Sex Offender's Attacker: 'I Would Do It Again'

[jillio]

We wouldn't have a high amount of abduction numbers of children gone missing even if children knew not to talk to strangers. Just because parents tell their children not to talk to strangers, it doesn't mean they have an idea of what the parents are really talking about. From the child's perspective they might think you're talking about some monster, not people like us. If you attended a family reunion and you meet the other side of your family that you have not met in long time, and your children see you hugging your relatives whom they never seen before, it sends confusing message to the children. You can't expect those children to understand the same as we understand. It's not that simple.

The vast majority of abductions are non-custodial parent abductions. One can hardly consider a non-custodial parent a stranger. That is another whole issue.

If you take the time to explain clearly to your child the difference between a stranger and a friend or family member, they will understand. And you should not just be teaching them about the difference between a stranger and a friend, but also about innappropriate touching, innappropriate requests, and unacceptable behaviors. Such as, saying hello is fine. Accepting candy is not. Getting in a car is not.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

I didn't say it was easy....I said it could be done and was done all the time. A 4 year old should not be in a position of being unsupervised in the presence of strangers. Likewise, it is often necessary to rephrase the concept that you are teaching to make it age appropriate for a 4 year old.

Children can be tought "stranger danger". We've done it with my niece and nephew. They are older now, but they've simply been tought if someone they don't know stops to talk to them, they are to run like hell straight home! Don't fiddle around, just run! It has worked.

I saw this in action just two mos or so ago. The kids were walking to our house from the bus stop when someone my Dad knew stopped and said "hi" to my nephew. He didn't know this person, so he told his sister "Run!" They both ran home and reported to me what had happened. When it all came out, it turned out that it was a friend of Dad's who said hi to the children. They hear so much about the kids and "knew" them, but the children didn't know the guy at all, so they ran away from him.

I must say I was rather proud of my nephew for not only knowing what to do to protect himself, but he also knew to protect his sister, too!

The kids were 6 and 7 yrs old.

 

[jillio]

We have no problem to have children to say Hello or Bye to cashiers because we shop there often, they are not strangers to us.

The children know that they should not talk or take anything from the strangers when they meet at Park or street alone. The children were being taught to go to school with other children together, never go alone or go to school bus together.

Exactly. They will understand if you teach them the things they need to know in an age appropriate way. And you need to teach them what behaviors are acceptable, and what behaviors are not acceptable, not just what a stranger is.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

Thats a good point!

That is a good point, but we need to teach our children that their bodies are there's and NOBODY has the right to touch them; even people they know!

If we tought our kids to be a little less polite, then maybe some of these horrible things won't happen to kids?

 

[jillio]

That is a good point, but we need to teach our children that their bodies are there's and NOBODY has the right to touch them; even people they know!

If we tought our kids to be a little less polite, then maybe some of these horrible things won't happen to kids?

Exactly. Children need to be taught personal safety, and that some behaviors are completely unacceptable in any situation. It is not the stranger we need to worry about. It is the person that has already gained the child's and the parent's trust.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

Exactly. Children need to be taught personal safety, and that some behaviors are completely unacceptable in any situation. It is not the stranger we need to worry about. It is the person that has already gained the child's and the parent's trust.

Yup! I think we need to worry about both, but the person/people we should be most concerned about is the uncle, aunt, grandparent, cousin, father, mother, step-parent, ect. It is more likely that a child is going to be hurt by someone they know, then someone they don't!

 

[jillio]

Children can be tought "stranger danger". We've done it with my niece and nephew. They are older now, but they've simply been tought if someone they don't know stops to talk to them, they are to run like hell straight home! Don't fiddle around, just run! It has worked.

I saw this in action just two mos or so ago. The kids were walking to our house from the bus stop when someone my Dad knew stopped and said "hi" to my nephew. He didn't know this person, so he told his sister "Run!" They both ran home and reported to me what had happened. When it all came out, it turned out that it was a friend of Dad's who said hi to the children. They hear so much about the kids and "knew" them, but the children didn't know the guy at all, so they ran away from him.

I must say I was rather proud of my nephew for not only knowing what to do to protect himself, but he also knew to protect his sister, too!

