Parents snooping.. Invasion of privacy?

[deafbajagal]

In this day and age, we can never be too careful with our children.

I've seen with my own eyes the horror and wrath in this sorry world we live in.

 

[Nika]

In my opinion, if you snoop and spy on your children, then you're teaching them that snooping and spying is okay.

I have an agreement with my two daughters; We talk openly and tell each other everything. I will trust them first. If they do ANYTHING to break that, then they are giving me the right to snoop and spy until I feel I can trust them again.

Just my opinion.

That was the same deal I had with my parents and plan on having with my children. I never gave them a reason to snoop so they never had to. I would rather die than break my trust with them.

 

[Oceanbreeze]

She does not have one. .

If she did she would not be begging me to start one.

But I will keep that in mind. About searching and checking.

I know someone who's young daughter has a myspace acct, but Mom controls the password. She has full knowledge of all the activity going on the acct as she looks daily. If she finds anything funny going on the acct, the daughter automatically loses her myspace priviledge, no questions asked.

I agree that it's better to avoid problems instead of cleaning them up later, but sometimes, you can still be vigilante and allow your kid alittle freedom. Again, I go back to boundaries. If you TELL your kid that this is how it's going to be right in the beginning, there should be no surprise that the parent is looking at the child's activity online.

 

[cattlefarmer]

I feel that it is our right to snoop. Yes there are times that my wife and I will walk into there rooms just to have a look around but we do it together and do not go too far. If we think there is a problem then we talk to our kids. If you are sure they are hiding something or they admit to something then grab some trash bags and do an one the spot spring cleaning / declutter of there room. But I do feel that if you do a search of there rooms that they should be there for it.

Yes we need to respect our kids and keep them safe at the same time. Yes we snoop on our kids but we don’t do it often because were able to talk to our kids about anything and everything. There are some things that they come to me to talk about and some things that they go to there mom.

They must trust you for them to talk to you. Once you mess this up a few times then it’s over. For an example when my oldest had her first “ant flow” she cam to me. Yes she had supplies and know everything she should have known plus more. But she came to me and woke me up to talk, not her mom. I did not freak out like most dads would do or tell my wife the first chance I got. We stayed up all night talking about everything and part of it was over my head but I was honest. If I would of freaked out or not spent this time with her I would of shut off the comfort level for her to talk to me. I did talk to my wife when I had a chance but she came to me so my wife stayed out of it.

You must have rules and trust to keep open lines of trust so your kids will be open and talk to you. If not then yes you need to snoop because you will never know before it’s to late.

 

[Babyblue]

I feel that it is our right to snoop. Yes there are times that my wife and I will walk into there rooms just to have a look around but we do it together and do not go too far. If we think there is a problem then we talk to our kids. If you are sure they are hiding something or they admit to something then grab some trash bags and do an one the spot spring cleaning / declutter of there room. But I do feel that if you do a search of there rooms that they should be there for it.

Yes we need to respect our kids and keep them safe at the same time. Yes we snoop on our kids but we don’t do it often because were able to talk to our kids about anything and everything. There are some things that they come to me to talk about and some things that they go to there mom.

They must trust you for them to talk to you. Once you mess this up a few times then it’s over. For an example when my oldest had her first “ant flow” she cam to me. Yes she had supplies and know everything she should have known plus more. But she came to me and woke me up to talk, not her mom. I did not freak out like most dads would do or tell my wife the first chance I got. We stayed up all night talking about everything and part of it was over my head but I was honest. If I would of freaked out or not spent this time with her I would of shut off the comfort level for her to talk to me. I did talk to my wife when I had a chance but she came to me so my wife stayed out of it.

You must have rules and trust to keep open lines of trust so your kids will be open and talk to you. If not then yes you need to snoop because you will never know before it’s to late.

Exactly!

Kids will talk to parents about certain things.

I'm sure a lot of the grown ups on AD haven't told their parents EVERYTHING.

Especially, the forbidden activities.

 

[Jolie77]

In this day and age, we can never be too careful with our children.

I've seen with my own eyes the horror and wrath in this sorry world we live in.

Indeed, As we all know - We all can't protect our children 24/7 when they get older. The older they get, the more space they will need for theirselves.

So this means - All we can do is to start with a trust foundation in order to show our children the difference of the "rights and wrongs".

Snooping may be a good reason to implicate a cause out of concern but it also needs to be endowed rather than having it going off board. There's a fine line between that as well.

 

[Jolie77]

You need to be a real parent then sit with your child and talk openly. You break the trust bond between you and your child if you carry on like this.

Best way is open with your child than snoop behind your child’s back.

Yes I can understand the parents care about children’s safety and welfare but it’s still an invasion of privacy… Trust your children what you taught them. If they make mistakes then let them learn from them.

The fact is: snooping the children’s privacy is not right rules and form of discipline but just satisfy parent’s curious.

Yes - Well, The fact of invading the children's privacy does not always mean that we will do it just to satisfy our curiosity or for our own personal agenda. That shouldn't be like this at all. By snooping could be a reason for only if it is necessary or when your children is showing some suspicious behavior.

We all know that the kids will not be totally upfront with us. Either we can be upfront with them and meet them at the halfway point for them to be able to work on it in order to establish an successful relationship with the child.

 

[Babyblue]

Indeed, As we all know - We all can't protect our children 24/7 when they get older. The older they get, the more space they will need for theirselves.

So this means - All we can do is to start with a trust foundation in order to show our children the difference of the "rights and wrongs".

Snooping may be a good reason to implicate a cause out of concern but it also needs to be endowed rather than having it going off board. There's a fine line between that as well.

I agree.

The older they get the more privacy they will need.

The fine line is How much privacy is needed. When they go out to live on their own they are no longer your responsibility they can have all the privacy they want. I rather to know what is going on under our roof. I do trust my children to a certain point. but again they are children. Parents are responsible for their actions.

 

[Jolie77]

I agree.

The older they get the more privacy they will need.

The fine line is How much privacy is needed. When they go out to live on their own they are no longer your responsibility they can have all the privacy they want. I rather to know what is going on under our roof. I do trust my children to a certain point. but again they are children. Parents are responsible for their actions.

Indeed. If we parents are not up to our expectations and examples, then how can our children learn from it? They won't. They will think it is ok just because we are doing it.

That is why there needs to be a boundary established in order to ensure the well being of our children.

 

[GarnetTigerMom]

Since the topic titles says "invasion of privacy" don t say the limit of age. It not just only parents have the right to do that to their kids to snoop around I understand. But there is fine line between trust with a parents to a child. But I would say NO is not right for parents who still SNOOP around in their adult child life is a no no no.

 

[Babyblue]

Indeed. If we parents are not up to our expectations and examples, then how can our children learn from it? They won't. They will think it is ok just because we are doing it.

That is why there needs to be a boundary established in order to ensure the well being of our children.

I agree.

I have set boundaries for my children.

Parents do need to be a good role model and show the children what is expected. Children do learn behaviors and actions of adults.

 

[Daredevel7]

Has it occurred to the parents that they may find something that they don't particularly like but is technically harmless? For example, how would you feel if you found something that shows that your child has a weird fetish? Something that will make you look at your child differently but it is not something to punish him/her for. After all, I am sure YOU, as a parent, have things or done things that you don't need your child to know.....

 

[Jiro]

Has it occurred to the parents that they may find something that they don't particularly like but is technically harmless? For example, how would you feel if you found something that shows that your child has a weird fetish? Something that will make you look at your child differently but it is not something to punish him/her for. After all, I am sure YOU, as a parent, have things or done things that you don't need your child to know.....

that would be very very awkward