"Oh, you speak so well!" and other annoying comments

[ecp]

I hate that comment. I get it all the time and after a while I feel like I should just stop concentrating on pronuncing things well (it takes a lot of effort) and just talk. Or even sign. But nobody would understand me.
I feel like when hearing people tell me that I speak well it is either a way of them telling me that I must not be too deaf or it is a condescending way of patting me on the back for trying to squeeze my square voice into the proverbial round hole.
Another annoying comment is "Oh, you aren't deaf enough to need an interpreter"
I have severe hearing loss that drops a few decibles a year. I understand 65 to 70% of speech at 90db which means that if someone is shouting in my ear, I will get the basic idea of what they are saying. I went to a signing elementary/middle school so I am more than comfortable with ASL. In fact, I'm more comfortable with ASL because it is so much less stressful.
What makes someone "Deaf enough"?
I have met some Deaf people who consider me hearing because I go to a hearing college. These people don't seem to understand that though I don't go to Gally or NTID I'm still part of Deaf culture. (Though, I'm not too involved in the D/deaf community because I often feel like many people divide the world into Us and Them based solely on appearance).

One last thing, my audiologist didn't give me a color choice with my last set of BTEs. He choose blonde to blend into my hair but I really wanted blue! He thought I would want to hide my BTEs but I would rather people see my (pretty blue) hearing aids and know that I may not hear them than have people think I'm just stupid when I ask them to repeat themselves.

Ok, that is my rant for the year. Anybody else annoyed by this?

 

[Serendipity]

I get this comment sometimes from hearing people who were pitiful enough to say, "I'm sorry you can't hear everything. How do you feel about that and how can you manage it?"

Well, duh... I'm already accustomed to it since I was born and there was no loss, really.

 

[ecp]

I get this comment sometimes from hearing people who were pitiful enough to say, "I'm sorry you can't hear everything. How do you feel about that and how can you manage it?"

Well, duh... I'm already accustomed to it since I was born and there was no loss, really.

That is annoying. I agree, we've never known another way (though because my loss is progressive I have known what it is like to be less deaf). A similar thing happens when I tell people I'm allergic to blueberries. People freak out saying, "Oh, you poor thing! No blueberries! How to you LIVE like that?" They never seem to understand that I've only had blueberries once and I had a nasty rash and a swollen tongue so eating blueberries doesn't have the same effect to me as to other people. I don't miss blueberries anymore than I miss hearing high frequencies (I cant hear any high frequencies above like 8khz)). High frequencies are annoying anyway. So are blueberries, they tend to hide in yummy things like muffins and pancakes. Damn blueberries.

 

[Raykat]

The one I hate is ......"oh I do wish you could hear this music".......I feel bad enough myself about not hearing music the way others do without having it rubbed in every five minutes...........the one about speaking well is a bummer too

 

[BearBeauty]

I get all those.. and More. My favorite is.. " How do you live as a deaf person?" Or... " Do deaf people have sex? How good is she in bed?" directed at my hearing boyfriend. The look on his face was Priceless...I thought he was going to punch someone.

I also hate having to defend how I was raised.. with both oralism and sign incorporated in my life. I hear "Oralism is a failure" so often I want to kick someone upside the head.

 

[VamPyroX]

I do get that sometimes.

I'm currently working on my thesis project for my MS degree. When I had my proposal reviewed for approval, the chairperson said to me... "Wow, you write so well!" I was thinking, "WTF!?"

Apparently, he didn't expect me to write so well considering I was deaf. :roll:

 

[Banjo]

Yes, it's quite a condescending attitude to hold. Unfortunately, it's common among the hearing fellas.

 

[VamPyroX]

Yes, it's quite a condescending attitude to hold. Unfortunately, it's common among the hearing fellas.

There will be some assumptions that I've seen that I don't consider offensive, but some other deaf people do consider it offensive.

For instance, I was in line at Taco Bell with some deaf friends. We were signing the whole time and never used our voices. When I approached the counter, the cashier offered me a piece of paper and pen for me to write down my order. Even though I can speak for myself, I did appreciate the fact that he noticed my signing and considered the possibility that I wouldn't be able to understand him talking. So, I applauded his efforts for trying.

However, another time... I was in the same signing situation with another friend. This time, that friend was offended by that guy. My friend said, "Jeez! I can talk! Why does he have to hand me a piece of paper and assume that all deaf people can't talk?"

Yes, I understand the concept... but it was a small gesture, no rude comments or gestures were made, just a simple misunderstanding.

 

[Banjo]

Yes, I understand the concept... but it was a small gesture, no rude comments or gestures were made, just a simple misunderstanding.

