Restraining order against legal age boyfriend for minor daughter

[Liebling:-)))]

Parents can also call and report it too, Makes no differences, As I remember they asked my dad if he would like to press charge, because I refused to press charge, I begged my dad not to, but again, My dad said the only way he wouldn't pressed charge, only if the boyfriend would end the relationship with me. He did, just to avoid going to jail.

I like what your Dad did because he doing out of his love for you. I would do the same as your Dad if it happened to my sons. I would get RO if girl didn´t leave my sons alone.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Then you see why we were trying to tell you that it is the teenaged girls who go through the most difficult times.

Yes I know.

We all know that different sex children have different issues but we are here to talk about treat our different sex children equal which mean is treat them same, teach them positive things, love, attention, protect, etc. I know Fuzzy kept on talk about different sex children have different problems but we talk about treat our different sex children equal. Fuzzy and I talked differently. OF COURSE we all know that different sex children have different issues/problems/interest.

Again, yes, we know.

I beleive that I said in my previous posts that I would make sure that my daughter is on birth control pill to prevent from being teen. mother. I know I don´t have a daughter but sons. I would make sure the same about my sons to get condom, no matter either girl is on pill or not but sex protection against diease... I teach my boys about sex responsible and let them know that the sex is not the fun for anyone.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

""WHAT IF Tracy's mother got restraining order against Tracy's boyfriend?""

Just answer the question please, do not compare, analyze, explain-
JUST PLEASE ANSWER. Then you will KNOW.

No, Mookie provided about Tracy´s story has nothing do with my thread because there´re no RO issues in Tracy´s story. We didn´t know what sort of personatily Tracy´s boyfriend has before they married. I can´t answer to this question because I don´t know Tracy´s story. I talk about FACT, not EXAMPLE... Got it?

I am horrified. Do you realise what you just wrote? Basically that the BF forbid the girl to see her Grandma and let her go only when his mother CONVINCED him to let her go.. Got it??? do you realise what does that mean??

Daughter and boyfriend are still together over 16 months after this situation. They are happy. What´s your problem? Daughter would finish with him if he keep on control, abuse, etc on her... Mother let daughter to learn her experience what good or bad... but it´s good for mother to let her daughter know what she think of her boyfriend.

I would suggest mother to suggest her daughter and boyfriend to live together to find out either they are right each other or not because it´s better than divorce... I am sure that daughter will thank her mother for offer her suggestion to find out the true color about boyfriend. A lot of Germans live together for few years before they married because they know marriage is a big step that why they rather live together first to get know each other then........ I would suggest my son to live together with girl whom I don´t like. Let them to learn their own experience.

So, would you let your 16 old daughter drop off school, risk get pregnant and marry an abusive bum because that is HER choice?

Huh? Never mind!

I am sorry but to me it looks like you still do not understand fully.

No, you don´t understand me fully! RE-READ title of my thread. You talk about EXAMPLE and I talk about FACT.

Mookie post was NOT illogical and all I wanted to do was explain THAT.. sigh I give up..

Yes illogical because Tracy is not minor when she met her boyfriend or no RO issues in Tracy´s story. I talk about FACT! I answered few links, Mookie provided here because they are FACT and relate on my thread about RO issues.

BTW you keep saying Liebling that abusers do not show their true face until they are married or something.

I withnessed everything before and after marriage between my mother and step-dad, not you.

Well I watched a lot of shows on the subject with psychologists explaining warning signs, and also read a bit on the subject.
The signs are always there, but you have to know them.
In this story of the mother with 16 y.o there are too only you need to pay attention.

Another problem is the whole family of the girl was dysfunctional, and even if the mother was right about not trusting the boyfriend of course her daughter was against her anyway.
But that is another story.

For your information, I study psychology issues since 1992 and know type of personalities the people have. I focus them. During study, my horrible memory about childhood bring back to me and consider step-dad´s background and what´s personailtiy he has.

