Out of Control Kids: Ur Reaction?

I experienced this type of thing just this week travelling to my mom's... Adam had been in the carseat quite a while and started screaming-- thinking he was hungry I stopped at a McDonalds to get him something to eat quickly and get him out of the carseat... before hitting the road again.

Well turns out he wasn't hungry-- but needed a sensory outlet... he's not autisitc but he has Sensory Processing Disorder and sometimes he just needs to move-- and move something to make his muscles and joints relax...

So I finally figured out he didn't want to be IN the highchair but rather moving it around-- but until I figured that out- he was screaming to high heaven!!! After 5 minutes of pushing the highchair around a deserted corner he was fine~~ But people were looking at me like I had a monster child and I was horrible b/c I couldn't control him... I was doing what I thought he needed (I thought he was hungry!!!!) but since he doesn't have a lot of speech yet-- he couldn't say-- HEY MOM I NEED TO MOVE SOMETHING to calm down!!!! Mom is learning LOL

I try not to take him to resturants where it's quiet and too upscale b/c I know it's always possible he'll 'melt down' so we tend to hit the noisy spots... where he's not noticed as much. I'm waiting on someone to say something to me some day... it'll all depend on how my day has been what I'll say!!!

ON THE OTHER HAND!!!! Taking small children to the movies-- OMG why?? and if they're older and still throwing stuff... yeah that's when you call the manager and tell them... done that before for unruly teens... got free tickets to the movies too!!

I agree some kids aren't taught to behave-- or they're 'incharge' w/mom and dad... and that's not the way a child should be raised-- but there are two sides to every story and we don't always know what's going on w/that child... so I guess it's a personal decision what to say/do... ya know??
 
Adamsmomma said:
I experienced this type of thing just this week travelling to my mom's... Adam had been in the carseat quite a while and started screaming-- thinking he was hungry I stopped at a McDonalds to get him something to eat quickly and get him out of the carseat... before hitting the road again.

Well turns out he wasn't hungry-- but needed a sensory outlet... he's not autisitc but he has Sensory Processing Disorder and sometimes he just needs to move-- and move something to make his muscles and joints relax...

So I finally figured out he didn't want to be IN the highchair but rather moving it around-- but until I figured that out- he was screaming to high heaven!!! After 5 minutes of pushing the highchair around a deserted corner he was fine~~ But people were looking at me like I had a monster child and I was horrible b/c I couldn't control him... I was doing what I thought he needed (I thought he was hungry!!!!) but since he doesn't have a lot of speech yet-- he couldn't say-- HEY MOM I NEED TO MOVE SOMETHING to calm down!!!! Mom is learning LOL

I try not to take him to resturants where it's quiet and too upscale b/c I know it's always possible he'll 'melt down' so we tend to hit the noisy spots... where he's not noticed as much. I'm waiting on someone to say something to me some day... it'll all depend on how my day has been what I'll say!!!

ON THE OTHER HAND!!!! Taking small children to the movies-- OMG why?? and if they're older and still throwing stuff... yeah that's when you call the manager and tell them... done that before for unruly teens... got free tickets to the movies too!!

I agree some kids aren't taught to behave-- or they're 'incharge' w/mom and dad... and that's not the way a child should be raised-- but there are two sides to every story and we don't always know what's going on w/that child... so I guess it's a personal decision what to say/do... ya know??
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While it's true that some children are simply not taught to behave, and allowed to run rampant in public places, we quite often don't know which ones are misbehaving because they are not disciplined, and which parents are actually very attentive and sensitive to their child's needs, and the behavior we are seeing is the result of a difficulty the child is having at the time. What might appear to be bad parenting to someone unfamiliar with a child's difficulties may very well be sound and therapeutic parenting in this child's case.
 
As for taking small children to movies...my mom took my 12 year old and 3 year old to the movies when she was here in April. I kept asking her "Are u sure u want to take my son?" She was sure so she took them. She said my son was very good. When I took him to the movies once, his behavior was so terrible. It must have been a good movie to keep him quiet and seated for almost 3 hours or my mom has the magic charm on him! LOL! Despite knowing how good he was, I still wont take him to the movies until he is older.
 
shel90 said:
As for taking small children to movies...my mom took my 12 year old and 3 year old to the movies when she was here in April. I kept asking her "Are u sure u want to take my son?" She was sure so she took them. She said my son was very good. When I took him to the movies once, his behavior was so terrible. It must have been a good movie to keep him quiet and seated for almost 3 hours or my mom has the magic charm on him! LOL! Despite knowing how good he was, I still wont take him to the movies until he is older.
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Maybe she spiked his soft drink!:lol:
 
jillio said:
Maybe she spiked his soft drink!:lol:
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Benadryl does wonders!! LOL KIDDING!!!

Yeah Shel, I've seen some younger ones like that behaved--especially at cartoon movies, they appear mesmerized-- but what gets me is people who bring kids Adam's age to the movies... blows my mind--
 
jillio said:
While it's true that some children are simply not taught to behave, and allowed to run rampant in public places, we quite often don't know which ones are misbehaving because they are not disciplined, and which parents are actually very attentive and sensitive to their child's needs, and the behavior we are seeing is the result of a difficulty the child is having at the time. What might appear to be bad parenting to someone unfamiliar with a child's difficulties may very well be sound and therapeutic parenting in this child's case.
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Thanks Jillio I take the bolded as a big compliment!! :) :) I just wish I had figured out earlier what was wrong w/him~~ it's all a learning process...
 
