The Deaf Community

GrendelQ said:
How did you become fluent in ASL? (Over what period of time, what route did you take)
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I'm not fluent yet, but, I'm learning by practice. I have deaf friends who are teaching me ASL.
 
shel90 said:
That can be tricky because I have a 120 db and I can speak a lot better than many people with a 60 db which leads hearing people into thinking I can hear better than them which is the total opposite.

Funny, a few years ago, I went with my friend through a drive through. We didnt want to go inside the restaurant for whatever reason. She has no speech skills but hears at 40 db with hearing aids while I have speech skills but cant hear very well. So, she used her hearing and I used my speech skills to order food through the drive through. It was funny. :lol:
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My son has a 120 dB loss on the left side, and a 100 dB loss on the right. He speaks well, just as you do. In fact, we have discussed how his case parallels yours in the past.
 
Banjo said:
Right, and you don't know what it is like for your daughter too as well. You may get an idea of what it might be like... but you still don't know what it's like.
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Agreed. Just as I will never know what it is like for my son. The only people that could help me with that were deaf adults who had been deaf children.That is why I found contact with, and advise from, them to be the most valuable information I could get. It is also the reason that I gave my child's input validity and allowed him to be a part of every decision that was made.
I know what it is like to be the parent of a deaf child, but I have no idea what it is to be a deaf individual. The only thing I can do is empathize based on what I am told it is like.
 
faire_jour said:
I never said I do, but I do have the insight available from being around her every day since before she was born, interacting with her, talking to her, watching her, asking her, and knowing her....isn't it possible that as her mother, I could have more information than someone who hasn't lived her life and hasn't even met her?
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It also puts you in a position of seeing what you want to see rather than what is actually there.
 
Actually, as someone who is actually living with being deaf, she has more of an idea what your daughter experiences and perceives on a daily basis than you, as a hearing person does.
 
jillio said:
Actually, as someone who is actually living with being deaf, she has more of an idea what your daughter experiences and perceives on a daily basis than you, as a hearing person does.
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Unless they were born hearing, lost it after barely beginning to speak, raised with ASL as their first language, and attended a bi-bi school, implanted at at around age 5 bilaterally, developed auditory skills which lead to learning spoken language but also continued to be a part of the Deaf community....then they actually can't speak to what she experiences. If someone has lived that life, I would love to hear their advice and life experiences. If you have a completely different life experience, how is your experience more relevant than any stranger off the street?
 
HHIssues said:
Did it ever occur to you that there are still other means of communicating even without ASL and even if the child isn't wearing an hearing aid or a CI? For starters, some do develop excellent lipreading skills. Secondly, some of the parents do learn how to be naturally expressive and would still face their child when talking to them or would make a little more than usual mouth articulation and so forth.

For instance, my parents didn't know ASL yet I understood every word they said especially my mother even when I wasn't wearing my hearing aids and that was during the "pre-CI" days...
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Understand everything at all times like your hearing peers?
 
HHIssues said:
Some of you are always telling hearing parents of CI children that "they don't know what is it like to be deaf". Then tell Oceanbreeze that, that "he doesn't know what is it like to be deaf" either.
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You totally missed the point of my post.
 
faire_jour said:
Unless they were born hearing, lost it after barely beginning to speak, raised with ASL as their first language, and attended a bi-bi school, implanted at at around age 5 bilaterally, developed auditory skills which lead to learning spoken language but also continued to be a part of the Deaf community....then they actually can't speak to what she experiences. If someone has lived that life, I would love to hear their advice and life experiences. If you have a completely different life experience, how is your experience more relevant than any stranger off the street?
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Regarding the day to day effects of living with deafness, they still are able to relate to what she experiences moreso than you are. They have it first hand. You have it second, and very often, third hand from people using the same hearing experience as their basis for assessment as you do.
 
posts from hell said:
As a mother that comes naturally. However - I think my mother has much less idea of what I go through compared to my deaf peers.