That's quite different. I wouldn't be offended if I was offered paper and pen. Though it's different when one decide to make a comment on your speech skill meaning they may had assumed that you would be functionally illiterate.

 

[RedheadGrrl]

I always get the comment from hearing ppl "Oh you speak very well" I said back to them "Thanks to my mom for that." They said nothing and walked away.

 

[nightcrickets]

I hate that comment. I get it all the time and after a while I feel like I should just stop concentrating on pronuncing things well (it takes a lot of effort) and just talk. Or even sign. But nobody would understand me.
I feel like when hearing people tell me that I speak well it is either a way of them telling me that I must not be too deaf or it is a condescending way of patting me on the back for trying to squeeze my square voice into the proverbial round hole.
Another annoying comment is "Oh, you aren't deaf enough to need an interpreter"
I have severe hearing loss that drops a few decibles a year. I understand 65 to 70% of speech at 90db which means that if someone is shouting in my ear, I will get the basic idea of what they are saying. I went to a signing elementary/middle school so I am more than comfortable with ASL. In fact, I'm more comfortable with ASL because it is so much less stressful.
What makes someone "Deaf enough"?
I have met some Deaf people who consider me hearing because I go to a hearing college. These people don't seem to understand that though I don't go to Gally or NTID I'm still part of Deaf culture. (Though, I'm not too involved in the D/deaf community because I often feel like many people divide the world into Us and Them based solely on appearance).

One last thing, my audiologist didn't give me a color choice with my last set of BTEs. He choose blonde to blend into my hair but I really wanted blue! He thought I would want to hide my BTEs but I would rather people see my (pretty blue) hearing aids and know that I may not hear them than have people think I'm just stupid when I ask them to repeat themselves.

Ok, that is my rant for the year. Anybody else annoyed by this?

sounds like your audie ordered too many beige color BTEs

 

[nightcrickets]

I get all those.. and More. My favorite is.. " How do you live as a deaf person?" Or... " Do deaf people have sex? How good is she in bed?" directed at my hearing boyfriend. The look on his face was Priceless...I thought he was going to punch someone.

I also hate having to defend how I was raised.. with both oralism and sign incorporated in my life. I hear "Oralism is a failure" so often I want to kick someone upside the head.

Thank goodness I have my son....They wouldn't be asking that question. Unless they are an idiot after I introduce them my son.

 

[Serendipity]

Here's another one.

for instance, I just told that person that I couldn't hear hence the term deaf. He or she went like, oh? You can't drive, right?

Then I went like, oh like this *takes my drivers license out of my wallet* and how is that for an answer?

 

[sleepytaz]

Here's another one.

for instance, I just told that person that I couldn't hear hence the term deaf. He or she went like, oh? You can't drive, right?

Then I went like, oh like this *takes my drivers license out of my wallet* and how is that for an answer?

I liked how you did it!

 

[Mayberry]

I do get that sometimes.

I'm currently working on my thesis project for my MS degree. When I had my proposal reviewed for approval, the chairperson said to me... "Wow, you write so well!" I was thinking, "WTF!?"

Apparently, he didn't expect me to write so well considering I was deaf. :roll:

*headdesk*

That's like saying, "Wow, I'm surprised you, a one-armed man, can walk as well as you do!" :P

 

[OldNavyGirl]

yeah i get those comments as well. Some of the people says wow, you can write good. I"m like eh... okay, thank you....

:shrug: some of my friends thought i'm hearing or hard of hearing, i'm like nooo, just because i talk without signing few times. oh well -- i guess it varies on everyone what they think of you individually.

 

[deafdyke]

When I had my proposal reviewed for approval, the chairperson said to me... "Wow, you write so well!" I was thinking, "WTF!?"

Apparently, he didn't expect me to write so well considering I was deaf.

Yeah, but maybe it wasn't about your deafness........maybe he just meant you write well in general.

 

[Raykat]

The one about sex is common around here too, also "how do you have kids"...thru me dam ears of course!!!!!

 

[Interpretrator]

Yeah, but maybe it wasn't about your deafness........maybe he just meant you write well in general.

True. What department are you in? In undergrad I got called into my art history professor's office and questioned about "why do you write so well?" because apparently he suspected plagiarism. When I told him I was a writing major, he said "Oh, that explains it; art history majors can't write."

 

[Liza]

The one about sex is common around here too, also "how do you have kids"...thru me dam ears of course!!!!!

You should have given them a demo - thrust out your hips...
OR
That or tell 'em you like kids deep-fried...

Silly questions deserve silly answers.