Parents snooping.. Invasion of privacy?

Babyblue said:
Ooohh. That is a toughy for me.

anyone that wants to contact my child VIA the net. They have to go through me. It is not being controlling. It is just all the dangers lurking on the net. That you can accuse me of being over protective.

She even pulled the "all my friends have my space"

I told her well her friends dont have a Mom like me.
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She doesnt have myspace or facebook. I refuse to let her have those accounts. She just has a gmail account so I can email her when she is with her father during the week.
 
IndieVisible said:
Unless you suspect your child (any age) is in danger it is wrong and is snooping and invasion of privacy! You should respect that. How ever when health reasons are possible it is a parents duty to protect their children from drugs, suicide, or any heaalth issues.
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I happen to disagree. I feel it is parential responsibility to check on their children.

You'd be amazed by what you find in their rooms. For instance.

How filthy it really is! :lol: That is why I made them clean it today.



Schools do random checks in lockers.

They're signs posted outside of the school that anyone coming on the property are subject to search without cause.
 
Babyblue said:
I do understand what you are saying.

I do not go and snoop all the time.

I don't do it to embarrass them or the shame them of their privacy.

I know how kids can be. We all do!

I just do it to be aware of what my children are doing and to educate them of the consiquences.
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Then you are being a responsible parent. Yay for Babyblue!
 
Babyblue said:
I happen to disagree. I feel it is parential responsibility to check on their children.

You'd be amazed by what you find in their rooms. For instance.

How filthy it really is! :lol: That is why I made them clean it today.



Schools do random checks in lockers.

They're signs posted outside of the school that anyone coming on the property are subject to search without cause.
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That was what I discovered a month ago...a VERY nasty and filthy bedroom and made her clean it up. Then, I showed her how to keep it clean and organized...so far so good.
 
shel90 said:
That was what I discovered a month ago...a VERY nasty and filthy bedroom and made her clean it up. Then, I showed her how to keep it clean and organized...so far so good.
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oooooh. so you do check their rooms :giggle:

I understand about your daughter having an email.

I've just realized i pretty much controdicted what I have said. My daughter has a cell phone. again to keep tabs on her.

I do check her calls on my phone bill.

Had to take it away from her from time to time for abusing it. so I do understand you having an Email address for her to keep in touch.

:)
 
S.O.B. said:
Discussing it with them is the key. To just say NO and adding a guilt trip on top of their issues will just make things worst.
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This is true. I think you should be upfront with the kid and let them know this is what you're doing and why. Set the boundaries for them, too. If you let your kid know that you love them and you set boundaries for the kid, it can only be good for the child.


I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to snoop, even if it's for curousity sake. It's a parent's JOB to keep their child safe. Far too many parents DON'T give a crap what their kid is into, and those are the kids who are getting into trouble.
 
Nika said:
Just nowadays? Why do people always seem to think now is always worse than before? When was a time when everywhere was safer and people didn't do such terrible things?

I think that snooping around my child's stuff is an invasion of privacy. Plus I think that by giving a child more trust, s/he learns that it is fragile and not to be broken. That's what my parents did with me and I plan to do the same thing with my children. They always gave me trust when my peers' parents were assuming the worst about their own children, and I'm the one that ended up not pushing any boundaries because I felt no need or desire to.
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This is giving a kid too much free reign.
 
Babyblue said:
oooooh. so you do check their rooms :giggle:

I understand about your daughter having an email.

I've just realized i pretty much controdicted what I have said. My daughter has a cell phone. again to keep tabs on her.

I do check her calls on my phone bill.

Had to take it away from her from time to time for abusing it. so I do understand you having an Email address for her to keep in touch.

:)
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My ex hubby got her a cell phone when she was 8. I DID NOT approve at all. I still dont. I just hope he is keeping tabs on her when she uses it over there. When she is here with me, we dont let her use it...well..maybe to make long distance calls to my relatives in AZ cuz my ex has to pay for it!!! :giggle: I am bad!

