Self-Esteem vs low self-esteem

[Momoftwo]

Divorced is one of the saddest, worst one. There are too many people who got divorced. Yes, God is angry about divorced. There are so many reasons why they got divorced. (cheating, affair, too stubborn, won't change for better, money, won't agree with a spouse over discipline on children, etc, etc) If you really care about the marriage and you have a problem with your spouse, then they have to work on it very hard..something that you have to give up, try to change for better, etc). If someone who beats his/her spouse very, very badly, then it is ok to divorce because God does not want this person to get phyiscal abuse.

In 2 years ago, my daughter had about 20 students in her class and ALL of her classmates' parents are divorced!!!!! I asked the teacher privately to find out if that was true and the teacher said yes. The teacher told me that their parents' divorces really affected their children - very angry, very sad, emotional, etc. That's why divorce is NOT good. Divorce is a very serious one.

Abortion is terrible. If you had an abortion in the past, you have to ask God to forgive you and no more!! I mean no more to have another abortion. When you had abortion once and you learned your mistake, that's your lesson and don't go for another abortion.

That's why we are not perfect so God wants us to follow His ways - NOT the satan's ways!!!!

Momoftwo

 

[Audiofuzzy]

>>>Forgive them for they do not know what to do<<<

No, actually Jesus said something diffrent:


"Father, forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing"

""Yes, God is angry about divorced.""

""If someone who beats his/her spouse very, very badly, then it is ok to divorce because God does not want this person to get phyiscal abuse.""

lolol..
looks to me like we have our own notions what God likes and doesn't like...

BTW isn't if funny how we started with self -esteem, and ended up with religion and divorce... amazing..

 

[Angel]

>>>Forgive them for they do not know what to do<<<

No, actually Jesus said something diffrent:


"Father, forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing"

You're right, Jesus did said that....

 

[Maria]

>>>Forgive them for they do not know what to do<<<

No, actually Jesus said something diffrent:


"Father, forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing"

""Yes, God is angry about divorced.""

""If someone who beats his/her spouse very, very badly, then it is ok to divorce because God does not want this person to get phyiscal abuse.""

lolol..
looks to me like we have our own notions what God likes and doesn't like...

BTW isn't if funny how we started with self -esteem, and ended up with religion and divorce... amazing..

Speakin' of what Jesus said... yes, you are correct. That's what Jesus said before He died. Thanks for typin' them what Jesus exactly said. lol
You save my time. Heh

 

[Maria]

Thank you for explainin' what your strongly belief is.
Yes, I understand about respectin' people for their different beliefs, but I still feel that it's my duty to spread the gospel when Jesus commanded us to do. It doesn't mean that I shove the bible down in their throats like for some people would think. It's just that I like to tell it until they tell me that they don't want to hear about it...then, I will stop and move on to elsewhere. ( You sow what you reap - that's another famous quote ). If, they like to discuss and learn, then I will continue to share and discuss together. I don't want them to think about ME, sayin' like my "religion" is better than theirs or whatever their religion is. All I want them to think about JESUS and how HE died for them and that HE loves them so much. He would love to have relationship with them personally. That's all there's to it - and, have them to chose their own church whichever is more comfortable for them to attend.

I grew up in Catholic church with my biological parents - in New York City where I was born from. From there, I attended a private school ( Catholic ) for a few years until my parents divorced ... I was like probably about 5 years old. And, after that we moved to Fresno, California - changed to different church after my mother remarried to my step-father. Protestant. I grew up attendin' to that church with my family for 8 years. My step-father WAS President of Mau Maus Gang in New York City and God changed his life after he was slammed in prision for manslaughter. His sentence was reduced after he accepted Jesus Christ as his personal Saviour. God moved in his life. My step-father became a minister after he got out of jail. David Wilkerson was the one who won my step-father's soul to Christ. Nicky Cruz was my step-father's best pal and he was Vice President. Nicky Cruz still preached and worked on helpin' with troubled teens in North Carolina state. The book called "The Cross and the Switchblade" - both of my step-father and Nicky Cruz were in that book to tell their story. My step-father wrote a book "Second Chance" - my siblings and I were in that book ( small details ).

I would love to tell more, but I am afraid it will go off topic since Vampy said to stick with the topic what Lieblin' want all of us to discuss about "self-esteem/low self-esteem" ... Gee - Lieblin', I apologized again. *smh at myself* lol I just want to share it with Cookie Monster and for her to get to know me a little bit...and errr umm YOU, too.

CM ! You have a great day and stay your true love to Chris.

 

[Cookie Monster]

Wow, what a great entry! Thanks for sharing it, CR!

Sorry for OT'ing Liebling, my apologies!!

We'll go to AIM/PMland and continue there!!