I can´t see the sense why anyone make big and paraniod over that one mistake or past... Remember, everyone including me made our mistakes in the past but they correct their mistakes which good. Yes warning signs would show if they repeat their mistakes BUT BIG MAINLY IMPORTANT, I worried about is verbally abuse, physical abuse. If I see boyfriend abuse daughter verbally/physical then is WARNING SIGN... because verbally/physical abuse stay REPEAT after abuse verbally/physical once.

Fuzzy

Again, verbally/physical abuse is mainly, I worry about, not harmless things like few years difference ages, mistakes, etc. I don´t run to police to get RO because I don´t like girl, my son is serious with but talk my son and let him know what I think of his girl. (See my previous posts)

 

[Cheri]

Oh really?

What if mother of Tracy wants to protect her daughter's life from Buck Thurman.

First of all Tracy was not a minor at the time of marrying Buck Thurman. She was 30 years old, She married immediately after graduating from college. It has to be her (Tracy) to be the one to file a RO on Buck which she did. It would be out of Tracy's mother's control. This thread is related to a minor RO, not an adult.

 

[Opal]

Interesting!

Do you consider 15 or 16 years old as child, not teenager? How do you feel when your mother get RO to keep away from your 20 years old boyfriend whom you love because your mother think you are too young and think boyfriend is a pedophile?

Of course my Grandma taught me what right or wrong and then let me focus my experience, that´s how I learn to improve my own mistakes instead of run to get RO. Thank God, they doesn´t do that to me. I´m glad that my Grandparents and parents are open mind when I brought few of my boyfriends I was serious with, to meet them. It shows that they trust me.

This thread is all about 15 years old girl only.

To me - 15 years old girl is still a child - not a woman, just a half way (teenager). End of the day, this 15 years old girl still need her parent/Guardian's permission to give their approval.

16 year old girls still need parent/guardian's permission until 18, except on very few grounds - eg smoking a cigarette, driving a car, get married with paren'ts permission, old enough to have sex, leaving home, or quit school.

16 years old dating to a 20 years old man is ok - police won't press charge in my two countries.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

This thread is all about 15 years old girl only.

No, 16 years old daughter is from my link, not 15 years old. 16 years old daughter and 18 years old boyfriend. Now she is 17 years old and he is 19 years old.

To me - 15 years old girl is still a child - not a woman, just a half way (teenager). End of the day, this 15 years old girl still need her parent/Guardian's permission to give their approval.

16 year old girls still need parent/guardian's permission until 18, except on very few grounds - eg smoking a cigarette, driving a car, get married with paren'ts permission, old enough to have sex, leaving home, or quit school.

Yes everyone knows that our children are our responsible until they are 18 years old.

Depend on teenager´s maturity.

I look at my teenage son... child? I do not consider my son as my child but young adult due his maturity. Yes I know my son is a teenager and still is my resonsible. Trust and bond relationship is mainly important to me.

16 years old dating to a 20 years old man is ok - police won't press charge in my two countries.

Yes, I know but you can image when you live in America. We talk about age legal where I provide is in America, not our countries. My 17 years old Mom met my 24 years old Dad and fall in pregnant with me. I can image what if my parents are in America. My Dad would arrest for statutory rape. Thank God, my mom´s Grandparents are understanding people and support my mom and Dad when they had me.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

First of all Tracy was not a minor at the time of marrying Buck Thurman. She was 30 years old, She married immediately after graduating from college. It has to be her (Tracy) to be the one to file a RO on Buck which she did. It would be out of Tracy's mother's control. This thread is related to a minor RO, not an adult.

Thank you for convince Mookie!

See, FuzzyAudio!!!!!

 

[Opal]

One day, children will tell CPS everythin' about their parents what's goin' on in the house/ or about their religion children hate. And, even school teachers could tell the students that they are free to express their feelin' by tellin' them about their parents and, how they treat them ( students ). If, anythin' that goes wrong -- they could arrest the parents with lots of confused.