Same goes for many of my friends.
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Same here...with my mom. Yes we are close but she doesnt know what life was like for me like my deaf peers do.
 
shel90 said:
Same here...with my mom. Yes we are close but she doesnt know what life was like for me like my deaf peers do.
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Yep. The only mother that can fully understand the experiences of a deaf child are a deaf mother.
 
jillio said:
Yep. The only mother that can fully understand the experiences of a deaf child are a deaf mother.
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It doesnt mean I love her any less. It means that I dont go to her about my issues regarding audism, deafness, and etc.
 
shel90 said:
It doesnt mean I love her any less. It means that I dont go to her about my issues regarding audism, deafness, and etc.
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Right. My son and I are extremely close. And he knows that I understand his position as much as is possible for me, because I have listened to what other deaf people tell me and take it to heart. But still, he relies on his deaf friends for full understanding.
 
jillio said:
Right. My son and I are extremely close. And he knows that I understand his position as much as is possible for me, because I have listened to what other deaf people tell me and take it to heart. But still, he relies on his deaf friends for full understanding.
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I think my Dad understood that. That he and my Mom couldn't fully appreciate what I was experiencing. My mom was the one who was actively involved in my growing-up years (even though I do not agree with the choices she (and Dad) made like mainstreaming, etc.). However, like when I was bored on a weekend, instead of Dad making me hang out with old stuffy relatives if he knew I wanted to go hang out with my deaf friends, he would always let me, and say "yes, you do need to go be with your friends." I'm not sure if I'm wording this correctly, but he was always very gracious about it -- I think he got that I needed some "deaf" time with others I could relate to.
 
My younger sister doesn't understand either. I told she doesn't have to. All she need to do to accept that it is just is.
 
Oceanbreeze said:
So, we decide to forgo teaching a deaf baby ASL simply because of logisitics? That seems like it would create an even bigger problem. I still would assert that it's better to have ASL than not have it. Your daughter has ASL to use if she chooses to. What I hope to see in the future is all babies and children being taught it; regardless if they have a CI or not.
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I agree with you OB, in my opinion, all options should be given. Sadly, Sign Language is not generally given as a option as the mainstream is all for pushing oralism and audism, mostly because they are narrow-minded. If Sign Language is included then it fills an important void. I am not just for Sign Language only, but I am an advocate for having Sign Language included in the options for all deaf, whatever their dB. :deaf::ty:

Learning Sign Language in my later years, it has been a slow and tedious, but I don't regret learning because it gives me some relief and escape from the stress of having to be oral and a chance to relax and be who I am. My only regret I have in life is not having that option as a child.
 
BecLak said:
I agree with you OB, in my opinion, all options should be given. Sadly, Sign Language is not generally given as a option as the mainstream is all for pushing oralism and audism, mostly because they are narrow-minded. If Sign Language is included then it fills an important void. I am not just for Sign Language only, but I am an advocate for having Sign Language included in the options for all deaf, whatever their dB. :deaf::ty:

Learning Sign Language in my later years, it has been a slow and tedious, but I don't regret learning because it gives me some relief and escape from the stress of having to be oral and a chance to relax and be who I am. My only regret I have in life is not having that option as a child.
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Thank you. :ty:

It's tedious, yes, but worth learning. Sadly, many hearing parents of deaf children are advised to go the oral only route and aren't given the option of ASL. If a parents chooses a CI for their child, they are encourage to drop ASL in favor of strict AVT/AOT. Ugh.

I'm not against the CI. I just wish ASL were encouraged instead of being seen as merely a "bandaid" until implantation takes place and AVT is taken over as the primary mode of therapy for the child.
 
HHIssues said:
Some of you are always telling hearing parents of CI children that "they don't know what is it like to be deaf". Then tell Oceanbreeze that, that "he doesn't know what is it like to be deaf" either.
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First of all, I'm a SHE.

Secondly, Shel and I are friends. She doesn't have to tell me anything, because, she already has and knows what's I'm about. We've come to respect each other greatly since we've both been on the forum.
 
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