The ex bashing/discussion thread

[Juli-terp-to-be]

What I saw in my above described situation, was a judge that favored members of an organization that he himself belonged to. This judge ruled favorably in all of his judgements when any member (or family members) of the organization were in his court room.

disgusting that people will allow themselves to be used that way.

 

[posts from hell]

once yea

What I saw in my above described situation, was a judge that favored members of an organization that he himself belonged to. This judge ruled favorably in all of his judgements when any member (or family members) of the organization were in his court room.

Welcome to America, the land of the "who you know = success"

 

[Steinhauer]

disgusting that people will allow themselves to be used that way.

Well, I can't name names, but that district is going through some "house cleaning". A family member of the opposing party is STILL stalking me. The entire police department is aware of it.

The same police department that arrested one of the judges in that district for plying underage kids with booze in her home (another crazy story).

There were several prominent members of that organization in her home, but the names have not been released to the public yet. Just a couple of names were released, like one, being the State Senator.

 

[Steinhauer]

Welcome to America, the land of the "who you know = success"

some say the good ol boy system is dead .... it ain't.

 

[Juli-terp-to-be]

well, i can't name names, but that district is going through some "house cleaning". A family member of the opposing party is still stalking me. The entire police department is aware of it.

The same police department that arrested one of the judges in that district for plying underage kids with booze in her home (another crazy story).

There were several prominent members of that organization in her home, but the names have not been released to the public yet. Just a couple of names were released, like one, being the state senator.

oof!

 

[Steinhauer]

oof!

That's not the end of it. The Judge wanted to represent the boys who were cited with underage drinking. She appeared in court as their attorney and asked the judge to just let them go with a warning.

one of them attended a University and was on the baseball team of that University. She claimed his prior baseball practice was his required community service. This means, if you are the son of a member of the good ol boy system, you don't have to pick cans up on the side of the road like everyone else.

However, when she was on the bench, she put the same exact type of offenders in jail. This was all hush hush too, until a certain someone went public with it. Then the SHTF.


this is just one of the articles where names were mentioned:


http://www.mdjonline.com/view/full_...-Prosecutor-seeks-more-Busch-case-information


http://www.mdjonline.com/view/full_...-Penalty-for-underage-drinking--Ball-practice

ok, now that it has been established that it has been a common practice for those on the bench in that district to "protect their own", let me ask this:

if your child had been ordered to go to jail for underage drinking by that very same judge, what would be your honest reaction?

 

[Frisky Feline]

That is fucking insane. I'm sorry that happened to you, truly. I also think some things should not be said in a public forum...

And I agree with Steinhauer; I would shoot all of them. (Damnit, I hate agreeing with that guy!)

Is that why you did not want to know or something that we may not know why the words should not be in public?


Out there people who do something so crazy that you never thought they would do to someone you know for a long time and still do it to someone that was out of lines and hurt.

I admire that juli and deafbaj for making us to be aware that people who you know for long time and still hurt you that you would never thought of. so I apprecaite juli and deafbaj for their braves of sharing their experiences and help each other by making it public.

Again, I am sorry for all of you whoever have experience with this kind of experiences that should not be treat like this way.

 

[Jiro]

Of course, I would be sexist otherwise & the thread would be closed. I have never had a thread closed on me in the year I have been here. :Ohno: And I don't want to start now LOL

lol ok

well I don't have any stories to share because I've never had bad break-up. We broke up on good term and I'm still good friends with all of them. It broke my heart to read awful stories in this thread.

awful.... awful..... how can people be that cruel? what a f'ing animal....

 

[Jiro]

First...one of MANY...he used my identification information to get credit cards in my name...and then he had the bills sent to a new post office box that I didn't know about...until $130,000 later.

UGH. The bitch of it is...the courts say I have to pay the debt because there's no hardcore proof he did it without my consent. Especially since we were married at the time. BULLSHIT.

Yeah I can sort of understand that. When I was going through my divorce my ex tried to saddle me with $40,000 worth of credit card debt. I got out of it cause I never signed any credit cards & my name was never on any of them.

i dunno but what about declaring bankruptcy?

 

[Jiro]

Considering the situation..

You'd have to be running AC constantly for the entire month, 5 TV's, 2 cable boxes, 2 game consoles (for 200 hours of the month), 50 hours of both high and medium 6 icnh coil electric range cooking, 50 hours of 8 inch coil range cooking at HIGH, running an upright freezer, 30 hours of oven usage at 350 deg F, entire month of running an old refrigerator - pre energy star -, with HEAT at the same time running constantly the entire month (with AC), PC/PCmonitor/Printer, 20 loads of washer/dryers, 20 100 watt light bulbs on for 10 hours daily for 30 days straight, a month of a fish aquarium, hot tub for the entire month, water bed heater on for a month ...

all that comes to $180 a month here in colorado - which shes in the south - much less electricity consumed.

maybe that's what he did!

