okay ad'ers. ask me anything (but be nice! :))

shel90 said:
I tried reading thru the whole thread...ttoooooo long so if this has been asked already, my apologies!

What's your favorite holiday and why?
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my favorite holiday is christmas. when i was growing up, we always used to have large family gatherings at my parents' house. as a child, i used to love playing with my nieces and nephews on christmas day with our new toys. when i became older, it was fun listening to all of the children in my family laughing and opening up their gifts. now that i have ci's, i love being able to hear that again. <very happy> i also love watching christmas movies during the holidays and listening to christmas music. aside from that, one thing i love most about christmas is the kindness people show toward others.
 
Nika said:
That is so sweet. Your boyfriend sounds as amazing and wonderful as you. I'm glad you found each other. <smile> It is really nice to have someone's full support, isn't it?
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thanks, nika! yes, it is nice having someone's total support. <smile> my boyfriend and i have been dating for a little over 2 years now. needless to say, i consider myself to be one of the luckiest women in the world!
 
Were your parents devastated when they learned that you were born blind?
 
Bottesini said:
What did you get for Christmas?
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hey there, bott!

i received a pantsuit, dress shirt, dress pants, blazer, a new lg cell phone (to replace the one i received last christmas), 2 pairs of jeans, a large collection of classic records from my brother in law (i love to collect vintage music), 3 cd's (all from artists i like from the 80s), victoria secret's "heavenly dream angels" and "love's baby soft" perfumes (two of my favorites), accessories for my hair and a new ipod.
 
What kind of job are u hoping to get after u graduate?
 
shel90 said:
Were your parents devastated when they learned that you were born blind?
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i was adopted, so i don't know how my natural parents felt. my mother was only 19 when she had me and not seeing the father, so that's why i was put up for adoption. my blindness never bothered my adoptive parents since they were foster parents and had already taken care of several children who were visually impaired, deaf and had other disabilities.
 
Hear Again said:
i was adopted, so i don't know how my natural parents felt. my mother was only 19 when she had me and not seeing the father, so that's why i was put up for adoption. my blindness never bothered my adoptive parents since they were foster parents and had already taken care of several children who were visually impaired, deaf and had other disabilities.
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Oh really? My mom was 18 when she had me..she found out about my deafness when I was 7 months old by accident. It devastated her...she is still a little bit grieving about it to this day even though my brother and I are leading happy lives like anyone else. She was just a kid and to go thru that...I cant imagine.

Do u want to find your birth parents?
 
shel90 said:
What kind of job are u hoping to get after u graduate?
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i'm torn between social work and psychiatry. i'd love to do both, so i'm thinking about becoming a therapist and/or a social worker in the medical field.

once i finish my bachelor's degree in social work, i plan to complete my master's in social work with a minor in psychology. from there, i plan to earn my P.h.D. in psychiatry.
 
shel90 said:
Oh really? My mom was 18 when she had me..she found out about my deafness when I was 7 months old by accident. It devastated her...she is still a little bit grieving about it to this day even though my brother and I are leading happy lives like anyone else. She was just a kid and to go thru that...I cant imagine.

Do u want to find your birth parents?
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gosh, that must have been so difficult for your mother. no offense, but if i found out my child had a disability, i would be devastated too. even though i know disabilities don't stop a person from becoming whatever they want to be, most parents have the expectation of having "perfect" children and i know i would be no different in that respect.

i'd love to find my birth parents, but in some ways, i'm afraid of rejection. although my natural parents knew i was totally blind from birth, i'm afraid of spending alot of time searching for my parents only for me to find out one or both of them are deceased or don't want to see me. i don't know if i could handle that kind of news or rejection, so right now, i'm wavering between wanting to search for them and not wanting to search for them.
 
shel90 said:
Sorry for asking u this since this is HearAgain's thread but if u dont want to answer, that's ok but are u deafblind, as well?
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Not at all, Shel. :) No, I am not deafblind. A few years ago, I was trained to learn about the supportive guide services, like physical and communication access and participating in the spectrum of civic, social, and busy activities, etc before I became a Provider.
 
