my sister & drugs "Paraphernalia and crack-cocain

I don't see ^Angel^ being naive at all. She is just speaking out of her love for her family.
 
How are they able to help themsevles when the drugs is effecting their minds and their bodies?

Look I didn't post here to agrue, I have my own view regarding this, you and the others see it differently but I see it the other way around, it called tough love, you got to push them to get the help they need whatever it takes, then they will relized that they have a problem and they need to get off of it...

But walking away from the problem, isn't going to help her sister get better, she's allowing the drug taking control of her life and pushing her families and her sister away, she doesn't relized she is hurting them cause she dont see it hurting herself, sometimes it takes a biggest mountain to climb up on top for them to relized they have a problem....

Without them facing the problem they're having right in front of them, then who there to help them see it? no one , cause they walk away from helping that person out .....
 
ButterflyGirl said:
I don't see ^Angel^ being naive at all. She is just speaking out of her love for her family.
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:lol: Thank you Butterflygirl...btw I love your avatar... :hug:
 
^Angel^ said:
How are they able to help themsevles when the drugs is effecting their minds and their bodies?

Look I didn't post here to agrue, I have my own view regarding this, you and the others see it differently but I see it the other way around, it called tough love, you got to push them to get the help they need whatever it takes, then they will relized that they have a problem and they need to get off of it...

But walking away from the problem, isn't going to help her sister get better, she's allowing the drug taking control of her life and pushing her families and her sister away, she doesn't relized she is hurting them cause she dont see it hurting herself, sometimes it takes a biggest mountain to climb up on top for them to relized they have a problem....

Without them facing the problem they're having right in front of them, then who there to help them see it? no one , cause they walk away from helping that person out .....
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Why dont you help to deaf homeless drug addicts in your area? Let me know what is your result after six months...

Believe me it does not worth of your time...
 
^Angel^ said:
How are they able to help themsevles when the drugs is effecting their minds and their bodies?

Look I didn't post here to agrue, I have my own view regarding this, you and the others see it differently but I see it the other way around, it called tough love, you got to push them to get the help they need whatever it takes, then they will relized that they have a problem and they need to get off of it...

But walking away from the problem, isn't going to help her sister get better, she's allowing the drug taking control of her life and pushing her families and her sister away, she doesn't relized she is hurting them cause she dont see it hurting herself, sometimes it takes a biggest mountain to climb up on top for them to relized they have a problem....

Without them facing the problem they're having right in front of them, then who there to help them see it? no one , cause they walk away from helping that person out .....
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True she is part of her family and will always be but u can not help junkie. Lieberg said her family helped her many time and She still is refused to get well, what suppose the family do for her? She does not want to stop do it. What are u going to do about it? She already knows and know how it is dangerous but she does not care.

Tough love I know what is all about, lieberg's dad is doing tough love for her already. Hope this time she sees it around and decide to get help in different way.
 
Mookie said:
Why dont you help to deaf homeless drug addicts in your area? Let me know what is your result after six months...

Believe me it does not worth of your time...
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I agree with you, after dealing with them for many years. I got the pix.
 
Okay....I won't say no more.... *peace*...:ily:
 
ButterflyGirl said:
I don't see ^Angel^ being naive at all. She is just speaking out of her love for her family.
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I am glad u speak out for her, I see her a wonderful mother and glad she is doing great with her own family but it is not same for every family alike this one. Alike I said she is naive on something so am I too naive on something too. No big deal anyone said to me I am naive but if i said it it may offended her then I am sorry. I thought she is strong enough to stand up for herself but I am wrong.
 
jazzy said:
Your sister Tanja really love her, I can see that and want to help her to get well. I have a dear friend who lost a brother to alcohol years ago. His family gave up on help him out with his drinking problems. He became homeless and lived on street for 10 years because he does not want to stop drinking. He made a choice and it break his own mothers heart. Every year on his birthday no one call his mother on that day because she loves him so much. He made that choice by disconnect with his own family and even right before he died, he told his social worker he does not have any family. When u see any homeless people, u will see they do have home and family waiting for them to come home but they have to make choice to give up drinking or drugs. Nothing they can do about them. I hope your sister unds why u have to do this to Sue. It is only way for her to stop drugs by her own choice.
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It´s sad to read your post about your friend who lost her brother to alochol. I thought about Sue... I keep ask to myself why why why Sue do that. Why she let drugs to destory her life and also hurt the whole family. Yes, I can understand because my mother is an aloholic... She started to drink when I was teenager and live at homeless... Now Sue... :(

