"My daughter just turned 5 and she has a progressive loss. She was born hearing but now has a "severe" loss, around 85 db. She wears hearing aids and has since she was 18 months. We are raising her with access to speech and ASL, but she prefers ASL so she is in a bi-bi school for the Deaf.
I know as a hearing parent it is tempting to believe that you can use technology to "fix" your child. Often, that just doesn't happen. I feel like the most important thing to consider is your whole child. Are the hundreds of hours of auditory training and speech therapy the best thing? Maybe they will learn to speak and listen, but maybe not. I believe those therapies sessions are not best for MY daughter. Failing breaks her spirit, and she is just not good at it. I would rather put her in situations in which she can succeed, and for us that meant an ASL enviroment.
Please do your own research. Doctors have a viewpoint, but they do not have the same perspective as someone who has lived it. PLEASE speak to deaf adults, both oral and ASL users. Ask them what their parents did and what they would do with their own deaf children. They are a resourse whose point of view is the most vaild.
Something like 90% of deaf children are born to hearing parents, and almost ALL are raised orally, but that doesn't mean it is the right choice. Learning ASL was difficult for us, but learning to listen has been infinatly MORE difficult for my daughter. I have access to 100% of the visual information, she doesn't have that kind of access to speech. Plus, I am the mother, she is the child, it is my job to bring language to her, not force her to learn my language because it is easier for me. I must meet her needs, even if it is hard.
I have a very different perspective than most hearing parents, and I learned it by talking to deaf adults. We are discussing a CI with our audiologist and my daughter, so I have no problem with the technology, my issue is with the rest. I do not believe that a deaf child should be raised oral only, no matter what. I think that they need visual language. Listening is their weakness, it isn't fair to force a child to learn all information using their "handicap". They never have 100% access through listening...NEVER. And that is not ok with me.
Again, I know this is an overwhelming time and you have many decisions to make, but I wanted to add another viewpoint. I congratulate you on the birth of your child!"
I too am a hearing parent of a deaf child, however, we never viewed the use of technology such as hearing aids, cochlear implants, braces, corrective shoes, etc. that she has had or still has as attmepting to "fix" our child. What we viewed the technology that we chose to give to her as, were opportunities for her to develop and grow to her fullest potential.
Personally, I find the use of the term "fix" when applied to children such as my child offensive and as to parents of these children disrespectful of our choices. Choices that you obviously have no idea the time, effort, research and anxiety that went into them.
The "hundreds" of hours spent in auditory training for our child are most likely no different then the "hundreds" of hours you have devoted to teaching sign to your child. If you think that the choice to expose profoundly deaf children to oral language is made because it is"easier" then you are woefully mistaken. If you think that giving our daughter the opportunity to learn to hear and to speak was done by "force" then it really is demonstrative of how little you know and understand about those who have chosen to raise their deaf child orally.
Amazingly, just like you, we chose to do what was in our daughter's best interests. Unlike you, as my daughter is now 21 and makes her own choices, not only do my wife and I know, but most importantly, our daughter knows we made the right choices for her. You still have years to go before you will know if you made the right choices for your 5 year old. I hope for her sake that you have.
Yes, you do have a different perspective then most of the hearing parents of deaf children that I know for they, like my wife and I, acknowledge the fact that there is no one "best" or "right" way to raise any child, even a deaf child. They, like we, know that what is best for our child is not necessarily best for other children.
To the parents of the child who posed the original question, I would advise you to learn as much as you can, to speak to as many deaf adults, children and parents and spouses of deaf people as you can. Ultimately, do what you think is in your child's best interests but do not feel that your decisions are set in stone. Keep an open mind and be willing to change to meet you child's needs at all times.
Best of luck,
Rick