Hear Again said:
gosh, that must have been so difficult for your mother. no offense, but if i found out my child had a disability, i would be devastated too. even though i know disabilities don't stop a person from becoming whatever they want to be, most parents have the expectation of having "perfect" children and i know i would be no different in that respect.

i'd love to find my birth parents, but in some ways, i'm afraid of rejection. although my natural parents knew i was totally blind from birth, i'm afraid of spending alot of time searching for my parents only for me to find out one or both of them are deceased or don't want to see me. i don't know if i could handle that kind of news or rejection, so right now, i'm wavering between wanting to search for them and not wanting to search for them.
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hhmmm.... I have a rather good suggestion. Now that your boyfriend sounds like your trusty "soulmate".... he should handle the investigation (done by PI of course) and he should decide whether or not to tell you the result.
 
Hear Again said:
i'd love to find my birth parents, but in some ways, i'm afraid of rejection. although my natural parents knew i was totally blind from birth, i'm afraid of spending alot of time searching for my parents only for me to find out one or both of them are deceased or don't want to see me. i don't know if i could handle that kind of news or rejection, so right now, i'm wavering between wanting to search for them and not wanting to search for them.
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I can totally relate. Usually parents that give their children up for adoption give them up for a reason. Maybe my experience will be of help to you.

I have researched my birth parents and the story looks very shady, so I am thinking of initially sending a letter just to let my mother know that I am okay and I made it out fine, and to thank her for putting me up for adoption. Then if she replies, I'll take steps to meet her in person. Maybe you could do the same with your parents. 1) Research the circumstances and 2) Send a letter to "test the waters" so to speak.

Good luck, Hear Again.
 
Nika said:
I have researched my birth parents and the story looks very shady, so I am thinking of initially sending a letter just to let my mother know that I am okay and I made it out fine, and to thank her for putting me up for adoption. Then if she replies, I'll take steps to meet her in person. Maybe you could do the same with your parents. 1) Research the circumstances and 2) Send a letter to "test the waters" so to speak.

Good luck, Hear Again.
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writing a letter is an excellent idea because it would at least help open up the doors of communication without making my parents feel obligated to contact me. thanks for the suggestion! <smile>
 
Jiro said:
hhmmm.... I have a rather good suggestion. Now that your boyfriend sounds like your trusty "soulmate".... he should handle the investigation (done by PI of course) and he should decide whether or not to tell you the result.
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that's another good idea, but i wonder if a pi would allow him to search for my parents given that he is not their child. do you think a pi would allow him to initiate the investigation without my participation?
 
Hear Again said:
writing a letter is an excellent idea because it would at least help open up the doors of communication without making my parents feel obligated to contact me. thanks for the suggestion! <smile>
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My pleasure. <smile> In fact I learned Russian for that very reason--so I can write my biological mother a letter. (If you're wondering where the father is in the picture--he's deceased.)
 
Nika said:
My pleasure. <smile> In fact I learned Russian for that very reason--so I can write my biological mother a letter. (If you're wondering where the father is in the picture--he's deceased.)
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interesting!

the only thing that worries me is the challenge i may have in locating my parents. my father had a popular last name with a standard spelling (like smith) which could make finding him difficult at best. i also don't know the first or last name of my mother. all i know is the city and hospital i was born in.
 
Oh no, that complicates things. I went through the police force. While my mother had an unusual last name, all the passport numbers in Russian changed in 1993, and lots of people changed their information during the switch. So I tried another avenue: I figured there's a good chance my parents had some shady history, and it turns out my mother has one mother of a police report.

If you know the city and hospital you were born at, maybe you could look into the hospital records? You could ask them to look at births on your birthday, or eve within the week of your birthday.

Did your adoptive parents keep your first name or did they change it? If they changed it, do you know what your first name was before they changed it?
 
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