 

[Peachy Lady]

Thank you for explainin' what your strongly belief is.
Yes, I understand about respectin' people for their different beliefs, but I still feel that it's my duty to spread the gospel when Jesus commanded us to do. It doesn't mean that I shove the bible down in their throats like for some people would think. It's just that I like to tell it until they tell me that they don't want to hear about it...then, I will stop and move on to elsewhere. ( You sow what you reap - that's another famous quote ). If, they like to discuss and learn, then I will continue to share and discuss together. I don't want them to think about ME, sayin' like my "religion" is better than theirs or whatever their religion is. All I want them to think about JESUS and how HE died for them and that HE loves them so much. He would love to have relationship with them personally. That's all there's to it - and, have them to chose their own church whichever is more comfortable for them to attend.

I grew up in Catholic church with my biological parents - in New York City where I was born from. From there, I attended a private school ( Catholic ) for a few years until my parents divorced ... I was like probably about 5 years old. And, after that we moved to Fresno, California - changed to different church after my mother remarried to my step-father. Protestant. I grew up attendin' to that church with my family for 8 years. My step-father WAS President of Mau Maus Gang in New York City and God changed his life after he was slammed in prision for manslaughter. His sentence was reduced after he accepted Jesus Christ as his personal Saviour. God moved in his life. My step-father became a minister after he got out of jail. David Wilkerson was the one who won my step-father's soul to Christ. Nicky Cruz was my step-father's best pal and he was Vice President. Nicky Cruz still preached and worked on helpin' with troubled teens in North Carolina state. The book called "The Cross and the Switchblade" - both of my step-father and Nicky Cruz were in that book to tell their story. My step-father wrote a book "Second Chance" - my siblings and I were in that book ( small details ).

I would love to tell more, but I am afraid it will go off topic since Vampy said to stick with the topic what Lieblin' want all of us to discuss about "self-esteem/low self-esteem" ... Gee - Lieblin', I apologized again. *smh at myself* lol I just want to share it with Cookie Monster and for her to get to know me a little bit...and errr umm YOU, too.

CM ! You have a great day and stay your true love to Chris.

Wow that was very intersteing, CR! It shows that anyone can accept Jesus, even if they were in gang or commited serious sins, and so on. Praise the Lord! I would like to hear more about the rest, but perhaps in other thread?

 

[Maria]

Ok, since PeachyLady would like for me to create a thread.... what the name of the topic I should type for the thread ? Any idea ?

Of course, CM would love to read, too. *chuckles* You are already involved and help me, too.

Thank you.

( I will leave that up to you folks to think of the name while I need to run some errands around here -- thanks ! )

 

[Peachy Lady]

Ok, since PeachyLady would like for me to create a thread.... what the name of the topic I should type for the thread ? Any idea ?

Of course, CM would love to read, too. *chuckles* You are already involved and help me, too.

Thank you.

( I will leave that up to you folks to think of the name while I need to run some errands around here -- thanks ! )

Oh I don't know...you said you would like to say more. What would that part be about, your step-dad and his book, "Second Chance"? I would like to read more about your step-dad, how he wrote the book, how his life changed, as well as how it affected your life spiritually. The new thread title depends on what topic you will mostly be talking about. How about copy paste what you posted into new thread and go from there?

 

[Maria]

Yep, I just done it. It's in "Spiritual" forum. I also sent a PM to Vampy to request to remove a double thread that I accidently click a button. Hope that he will respond soon.

Will tell more in my new thread tonight. I am cookin' a dinner.

 

[Maria]

My mother's self-esteem

When she remarried to my step-father ( Israel ), she gave birth of 2 beautiful daughters to him. They were married for over 20 years until my mother divorced him in 1986.
Israel and my other 2 siblin' came to visit me in that followin' year when I lived in East Wenatchee, WA to tell me about what happened. I was shocked to hear about their divorce. I was only 26 years old when that happened.

From what Israel told me about my mother - she choses to divorce him, because she wanted to go out and have a good time ( dance ). Israel wanted to settle down and spend quality time with his family - his own children. They both were in their 40's.

My mother and I are not very close. I was my biological father's girl ( Daddy's girl ). He died in 1990's due to pneumonia and PLUS heavy smokin'. I miss him soo much but, I am very grateful that I got a chance to see him after 25 years later right before he died. Long story.... will tell about it later.

Israel told my siblings about my experience when he first came in the kitchen. I was 18 years old at that time and still in high school. He explained to my siblings that I saw my mother's "black" soul in her. I was terrified. I covered my face with my hands when I turned my head away from her. Her soul was exposed very clear as crystal. God opened my eyes to see it. My siblings asked me questions about it and I told them that it was true. They were silent and said nuthin'. Just surprised and speechless, because they haven't experienced God themselves to see things.
That's God's Answer to Israel's prayer when I told him about it.

