Mom sprayed 2 year-old for tantrum

DefMATRIXense said:
I hate to tell you guys but I agree with the mother. A 2 years old child CANT learn anything what's right and what's wrong until the child is enough to grasp. I am not jumping to the wrong conclusion like you guys did until you heard the side of the mother's story. Well, I would have done it if I were the mother, thats not because of her punishment but because she peed herself and needs clean up. In Spanish world, parents believe that strict disciplining a child is the best way to learn. Tough love instead child abuse is an expression used when someone treats another person harshly or sternly with the intent to help them in the long run.

In most uses, there must be some actual love or feeling of affection behind the harsh or stern treatment to be defined as tough love. For example, mother sprays to clean her wetted daughter until she stops doing again that would be said to be practicing tough love.

Yeah just words do not work sometimes.
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You have got to be kidding me. This is NOT tough love by any definition. This is abuse. Is it also okay to beat a child black and blue if you claim to be doing it out of love? Teaching a child a lesson, and punishing them abusively are 2 different things. You don't have to go tho measures this extreme to teach a child a lesson. This is beyond stern. This is beyond harsh. This is abusive. This was a 2 year old toddler, not a drunken teenager. And this form of punishment would have even been too harsh for a teenager.
 
Oh no ,I was shocked to see such a small child being hit with a power wash inches away from her face and tiny little body .:nono:
 
SweetOrchid said:
I understand your part. Both those parents does not set any privileges and they are little from age 4 to 1 years old. The 4 years old should know better, but most of the times when she does something and knows she is going to be punished, she would start crying like a baby. When I observe to see how she would punish her. She would say "Did I spank you?" or Why are you crying?". That would go on nonstop crying until she get what she wants. I told her that she should ignore that.

A few minutes after the child stop crying then she would go to her mommy for a hug. SHEESH! I wouldn't reward her a hug for that kind of behavior that she did earlier with that tantrum and crying. THAT'S A BIG NO NO!:nono: I would hug her when she apologize and say "Mommy, Sorry for being bad". OHH BOY THANKS for reminding me of something that I should watch SUPERNANNY with her and her boyfriend. I'm sure they'll learn something.:hmm:
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Sound like the mother dont give them love and attention hence why the little ones do this to get attention by being punished? I could be wrong? You are right this is not right. :dunno2:
 
Some kids are so attention-starved that they will act out to seek attention, even if it is negative attention, it is still attention, and it's stimulating for them. They seek out what they want until they find it.
 
Dixie said:
Some kids are so attention-starved that they will act out to seek attention, even if it is negative attention, it is still attention, and it's stimulating for them. They seek out what they want until they find it.
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yes you are right. I was not thinking clearly due to being high on medication but that what i was trying to find right word. attention-starved and you got it right on!

it is possible that kids are being attention-starved due to not being attended to much? so the kids would do anything to get attention by negative attention? this is not the right way. this will lead to emotional problem later on in life. It definitely is not a tough love.
 
More times than not mom or dad or both sit the baby on the floor to play with a few toys quietly while they watch TV, when the baby gets fussy they ignore it until it escalates at which point they get up and reluctantly so to change its diaper or to give it a bottle.

Once my cousin-by-marriage was at her grandma's and we were getting set up to have a cook out. I went inside to use the bathroom and you know what? She had her son laying on the couch with a pillow next to him to 'keep him from rolling off' and another pillow over his abdomen with a bottle proped up and stuck in his mouth. He was gagging and his mother was in the other bathroom taking a shower. I grabbed him up and went and banged on the shower door. I shouted WTF are you doing? She didnt care - she just wanted her shower right then and there and just wanted to keep her son occupied while she was in no rush to get around. I was beyond pissed. She just didnt get the fact that her son was fussy because he wanted to be held.

Now the boy is 3 has a younger sister (by a different daddy I might add) and she takes her son to stay with her dad throughout the week, and may or may not drop by to see him on the weekend except maybe to bring him some clean clothes. Then she takes her daughter to the babysitter at 4:30 am and will leave her there until 4:30, 5:00, sometimes 6:00. Its sad because she really doesnt want neither kid to take care of, but yet when they are in her care they face abuse and neglect, and yet when you broach the subject of just signing her rights over to her dad on the fact that the kids are there most of the time anyway she gets mad and pissed that 'we are trying to take her kids away from her."

I honestly believe the only reason she keeps them is for the tax refund money she gets. Its quite a sad situation really. When those two kids grow up they are going to have all sorts of issues.
 
DefMATRIXense said:
I hate to tell you guys but I agree with the mother. A 2 years old child CANT learn anything what's right and what's wrong until the child is enough to grasp. I am not jumping to the wrong conclusion like you guys did until you heard the side of the mother's story. Well, I would have done it if I were the mother, thats not because of her punishment but because she peed herself and needs clean up. In Spanish world, parents believe that strict disciplining a child is the best way to learn. Tough love instead child abuse is an expression used when someone treats another person harshly or sternly with the intent to help them in the long run.

In most uses, there must be some actual love or feeling of affection behind the harsh or stern treatment to be defined as tough love. For example, mother sprays to clean her wetted daughter until she stops doing again that would be said to be practicing tough love.


Yeah just words do not work sometimes.
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I would have no problem with the mother spraying the kid with a regular hose, but not a high-pressure hose.

However, I'm still wondering about what mode she was using on the spray.

I've taken my car to those places before. They usually have like 4 to 8 settings depending on the complexity of the car wash. One mode involves very powerful strong spray. Another is a weak kind of spray. Perhaps, someone thought she was using the strong spray and jumped to conclusions? Who knows.
 
I just watched this video. Unbelievable! What I want to know is, why was there already a big towel in the car? I don't carry a towel around regularly. Maybe it was a blanket. But if she just wet herself, why not just take off her clothes and punish her in a normal way? Why do you need to spray her ALSO? The mother claims she uses time-outs with her kids...why didn't she use a time-out now? The mother is very young...and she definitely needs to take parenting classes. EVERYBODY should have those classes, you don't know how hard it is to deal with a kid until you have one! My friend JUST had a baby and her husband says "wow, it's so much work, I didn't expect this!" You have to learn how to parent a kid...you aren't born knowing it like other animals.
 
Freaky Cat said:
Sound like the mother dont give them love and attention hence why the little ones do this to get attention by being punished? I could be wrong? You are right this is not right. :dunno2:
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She gives them too much ATTENTION an SHOWS LOT OF LOVE than to try and punish them... like put them in a time out or send them to their room and those does not work. They look for an excuse when the parents try punish them. EVEN it's worst when the mother feels guilty AND The worst part is they would come out and start the Water Works to get a hug from their mother then apologize so she'll forget about the punishment. I mean SHE REWARDS them on whatever behavior they comes up with. I'm like OHH THOSE LITTLE BRATS pulls out that trick everytime, but it don't work with me when I babysit them. I'm more harsh than the mother and I would do what I do to punish them, then they try it with me I be like :nono:
 
SweetOrchid said:
She gives them too much ATTENTION an SHOWS LOT OF LOVE than to try and punish them... like put them in a time out or send them to their room and those does not work. They look for an excuse when the parents try punish them. EVEN it's worst when the mother feels guilty AND The worst part is they would come out and start the Water Works to get a hug from their mother then apologize so she'll forget about the punishment. I mean SHE REWARDS them on whatever behavior they comes up with. I'm like OHH THOSE LITTLE BRATS pulls out that trick everytime, but it don't work with me when I babysit them. I'm more harsh than the mother and I would do what I do to punish them, then they try it with me I be like :nono:
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You are going to be a good mother someday, SweetOrchid.
 
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