"Oh, you speak so well!" and other annoying comments

You would think fast food establishments would require some bit of training on how to handle customers with disabilities (not meaning that in a bad way folks) Such as if someone comes in and they are legally blind, either hand them a braille menu from behind the counter or read the menu to them. If a deaf/hoh person comes in they will usually let you know with some sort of gesture or they will have a pen and paper with them to converse back and forth. If they do not have pen and paper then the cashier needs to get out the pen and paper from behind the counter. Your'e still conducting buisness as usual, you just have to accomodate to your customers needs to ensure there is no miss-communication, when that happens, tempers usually flare and both parties are left less than happy.
 
Dixie said:
You would think fast food establishments would require some bit of training on how to handle customers with disabilities (not meaning that in a bad way folks) Such as if someone comes in and they are legally blind, either hand them a braille menu from behind the counter or read the menu to them. If a deaf/hoh person comes in they will usually let you know with some sort of gesture or they will have a pen and paper with them to converse back and forth. If they do not have pen and paper then the cashier needs to get out the pen and paper from behind the counter. Your'e still conducting buisness as usual, you just have to accomodate to your customers needs to ensure there is no miss-communication, when that happens, tempers usually flare and both parties are left less than happy.
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Ahh, that reminds me of a story my friend told me.
This friend knew limited ASL, and she was working at McDonalds. A deaf woman comes in, wanted a 1/4 pounder and a large fry. How did she get the message across? Held up 4 fingers, pounded a fist into her palm and pointed to the fries behind the counter and did the sign for "big/large". Got the message across... Sometimes you have to think as a hearing person, think of a way for them to understand and be patient.
 
One time I never forget!

At Food store..

Man tried spoke me.. I told him that I am deaf.. He F*&K Loudly talked to me while many peoples looked at us! My face turn RED :ugh:
 
it's funny when customers approcach me and didnt' realize I'm deaf.. one became so cold when she found out I'm deaf.. sheesh blah. I don't give a damn about customers but as long I work and I usually let other co worker take care of customers who doesn't know how to deal with ME... :)
 
I say that i'm hard of hearing, and I still get decent responses out of people...

But, lets see, the last time I heard "Oh, you speak so well" from an adult was... my VR Counsilor back in high school, back before I was even aware of my deafness other than "damnit, i need another battery." Annoys me more that I think about it.
 
I think that all of those comments are patronizing and may be even condesending. I do my best to treat deaf people as equals in every way. I do think that many of those comments come from ignorance and are not intended to insult or be negative. Most people probably think they are paying a compliment. Thus the ignorance.
 
I don't know how this applies, but I was at the hotel where my brother's graduation was held and a friend and I were walking down the street. I had been listening to some music prior to her running into me and since the wires were under my shirt, I had left the earbuds in my ears. It was a more private conversation and since we were able to communicate in sign, we were signing to eachother. Well, we came across a very large group of teenagers who were blocking the path. My friend said excuse me, and the group silenced, looking to her, then to me, and in unison, jumped to one side, gesturing that they were sorry (or I think they meant that, who knows, it was like signed gibberish) and one even saying that he was sorry I couldn't hear. Not wanting to embarrass them further by telling them I was hearing, we continued on and continued our conversation. I found it rather hilarious in that I, if I had never gone to the school I attend, probably would have been that way in that situation. I don't understand why people mistake earbuds for hearing aids. They don't look similar.
 
rockdrummer said:
I think that all of those comments are patronizing and may be even condesending. I do my best to treat deaf people as equals in every way. I do think that many of those comments come from ignorance and are not intended to insult or be negative. Most people probably think they are paying a compliment. Thus the ignorance.
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Most of the time the people who say that dont intend to be patronizing or condesending. Just the problem that it happens so often and I get tired and annoyed by it even though I know it wasnt meant to insult me. At least we can look back and laugh about them. :)
 
sculleywr said:
I don't know how this applies, but I was at the hotel where my brother's graduation was held and a friend and I were walking down the street. I had been listening to some music prior to her running into me and since the wires were under my shirt, I had left the earbuds in my ears. It was a more private conversation and since we were able to communicate in sign, we were signing to eachother. Well, we came across a very large group of teenagers who were blocking the path. My friend said excuse me, and the group silenced, looking to her, then to me, and in unison, jumped to one side, gesturing that they were sorry (or I think they meant that, who knows, it was like signed gibberish) and one even saying that he was sorry I couldn't hear. Not wanting to embarrass them further by telling them I was hearing, we continued on and continued our conversation. I found it rather hilarious in that I, if I had never gone to the school I attend, probably would have been that way in that situation. I don't understand why people mistake earbuds for hearing aids. They don't look similar.
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This actually reminds me of this one time when my friend was shopping at a local department store. He's hearing and was listening to music with his headphones. One of his friends was a cashier who he met through ASL class, and so, he went up to her and he signed to her and she would sign back. The customers were watching back and forth, when they finished talking and Kevin(my friend) left that area, one of the customers asked her "Why is that deaf guy listening to music?" (They apparently could hear the music)
Both Kevin and I found that funny! :topic: I know sorry!!