My mother is still in dark today. I never heard her talkin' about Jesus in my life, except Israel. Israel and I talked about God - only small talks. He prayed for me and my siblings for years, hopin' that one day either one of us siblin' will find Jesus. I found Jesus - my other siblings haven't found Him yet.

Self-esteem is very dangerous - you see, my mother wants this world - not Jesus. Her soul was in black - dark pitch black like this ---> BLACK.
It scared me, because I couldn't find her ANYWHERE in her soul at the same time I knew she was there in front of me. My talk was FREEZE so were my thoughts. Stutterin'... S-t-u-t-t-e-r-i-n'.

She wanted divorce. She wanted everythin' in HER own way without thinkin' of the family. If, she accepts Jesus in HER heart, she will be a different person for sure. She will be more lovin', sweet, kindness, keepin' in touch often, and all the goods. But, no - she don't have all that in HER heart, no Jesus. It was why I cried for her after I was shocked seein' her soul like this. I only have ONE mother.

This world is very UN-forgivin' world. It's why this world need Jesus. Jesus is Forgiver. This world is sick and need medication to get well. Jesus is the medication. This world needs love. Jesus is LOVE.

Lieblin' .........

 

[Momoftwo]

Hi CyberRed

Wow!! This is a VERY powerful one!! I'm speechless!! Thank you so much for sharing your very personal experiences with us all. Jesus NEEDS you to educate others about self-esteem. No wonder that you really UNDERSTOOD what self-esteem really means. I got it!! Jesus knows that you tried to help people in this message board to understand what self-esteem really means. Christ-esteem is the right word. You are an inspirational (spell?).

I know how much it really hurts you about your mother. I'll pray for your mother to find Jesus real soon!!

Thanks again so much for your powerful experiences!!!!!

Warm Regards,
Momoftwo

 

[Audiofuzzy]

>>>From what Israel told me about my mother - she choses to divorce him, because she wanted to go out and have a good time ( dance ). <<>


Excuse me, byt what's wrong with liking to go out and dance? and what does it have to do with self- esteem?
(nothing).

why forcing someone to stay home all the time and pray is a good thing?

Fuzzy

 

[Maria]

>>>From what Israel told me about my mother - she choses to divorce him, because she wanted to go out and have a good time ( dance ). <<>


Excuse me, byt what's wrong with liking to go out and dance? and what does it have to do with self- esteem?
(nothing).

why forcing someone to stay home all the time and pray is a good thing?

Fuzzy

Ok, for example : What would you say if your mother wear a bathin' suit that reveals her bare hips at the age of 50 ? How about showin' her butt when wearin' a thong ? Hmm ?

 

[Audiofuzzy]

>>>I got it!! Jesus knows that you tried to help people in this message board to understand what self-esteem really means. Christ-esteem is the right word.<<<


I am not sure if BOTH of you are getting what is self -esteem.
Self esteem is simply like type of measurement.
MEASUREMENT. Of how we feel about ourselves, what we think we are worth in our own eyes:

~ a feeling of self-respect and personal worth
~ Self-Esteem could be defined as: What our unconscious believes to be true about how worthy, lovable, valuable and capable we are.

(we ARE! not how we do to others!)

~ a self- respect - a proper respect for oneself as a human being

I don't know how to explain it better....


But self -esteem is not being religious and following in Jesus' steps, nor is accepting him a self esteem..

In your own link CR it says:

""My answer is that good self-esteem is proper for the Christian, and that, in fact, it is necessary that the Christian have a high self-esteem. ""

I am afraid you keep confusing simple lingustic defintions with being spiritual.

Fuzzy

 

[Audiofuzzy]

>>>Ok, for example : What would you say if your mother wear a bathin' suit that reveals her bare hips at the age of 50 ? How about showin' her butt when wearin' a thong ? Hmm ? <<<<

you gotta be kidding me!!!!!
is that what is imprtant to you as a Christian?? girl they are people dying of hunger all over the world, even at your own street I am sure someone is hungry.
And you care about silly flabs of flesh of silly old goat??

sheesh.

Fuzzy

ps I would tell her the truth- sorry, you look sad and pathetic (unless she really look good )

 

[Maria]

>>>I got it!! Jesus knows that you tried to help people in this message board to understand what self-esteem really means. Christ-esteem is the right word.<<<


I am not sure if BOTH of you are getting what is self -esteem.
Self esteem is simply like type of measurement.
MEASUREMENT. Of how we feel about ourselves, what we think we are worth in our own eyes:

~ a feeling of self-respect and personal worth
~ Self-Esteem could be defined as: What our unconscious believes to be true about how worthy, lovable, valuable and capable we are.

(we ARE! not how we do to others!)