The kids were 6 and 7 yrs old.

What a great story! You should be very proud of your nepew! He acted very responsibly, and it just goes to show if we teach our children, they will learn. Please let both children know how proud you are of them....it will reinforce the learning and the behavior.

 

[Pepsi]

Do you really think a 3 years old would not say hi when a supermarket cashier says hi to them? There are many young kids who are friendly with everyone, even if you tell them not to talk to strangers. They just don't have the same understanding as most kids who are the age of 6 and up.

That is so true I have a 3 and 5 year old grandsons and they say hi to everyone they see.

 

[Maria]

It's the word " teaching " a parent is responsible for on both issues - strangers and families.

I see no difference in between families and strangers. In my perspective, they both are the same. It doesn't matter, if one is closeness or not. Children has the right to know what's right and what's NOT right on both issues.

I taught my children to learn ASL at the age of 1. So, that means I also can teach them to learn what's right and what's NOT right, if they can learn how to sign in ASL. It requires patience to teach.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

What bugs me is parents are not teaching their children about safetly or what they need to know or who to trust instead they telling them not to speak to strangers at all. Now... here's the problem there was a story about a child who got lost in the woods, there were rescuers looking for him but couldn't find him, even through the child knew they were there but did not go up to them, kept hiding and running away from them because he was taught to be afraid of strangers and not speak to them at all. The child almost died.

Are parents trying to prevent their children from meeting other people even those who wants to help or protect a child? I don't want my children to be afraid to seek help if they do get lost, instead of teaching them not to talk to strangers, we should be teaching them what they really need to know, how to protect themselves and what to do if someone does approach them.

While I do understand that parents are concerned about the safety of their children but I think children needs help learning how to response to strangers and what to do in case something does happen.

Yes, the children are being taught to know the difference and trust their feeling.

Example of all: The children will say no if the stranger tried to seduce them with candies, ride with car or help them to look for puppy in the forest. The children will know that the stranger are not bad when they want to help them to get out of wood...

Did you know that most raped, abused, abandoned and kindnapped etc. are done by family members or others that are very close to the child or parents than by strangers?..

Yes, I aware.

The 2 Police were at parental evening where my hubby & I were attended during my oldest son´s 1st grade. They spread the information and advice how to train our children to know the difference etc. They reassured us about talk to strangers, etc. They told us accord the statistic that there´re high sexual abuse/rape, etc in family members and friends than strangers... Like what I explain above about know the difference between good and bad strangers.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

We wouldn't have a high amount of abduction numbers of children gone missing even if children knew not to talk to strangers. Just because parents tell their children not to talk to strangers, it doesn't mean they have an idea of what the parents are really talking about. From the child's perspective they might think you're talking about some monster, not people like us. If you attended a family reunion and you meet the other side of your family that you have not met in long time, and your children see you hugging your relatives whom they never seen before, it sends confusing message to the children. You can't expect those children to understand the same as we understand. It's not that simple.

Check my response post to Angel...

And response your post about family reunion issues: I prepared my boys what I know about my family or friends, I plan to see them again after long time no see before we meet them. Example about my Dad, we reunioned each other for a first time after 10 years no contact... My Dad met my boys for a first time during reunion, also my school friends as well. It´s no confusing what you think... They prepared to know that I know my famliy & friends before we meet them or we meet accident at somewhere... They saw me them... My boys know automatic that I know them. I introduced my friends to my boys...

 

[Oceanbreeze]

What a great story! You should be very proud of your nepew! He acted very responsibly, and it just goes to show if we teach our children, they will learn. Please let both children know how proud you are of them....it will reinforce the learning and the behavior.

Oh, I absolutely did! They really didn't know the guy and it scared my niece a little bit. The guy was a friend of my Dad's. Once he heard the story, he understood why the children ran. It was an innocent situation, but what if it hadn't been?

I was and still am very proud of both the kids! Their parents were also told how well they reacted, so yeah.. Both kids thought they had died and went to Heaven that day!

Incidently, my nephew turned 8 June 12th. My niece will be 7 in Sept.

 

[jillio]

It's the word " teaching " a parent is responsible for on both issues - strangers and families.