-Krista
 
I can understand how some people would react the way Krista and scully described.. there's a certain view of deaf people or people who sign that they're all deaf.. I think people assume that if you sign, you are deaf. Which, yes, is ridiculous, but that's the way they may have been taught. not everyone will think you're hearing or an interpreter... they may assume you're deaf...
 
BearBeauty said:
I can understand how some people would react the way Krista and scully described.. there's a certain view of deaf people or people who sign that they're all deaf.. I think people assume that if you sign, you are deaf. Which, yes, is ridiculous, but that's the way they may have been taught. not everyone will think you're hearing or an interpreter... they may assume you're deaf...
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Very true, some people aren't even aware that there are interpreters for the deaf, they just assume that Deaf people use ASL with deaf people and pen and paper with hearing people. It's very interesting to learn how some people have been raised to view the world, both deaf and hearing. Most haven't been exposed to ASL/Deaf Culture ever before, which makes it a life lesson for some. Thankfully, most children tv shows have some ASL in them. One of them being Blue's Clues. My little cousin learned several signs from that show and still remembers them(He's almost seven now).
 
I am hearing but I am the opposite of people who comment that. I wish people who are deaf would not talk. It gives people the assumption that they can read lips as well which is not true at all most times. I have a deaf friend who went deaf suddenly at 25 who talks just as clear and well as anyone else and it pisses me off. I always tell him not to talk to me. Sign. People think Im the deaf one when we are together because he talks soooooo much. I also dont like when I am trying to learn more sign and deaf people get mad at how slow I am and start letting someone who is HOH translate between us. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET BETTER IF THEY DO THAT? GGGGGGRRRRRRR!!!:pissed: ( and that is my rant as well)
 
PandoraMorticia said:
I am hearing but I am the opposite of people who comment that. I wish people who are deaf would not talk. It gives people the assumption that they can read lips as well which is not true at all most times. I have a deaf friend who went deaf suddenly at 25 who talks just as clear and well as anyone else and it pisses me off. I always tell him not to talk to me. Sign. People think Im the deaf one when we are together because he talks soooooo much. I also dont like when I am trying to learn more sign and deaf people get mad at how slow I am and start letting someone who is HOH translate between us. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET BETTER IF THEY DO THAT? GGGGGGRRRRRRR!!!:pissed: ( and that is my rant as well)
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It's hard to learn new languages. I took eight years of french, none of it got into my head. And my signing is very rusty.
I have to point out of how people were raised. If deaf children were born into a hearing family, that hearing family has two choices. Raise the child vocally or using ASL. If the family has never been exposed to ASL, chances are that they will want to raise their child vocally. Then later in life, that same child might want to learn ASL. However, if a deaf child is born into a deaf family, usually one choice, ASL.
Not all deaf people know ASL, either due to never being exposed to it, or not being born with the deafness. The same goes with hearing people. If you've never been exposed to it, you're never going to know about it, and most likely will be more ignorant.
If a deaf person cannot read lips, but can talk, then it's the responsiblity of that same deaf person to TELL the other person that. Or else things are just going to go downhill.
If deaf people get mad at you for being slow, then try to explain to them that you're learning, and thus the slowness. I've had deaf people be mad at me until they learned I'm not deaf and I only had level 2 ASL.

-Krista
 
PandoraMorticia said:
I am hearing but I am the opposite of people who comment that. I wish people who are deaf would not talk. It gives people the assumption that they can read lips as well which is not true at all most times. I have a deaf friend who went deaf suddenly at 25 who talks just as clear and well as anyone else and it pisses me off. I always tell him not to talk to me. Sign. People think Im the deaf one when we are together because he talks soooooo much. I also dont like when I am trying to learn more sign and deaf people get mad at how slow I am and start letting someone who is HOH translate between us. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET BETTER IF THEY DO THAT? GGGGGGRRRRRRR!!!:pissed: ( and that is my rant as well)
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Yea I understand what u are saying. When I first went to Gallaudet, deaf people would talk to me instead of signing cuz I was just becoming fluent in ASL or "dumb" down their signing even though I am deaf. I told them not to do that..some stopped and some didnt. As I became more fluent in ASL, that problem became more minimal.
 