My divorced friend let her then-13 years old daughter to have tongue pieced, nose pieced, six ear pieced, naval pieced, and drinking alcohlic at her house, until she is stone drunk.

Now she is 14 years old, having sex with boys, and her Mother give her birth control pills, heavy smoking and recently smoke marjunania drugs, her deaf Mother buy cigarette for her out of her part time job, and she lost lots of weight as a result, and my daughter asking her how she lost her kilos, - she said she throw up after trying to smoke marjunania.

This Mother gave her daughter tooooooo much freedom, I feel its because she is playing games against her ex husband, as she was so upset that her only daughter went to live with her ex for a short spell to be with her brother at dad's, and realised she don't like him because he is fair and square - he believe in disciplines. Too much strict for her she decided, she moved back to her Mother's "freedom and no rules house". I met him and he told me he thinks his daughter is a slut. Awful to hear from him I must say.

Until last week a Co-ordinator teacher observed her and decided to have a good talk with her because she had too many school detentions, he is not impressed with her Mother let her to have everything, she don't know how to obey and respect school rules - and it would be interesting to see what happen to them soon or later. Not my problem!!

 

[Liebling:-)))]

My divorced friend let her then-13 years old daughter to have tongue pieced, nose pieced, six ear pieced, naval pieced, and drinking alcohlic at her house, until she is stone drunk.

Now she is 14 years old, having sex with boys, and her Mother give her birth control pills, heavy smoking and recently smoke marjunania drugs, her deaf Mother buy cigarette for her out of her part time job, and she lost lots of weight as a result, and my daughter asking her how she lost her kilos, - she said she throw up after trying to smoke marjunania.

This Mother gave her daughter tooooooo much freedom, I feel its because she is playing games against her ex husband, as she was so upset that her only daughter went to live with her ex for a short spell to be with her brother at dad's, and realised she don't like him because he is fair and square - he believe in disciplines. Too much strict for her she decided, she moved back to her Mother's "freedom and no rules house". I met him and he told me he thinks his daughter is a slut. Awful to hear from him I must say.

Until last week a Co-ordinator teacher observed her and decided to have a good talk with her because she had too many school detentions, he is not impressed with her Mother let her to have everything, she don't know how to obey and respect school rules - and it would be interesting to see what happen to them soon or later. Not my problem!!

wow! I feel sorry for daughter because she don´t know what right or wrong because mother never teach positive things to her... Positive discipline is important like what I answered Angel´s post yesterday. It sound that mother neglect daugher to think herself... Sad!

But too extreme strict or threat doesn´t solve anything but make teenager wild... like what CyberRed said.

Positive discipline what I said in my previous posts and also answer Angel´s post as well.

 

[Opal]

Yes, I know but you can image when you live in America. We talk about age legal where I provide is in America, not our countries. My 17 years old Mom met my 24 years old Dad and fall in pregnant with me. I can image what if my parents are in America. My Dad would arrest for statutory rape. Thank God, my mom´s Grandparents are understanding people and support my mom and Dad when they had me.

If I live in America, I would obey their rules.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Oh yes, I forget to tell you, Tamara. (My hubby remind me about them yesterday).

About Sina´s subject, I told you about yesterday. Sina´s boyfriend didn´t know Sina is 15 years old that´s time he met her as Sina didn´t know her boyfriend´s real age as well. She told him she is 18 years old and he told her that he is 24 years old. Sina´s maturity way look like older than her own age and her boyfriend look like younger than his own age. They found out the truth about their real ages after informed him about her pregnancy.

It makes him furious because he fall in love with her in HARD way. Big fighting... etc. etc... Her boyfriend said that he would not involve with her in first place if he know she is 15 years old. Anyway it belongs past... They are happily married and 2 children...