Like I say, it does take a child to teach a village.

Children do teach parents something about themselves.
 
Adamsmomma said:
Thanks Jillio I take the bolded as a big compliment!! :) :) I just wish I had figured out earlier what was wrong w/him~~ it's all a learning process...
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You're welcome. It was meant as such. ;) And, yes, it is a learning process. The imortant thing is that you are open to that process.
 
We debated about children´s behavior in resturants.

http://www.alldeaf.com/parenting/22127-war-brats.html


We took our children to any family-friendly restaurants where there´re playground, toys, drawing paper with crayons around. The waitresses gave each child drawing paper and crayons to draw or let them know that thereré playground and toys for them to play.

If my hubby & I want to be alone without children, then go to posh resturants.






 
Mrs Bucket said:
Like I say, it does take a child to teach a village.

Children do teach parents something about themselves.
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jillio said:
If we are open to the process, they teach us volumes, Mrs. B.
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Yes they do!! Adam has taught me more about myself and what I can endure and about overcoming challanges- than I've ever learned in a classroom or from any 'leader' that's for sure!!!

jillio said:
You're welcome. It was meant as such. ;) And, yes, it is a learning process. The imortant thing is that you are open to that process.
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:) I'd rather be open to this process of learning about this sensory processing stuff then have him on ADHD meds b/c someone misdiagnosed him... hey I can spare 5 minutes for him to push or play if it means he can be med free (for now :) ) right?? :) :)
 
jillio said:
Maybe she spiked his soft drink!:lol:
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:laugh2: My daughter can't believe how well her two year old behaves around me.

I think it is just that Grandmothers expect it and kids comply. They get more opportunity to see what they can get away with with parents.
 
Bottesini said:
:laugh2:
I think it is just that Grandmothers expect it and kids comply. They get more opportunity to see what they can get away with with parents.
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You might be on to something there!!! LOL I know there are things Adam doesn't even TRY w/my mom!!! :) (And come to think of it, my Gma had me pretty well controlled when I was w/her a lot as a child! LOL)
 
jillio said:
Exactly. And what does it actually hurt to rearrange all of the salt and pepper shakers. What form of catastrophe does that create, I ask?
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It doesn't hurt to rearrange the salt/pepper shakers. To me, It isn't a big deal because it is not like a kid would be running amok in a restaurant while the salt/pepper shaker could be the thing that can keep a kid seated which is better than causing a catastrophe.

But, In a way it's funny because the other patrons are making it a fuss only to do a quick judgment. To them, it is a catastrophe because they rearrange it all over again and all that crap. For a minute there, I was like - Ok, whatever.

In all seriousness, Parents also should be aware of what kind of restaurant settings/atmosphere are the best suitable for the kids, depending on how they behave.

Cheri said:
I agree wholeheartedly with Jolie77.

You can't expect kids to be perfect little ladies and gentleman and be well behaved in public. Younger generation have a lot of energies, They don't shared the same manners as matured teens do. You can't expect a two years old, or 4 years old or 8 years old to sit still at a restaurant or anywhere out in public.

If parents just allow their child to run around making noises and do what they like and parents do absolutely nothing, then that bad parenting role, but if parents are trying their very best to keep their child under control, then that's good parenting role.

Parenting is hard work, there's no instruction for parents being parents when their children are born, children get in their faces, they make a mess, they scream, they whine, etc. Parents walked through it all, so my question is why criticized them?
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Cheri, In a way you're right about how the younger/older generations behaves but I'd say in overall, It is all about how the children should be well handled, not just because of them being out of control but because of how the parents also needs to be a bit attentive with their children.

There's the difference of Parents that does not do anything and lets their children behave like a menace and Parents that are actually trying to control their children but yet, their children are acting like a menace.

Understandably, There are some children out there with special needs and that's the thing, some of the time people can be too quick to make a judgment before they see what happens behind the closed doors.

In re; of your last paragraph -- Granted, Parenting is a hard work and of course there's no instruction manual that comes with it. Yes, We all do the walk but we don't do the SAME walk as every other parents do. So, in order of being criticizing - Sometime it is in our nature to criticize others not just because we hate them but because we were raised to be taught this and that. That is what precedes us to be influenced by that.
 
Adamsmomma said:
Yes they do!! Adam has taught me more about myself and what I can endure and about overcoming challanges- than I've ever learned in a classroom or from any 'leader' that's for sure!!!



:) I'd rather be open to this process of learning about this sensory processing stuff then have him on ADHD meds b/c someone misdiagnosed him... hey I can spare 5 minutes for him to push or play if it means he can be med free (for now :) ) right?? :) :)
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I agree with you completely!
 
Bottesini said:
:laugh2: My daughter can't believe how well her two year old behaves around me.

I think it is just that Grandmothers expect it and kids comply. They get more opportunity to see what they can get away with with parents.
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You have an excellent point there, Grandma Bott. Kids aren't as sure about how far they can push a Grandma, while they are pretty wise in figuring out how far they can push a parent.
 
id say something to the parent about why hes not fulfilling his parently duty it isnt very hard to tell a kid to sit down and shut up, and the reason why theyre so outta control is because they werent raised right in the first place so id say something to the parent

my two cents
 
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