I think what shel said is true in any language. I used to work in a chicken plant and 90% of the workers there are non-English speaking Hispanics. (dont get me started on that), and I knew some Spanish from high school and college, but I wasnt fluent in it. The hispanics often talked down to me when I wanted make sure they got the message by speaking to them in Spanish. It was annoying, but the more fluent I became the less they seemed to speak down to me. And I admit I probably do the same thing to them without realizing it when they are speaking English because well we are in America and I speak English and not Spanish.

I know my ASL is far from fluent, but I am slowly learning. My hope is to put my best effort into it and to become fluent in it and to eventually socially converse with the deaf/hoh community in person instead of over the internet - I would be very willing to attend a deaf event in my state once I feel like I can sign some things in ASL such as hi, how are you, I'm (my name), whats yours? Then possibly dive off into a small conversation about why we're there at the event and why I've learned ASL.

As for Blue's Clues, They recently started doing the live show with the puppets instead of the animation, but the only sign I remember Steve using was the one for 'smart' where they flick the hand upward and away from the forehead. If there are other signs, which ones are they? Next time I sit down with my DD to watch reruns of the animated Blue's Clues, I'll try and watch out for them. I'm always up for something new.
 
Dixie said:
I think what shel said is true in any language. I used to work in a chicken plant and 90% of the workers there are non-English speaking Hispanics. (dont get me started on that), and I knew some Spanish from high school and college, but I wasnt fluent in it. The hispanics often talked down to me when I wanted make sure they got the message by speaking to them in Spanish. It was annoying, but the more fluent I became the less they seemed to speak down to me. And I admit I probably do the same thing to them without realizing it when they are speaking English because well we are in America and I speak English and not Spanish.

I know my ASL is far from fluent, but I am slowly learning. My hope is to put my best effort into it and to become fluent in it and to eventually socially converse with the deaf/hoh community in person instead of over the internet - I would be very willing to attend a deaf event in my state once I feel like I can sign some things in ASL such as hi, how are you, I'm (my name), whats yours? Then possibly dive off into a small conversation about why we're there at the event and why I've learned ASL.

As for Blue's Clues, They recently started doing the live show with the puppets instead of the animation, but the only sign I remember Steve using was the one for 'smart' where they flick the hand upward and away from the forehead. If there are other signs, which ones are they? Next time I sit down with my DD to watch reruns of the animated Blue's Clues, I'll try and watch out for them. I'm always up for something new.
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Thank you is the only other sign that i saw on that show.
 
personally when i communicate with people learning.. I try to sign slow so they understand the signs.. I try not to "dumb down" the signs.. I know sometimes I might do that, but I don't mean to.

With my boyfriend, who is learning, I talk and sign at the same time. he seems to understand the signs as long as I talk.. and if he doesn't understand the sign, he will copy it and ask what does that mean? so i fingerspell the word, and if the sign has more than one meaning.. like the sign for nice, I explain to him how that works.
 
Dixie said:
As for Blue's Clues, They recently started doing the live show with the puppets instead of the animation, but the only sign I remember Steve using was the one for 'smart' where they flick the hand upward and away from the forehead. If there are other signs, which ones are they? Next time I sit down with my DD to watch reruns of the animated Blue's Clues, I'll try and watch out for them. I'm always up for something new.
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Yes, its the animated Blue's Clues that have the ASL.
I remember, Thank you, Book, Help, Smart, Think(although I'm not sure if he was just using it because it's an obvious sign). Can't remember any others. But there is a movie of Blue's Clues with ASL in it... Here it is on Amazon..

Blue's Clues - All Kinds of Signs

I just looked on Wikipedia(Love that site) and it says this about Blue's Clues
The hosts use a few American Sign Language signs during the show, signing words like smart, help, or adventure and also thank you as they speak them. ASL is not used consistently enough to teach ASL to a child, but those who are already learning ASL may enjoy seeing a tiny modicum of sign in a mainstream program.
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Sorry, off topic again!!

-Krista
 
i get the wow u can speak comment all the time and i say yah 18 yrs of this and its part of life and then i change the subject thats all there is to it or if they say WOW u speak well i say thank you, change subject thats all there is to it. but i ll never forget when i was a kid i had the bte fm system and OMG im walking with one on my hip with mom next to me and they say what's the score i say here u can listen and there goes my hearing aid SQUEALING he looked embarrassed and walked away mom was saying DXXX i said yes? not nice DXXX i said well tell them to stop asking stupid questions!
 
Hearing people who compliment on how you speak is just that... a compliment. They don't mean it in any other way. You have to understand that most hearing people have no clue about the deaf culture and don't think that they are upsetting you. If they find out your deaf, many of them automatically think that you can't communicate verbally and when they hear you talk, they are surprised. My daughter is deaf and i hear it all the time but i take it as a compliment more than anything else.
 
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