 

[Miss-Delectable]

My heart hurts when I hear about what has been done to you, Deafbaja, dixie and Juli.

I would have castrated that bastard and leave him out in the desert for the vulcans to prey upon.

 

[shel90]

My ex didnt do anything like some of your ex's did.

All he did was emotionally destroy me in our marriage to the point where I believed that everything was my fault and that he was always right. I was always walking on eggshells towards the end of our marriage for fear of pissing him off. No, he never hit me or anything but his words were so cruel.

He always threatened to kill me if I ever cheated on him so I was always afraid to talk to any men because if I looked at one passing by at a restaurant, he would start accusing me of flirting with the guy or whatever. Well, it was him who did the cheating not me and I found out so I called off the marriage.

Since the split, he manipulated me into thinking we had a friendly divorce and didnt need the courts to handle where our daughter lived and ect. Well, he took her and moved 3 hours away to live near Ocean City, MD with his ex girlfriend. I was so upset but he told me that it was my fault for wanting to live near DC and I could move to Ocean City if I really wanted to be close to my daughter. That time, I was in my 3rd semester at Gallaudet and there were no teaching jobs for me down there. I did contact the schools for any deaf ed programs. Even his ex girlfriend helped me because she felt bad for me. No jobs. I had two job offers in Arizona after graduation and we were supposed to move to AZ after I graduated so I told him about them and asked if he was willing to move back. He said no cuz he bought a house near Ocean City with his ex girlfriend. I turned down the jobs and continued for another 6 months working part time.

Whenever I brought my daughter back to him, he would constantly scream at me for whatever happened to her at my place, like for one example, she fell while playing outside in a playground and bruised her knee. He threatened to take her away from me forever and that always left me shaking and in a panic mode that I couldnt sleep well for days afterwards. It was a constant thing with him for several years up until he finally took her away to AZ.

Now, he is saying I cant have her at all except for 4 weeks out of the year. I got fed up and hired a lawyer. Enough is enough with his controlling ways.

 

[Dixie]

I'm having an hard time believing this... 1 year of my electricity doesnt come close to 1200/yr. I also live in a decent sized 4/3 home....

If you lived with my ex you would have believed it. The house we were in was a 3 bedroom one bath with a den and laundry room. From the information I was able to obtain he had wired around the meter box without my knowledge and had a fake tag placed on the box which he got from his brother that worked for the electric company. This electricity had been bootlegged from September up through the middle of February when I threw him out. He also had wasteful habits such as leaving the TV on 24/7 (he claimed he could not sleep without the TV on). One night I woke up just absolutely freezing my ass off. It was 50 degrees in the house and the heater was running full blast. I got to looking and he was downstairs in the den sleeping with the window right above the couch wide open. He claimed he was hot. He also ran the A/C full blast at all times in the spring and summer.

And I'm having a hard time your electric bill doesn't come to 1200/yr. Doing the math the average bill during that time should have been $200/month. As I said he was extremely wasteful. He could be wasteful because he knew in the end he wasn't the one to have to pay for it anyway. If I had solid proof of what he had done you can bet your bottom dollar I would have taken him to court. Because of what he did my credit score is ruined. Thankfully we were able to talk with the electric company and explain to them the situation and the deal we came to was that there would be a flag placed on the account and that his name and social security number was recorded and placed into their records so that should he try to obtain an account with them in another location he would not be able to do so. However on my end of it, I can never live in that specific address again without having that electric bill paid in full, but I would be able to obtain electric utilities in my name only if I lived at another address. The reason being is because I had obtained benefit of the stolen electricity at that specific address.

At least now I have better sense in:
1.) never fully trust your spouse with personal information - it could come back to bite you. (he somehow managed to use my SSN to get the utilities turned on in my name without my consent)
2.) Check with your utility company regularly if your spouse is claiming the bill is paid and yet you never see a bill come in the mail. Don't just assume that if the lights are on that everything's fine. Had I done this I probably would have caught it early while it was still manageable.
3.) If your the breadwinner of the couple make sure all utilities are in your name and only you can be allowed to speak with the utility company regarding the account. If your spouse wants to help with the bills, ask for cash in your hand this way you are not stuck with a bad check.

After all the shit my ex-pulled I have a hard time believing in marriage. I'm thinking I am probably better off unmarried.

 

[Banjo]

And I'm having a hard time your electric bill doesn't come to 1200/yr.

I would say we pay around roughly $500-$800 a year for electricity, but that's because we don't leave lights everywhere. We just don't waste any electricity that are not being put to any use.

 

[posts from hell]

And I'm having a hard time your electric bill doesn't come to 1200/yr.

Yeah, not many people do. I pay $43 a month on average. I have it prorated though out the year.

I have energy saving lights (these florescent sprialy thingy) in every socket, I don't watch TV, my AC/Heater is energy efficient, I also leave one light in the kitchen on all night. other than that, everything else is off.

