The Deaf Community

GrendelQ said:
Wirelessly posted

What view do you feel I gave you a hard time about?
Click to expand...

You grilled me to see if I had any ASL skills. I do. The point being, you had to see if I measured up and put me in a position to justify why I'm here. I honestly wonder if some of you are afraid of me. Afraid to really find out that maybe, just maybe, a hearing person CAN show empathy towards a deaf person; if they'd only listen.

Well, I AM listening. I know I can't change things all by myself, nor am I trying to go on some crusade. But, it sure would be nice if some would just accept what I have to say. Because, you know what? You and FJ are using ASL with your girls. You're one of the few who are and do. I'm not against you, but you put me on the opposing side simply because I'm hearing and I don't *seem* to have any connection to the deaf community. Here's the thing, I've learned from those I talked to. I've listened to them. I've talked to oral deafies. I've chatted with ASL reliant deafies, too. I used my ASL to the best I was capable of, and, when necessary we go the pen/paper route, but we MAKE IT WORK. Why? Because, we care about one another. I'm a hearing person with deaf friends!

That is something NONE of you can deny, but it IT IS something some of you are afraid of. People are afraid and I can't fix that for them. All I can do is continue to stick to my beliefs, and hope and pray, that the ones who're afraid get the help they so desperately need.

There are people like me around. You just have to give us a chance.
 
AlleyCat said:
I think my Dad understood that. That he and my Mom couldn't fully appreciate what I was experiencing. My mom was the one who was actively involved in my growing-up years (even though I do not agree with the choices she (and Dad) made like mainstreaming, etc.). However, like when I was bored on a weekend, instead of Dad making me hang out with old stuffy relatives if he knew I wanted to go hang out with my deaf friends, he would always let me, and say "yes, you do need to go be with your friends." I'm not sure if I'm wording this correctly, but he was always very gracious about it -- I think he got that I needed some "deaf" time with others I could relate to.
Click to expand...

I think it is wonderful that your Dad was so understanding, and that he didn't see you need to be with your friends as a threat to his relationship with you. I really wish there were more parents like your Dad. We would have so many more well adjusted deaf kids if there were.
 
Oceanbreeze said:
You grilled me to see if I had any ASL skills. I do. The point being, you had to see if I measured up and put me in a position to justify why I'm here. I honestly wonder if some of you are afraid of me. Afraid to really find out that maybe, just maybe, a hearing person CAN show empathy towards a deaf person; if they'd only listen.

Well, I AM listening. I know I can't change things all by myself, nor am I trying to go on some crusade. But, it sure would be nice if some would just accept what I have to say. Because, you know what? You and FJ are using ASL with your girls. You're one of the few who are and do. I'm not against you, but you put me on the opposing side simply because I'm hearing and I don't *seem* to have any connection to the deaf community. Here's the thing, I've learned from those I talked to. I've listened to them. I've talked to oral deafies. I've chatted with ASL reliant deafies, too. I used my ASL to the best I was capable of, and, when necessary we go the pen/paper route, but we MAKE IT WORK. Why? Because, we care about one another. I'm a hearing person with deaf friends!

That is something NONE of you can deny, but it IT IS something some of you are afraid of. People are afraid and I can't fix that for them. All I can do is continue to stick to my beliefs, and hope and pray, that the ones who're afraid get the help they so desperately need.

There are people like me around. You just have to give us a chance.
Click to expand...

Because you have listened to what the deaf individuals have to say, and because you give their responses validity, you have developed an empathy and an understanding that reflects the deaf values. I find your posts to be well informed and thought out. It is obvious that you have made the effort to understand. I don't care what your hearing status is, you are an asset to the deaf community when it comes to presenting their perspective.
 
jillio said:
Because you have listened to what the deaf individuals have to say, and because you give their responses validity, you have developed an empathy and an understanding that reflects the deaf values. I find your posts to be well informed and thought out. It is obvious that you have made the effort to understand. I don't care what your hearing status is, you are an asset to the deaf community when it comes to presenting their perspective.
Click to expand...

Thank you. :ty:

As I've said, I'm not out to prove anything. I don't feel I have to. All I wish for is that all deaf people grow up with the right to be understood. In my view, the only way that's going to happen is if ASL is a given for every deaf person.

As for the hearing, I can't change people. All I can do is, continue to be open to those whom I was fortunate enough to meet. By meeting them, it has given me an appreciation for what they've struggled with. This also didn't just start in the last couple of years. It began when I was in grade school and mainstreamed with other deaf students. That's where it began for me. I saw "their flying hands", and I wanted to know what they were talking about. I was a little nosy, I admit it :giggle:, but we were kids.