 

[Liebling:-)))]

If I live in America, I would obey their rules.

Huh? you show yourself here is hypothetical. I talk about FACT what we feel when we were 16 years old. I beleive you talk like this in intention way to against me. Please be honest yourself.

 

[Opal]

Huh? you show yourself here is hypothetical. I talk about FACT what we feel when we were 16 years old. I beleive you talk like this in intention way to against me. Please be honest yourself.

To be honest - I didn't break the British laws!! When I was 16, I was still a virgin!!

The age of sex is 16 in Great Britain.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

To be honest - I didn't break the British laws!! When I was 16, I was still a virgin!!

The age of sex is 16 in Great Britain.

Again, I talk about in America, not our countries... :roll:

do you remember anyone get RO against legal age and minor age in England over few years difference?

 

[Opal]

Again, I talk about in America, not our countries... :roll:

do you remember anyone get RO against legal age and minor age in England over few years difference?

Back in olden days it was unheard of.

If I live in America, I would obey their rules

America - what if - It never happen to me so I stay neutral. :|

 

[Audiofuzzy]

No, Mookie provided about Tracy´s story has nothing do with my thread because there´re no RO issues in Tracy´s story. We didn´t know what sort of personatily Tracy´s boyfriend has before they married. I can´t answer to this question because I don´t know Tracy´s story. I talk about FACT, not EXAMPLE... Got it?

Exactly. Because if in Tracys story someone got RO in time what happened would NOT have happened. That is the whole and ONLY point.........
All Mookie wanted to say: it is better to get RO for nothing than NOT take one and be sorry later..

it also doesn't matter what kind of personality Tracy's BF had - you said so yourself- abusers pretend to be nice until is too late. So what does it matter what personality he had? And for the last time you don't need Tracy's story to just ANSWER MOOKIE'S QUESTION. Why didn't you?

First of all Tracy was not a minor at the time of marrying Buck Thurman. She was 30 years old, She married immediately after graduating from college. It has to be her (Tracy) to be the one to file a RO on Buck which she did. It would be out of Tracy's mother's control. This thread is related to a minor RO, not an adult.

Please, it DOESN'T MATTER.
suppose she HAD a mother. suppose it happened when she was 16...suppose her mother got the good sense of getting RO against Buck...

Daughter and boyfriend are still together over 16 months after this situation. They are happy. What´s your problem? Daughter would finish with him if he keep on control, abuse, etc on her... Mother let daughter to learn her experience what good or bad... but it´s good for mother to let her daughter know what she think of her boyfriend.

My problem -in general- is that abused girls and women do not admit to being abused- they hide it. They excuse, they lie, deny, they rationalize the abuser's behaviour, they blame themselves for upsetting them,
they are scared and/ or ashamed to admit they are being abused and sometimes the truth come to the surface when it is too late- they are in hospital with broken bones, jaws or dead. Or worse, their children are hurt.

So, NO- the daughter MIGHT NOT finish with him if he turns out to be abusive.

Just because they are a year and half together mean nothing to me. Nobody knows the truth but them.
Hypothetically the 16 girl can be ashamed to admit her mother was right, or scared of her BF to break it up with him. Sure she say they are happy but who knows the truth. Maybe they really are, I don't know..

Sometimes BF or man tells the woman if she leaves him he will find her and kill her.

That is why I understand why a mother want to seek RO or PO if she feels something is wrong.

Also many mothers, fathers, family relatives, friends even if they KNOW and SEE their daughter, sister... etc being abused and they BEG her to seek help and get away from abusive relationship they won't listen! don't you know that?
So what good the mother is doing by letting her daughter go live with potential abuser?? right into the hands of abuse ??

I would suggest mother to suggest her daughter and boyfriend to live together to find out either they are right each other or not because it´s better than divorce...

Come on, she 16 she should stay in school get good grades and get good education overall to have a good job in future and be independent. What does she need to play 'adult' now for???

