Making small talk with hearing strangers

CJB said:
I guess it's different where I live. Most strangers are people that see me every day that I will sooner or later need to buy something from, sell something to, or somehow interact with. I've met a lot of people who said that they have seen me walking around before, used to work at a place I go to often...and so on and so forth.

That said, some people just don't like to be rude. Some people care just because it's how they were raised. So what's your suggestion for those of us who don't like to just ignore people?
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That was what I said in my first post...that I felt guilty for being "rude" to them.

FJ, some of us are not naturally rude and cant ignore people no matter how hard we try. It is just not in our nature.
 
faire_jour said:
Why would I give a rat's ass if a stranger who saw me for 10 seconds, and will likely never see me for the rest of my life, thinks I'm rude???
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that's the point.
you aren't me, not shel90, not Alex, nor pfh, you are yourself. You're entitled to your own actions just as much as we are...
If alldeaf was in Indochina, I'd understand that people need to follow a realitylbecause of how that society functions. However, we're obviously located in first world nations and frown upon how those operate due to their inability to allow as much freedom.

Have you noted how much criticism you are receiving from the deafened? Not just one poster, but as from unique replies from various members. It is really stepping into deep waters; you would do better to have an ulterior reason for your justification otherwise it looks like any other radical disruption, unplanned with nothing to accomplish.
 
CJB said:
Here's an idea faire_jour. Turn off your voice for a week. I know it's not the same as being deaf, but you can't stop hearing. You can stop speaking. So turn your voice off for a week. See if you have the patience to explain to every single person that you are mute, need to communicate with pen and paper or ASL. Good day, bad day, doesn't matter. By all means, do not use your voice. If you still have the patience to explain your needs every time, then try at it for a month.
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I would love to witness those hearing people trying to be pretending either deaf or mute. Sad, I never witness them in reality. Is that because they have no time to understand how we deafies deal by approaching hearing people everyday?
 
faire_jour said:
Why would I give a rat's ass if a stranger who saw me for 10 seconds, and will likely never see me for the rest of my life, thinks I'm rude???
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Multiply that meeting with a stranger for 10 seconds by hundreds or thousands of times in our lifetimes. At some point, we're either rude, ignorant, pretending, whatnot, according to you. So if we're to avoid that, we have to explain each and every time that we're deaf? I think not. It takes a toll, so it becomes that we find an alternative. When we encounter this day after day, week after week, year after year, how can we not? Oy.
 
Frisky Feline said:
I would love to witness those hearing people trying to be pretending either deaf or mute. Sad, I never witness them in reality. Is that because they have no time to understand how we deafies deal by approaching hearing people everyday?
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Like I said before, we, deaf people, are skilled at adapting because we had to do it all of our lives while most hearing people never had to do it henc their inability to accodomate to meet our needs. They are naturally going to expect us to meet their hearing needs. As a result, many of us adapted into social behaviors like the one I am using as a topic for this thread. God forbid should the deaf people be punished for it!
 
AlleyCat said:
Multiply that meeting with a stranger for 10 seconds by hundreds or thousands of times in our lifetimes. At some point, we're either rude, ignorant, pretending, whatnot, according to you. So if we're to avoid that, we have to explain each and every time that we're deaf? I think not. It takes a toll, so it becomes that we find an alternative. When we encounter this day after day, week after week, year after year, how can we not? Oy.
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Maybe I should type "again" hundreds of thousand times here on this thread to see what it literally looks like, heh? :lol:
 
shel90 said:
Like I said before, we, deaf people, are skilled at adapting because we had to do it all of our lives while most hearing people never had to do it henc their inability to accodomate to meet our needs. They are naturally going to expect us to meet their hearing needs. As a result, many of us adapted into social behaviors like the one I am using as a topic for this thread. God forbid should the deaf people be punished for it!
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I know. I still want to see hearing people doing by pretending to be deaf or mute for a week. I am sure that they would explain it even better without questioning us so constatnly by "why?!" anymore.
 