Anyway, one of my friends was HoH. So, I asked her one day what she did with her hands. She said it was sign language (ASL). She offered to teach me some signs, and so it began. I was 12, I think? She was a little younger than me. But, we became friends and remain friends today.

I've also continued to meet other deafies as time as gone on. My next goal is to become fluent in ASL. I plan to do that by moving to an area that has a rich deaf community (we don't where I currently live). I will one day know the language inside and out, but until then, I will continue to make do. At least, I make the effort, which, is not something most hearing would do, sadly.
 
Oceanbreeze said:
Thank you. :ty:

As I've said, I'm not out to prove anything. I don't feel I have to. All I wish for is that all deaf people grow up with the right to be understood. In my view, the only way that's going to happen is if ASL is a given for every deaf person.

As for the hearing, I can't change people. All I can do is, continue to be open to those whom I was fortunate enough to meet. By meeting them, it has given me an appreciation for what they've struggled with. This also didn't just start in the last couple of years. It began when I was in grade school and mainstreamed with other deaf students. That's where it began for me. I saw "their flying hands", and I wanted to know what they were talking about. I was a little nosy, I admit it :giggle:, but we were kids.

Anyway, one of my friends was HoH. So, I asked her one day what she did with her hands. She said it was sign language (ASL). She offered to teach me some signs, and so it began. I was 12, I think? She was a little younger than me. But, we became friends and remain friends today.

I've also continued to meet other deafies as time as gone on. My next goal is to become fluent in ASL. I plan to do that by moving to an area that has a rich deaf community (we don't where I currently live). I will one day know the language inside and out, but until then, I will continue to make do. At least, I make the effort, which, is not something most hearing would do, sadly.
Click to expand...

And I have nothing but admiration and respect for you as a result.

The thing is, Shel and I aren't out to "prove" anything either. We are simply attempting to give a voice to the deaf perspective, and to impart information from that perspective that will prevent the suffering and under education of any more deaf kids. Unfortunately, the agenda of some seems to be to "prove" us wrong....impossible to do as one cannot prove that someone description of what they have experienced is wrong. That is where so many get off on the wrong foot. Telling the deaf here that they are wrong when they relay their experiences growing up.
 
jillio said:
And I have nothing but admiration and respect for you as a result.

The thing is, Shel and I aren't out to "prove" anything either. We are simply attempting to give a voice to the deaf perspective, and to impart information from that perspective that will prevent the suffering and under education of any more deaf kids. Unfortunately, the agenda of some seems to be to "prove" us wrong....impossible to do as one cannot prove that someone description of what they have experienced is wrong. That is where so many get off on the wrong foot. Telling the deaf here that they are wrong when they relay their experiences growing up.
Click to expand...

It's sad. As I said in a previous post, it may start with changing how Dr's and other professionals who work with the deaf perceive them. The only way to do that is to force them to take courses in deaf culture and history as part of their currculi. Even that probably doesn't go far enough, but it would be a start. We may not be able to stop the medicalization, but, lets give our future Dr's, SLP's, and Audis something to THINK about! As it stands now, as you well know, they look at being deaf as something to "fix" ....and that's it. "The ears are defective, so we have to fix that.", giving NO thought to what happens AFTER.
 
Oceanbreeze said:
You grilled me to see if I had any ASL skills. I do. The point being, you had to see if I measured up and put me in a position to justify why I'm here.
Click to expand...

You are very mistaken. I have never grilled you or asked you to justify your existence here. I am not in a position to test someone else's skills. In fact, a significant number of my posts are aimed at finding ways to improve my own ASL skills and encourage people to lobby or work towards making ASL more accessible to hearing families of deaf children.

Oceanbreeze said:
I honestly wonder if some of you are afraid of me. Afraid to really find out that maybe, just maybe, a hearing person CAN show empathy towards a deaf person; if they'd only listen.
Click to expand...
:laugh2: Because, being a hearing person myself, who claims empathy with my deaf child, I would naturally think I might be the only such being in the whole world? Um, no.
Oceanbreeze said:
I'm not against you, but you put me on the opposing side simply because I'm hearing and I don't *seem* to have any connection to the deaf community.
Click to expand...

What are you on about? I, of all people here -- being hearing -- would never want to marginalize someone on this forum, my own participation here is suspect enough to several members. Is it possible OB, that either you've misinterpreted something I've written or mistaken me for someone else?
 
GrendelQ said:
You are very mistaken. I have never grilled you or asked you to justify your existence here. I am not in a position to test someone else's skills. In fact, a significant number of my posts are aimed at finding ways to improve my own ASL skills and encourage people to lobby or work towards making ASL more accessible to hearing families of deaf children.


:laugh2: Because, being a hearing person myself, who claims empathy with my deaf child, I would naturally think I might be the only such being in the whole world? Um, no.


