The Deaf Community

posts from hell said:
Post 318, THAT.

Because people who knows and having experienced both and don't exactly suggest you to do the oral route. :) Why should they tell you how to do it?

There is an overwhelming majority of these people. The people who enjoy being oral and not using sign language are in the small majority.

It's also funny when these people (the oral ones) go against the grain both ways :) (in response to your comment that its amusing we are "attacking" the parents)

I go against the grain one way. :)
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I figured that someone would assume that I'm on their side because I said that people attacked FJ and Grendel and not the other way around. I'm really on no one's side 100% of the time. To be honest, there were some posts by FJ that I did not like (same with other AD members). Although, I haven't really seen any posts that I didn't like from Grendel thus far.

The point is...many AD-ers fight/debate in order for the parent to spare the child the horrible experiences they went through. My question is.. are all these debating/fighting sessions doing as intended?

My opinion is.. they are doing exactly opposite as intended.

I like the sound of me going against the grain in both ways. Makes it sound like I question everything.
 
Daredevel7 said:
I figured that someone would assume that I'm on their side because I said that people attacked FJ and Grendel and not the other way around. I'm really on no one's side 100% of the time. To be honest, there were some posts by FJ that I did not like (same with other AD members). Although, I haven't really seen any posts that I didn't like from Grendel thus far.

The point is...many AD-ers fight/debate in order for the parent to spare the child the horrible experiences they went through. My question is.. are all these debating/fighting sessions doing as intended?

My opinion is.. they are doing exactly opposite as intended.

I like the sound of me going against the grain in both ways. Makes it sound like I question everything.
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Never had the thought of you in that post, btw. Was speaking in generalities.
 
Daredevel7, so true. Yes, I was one of the victims of audism, and yes you are right when you said I want to spare any child what I went through. I was taught from a young age that I needed 'fixing' that being deaf in any degree was defective. At school I was taught via the taunting of my peers who were hearing and even from other deaf kids who were in the same boat as me, that it was something to be ashamed of. I spent the majority of my life 'fitting in' and fooling people and even myself that I could hear. It has only been recently that I have come to accept that being deaf is me, is who I am, it is what defines me as a person and that it is not something to be ashamed of. I would like to save any child or person from what I had to go through.

I support total communication as long as it is not depriving the child or person of self-worth and acceptance of who they really are in being deaf. In my own opinion, having Sign Language as the primary language is vitally important.

(btw, my parents are hearing and they have always wanted the best for me as any parent would. They have always been supportive but cannot begin to fathom how I could be content being just as I am without hearing aids or cochlear implant/s or any of the 'fix it' things. But they respect my decision not to go that way).
 
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BecLak said:
Why there has been a firm reaction to FJ's comments and some other hearing people is because there is a strong emphasis implied in their comments that 'hearing' is best and that we should conform to the hearing world with disregard for who we actually are. Let me draw your attention once again to the topic of the thread.

In my own experience: Born severely deaf, I was raised oral, however, I support the total communication approach if it works for you, but for the most part, hearing professionals have not presented the option of Sign Language as the primary language. That is something I regret now as an adult, with everything I went through in my growing years. If I had the option given to me to learn and use Sign Language as a child, I would have saved myself a lot of heartache. Even now, learning Sign Language in my later years, I have found solace in that. I am immersed in the hearing world, I am the only one deaf in my family, my husband and children are all hearing. I still speak when I need to, but now I am glad I have the option not to. The preferrances of the deaf should be respected equally. If one goes Total Communication that is their choice, if one goes sign language only - their choice, if one is oral - again their choice. But those who are hearing should not dictate how we communicate nor should they imply that a total communication or oral approach is the way to 'fix' the 'problem'. Many of us don't see it as a 'problem' nor do we feel we need 'fixing' and this is what needs to be respected.
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:gpost:
 
Daredevel7 said:
I figured that someone would assume that I'm on their side because I said that people attacked FJ and Grendel and not the other way around. I'm really on no one's side 100% of the time. To be honest, there were some posts by FJ that I did not like (same with other AD members). Although, I haven't really seen any posts that I didn't like from Grendel thus far.

The point is...many AD-ers fight/debate in order for the parent to spare the child the horrible experiences they went through. My question is.. are all these debating/fighting sessions doing as intended?

My opinion is.. they are doing exactly opposite as intended.

