there.
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You said it very well! Thru the years, many deafies have said to me..."you look like a hearie"....say what?....and many people I knew in high school have said..."Wow...you "went both ways"!...Hearing & Deaf....So I do feel that those of us who are late deafned have feelings of isolation at times.
 
AuslanGirl said:
I'm deaf oral...I was born deaf-profound in left hear, HA in right. I couldn't talk til I was 2 when my adopted mum started to teach me to speak in voice....years of speech therapy, which I HATED...I never knew about deaf world or signing...my parents didn't want me to be involved in the deaf world, so I didn't learn about the deaf or about Auslan til 11-12 years ago. Now I have quite a few deaf friends, and I sign quite well, and when I am around my hearing friends, I talk really well with them. I'm seen as the bridge between two worlds at my church, because I interpret for the deaf (who don't don't speak-only sign), and the hearing world who can't sign. I quite enjoy it at times, but there have been times and still are where I wonder exactly which world I really belong in...seems so often some deaf see me as hearing bse I'm oral as well as signing, and treat me like a bit of an outcast and with great suspicion, like I'm not really one of them, and some hearing see me as deaf, and don't have much patience for me when I ask them to repeat what they say or to let me lipread them. *sighs*

AuslanGirl :)
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G'day! AuslanGirl, I'm a fellow Aussie. Come join the Australia Group on AllDeaf and meet other Aussies there :wave:
 
rockin'robin said:
You said it very well! Thru the years, many deafies have said to me..."you look like a hearie"....say what?....and many people I knew in high school have said..."Wow...you "went both ways"!...Hearing & Deaf....So I do feel that those of us who are late deafned have feelings of isolation at times.
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Yeah, and what exactly does a hearie look like? :giggle: The last time I looked we were all humans. It's only that deafies are a little more unique in how they view the world.
 
rebeccalj said:
Yeah, and what exactly does a hearie look like? :giggle: The last time I looked we were all humans. It's only that deafies are a little more unique in how they view the world.
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They have smoother, stiffer faces, because they don't use them like signers.
 
Does one's face change when one becomes a bilaterally deaf? So far mine doesn't appear to have changed. Twenty years for now?

Implanted Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07
 
drphil said:
Does one's face change when one becomes a bilaterally deaf? So far mine doesn't appear to have changed. Twenty years for now?

Implanted Advanced Bionics-Harmony activated Aug/07
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If you use ASL it will. If you continue to operate as a hearing person, it won't be an expressive face.
 
I think I tend to look like I'm staring when people talk to me. Don't know if that is all the time or what. Plus, many people get uncomfortable because I don't maintain eye contact when I am trying to lipread, They must think I am staring at some food on their face or something. :lol:
 
I totally know what you say and mean. I feel like I spend my life watching lips and if I'm not doing that I am watching body language and facial expressions to understand. When I am in that *zone* I have no expression.
 
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