It´s not just Tanja who love Sue so much but me, my Dad and brother. Sue & I were closed like twins when we grew up together... (we are one year apart). We shared our secret, problem etc until she met the father of her 2 children whom he is married man and then met other man to produce 3rd child together... the life got her depression and feel being tied down with 3 kids... she started smoking pot to calm her stress then start to addict drug more and more until she use needle at last... Tanja had a lot of problem with Sue... Tanja do nothing for Sue but Dad & my brother... Now she is panic because Dad and my brother stop do for her... If Tanja think she can help her then do that when Dad´s & brother´s help doesn´t work since 1993 to 2005. I last saw Sue in 2000 and have a long talk with her... She feel good to have me to be good listener to her which Dad, Tanja & my brother didn´t.

It´s hard for us to accept what Sue is... It´s her life, she wants. If she really want to be clean then do that herself because our help doesn´t work or hospitals also doesn´t work, too.

*I´m still typing a letter to her and tell her directly*
 
I'm sorry to hear about your sister's drug problems. :( What she needs is "tough love" and be made to go get professional help to kick her addiction.

Here's hoping your sister can conquer her addiction soon.
 
I can image that same thing as my best friend does... I leave her alone because she angry at me.. being help her..
So I gave it up and let her go.. Not easy for me.. Breaking my heart.. I used to be hang around w/her since childhood until stopped last year.. :(
Sometimes I do feeling myself being am I failed ??? That emotions inside my heart bleeding.. as same extactly Liebling feeling and have no choice let her sister go... which she is very addict drugs..
Don't worry about Tania what did she really terrible wrong thing to you.. Let them go.. until one day she'll relaized how much she mistake what she done to you... badly..
 
Forgive me for not response your post an earlier since I was busy to debate at other thread to neglect my thread here.

^Angel^ said:
How are they able to help themsevles when the drugs is effecting their minds and their bodies?
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Yes, I know. If anyone who want to stop then go to hospitail to rid addict with strong willing if they really want the help. The drug addict is similar as smoking, they are hard to give up... but they can do that with their strong willing. Sue had been at hospitail dozen of times but it doesn't work... She admitted my Dad & brother Mike that she is drug addict. It means that she know it why she don't want to give up? If she want it then her choice. I know it's very hard to accept what she really wants.

Look I didn't post here to agrue, I have my own view regarding this, you and the others see it differently but I see it the other way around, it called tough love, you got to push them to get the help they need whatever it takes, then they will relized that they have a problem and they need to get off of it...
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Yes, I know you are not looking for agrue but suggestion what you think in your view... I appreciate your suggestion very much. Remember that your suggestion/feedback is welcome...

But walking away from the problem, isn't going to help her sister get better, she's allowing the drug taking control of her life and pushing her families and her sister away, she doesn't relized she is hurting them cause she dont see it hurting herself, sometimes it takes a biggest mountain to climb up on top for them to relized they have a problem....

Without them facing the problem they're having right in front of them, then who there to help them see it? no one , cause they walk away from helping that person out .....
Click to expand...
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Dad & Mike tried many times to help her since 1993 which it's long time for them patience with her... It's time for them to let her go... It's hard for me but I has to support them because I know they did awful alot for her and risk their life for her. Dad bail my sister out of jail few times and also got her out of hospitail dozen of times because Sue promised him that she will rid of drugs but she didn't. Sue accussed and label Dad nasty names... how selfish he is etc. etc. etc. It's hard for Dad to listen Sue's nasty words against him because he knows it's drugs fault to get her aggressive. Now Sue is 41 years old. She knows she is drug addict and knows that she hurt us but she don't care.
 
Autumn Tree said:
I'm sorry to hear about your sister's drug problems. :( What she needs is "tough love" and be made to go get professional help to kick her addiction.