During the day my thermo is set at 66 degrees, and I am under a sleeping bag keeping warm atm.

BTW for the rest of your post .... O.o!

 

[Banjo]

Yeah, not many people do. I pay $43 a month on average. I have it prorated though out the year.

I have energy saving lights (these florescent sprialy thingy) in every socket, I don't watch TV, my AC/Heater is energy efficient, I also leave one light in the kitchen on all night. other than that, everything else is off.

During the day my thermo is set at 66 degrees, and I am under a sleeping bag keeping warm atm.

BTW for the rest of your post .... O.o!

$43/month is pretty good. THat would be around $86 every two months. We pay every two months here. It's nearly impossible to keep it that low here due to the surcharges for delivery, debt retirement, etc. These surcharges all together vary around $30 to $40 every two months. It's highway robbery.

The actual charge for the electricity itself in my household is low, sometimes less than the surcharges all together. Most people I know around here pay $200-$400 every two months. I usually pay $100 every two months on average, sometimes less.

So I would say I pay around $60 for actual use of electricity every two months on average.

 

[rockin'robin]

My electic bill averages around $220.00/monthly. That includes heat/AC, lights, stove, etc., everything. 4 people in my home. As for the thermostat on 66 degress for the winter, no way! Too cold. Plus, 4 people using hot water for baths every night....We live comfortably, but I do conserve.

 

[rockin'robin]

My ex didnt do anything like some of your ex's did.

All he did was emotionally destroy me in our marriage to the point where I believed that everything was my fault and that he was always right. I was always walking on eggshells towards the end of our marriage for fear of pissing him off. No, he never hit me or anything but his words were so cruel.

He always threatened to kill me if I ever cheated on him so I was always afraid to talk to any men because if I looked at one passing by at a restaurant, he would start accusing me of flirting with the guy or whatever. Well, it was him who did the cheating not me and I found out so I called off the marriage.

Since the split, he manipulated me into thinking we had a friendly divorce and didnt need the courts to handle where our daughter lived and ect. Well, he took her and moved 3 hours away to live near Ocean City, MD with his ex girlfriend. I was so upset but he told me that it was my fault for wanting to live near DC and I could move to Ocean City if I really wanted to be close to my daughter. That time, I was in my 3rd semester at Gallaudet and there were no teaching jobs for me down there. I did contact the schools for any deaf ed programs. Even his ex girlfriend helped me because she felt bad for me. No jobs. I had two job offers in Arizona after graduation and we were supposed to move to AZ after I graduated so I told him about them and asked if he was willing to move back. He said no cuz he bought a house near Ocean City with his ex girlfriend. I turned down the jobs and continued for another 6 months working part time.

Whenever I brought my daughter back to him, he would constantly scream at me for whatever happened to her at my place, like for one example, she fell while playing outside in a playground and bruised her knee. He threatened to take her away from me forever and that always left me shaking and in a panic mode that I couldnt sleep well for days afterwards. It was a constant thing with him for several years up until he finally took her away to AZ.

Now, he is saying I cant have her at all except for 4 weeks out of the year. I got fed up and hired a lawyer. Enough is enough with his controlling ways.

This is mental abuse. It affects your self-esteem, self-worth and pride. Been there, too! Took me 13 months to get out of that relationship, too long!...But I was young....now I know the signals....what to look for.
Good luck in court.

 

[AlleyCat]

Yeah, not many people do. I pay $43 a month on average. I have it prorated though out the year.

I have energy saving lights (these florescent sprialy thingy) in every socket, I don't watch TV, my AC/Heater is energy efficient, I also leave one light in the kitchen on all night. other than that, everything else is off.

During the day my thermo is set at 66 degrees, and I am under a sleeping bag keeping warm atm.

BTW for the rest of your post .... O.o!

You could always shack up with a gal and that'd keep you even warmer. You could even get rid of the sleeping bag then.

 

[rockin'robin]

Hmm... to be honest - I can see both sides of this. I can see myself easily having a business meeting at a local topless bar, I can easily see myself owning one, I can easily see myself chilling at one.

I can also see the issue of the man going to topless bars too much to the point that the wife feels degraded.

Thats why I demand my woman to be open to these things, hell... I even invite them along.

I can't see anyone having a "business meeting" at a topless bar!....If you want to own one, that's ur business. Many of them get raided....as for you "chilling" at a topless bar, that's OK too...and maybe ur "woman" would accept it....dunno about "ur wife."....
I took my marriage vows seriously, PFH....even the divorse judge sided with me. I took absolutely nothing from my ex...all I wanted was my freedom, a divorse. And he was a wealthy man, I could have taken him to the cleaners, as my lawyer was encouraging me to do so, I declined, and told him to take his $$ and spend it at topless bars and when he got tired of them, to stick the $$ up his arse....To this day, he's a very unhappy, alcoholic man......