Again, verbally/physical abuse is mainly, I worry about, not harmless things like few years difference ages, mistakes, etc. I don´t run to police to get RO because I don´t like girl,

I wasn't saying anything about few years diffrence either. I was saying about him being controlling - in the link it says not only Mom but the girl's friend's told he is overly controlling. That would raise red flags for me.
Another thing - if my daughter's BF forbade her to go visit Grandma he would be quickly straightened out- out of the house, forever. with light speed.

So, would you let your 16 old daughter drop off school, risk get pregnant and marry an abusive bum because that is HER choice?



Huh? Never mind!

You wrote you would respect you children choices even if they were different form yours..

mistakes BUT BIG MAINLY IMPORTANT,

it starts small.. as you've said the abusers cover their tracks very well. Only a hindsight is the best sight. By then is too late.

Fuzzy

 

[Liebling:-)))]

You wrote you would respect you children choices even if they were different form yours..
Fuzzy

I said in general way, I respect every parents´s decision what they doing with their children when I see different view as them. They will have my honest answer if they ask me. I already answer in my previous posts what if I have a daughter.
It´s good education for the parents including you and me if they have the problem with their teenagers and want have our advice, question, suggestion, opinion, etc. It shows that they don´t want lose their good relationship with their children.

 

[Liebling:-)))]

Back in olden days it was unheard of.

Exactly! None of parents get RO against boyfriends or girlfriends over few years age difference in England...

If I live in America, I would obey their rules

Huh? I don´t beleive you. You said in previous post that you lost virginity to your first love age 16. Of I do as well... We as teenagers didn´t know about minor and age legal that´s time... It´s truth. I only ASKED you for your image when you live in America.

America - what if - It never happen to me so I stay neutral. :|

Huh? I only ask you what you feel when you was teenager that time. That´s all.

Never mind.

 

[Cheri]

Please, it DOESN'T MATTER.
suppose she HAD a mother. suppose it happened when she was 16...suppose her mother got the good sense of getting RO against Buck...

It does matter, because she was not married nor ever met Buck at the age of 16, Let's get on reality not the 'what if', when it never exit to begin with. The discussion is pointless in my opinion.

 

[Maria]

My divorced friend let her then-13 years old daughter to have tongue pieced, nose pieced, six ear pieced, naval pieced, and drinking alcohlic at her house, until she is stone drunk.

Now she is 14 years old, having sex with boys, and her Mother give her birth control pills, heavy smoking and recently smoke marjunania drugs, her deaf Mother buy cigarette for her out of her part time job, and she lost lots of weight as a result, and my daughter asking her how she lost her kilos, - she said she throw up after trying to smoke marjunania.

This Mother gave her daughter tooooooo much freedom, I feel its because she is playing games against her ex husband, as she was so upset that her only daughter went to live with her ex for a short spell to be with her brother at dad's, and realised she don't like him because he is fair and square - he believe in disciplines. Too much strict for her she decided, she moved back to her Mother's "freedom and no rules house". I met him and he told me he thinks his daughter is a slut. Awful to hear from him I must say.

Until last week a Co-ordinator teacher observed her and decided to have a good talk with her because she had too many school detentions, he is not impressed with her Mother let her to have everything, she don't know how to obey and respect school rules - and it would be interesting to see what happen to them soon or later. Not my problem!!

Right ! If, the daughter kept continuin' like this without her mother's discipline .. then, the daughter's future children will be more likely to follow the mother's step, because of what the mother's mother did to the daughter. School can take daughter away to CPS or expell her from school due to poor behaviour, poor grades/ or poor attendance, etc., etc.

If, she keeps up like this, then her future husband will be more likely like her what she is now. It will follow her " cycle " - so much the same with the abuse if, the abuse involves in the family's home, then one or more children will face abuse with their future spouse/lover ... unless, if the " cycle " breaks, then their future would be great !!