~ a self- respect - a proper respect for oneself as a human being

I don't know how to explain it better....


But self -esteem is not being religious and following in Jesus' steps, nor is accepting him a self esteem..

In your own link CR it says:

""My answer is that good self-esteem is proper for the Christian, and that, in fact, it is necessary that the Christian have a high self-esteem. ""

I am afraid you keep confusing simple lingustic defintions with being spiritual.

Fuzzy

Honey,

Remember, every person's perspective is different. I see different from other's. Can't change that. *chuckles* Every person is unique !

 

[Maria]

>>>Ok, for example : What would you say if your mother wear a bathin' suit that reveals her bare hips at the age of 50 ? How about showin' her butt when wearin' a thong ? Hmm ? <<<<

you gotta be kidding me!!!!!
is that what is imprtant to you as a Christian?? girl they are people dying of hunger all over the world, even at your own street I am sure someone is hungry.
And you care about silly flabs of flesh of silly old goat??

sheesh.

Fuzzy

ps I would tell her the truth- sorry, you look sad and pathetic (unless she really look good )

No, I am not kiddin' you. I would go for the hungry people, because I feel sorry for them - but for someone who wears like that as I've just mentioned earlier.. Gee - it embarrased /humiliated me and I couldn't come forward to hang around her. The feelin' is bein' drawn away from that comparin' to the hungry people is a BIG different. I can't help it, but that is what I feel.

 

[Audiofuzzy]

Gee - it embarrased /humiliated me and I couldn't come forward to hang around her.

Well, maybe you have low self esteem and you don't have enough faith in yourself to stand next to a "questionable" person and be assured of your own worth.

>>>From what Israel told me about my mother - she choses to divorce him, because she wanted to go out and have a good time ( dance ). Israel wanted to settle down and spend quality time with his family - his own children.<<<

Have you heard your mother's side, directly from your mother?

And I am sorry, but if this is how Israel is telling this story I don't buy it, he is painting himself a saint and your mother as a... a questionable character, to say the least. That is suspicious in itself, not very well reflecting on Israel intentions.

Excuse me but I happen to be in late 40 almost 50ties and would I like to go out and dance, If I wished to wear a thong and two piece revealing bathing suit, it's MY BUSINESS.
Who is anybody who dares to judge me by the way I am dressed?

Wasn't it Christ who said "he who is without sin, let him cast the first stone" or something to that matter.

And word of advice - see past the cover. You don't judge a book by it's cover nor should you people, either.

Besides, form what Israel says it's clear to me your mother could have been simply vivacious, energetic person who loved people and life and she simply wanted to go out and have fun.
perhaps she wanted to share this fun with her husband unfortunately Israel was a hopeless bore who liked just but to sit on his butt and read the Bible 24/7 not paying any attention to his wife's needs..

Remember this, Cyber Red- there is ALWAYS two sides to the story.
A woman will NOT let go of a GOOD man.
(nor will man let go of GOOD woman, for that matter)

They could simply happned to be a bad match, a domestic man and an outgoing woman.

I think I would too be bored to death and feel lonely and neglected with a man who would constantly preach to me about Jesus and wanted me to stay me home with no life of my own. What about MY needs?, whatever they could be?



As for your mother wearing revealing clothes there could be a few explanations. The most obvious that come to mind-
1. this is her desperate way to grab an attention to her, which indicates she may be feeling unloved, negected and doesn't not know how else to say " Look at me, I'm here!"

2. she has high self-esteem and she is confident enough not to worry what people think about her.

And now, I am asking you CR what or how would you feel if Mother Theresa was wearing such clothes in her free time as your mom, or what if John Paul II was wearing studded leather and a nose ring? and they would be exactly the same people morally and socially as they were.

once again:
>>Gee - it embarrased /humiliated me and I couldn't come forward to hang around her. <<

gee, I would be sad and devastated to have daughter who was emabarrased of her own mother. If my own mother was like that I would protect her from everyone, and would fight nail and tooth to keep her safe and feeling loved.

Fuzzy

 

[Maria]

Very interestin' to see how you think these things this way. I grew up livin' with them and I know my parents VERY WELL.

Since you judge my stepfather over my mother - it's best to close this discussion, because you THINK that I have low self esteem. My life is good. I have my own home that I remodel. My mind is carefree without worryin' about things. I just enjoy my life around here. I have my own 2 dogs -- that I really enjoy playin' with them outside. I have good Christian friends. I just got home from Pampered Chef party - I had a good time with my friends. I have no problem. Just be myself. It doesn't mean that I have HIGH self esteem, either - in despite of what it means to you.

I still love my parents very much in despite of our difference.

Thank you for discussin' this with me. I am sorry that our perspective/POV/opinions are different, but it is good to know each other anyways.

By the way, are you a female ?