What are you on about? I, of all people here -- being hearing -- would never want to marginalize someone on this forum, my own participation here is suspect enough to several members. Is it possible OB, that either you've misinterpreted something I've written or mistaken me for someone else?
Click to expand...

I don't even know how to respond to this.

And, that just might be my cue to step out. I've said all I needed to say, so I'm done. If anyone feels the need to respond to me further, they can hit my PM box.
 
shel90 said:
:gpost:
We need more hearing people like you who can understand and emphathize with our struggles being in an hearing-only environment.
Click to expand...
Well, doesn't that kind of speak for itself that there are indeed some disadvantages of being in a deaf-only community?
 
posts from hell said:
Glad you were getting an ego boost.... I'm sure the students in the class didn't care.
Click to expand...
FYI, that to this day, I'm still friends with some of my school mates or class mates, with some of them even going as far as saying I was an inspiration to them.
 
posts from hell said:
Other dilemmas are not as severe socially as hearing loss. As deaf people we tend to see minorities, other people with different issues, etc more equally than our hearing counterparts. The reality is that in the hearing world: hearing and speaking ability = IQ count.
Click to expand...
Not all of the culturally deaf are compassionate or are being like "mother teresa". If anything, I've seen some of the culturally deaf actually being hard on each other. Not that there's anything wrong with it, they're just being normal...
 
Oceanbreeze said:
I don't. I never said I had a beef with a parent who takes the CI route. My beef is with the parents who drop sign in favor of oral only.
Click to expand...
Even that, why do you still have a beef with that approach? What is it to you? You even said it yourself, you're not even fluent in signs. What have you got to gain from it?
 
Oceanbreeze said:
I'm not. I'm in favor of a full tool box approach. ASL being one of those "tools". Many hearing parents of deaf children implant, and, go the oral only route. We've yet to see what impact that will have on them in the future. We know from the past, however, that deafies exposed to AVT and oral only with HAs, didn't fair so well. They grew up "functional" in some sense, but they also grew up lacking and wanting for more' wanting for a sense of belonging somewhere. I fully admit I don't know what it's like to live between two worlds, but, I can imagine it's not fun or easy.
Click to expand...
Just cause you may know few signs and have some friends that are culturally deaf makes you an expert on what's the best way to raise a deaf child.

Oceanbreeze said:
Further more, I find it incredibly ironic that the only people here giving me a hard time about what I believe, my views, ect, are you, Faire_Jour, and Grendel. I'm not sure about you, but I know that FJ and Grendel are also hearing. Ah, well. Like I said, I know what I believe. I know that not every deaf person is going to accept me, and that's fine. I'm not here to prove anything to anyone. I just wish the best for all. I do my best to put myself in the other person's shoes and go from there. If that makes me wrong in some eyes, so be it.
Click to expand...
You're still only seeing things as an one way street. And are only putting yourself in "certain people's shoes", particularly the culturally deaf's.

As for your not being sure "about what I am", doesn't that kind of speak for itself doesn't it? That you may even have a preconceived notion of what a deaf person or identity is or should be about. Such that if one does not proport the same views that of some of the culturally deaf, you question if the person is even deaf to begin with...right?

FYI, I was born with a profound hearing loss in both ears and took the mainstreaming route all my life. Wore hearing aids growing up and got a CI two years ago...
 
HHIssues said:
Well, doesn't that kind of speak for itself that there are indeed some disadvantages of being in a deaf-only community?
Click to expand...

What disadvantages?

What about hearing people who are in a hearing-only community?
 
HHIssues said:
Well, doesn't that kind of speak for itself that there are indeed some disadvantages of being in a deaf-only community?
Click to expand...

Just herd some hearies into there. At gunpoint. Mwuh hah hah hah.
 
HHIssues said:
Just cause you may know few signs and have some friends that are culturally deaf makes you an expert on what's the best way to raise a deaf child.


You're still only seeing things as an one way street. And are only putting yourself in "certain people's shoes", particularly the culturally deaf's.As for your not being sure "about what I am", doesn't that kind of speak for itself doesn't it? That you may even have a preconceived notion of what a deaf person or identity is or should be about. Such that if one does not proport the same views that of some of the culturally deaf, you question if the person is even deaf to begin with...right?

FYI, I was born with a profound hearing loss in both ears and took the mainstreaming route all my life. Wore hearing aids growing up and got a CI two years ago...
Click to expand...

Knowing OB as I do, the above bolded statement can be judged to be completely untrue and innaccurate an assessment.

However, given your last statement, it could easily be assumed that you hold your own particular bias, as you have virtually no comparison base. One always believes that what they have is superior...until they are exposed to something else that offers them far more advantages.
 
Back
Top