Here's hoping your sister can conquer her addiction soon.
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Thank you... Yes, she did already dozen of times but it doesnt working because she refused to get the help... :(
 
GalaxyAngel said:
I can image that same thing as my best friend does... I leave her alone because she angry at me.. being help her..
So I gave it up and let her go.. Not easy for me.. Breaking my heart.. I used to be hang around w/her since childhood until stopped last year.. :(
Sometimes I do feeling myself being am I failed ??? That emotions inside my heart bleeding.. as same extactly Liebling feeling and have no choice let her sister go... which she is very addict drugs..
Don't worry about Tania what did she really terrible wrong thing to you.. Let them go.. until one day she'll relaized how much she mistake what she done to you... badly..
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Yes, I'm agree with you. I has a good memory about Sue how good time we were... before drugs destory her life... She's very heavy drug addict. It's hurt. :(


Yes, we feel being fail sometimes how to help her which we tried many times... I last saw her in 2000 and have a long and good talk with her. She feel good after talk with me because I'm good listener. I told her that did she know she do that to her children and family. She said yes, she know and want to stop it but it's too strong... She admitted herself to me that she is rotten & selfish mother and make her children unhappy and hurt the family. She hate our mom to death after what she did to her... She said that I'm f@@king lucky for not copy my mother because I spend at boarding school and learn from there many years...
 
I wrote this email to Tanja. I admitted that I'm too open and direct to her - perhaps hurt her but I has no choice because it's truth since she accussed me in the 6 whole pages letter which it's unacceptance.

What do you think of this? Please don't be scare to open what you think of this... I appreciate your feedback and opinion... :thumb:

Hello Tanja,

I received your 6 pages letter last Saturday. I can tell thru your letters that you are like Sue. I really has no idea what you are talking about. *dunno*. I'm trying to positive your negative letters where you made toward me instead of play immature childish game with you.

1. You should stop me in first place if you do not wish to receive the further emails from me.

2. You said that you want to express your disappointment with me because of Sue. I'm sorry how you feel like this but we all are adult and choose to lead our own life. I can see that you & Sue are helpless like small children, but if you both want to be treated as responsible adults, then do that.

3. Did you know that Dad & Mike did awful alot for Sue in the past? Did Sue realize how much she hurts her whole family? Is it okay to risk Dad's & Mike's life to get druggies out of Sue's place because they want to help Sue? Can you explain me what's this? Did you know it could kill them? My husband & I support Dad's & Mike's decision to leave Sue alone because we know they doing right things to keep away from her. We accept the fact what Sue is & what she wants because she's old enough to choose kind of life she wants if she want clean then do that herself instead of depend on Dad ALL THE TIME. Do you expect Dad & Mike babysit Sue?

4. You said that Sue are lonely & need a sister. Don't forget that I live in Germany & have a family, I take care of. Dad & Mike have their own life. You are old enough to make your own decision what you do with your life instead of label us as bad persons & judge us what to do since we have our own life, we worry about. What about you? How could you help Sue then? If you think you CAN help Sue then Good Luck. :)

5. You said that you negative Aunt about me & got her to suggest you to write me what you think of me & how I behave toward Sue for years etc. Unfortunlately, you didn't know my side. I gave Aunt positive about you how much I am proud of you & your talent etc until I saw your letter for a first time. *speechless* I began realize that I'm wrong about you & you are not person what I thought for a long time. *shake the head*

6. You said that you lived without my love for 30 years. Well, I spend many years at boarding school since I was 3 years old than at home with parents & then at Grandparents. I came home on school holidays, not every weekends. I last saw you as toddler before you was taken away. Yes, I know that my attitude toward my siblings & parents are total different because I was brought up by stricter discipline & was taught a lot by boarding school different than you & my siblings learned from parents. Could you explain me how? or Do you still want to blame me for that?

7. You said that I didn't even buy Sue a kettle, label me as money pinching meanness, rude, etc. For your information: My husband & I have no problem to treat anyone where we stay for our holiday because we knows our manner. :) We really have no idea what Sue negative you about our manner behavior in her house. It's sad to know that our support for Susan & her family are not good enough for her. Well about kettle subject: Sue can't rely/make misery on anyone to replace a kettle because her kettle is blow up & expect anyone feel pity for her. I has to learn to cope myself if something damage in my house with NO rely anyone for support. She was offended when I tried to teach her how to take care of kettle since she told me that it's her 3rd time. Why can't she buy it herself instead of buy nonsense things like daily hire video, weekly "hello" magazine, etc. I don't beleive to replace the damage where someone made. It's ME... It's bad luck if you or Sue are still not accept it. Anyway I has no problem with my children for their respect because they know our rule that replace something for the damage my children made is not acceptance. They should pay themselves if they want to have one since they have month allowance from us or wait until Birthday, Easter or Christmas. Its about responsible, they should learn to cope. Example: my son Alan & his mates play football & the ball hit the window accidently at 2 years ago. Did you know how much window cost? Did I complaint to anyone for replace a new window? No, I didn't because I know it's my responsible as parent to share the cost with other parents of Alan's mates to replace a new window, not anyone. That's how Susan should learn how to cope her own responsible if something happened instead of make misery to anyone for replacement.