I like the sound of me going against the grain in both ways. Makes it sound like I question everything.
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I think the last couple of replies to your post have summed up the bulk of it. But I will add that we are not necessarily fighting/debating what FJ is talking about (yes, of course, some, as with others). What we are taking issue is the implied tone that comes with her posts, as well as her sarcasm, rolling eyes, and childish words. Just yesterday there was "I can't wait to prove you wrong !!!!!!!", eye-rolling, and "stop spewing lies !!!!!" This is what we get from her on a daily basis. We are not getting the respect we deserve for our posts, hence why there is anger/fighting going on. I can't say we all are perfect either, but two wrongs do not make a right.
 
KristinaB said:
And - Botti is the reason I may give up on this site.
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KristinaB said:
Yes - there are more people who are offensive and aggressive, however, they don't alway personally attack. Now, I'm not saying Botti does it all the time, but I just get tired of being "belittled" by her. You are one of the aggressive people to me.
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KristinaB said:
I am trying and after a lot of thinking and praying, I will be staying and have come to realize that I did take something Botti said wrong. It was me and not her and for that I apologize to Botti.
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It took me a while to think if I would even respond to this. But I guess I should be clear that you shouldn't bother "taking something Botti said wrong" as I have had you on ignore for some time and nothing I say can possibly apply to you.

Please just stop your obsession with me.
 
Tousi said:
At least she apologized, Botti....
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Yes she did. For something she has done repeatedly if I did not walk on eggshells around her.

For a while I took myself off facebook so I didn't have to watch while she bad mouthed me without naming name to mutual friends so she knew I would see it.

Solved that now.

And I just want it clear I say nothing to her, so she has nothing to get in a snit about.

I had enough of her manipulative behavior!!
 
For some reason, I did not think I was manipulative. I guess I just don't know. I guess I am just ignorant. I will leave and remove you from everything. I will not go to any site where you are.
 
GrendelQ said:
Do I think Doctors profit off the deaf? No, no more than they profit off the hearing.
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Perhaps, but that would only be because the hearing population is so much larger than the deaf population. It is a matter of simple mathmatics.

However, there are specialties whose practice survives only because they profit from the deaf. To believe that they do not profit from the treatment of the deaf patient is completely naive.
 
faire_jour said:
I guess my question is: why do you have an opinion at all? If you are not deaf, Deaf, or have Deaf family, or a deaf child, why do you think you know enough to have an opinion about the subject?
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Audis, doctors, speech therapists, and teachers do it all the time, and they don't have any of the above either.

Then there are those, as well, who have just begun their journey and have so much left to learn as their child grows, yet seem to think that they know enough, over a few years and limited experience, to express an opinion for the deaf.

OB has a great deal of empathy, and has taken the time to contrast and compare the issues. She has a good understanding of the issues and their consequences. I, personally, admire her for taking the time to educate herself and to be open to all information before forming an opinion. And to continue to be open to the deaf perspective by paying attention to what the deaf have to tell her regarding their experiences.

People sometimes care because it is the right thing to do, and not because they have a vested interest in the situation.
 
faire_jour said:
No, how does that give her a stake in the Deaf community? How is that related at all?
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Why does she have to "have a stake" in the deaf community to be socially responsible in her actions? Not everyone decides all of their actions based on a pay off.
 
shel90 said:
But I CAN go to a forum about spinal bifida and relate what it is like to be forced to conform to the majority. That's the difference between you and me.
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Truer words were never spoken.
 
KristinaB said:
And - Botti is the reason I may give up on this site.
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Please don't allow this to happen. You input here is valuable. The contributions you have made to the late deafened thread alone have served to help many people in their adjustment. You are a well respected member here.
 
jillio said:
Please don't allow this to happen. You input here is valuable. The contributions you have made to the late deafened thread alone have served to help many people in their adjustment. You are a well respected member here.
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I second this.
 
deafskeptic said:
I second this.
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I would just like to understand how I am supposed to be manipulative. I always thought I was being open and honest. I don't ask for people to do things, I don't beg and I don't pamper people, but, then again, since I don't understand the reasoning, I just am heartbroken and at a loss.
 
posts from hell said:
In other words, only what YOU believe in.. Not what you trust in the deaf to know better for the community?

You know the organization that I am working with... argh.. i cant say anything in the open... I really want to list some stuff here , but cant.
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That is it right there. Empathy is only developed when one give validity to the statements of the person living with deafness.
 
KristinaB said:
I would just like to understand how I am supposed to be manipulative. I always thought I was being open and honest. I don't ask for people to do things, I don't beg and I don't pamper people, but, then again, since I don't understand the reasoning, I just am heartbroken and at a loss.
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I think it's up to Botts to explain why she's thinking that. Perhaps there's a misunderstanding and it's time to clear things up?
 
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