I have no problem at all ignoring a "hearing stranger" and I don't feel "obligated" to explain my deafness to ANYBODY!....Who cares if the "hearing stranger" finds you rude?...Many people have called me "stuck up" because I didn't answer them....I sure as heck don't lose any sleep over it....Perhaps, eventually, they might realize ur deaf....and if they don't, who really cares?
Whenever a stranger came up to me and started talking, it was realllly simple to point to my ear and let them know by shaking my head, "I'm deaf, can't hear you"....if they persist, and I don't have time or actually don't want to talk to them, I walk off.....no skin off my nose!...Some people are simply ignorant and don't understand deafness!...Why should it be mine or your problem?....It isn't!...And since they are just "a stranger"...ignore them.....Jeez, what could be more simplier than this?
 
rockin'robin said:
I have no problem at all ignoring a "hearing stranger" and I don't feel "obligated" to explain my deafness to ANYBODY!....Who cares if the "hearing stranger" finds you rude?...Many people have called me "stuck up" because I didn't answer them....I sure as heck don't lose any sleep over it....Perhaps, eventually, they might realize ur deaf....and if they don't, who really cares?
Whenever a stranger came up to me and started talking, it was realllly simple to point to my ear and let them know by shaking my head, "I'm deaf, can't hear you"....if they persist, and I don't have time or actually don't want to talk to them, I walk off.....no skin off my nose!...Some people are simply ignorant and don't understand deafness!...Why should it be mine or your problem?....It isn't!...And since they are just "a stranger"...ignore them.....Jeez, what could be more simplier than this?[/quote]

Then that's your personality. Not all of us are like you.

I thought humans were supposed to be diverse, not clones of each other?

In the bold, this thread is not about criticizing others for handling this differently but respecting our diverse personalities.
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Here's a idea: Have a business card printed with: "Hi! I'm deaf and I use sign language. It is nice to meet you, have a nice day :) If you are curious and are interested to know more, please don't ask me to explain, come and visit so-so deaf organisation , sign language class, or the local Deaf Community". (give details of where to find it on the web or in the town/city.)

Hand it out to anyone who approaches you with small talk. Sign "ok", smile and going on your way.
 
BecLak said:
Here's a idea: Have a business card printed with: "Hi! I'm deaf and I use sign language. It is nice to meet you, have a nice day :) If you are curious and are interested to know more, please don't ask me to explain, come and visit so-so deaf organisation , sign language class, or the local Deaf Community". (give details of where to find it on the web or in the town/city.)

Hand it out to anyone who approaches you with small talk. Sign "ok", smile and going on your way.
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This is an interesting idea!

I know of some parents of CI kids who have cards like that. They say something like "Those things on my ears are called cochlear implants. They help me hear". And then give some information.
 
faire_jour said:
So, it is ok for Bott and PFH and RR to say this, but because I'm hearing and agree with them, I should shut up?
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No, what Shel means is that you are just not 'getting it' despite the fact that some hearing people here do. This is a classic example of ignorance becoming a 'handicap' to you. That's why Shel said 'It is because you are not deaf'.
 
BecLak said:
No, what Shel means is that you are just not 'getting it' despite the fact that some hearing people here do. This is a classic example of ignorance becoming a 'handicap' to you. That's why Shel said 'It is because you are not deaf'.
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It's not about ignorance, it's about disagreeing. There are clearly Deaf people who agree with me.
 
faire_jour said:
Why would I give a rat's ass if a stranger who saw me for 10 seconds, and will likely never see me for the rest of my life, thinks I'm rude???
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YOU just answered your own damn question! Why would we give a rats ass about explaining to a stranger who saw us for 10 seconds that we cant hear or thinks were rude? HUH?:fu2:
 
I actually have a card like that that explains I'm blind and hard of hearing and how to get my attention and how to communicate with me. I use it when I'm sitting down but if I'm walking around it's hard to carry it. There are also times I don't feel comfortable announcing to the world I'm blind/hh. "Easy target over here!"
 
ncff07 said:
YOU just answered your own damn question! Why would we give a rats ass about explaining to a stranger who saw us for 10 seconds that we cant hear or thinks were rude? HUH?:fu2:
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First of all, there is no reason for you to curse at me and get so nasty.

Second, I never ever said that anyone had to explain anything. All I said was that if you are unhappy with your interactions, change something about them. For each person, that something would be different (some people would ignore, others sign, others ask for accomidations). I just thought that doing nothing, and not understanding, and being unhappy about it wasn't good.
 
faire_jour said:
It's not about ignorance, it's about disagreeing. There are clearly Deaf people who agree with me.
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Yes, there are Deaf who agree with you on your suggestions of approach. But it is clear that you are still not 'getting it'. Therefore, ignorance is becoming your "handicap". You are displaying the typical ignorance of the mainstream hearing. (Others of you who are hearing and do get it, are not in the 'typical ignorant' category - this does not apply to you). Read my post #318 and then perhaps then you can begin to understand where we are coming from.
 
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