8. You do not need to feel sorry for me because I accept my deafness long time ago. I'm happy and sataisfy that way what I am. Everything what we have thru our hard working and show our positive about our deafness.

9. Before I'm going to end to write this email to you, I would like to make 4 questions for you.

1. Did my husband & I forbid you or anyone to come to visit us for holiday?

2. Did you hear our complaint that nobody in my British family come to visit us for holiday for over 20 years?

3. Have you hear our complaint for spend money for take flight to England and plus support them several times?

4. Have you hear our complaint that you or anyone prefer to fly to other countries for holiday than visit to see us in Germany?

No, we haven't but it's our voluntarily to visit to see British family because we are happy & want to see them. Why have you or anyone make out of misery on us?

I want to be honest with you that I do not feel angry, guilty or been put down by your letter as what you thought in your letter but *rolleye*. All what I want say is you need a professional help then you should not end like Sue as "helpless child". I would recommend you to go therapy to improve your esteem, then write me again when you feel better.

Have a great day.

Mxxxx
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1. You need to believe in God, very seriously.

2. Find a place, privacy, go to church if you have to.

3. Read one of the Bible psalms

4. Pray hard for your family and your sister and mother..... for a long time.
Talk to God.... and confess and confide.
Let God help you and your family.

5. Don't expect miracle to happen suddenly, because it will slowly progress.

Amen.
 
Liebling,

You stated that you received a letter from your sister, a negative one, correct? You also said that she is on drugs for many years correct? Ok let's be aware that being on drugs is a disease that can cause a loss of control, when people are on drugs they might say or do something that would hurt you and the family. It is very hard for her to admit that she has a problem, because drugs influence her mind and her emotions she a very ill person because of drugs she is taking control her life. Drugs simply hide feelings and problems. When a drug wears off, the feelings and problems remain or become worse. Drugs can ruin every aspect of a person's life, and others around her.


With me, If my children happened to be on drugs, I'll stand by their side all the way no matter how hard they tried to push me away, I cannot leave them and I won't. I would get my children the help they need, take them to an experienced drugs counselor if it takes forever let it be, I do believe it would be a very frustrating situation but I refused to turn my back on them. I care about them so much and I want them to be aware that drugs don't solve anything! If I have to take a trip with them to the morgue I would show them that if they keep on doing drugs, that's where their bodies will go. :(

I can understand that she is now older and has her own life and I know it's hard to help her when she refused to get the treatment she needs in order to help her quit. But, let me tell you one thing, Don't turn your back on her, She will always be your sister no matter how much she had hurt your feelings. It's the drug that is making her this way and it's out of her control to show love and caring for others around her, because it's way impossible for her to do that. I feel so bad for your sister and the situation she is into. I hope she does seek help before it's too late. I would hate to see someone die due from overdose.
 
Mookie said:
Why dont you help to deaf homeless drug addicts in your area? Let me know what is your result after six months...

Believe me it does not worth of your time...
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Have you been thru it before yourself? it wouldn't be worth your time even it was your loved one??? think about it if you were in our shoes before you say it wouldn't be worth our time.

Alot of people can handle taking care of drug addicts perhaps you're not the one to be able to handle it. people go thru it everyday of their lives trying to help and doing the best they can do.. it would be worth it knowing that we did the best we could do to help.. deep down, they know we tried and loved them no matter what
 
My cousin just turned himself into a rehab last week for Meth addict. He just gave his son away to New Jersey to be with his mom. :( He said he almost died from taking too much. My god.. when I saw him recently.. he was soo skinny.. that i can see his bones sticking out and his face has turned wrinkles.. his teeth are rottening.. I feel bad .. i do know its a disease but i love him no matter what. He's getting the help he can get and i hope he can stick with it.
 
RebelGirl said:
My cousin just turned himself into a rehab last week for Meth addict. He just gave his son away to New Jersey to be with his mom. :( He said he almost died from taking too much. My god.. when I saw him recently.. he was soo skinny.. that i can see his bones sticking out and his face has turned wrinkles.. his teeth are rottening.. I feel bad .. i do know its a disease but i love him no matter what. He's getting the help he can get and i hope he can stick with it.
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Awww, That's great that he is getting the help he need, and I'm glad you stood by his side no matter what. :hug: I'm sure he is proud to have a good cousin like you. ;)
 
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