Questions For The Deafies & Hearies Thread --- Cultural Discussion Topic

sr171soars said:
... When you can hear well enough, you can focus much more on what you hear. ..
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I think you hit a good point.

Hearing people don't depend on visual cues for understanding. They don't watch people's faces or eyes during normal chatting because they don't have to! It isn't necessary.

Steady eye contact (for hearing people) only becomes "necessary" when used for romance (lovers or potential lovers), interrogation (police, lawyers, military), analysis (doctors, therapists), authority emphasis (parent to child, boss to employee) or intimidation (attacker to victim) .

Just my personal opinion. Not a researched fact. :P
 
Reba said:
I think you hit a good point.

Hearing people don't depend on visual cues for understanding. They don't watch people's faces or eyes during normal chatting because they don't have to! It isn't necessary.

Steady eye contact (for hearing people) only becomes "necessary" when used for romance (lovers or potential lovers), interrogation (police, lawyers, military), analysis (doctors, therapists), authority emphasis (parent to child, boss to employee) or intimidation (attacker to victim) .

Just my personal opinion. Not a researched fact. :P
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I agree. While I don't take it as insulting if someone is not looking at me when they speak, it does sometimes become difficult to understand them because they are facing the other direction. Facial expressions and body language also have value in a conversation depending on context. If someone is talking technical jargon, I don't need to see their body language, I just need to hear them. I would equate this to talking over the phone. The person on the other end might be sitting on the crapper thumbing through a magazine while talking to me. It doesn't matter as long as I can hear them. (And they are not making grunting sounds...LOL).

There is something to be said for facing someone because in most situations that body language adds value to the conversation. As a rule of thumb I always try to face a person and look at them while I speak. Sometimes that is just not practical or necessary. I do understand though how important that is when communicating with someone that is deaf or when two deaf people are communicating. In fact, I would imagine it is crucial.
 
Reba said:
I think you hit a good point.

Hearing people don't depend on visual cues for understanding. They don't watch people's faces or eyes during normal chatting because they don't have to! It isn't necessary.

Steady eye contact (for hearing people) only becomes "necessary" when used for romance (lovers or potential lovers), interrogation (police, lawyers, military), analysis (doctors, therapists), authority emphasis (parent to child, boss to employee) or intimidation (attacker to victim) .

Just my personal opinion. Not a researched fact. :P
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I think you also make good points, Reba!

I realize my shyness hinders my ability to maintain good eye contact while having signed conversations. If my friends/students I interpret for had any idea how much thought I put into making sure I was looking at the person, they'd be shocked.

With hearing people... Forget it. I almost never make eye contact, mainly out of discomfort. Occassionally it may look like I am, but I'm really just reading their lips (habit). :)
 
As a hoh person, I have to face with the person whom I talk to, otherwise I cannot lipread and so I cannot get what he/she says... My loss forces me to face .. I got used to directly to look at the person I talk to..
Sometimes it becomes strange when I keep on staring at people !!! When I talk to a girl ,sometimes she could be thinking that I'm attracted to her... I don't know why ? ... The hearing people are not used to eye contact at all...
 
ecevit said:
The hearing people are not used to eye contact at all...
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I am sorry but I think that is much to general of a comment. I am hearing and I am use to eye contact and would actually prefer it. A persons eyes are the window to their soul. You can tell much by looking into someones eyes. In fact, I am less likely to trust someone that cant look me in the eye when speaking to me. So you see, we hearies are use to eye contact and I am sure that many of us would prefer it.
 
rockdrummer said:
I am sorry but I think that is much to general of a comment. I am hearing and I am use to eye contact and would actually prefer it. A persons eyes are the window to their soul. You can tell much by looking into someones eyes. In fact, I am less likely to trust someone that cant look me in the eye when speaking to me. So you see, we hearies are use to eye contact and I am sure that many of us would prefer it.
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I didn't mean that kind of eye contact you're saying..

I meant that the hearing people prefer eye contact much less than the deaf and hoh people.. Perhaps, I made an English mistake. ( I'm a foreigner )

Many hearing people around me use eye contact very little.. Of course, you can use it but you're one of the rare :)
 
This has been interesting...

I grew up hearing, and eye contact among the hearing is a very complicated matter. Too little and you're being rude or not paying attention; too much and you're being rude and staring or intimidating. In general, hearies will have more eye contact with people they are familiar with (family and friends) than they will with casual acquaintances or strangers. So in the original post, the example of being in line at Blockbusters, there's going to be very little eye contact going on there.

I lost my hearing very gradually and compensated for many years by lipreading, which has led to funny situations regarding hearing people I was talking to and eye contact. Even people who knew I didn't hear well and knew I was lipreading would get really uncomfortable after a while, and people who didn't know about my hearing loss would start wiping their mouths or running their tongues over their teeth, thinking there was something stuck on them. So with hearies, it's good to make eye contact with them every 2 or 3 sentences, but beyond that starts to freak them out.
 
I think multitasking could have something to do with it. I know as a hearie if I were in line talking I would most likely either be people watching or looking at products on the counter. Either way I must be rude in doing so. I should be giving full attention to the person talking to me.
 
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