The Deaf Community

deafskeptic said:
I think it's up to Botts to explain why she's thinking that.
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Then I will never know. I really do respect her and think the world of her, but for some reason, she and I are like oil and water. I'm not sure why. I feel she seems to think that I have an ulterior motive and I don't. I am just trying to learn more about the deaf community and deaf culture and learn ways to deal with my deafness.
 
jillio said:
That is it right there. Empathy is only developed when one give validity to the statements of the person living with deafness.
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Right but the problem is when not everyone that is deaf has the same experiences or feelings. That doesn't preclude me from having empathy based on the experiences that have been shared even if they are not common amongst all deaf people.
 
faire_jour said:
He meant that only using ASL forces hearing people to "come to you" (by learning ASL or by using an interpreter) rather than you learning the mode of 99.9% of the people.
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I don't know a single solitary deaf individual that "only uses ASL.":roll: It may be their predominant language, but they also use English. Just because they don't use the spoken mode does not mean that they are not using two languages.
 
KristinaB said:
I would just like to understand how I am supposed to be manipulative. I always thought I was being open and honest. I don't ask for people to do things, I don't beg and I don't pamper people, but, then again, since I don't understand the reasoning, I just am heartbroken and at a loss.
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I understand. When one makes an accusation such as that, and we feel that it is not in the least accurate, it is upsetting. However, we cannot control other people...we can only control how we react to them.

Just because someone expresses an opinion about you does not mean that it is true. It is simply their singular opinion. Nothing that you need to allow to control where you go and what you say. It is insignificant in the scheme of things. Hang in there, girl. I personally know you to be a stronger person than to allow one person's opinion to cause you to sacrifice your freedom to go where you choose and say what you choose.
 
rockdrummer said:
Right but the problem is when not everyone that is deaf has the same experiences or feelings. That doesn't preclude me from having empathy based on the experiences that have been shared even if they are not common amongst all deaf people.
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Everyone that is hearing, or blind, or Spanish or African American, etc, etc. does not have the same experiences or feelings. It does not make the individual's experience any less valuable.
 
jillio said:
Everyone that is hearing, or blind, or Spanish or African American, etc, etc. does not have the same experiences or feelings. It does not make the individual's experience any less valuable.
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Understood. I never invalidated anyones experience.
 
jillio said:
I understand. When one makes an accusation such as that, and we feel that it is not in the least accurate, it is upsetting. However, we cannot control other people...we can only control how we react to them.

Just because someone expresses an opinion about you does not mean that it is true. It is simply their singular opinion. Nothing that you need to allow to control where you go and what you say. It is insignificant in the scheme of things. Hang in there, girl. I personally know you to be a stronger person than to allow one person's opinion to cause you to sacrifice your freedom to go where you choose and say what you choose.
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Thank you for those kind words. :ty:
 
jillio said:
Some see questioning as to whether the experience was as they say it was as lack of validation.
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Never did that either. All I recall ever saying is that not everyone in the deaf community has expressed the same experiences and even opinions on many aspects of the deaf experience. For me that doesn't invalidate any exclusive experiences or my ability to be empathitic to them. Peace!
 
rockdrummer said:
Never did that either. All I recall ever saying is that not everyone in the deaf community has expressed the same experiences and even opinions on many aspects of the deaf experience. For me that doesn't invalidate any exclusive experiences or my ability to be empathitic to them. Peace!
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Are you referring to this thread alone, or are you including all of your posts on AD?

BTW...I never said you did invalidate an opinion. What I said was that some see questioning their experience as actual is invalidation.

Some also see, in response to an experience, the statement of, "I know people who didin't experience that." to be a statement saying, "Are you sure it was that way?"
 
jillio said:
Are you referring to this thread alone, or are you including all of your posts on AD?

BTW...I never said you did invalidate an opinion. What I said was that some see questioning their experience as actual is invalidation.

Some also see, in response to an experience, the statement of, "I know people who didin't experience that." to be a statement saying, "Are you sure it was that way?"
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That is true.
 
I don't recall ever questioning anyones experience as actual in this or any thread. I have no control over how people "percieve" things and for the record I don't always agree with the perception but I also won't argue the point other than to say to be fair, I have to take all shared expereinces into account. Not just one or a few. None of that precludes me from being empathatic.
 
jillio said:
BTW...I never said you did invalidate an opinion. What I said was that some see questioning their experience as actual is invalidation.

Some also see, in response to an experience, the statement of, "I know people who didin't experience that." to be a statement saying, "Are you sure it was that way?"
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Just like how someone can see, in response to a response, the statement of "Some people here may take that statement in different ways." to be a statement saying, "Some people here either are too dumb to understand or too emotionally biased to take that statement at face value."
 
Wirelessly posted

I think every direct experience represented here is valid and should be factored into our view of the deaf experience. But just as those describing a negative encounter with an orally focused upbringing should be 'heard' so should the many who see their background, whether oral, av, asl, cs, see, tc as positive.





I don't think accepting, understanding, empathizing one or both indicates any invalidation or denial of the other.
 
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GrendelQ said:
Wirelessly posted

I think every direct experience represented here is valid and should be factored into our view of the deaf experience. But just as those describing a negative encounter with an orally focused upbringing should be 'heard' so should the many who see their background, whether oral, av, asl, cs, see, tc as positive

I don't think accepting, understanding, empathizing one or both indicates any invalidation or denial of the other.
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Thats the problem... MORE people see their oral upbring negatively.

Hearing people sees it as more people who grew up oral are happy. Thats what they're led to believe.

I've met easily at least 10,000 deaf people from all upbringings... now you see where I am coming from. There is a pattern, otherwise I wouldn't be saying all this.
 
Daredevel7 said:
Just like how someone can see, in response to a response, the statement of "Some people here may take that statement in different ways." to be a statement saying, "Some people here either are too dumb to understand or too emotionally biased to take that statement at face value."
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Not exactly. We are talking about the way statements serve to invalidate the experience, not a judgement on intelligence or bias.
 
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