Yea, I like to know what's up with her and school and since I cant talk to her on the phone and texting expensive under her stupid cell phone plan so we use email. She looks forward to my emails. Also, my family in AZ enjoys emailing her and recieving emails from her too.
 
shel90 said:
My ex hubby got her a cell phone when she was 8. I DID NOT approve at all. I still dont. I just hope he is keeping tabs on her when she uses it over there. When she is here with me, we dont let her use it...well..maybe to make long distance calls to my relatives in AZ cuz my ex has to pay for it!!! :giggle: I am bad!

Yea, I like to know what's up with her and school and since I cant talk to her on the phone and texting expensive under her stupid cell phone plan so we use email. She looks forward to my emails. Also, my family in AZ enjoys emailing her and recieving emails from her too.
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At the age of 8? Wow! I got one for mine when she started Jr. High.
 
Babyblue said:
At the age of 8? Wow! I got one for mine when she started Jr. High.
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I was furious. He sees it as a good way to keep tabs on her and I see it as giving her too much freedom. We can never agree on anything which is why we are no longer together...grrr!
 
shel90 said:
I was furious. He sees it as a good way to keep tabs on her and I see it as giving her too much freedom. We can never agree on anything which is why we are no longer together...grrr!
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I agree with you shel. Eight does seem kind of young.
 
Any other parents that are willing to admit that they snoop or have snooped on their children?

Curious since their are more than one way of "keeping tabs"

I still feel it is the parents responsibility to make sure their kids are doing right. And on the legal standpoint it IS!
 
naisho said:
Not calling you out Nika, don't take it that way. But your experience is anecdotal, it pertains to you only. With that being said, you can't expect that this will play out the same for everyone else out there. Granted, either they have common sense or not, but some people don't have that line of thinking or aren't as lucky. That's the only inconsistency that I have to point out. What BabyBlue is trying to see, is if there's a "central set of norms" that should be enforced on a child's privacy in general.
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I know what you mean. But I think that it would work a lot more often than people recognize. Of course it wouldn't work for every child and every parent, but most other people's parents that I come across don't even give my parents' philosophy a thought. So I am just putting it out there to say that it can work--not that it will always work but that it is possible.
 
Babyblue said:
Any other parents that are willing to admit that they snoop or have snooped on their children?

Curious since their are more than one way of "keeping tabs"

I still feel it is the parents responsibility to make sure their kids are doing right. And on the legal standpoint it IS!
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Yeah, I'll admit it.
 
Babyblue said:
I grew up with boundries. Children needs boundries.

I do not allow my kids to do what ever they want. If I did I would not be a parent, now would I?

Allowing your kids to do ANYTHING with out any boundries is not being a parent.

I have boundries and expectations of my children. As most parents do.

so I set them and they know the consiquences of overstepping those boundries.


You must be one of those kids that never dared to step out of line.

If your parents never set any boundries how did you know your limits?
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Exactly. :gpost:

I don't have children, but if I did, you can bet I would place boundaries on what they can/can't do. I also would make it clear that I plan to check up on what they are doing. I think if you make it known to the child what you expect, then this whole debate becomes null and void.
 
Jolie77 said:
You know...

As I was reminiscing my teen years, I hated it when my mother would be snooping through my stuffs, reading my diary and journals. I felt that she was invading my privacy.
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Me too. My mum used to read my diary so in the end I kept in my school locker. Only this boy broke in and read my diary... At least my mum never broadcasted my diary entries to the whole school. That is a very humiliating experience. Especially since he was adding details that I hadn't actually written. Just to spice things up.

I think my parents went over the top a bit, but they were only concerned about my well being and it did save my life once.
 
My Mom did snooped in my room when I was a teen.

It never really bothered me due to I had nothing to hide in her room. I would not dare take anything that Im not suppose to have in that house to begin with. Having a mother that is an ARNP for most of her life is not someone you want to hide from. :lol:
 
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