Hello all. I ran across this website, and this thread specifically by accident while I was looking something else up, and decided to read through the majority of it. I can't say I recall all of it, as it is a long thread, but I thought that I would share my story with you in hopes that it might help spur some different feelings about this.
I am a registered sex offender in Michigan. I'm 26 years old. I was 20 at the time of the offense. When I was 20, I had intercourse with a 15 year old girl. She was a friend of my younger sisters, and was at the house alot. I had never done anything like this before, and I have not since then. It wasn't about her age, but I liked her. Was it wrong? Absolutely. Was it violent? No, not at all. It was consensual, and I cared for her, right or wrong, that was how I felt. That does not make me a pedophile, and it does not make me dangerous to anyone. I served a year in jail, had extensive fines, and spent 2 years in a Mandatory Sex Offender class, as well as 3 years of probation. I completed all of this flawlessly, and since the day this happened, I have not had so much as a speeding ticket. (it's been almost 7 years now)
I am now engaged to a 22 year old woman with a 3 year old son. I'm currently unemployed because with the mixture of Michigan having the highest unemployment in the country. and me having the felony that I do, it's been next to impossible for me to find work.
The reason I told my story first, was for what I have to say next. I am not a defender of Sex Offenders, firstly. Quite the contrary, I believe that certain Sex Offenders can be a danger to our youth. I also think Murders as well, but I see no list for them.
I read alot of the posts on this thread. Not all of them, but the majority, and some of the things I read made me quite sad. Firstly, I want to say that there are always two sides to any story. There is also hugely varying degrees among sex offenders. Therein likes the biggest flaw of the Sex Offender registry. There is no seperation. I recently read an article about a 15 year old and a 17 year old that were both added to the registry for sending sexual text messages to each other. Can you honestly tell me that belongs in the same category as someone who rapes their boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband or anyone else. Or someone that sits outside of schoolyards preying on young children. I certainly hope not. I'm not saying there should be no registry. I'm saying that there should be more information availiable, and seperate tiers. As it stands right now, men or women that get drunk and decide, however wrongly, to urinate outside, often have thier pictures and information directly next to someone who makes a living out of taking advantage of children.
It also doesn't help that our media today sensationalizes Sex Offenses. They show you the worst of the worst to scare you and to boost ratings. The truth is, the registry isn't full of these. They exist, absolutely, and you should be aware of them, and they SHOULD be kept an eye on. but as I read these posts, I saw comments on how every single person on the registry should be gps tagged like a car, or forced to live on an island. I think that is not only incredibly hateful, but also a totally reactionary and uncalled for stance. Afterall, Jail/prison, fines, classes, probation were all created for two things. Punishment and Rehabilitation. Were they not? Most of our society is perfectly acceptable when it comes to believing that liars, cheats and thieves can be rehabilitated, so why not us? What I did was wrong, and not only have I payed my dues to society through my punishment, but I have also tried to live my life since then as a good person, as someone who, with time, could be accepted back into society. I also feel terribly guilty for what I did, and not because I was caught, but because thats the type of person I am. I made a mistake. but life is not defined by one mistake, life is defined by the collective choices and mistakes we make, and shouldn't a person who makes a mistake, and does his best and never commits it again, be given a second chance? I certainly hope so.
As I said, I'm no Sex Offender defender. and I also completely agree that certain offenders SHOULD be tracked, and people should be aware of their presence, but I think that in the mayhem and bruhaha of Sex Offenses in this country, a great many many people who simply made mistakes, or did something of a lesser degree, get caught up in the Hatred....and I think we have enough hatred in this world to go around.
I imagine many of you will probably won't even get to this point. You may just see that I said "I'm a sex offender" and not have gotten past that point, but for those of you that did, I appreciate it. I could have left all of that out, and simply posted my opinion, but I didn't because I feel that maybe it will have more merit, and perhaps that it will help to see the other side of things.
Thank you for reading.
