Yes. These are just two of the reasons why I have daily struggles with life; the Tourtte's makes it hard to focus, and the medication knocks me out for a LONG time-- it can be 12 hours or more. Just last Saturday I was asleep for nearly 16 or 17 hours, and I'd never slept that long before-- it was a first, but I felt really good, though. However, I still struggle, and now that you understand why I get frustrated easily, I can only educate a little at a time.
Yeah, well. I suppose I could move on, but doing that isn't gonna be easy to do-- it's gonna be hard to forget how rough they had it for me recently. I do not take kindly to that, and I am a soft-hearted person, and people like me who are kind to others do NOT take kindly to being given a rough day or whatever, and I would like to get along with everyone here, but I still haven't made any friends yet, and that'll take time. I just need patience, and focus on other things. I may or may never have friends, and that's okay-- just as long as I have access to here, I'm good.
That's right..... you weren't part of the thread that said "How do you like to personalize your living space". Well, just go and take a look at that, and come back here and tell me. Many people laughed their butts off at MY expense, and least of all, I was way too tired to even realize my mistake. Now, I'm not trying to bash anyone, but I just wish that I could forget what happened that day, and move on, but the way they had a good time and I did not wasn't cool. Plus, I was way too exhausted to even think straight.
Mark, you're describing some problems that suggest a solution to other frustrations you've been having here.
You've mentioned people being rough on you in other threads, and how that's very upsetting for you. You've also mentioned sometimes being too tired to think straight, and that your condition can make it hard to focus. And the meds on top of all that.
For most people in the forum (except anyone you've met in real life) you are what you post. We read what you've written and that's all we have to go on to get a sense of you, and to form our reactions to you. I think you need to sit down and think hard about what you post here.
You've acknowledged that you post a huge, huge amount. You've also acknowledged that you sometimes can't focus (from the tourettes) and sometimes can't think straight (from fatigue), and that your meds can knock you out.
I want to suggest to you that if, at a particular time, you are very tired, or muddy-headed, or feeling upset, that you shouldn't post at those times. This is not just for you. If I am very tired, upset, or muddy-headed, I try not to post during those times either. It would just make it more likely that I post garbage on the forum, or at least posts that aren't going to do me (or anyone else) any good. So during those times I just read. If I find that reading makes me want to respond, I get away from the computer and read something non-interactive, like a book. Or do something else entirely. Push ups. Yoga. Clean my bedroom. Whatever.
There's something else you need to do (IMO), and this one can be a little painful, but I think it's a necessary step for you. You need to realize that there are a whole lot of subjects that you don't know very much about. And some of these subjects, well, you either think you know more than you do, or you don't realize there's anything to know. On top of that, there are lots of people on this forum who *do* know a huge amount about these subjects. So if you start posting and your writing tone takes on a knowledgeable air but the content of what you're saying shows that you don't know what you're talking about, some people are going to be annoyed, even disgusted. I think that's one of the times they come back with the jokes at your expense. I think they're blowing off steam they need to blow off, because you've created some stress for them with the way you make some of those posts.
I'm not saying it's always ok for them to do that. But you can stop prompting it, or prompt it much less, if you stop and think things through a little better. Remind yourself that you often seem to feel like you're more of an expert than you are. Remind yourself that there are times when it's better not to post. If you find yourself unable to think things through very well, that would be one of those times. Honestly, this is true for anyone. I probably post about 1/3 of all the stuff I start to type here. Sometimes I think I've got something really brilliant to say, and I have to stop and say to myself "kid, you could well be the only member of your fan club on this one." One trick I use is that when I want to post something but a little voice in my head tells me it might not be the best idea, I'll type it into a text file, save it, read it later or the next day, and *then* decide if I want to post it.
Another thing, now that you've had some bad experiences here, is to remember those experiences and see if you can start to get an intuitive sense of what type of posting brings the reactions that hurt you. You're about to post something new, or respond to something someone's said. Think about what you're about to say and how you're about to say it. Ask yourself, "How do I think people are going to respond to this?" and "How do I think I'm going to feel about their responses? Will they probably be very upsetting to me?" Not posting those things is just a matter of self-preservation. Really, it's ok to walk away from the machine sometimes.