I see no difference in between families and strangers. In my perspective, they both are the same. It doesn't matter, if one is closeness or not. Children has the right to know what's right and what's NOT right on both issues.

I taught my children to learn ASL at the age of 1. So, that means I also can teach them to learn what's right and what's NOT right, if they can learn how to sign in ASL. It requires patience to teach.

And you are so right. Kids need to know that not even a family member has the right to act innapropriately towards them.

 

[jillio]

Oh, I absolutely did! They really didn't know the guy and it scared my niece a little bit. The guy was a friend of my Dad's. Once he heard the story, he understood why the children ran. It was an innocent situation, but what if it hadn't been?

I was and still am very proud of both the kids! Their parents were also told how well they reacted, so yeah.. Both kids thought they had died and went to Heaven that day!

Incidently, my nephew turned 8 June 12th. My niece will be 7 in Sept.

They deserved to be praised for a day! They must be wonderful kids. Think how much more scared your niece would have been if her big bother hadn't been there to help protect her. I bet she thinks the sun rises and sets on him!

 

[Oceanbreeze]

They deserved to be praised for a day! They must be wonderful kids. Think how much more scared your niece would have been if her big bother hadn't been there to help protect her. I bet she thinks the sun rises and sets on him!

Not really. She thinks she can kick his butt! But, both kids are very self assured. I think what this illustrates is empowerment. We need to empower our kids. If we did that, I truly believe we'd have less abuse in this country, and that goes for any situation. Not just the "stranger danger" that gets the most attention in this country.

 

[jillio]

Not really. She thinks she can kick his butt! But, both kids are very self assured. I think what this illustrates is empowerment. We need to empower our kids. If we did that, I truly believe we'd have less abuse in this country, and that goes for any situation. Not just the "stranger danger" that gets the most attention in this country.

LOL! My kind of girl!

And I totally agree with you on the issue of empowerment.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

It's the word " teaching " a parent is responsible for on both issues - strangers and families.

I see no difference in between families and strangers. In my perspective, they both are the same. It doesn't matter, if one is closeness or not. Children has the right to know what's right and what's NOT right on both issues.

I taught my children to learn ASL at the age of 1. So, that means I also can teach them to learn what's right and what's NOT right, if they can learn how to sign in ASL. It requires patience to teach.

Yes, that's right.

 

[Cheri]

It's the word " teaching " a parent is responsible for on both issues - strangers and families.

It's not about the teaching, it's about how well can a child understands what you're really talking about. As I've said for the third time, It's not that simple.

If you have seen a clip on American Most Wanted where John Walsh had an expert who had proved those parents that children sees good in friendly people, even strangers can be friendly. They gave those children a test who were aware not to talk to strangers, some of those children went with the strangers, some of them did not. John Walsh had created a DVD for children to watch and get the understanding of how to keep themselves safe. It's called "The Safe Side".

 

[Maria]

It's not about the teaching, it's about how well can a child understands what you're really talking about. As I've said for the third time, It's not that simple.

If you have seen a clip on American Most Wanted where John Walsh had an expert who had proved those parents that children sees good in friendly people, even strangers can be friendly. They gave those children a test who were aware not to talk to strangers, some of those children went with the strangers, some of them did not. John Walsh had created a DVD for children to watch and get the understanding of how to keep themselves safe. It's called "The Safe Side".

".....for children to WATCH and get the UNDERSTANDING of how to keep themselves safe ".

WATCH = the DVD teaches how to keep themselves safe.
UNDERSTANDING = learn

Same thing. It's STILL a parent's responsible to TEACH... not just DVD that John Walsh created for children.

 

[Cheri]

".....for children to WATCH and get the UNDERSTANDING of how to keep themselves safe ".

WATCH = the DVD teaches how to keep themselves safe.
UNDERSTANDING = learn

Same thing. It's STILL a parent's responsible to TEACH... not just DVD that John Walsh created for children.

What's with the caps? Let's just have a civil debate please?

Have you seen the DVD? It's easy for children to understand because it catch children's attention better than parents instructions, it helps children to be able to understand the difference between strangers and people that children can trust.